Chapter 8 #3
A low groan claws up my throat as she tilts her pelvis, fingers seeking purchase in my hair. She squirms against me, her entire body coming alive as I fuck my tongue in and out of her.
The sounds that spill out of her unravel me. It’s not even a conscious thought when I reach down and start fisting my cock. I’m so hard it’s painful, and I’m aching for relief.
Gabi contracts around me as the pressure in her body reaches a tipping point of pure agony. I’m right there with her.
I pull my tongue out of her and swirl it around her clit as a mounting tension builds—and then snaps.
The breath heaves from her lungs as she comes on my face, her body trembling as pleasure crashes through her.
I draw it out until I can’t hold back any longer. Then, before I can rationalize what I’m doing, I pull myself upright and stretch her pussy apart with my fingers.
“Eros?” She pants.
A guttural growl rips from my chest as I shoot my cum inside her, wringing out every last drop until she’s thoroughly marked as mine.
Gabi shivers, a wave of goosebumps rippling over her body as my cum leaks down her thigh. With my sanity already untethered, I scoop it up and push it back inside.
“Wait.” The protest tumbles out of her. “Shouldn’t we talk about tests and stuff?”
“No need.” I close the distance between us and press my lips against hers. “I’ve never been with anyone else.”
“You haven’t?” Disbelief colors her voice.
“No. I haven’t.”
She takes a moment to process that before she nods. “I haven’t either.”
Air expands in my lungs when she confirms it. She couldn’t know how much I needed to hear those words from her.
“I’m on birth control too,” she says.
“I know.” A smile tugs at my lips as I dip my forehead against hers.
“How do you know?”
“Courting you from afar, remember?”
“Right,” she breathes.
I take her mouth in a slow, languid kiss, entertaining the thought of doing this all night. Gabi, however, has other ideas.
“You’re still hard,” she murmurs.
I hum my acknowledgment, grinding my cock against her pussy.
“Do you want to have sex?”
She sounds so hopeful, I don’t want to crush her, so I try to let her down gently.
“Not yet.”
“Why?” she protests. “We’ve talked about it. It sounded like you wanted to.”
“Make no mistake,” I rasp. “I fucking want to.”
“Then what is it?”
“You’ll try to kick me out of your bed the minute it’s over. I want the girlfriend experience.”
“That’s not true,” she argues, but even as she says it, I can hear the uncertainty in her voice.
She’s torn between being in the moment and holding back for whoever the fuck Orion is. I don’t even know him, but already, I’m imagining fifty different ways to murder him.
“I’ll get something to clean you up.” I start to push away from her, but she grabs me by the arm, anchoring me there.
“Please don’t go,” she whispers. “I like this.”
“Are you here with me, or are you thinking of him?”
“Who?” She stiffens beneath me.
“Whoever it is you’ve been using me as a placeholder for.”
“It’s not like that.” The words leave her in a rush.
“Then tell me what it is like.”
“You aren’t a placeholder,” she says. “And he and I aren’t ever going to happen.”
The note of sadness in her voice hits me in the solar plexus.
I fucking hate that she’s thinking of anyone else, and I know without a shadow of a doubt it couldn’t be me.
I’ve been the world’s biggest asshole to her for the last five years. I tormented her at every opportunity, convincing myself if she hated me, she could move on.
Truthfully, though, it didn’t matter whether I was fighting or flirting with her—the sick part of me liked it all.
Any reaction from her fed the craving I tried in vain to kill. But deep down, I knew I’d gone too far.
I hurt her.
I made my presence something she had to endure. And in the end, I was just another person in her life who let her down.
Now, she’s in bed with Eros, offering herself to him instead.
I did this.
But it’s never felt heavier than it does right now.
“Give me a minute.” I pull away and head for the bathroom.
When the door clicks shut behind me, I splash some water on my face and glare at my reflection.
Another intrusive thought echoes through my head.
Smash your skull. Take the glass. Cut your throat.
My gaze drifts to the scar beneath my jaw where I already played that game once, before the orderlies got to me.
They were always fucking up my plans.
My father came to visit after and told me there was a reason I never succeeded. I just had to find it. Then he brought me home and took the only reasons I had left away.
You aren’t good for her.
Not like this.
In my mind, I punch the mirror and shatter it. In reality, I grab a cloth and soak it with warm water before I head back to Gabi.
“I’m sorry.” Her voice wavers as I clean her up.
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for, little shark.” I grab her shorts and slide them back on. “But you should get some rest. It’s late.”
“Are you leaving?”
When I don’t answer her, she sits up and touches the makeshift blindfold. “Can I take this off now?”
“Hang on.” I adjust my throat mic and put my mask and gloves back on. Once they’re in place, I take off her blindfold and smooth out her hair.
“Lie down.”
She does as I ask, even as tears hover at the edges of her eyes. I don’t know who they’re for, and I don’t ask. Part of me wants to stay and tell her everything’s okay, but I’m too fucked up in the head right now.
I grab her stuffed bear and tuck him against her before I cover her over.
“Goodnight, Gabriela.” I brush my fingers over her face one last time.
She nods, forcing a watery smile. “Goodnight.”