Chapter 9
GAbrIELA
At school, the entire campus is buzzing with the news that the search for the missing students has been called off. The reports say they’re presumed dead, but questions still linger.
I try not to think about it, but it feels like everyone I pass is staring at me today.
My suspicions are confirmed when I’m walking Beppe between classes, and I scan the quad, noticing two guys leaning against one of the trees.
They’re both watching me, and it takes me a minute, but I recognize them as Nate’s friends.
I saw them together a few times before he approached me, and they were also at the vigil.
An eerie feeling crawls down my spine as I consider that they knew about Nate’s plans that night.
Julian follows my gaze, frowning when he sees them. Apparently, it’s part of his job description to cast murderous glares at any male who stares my direction. It seems to work because the two guys leave their post and retreat across campus.
Beppe barks, alerting me that we only have a few minutes to get to class, so I scoop him up and secure him in his tote bag.
When I get to the studio, I stop at our assigned cubbies outside to grab some tools from mine. But when I open it, I find a Ghostface plushy waiting for me, along with a note.
For your collection.
-E
I stare at the gift with a stupid smile on my face, but it fades when I remember how last night ended.
Eros asked who I’ve been using him as a placeholder for, and I tried to deny it. But the truth is much messier than that, and I’m starting to realize being casual isn’t as easy as I’d hoped. Especially when he does stuff like this, because it doesn’t feel casual.
It’s confusing, particularly when he tried to warn me away from him to begin with, but now it seems like he wants all of me. I think we’re both crossing lines we never meant to, and I feel guilty for it.
There’s too much to unpack there, so for now, I send him a thank you text.
In return, he sends me a shark GIF, and I’m a little bummed that’s his only response.
There was no wake-up text from him today, or anything else.
But he did come here to give me the plushy, so I guess he hasn’t written me off completely.
It does make me wonder, though. Abella suspected he could be Mafia, but it seems unlikely the Cosa Nostra would send one of their own to study biology.
In this case, IVI seems more plausible to me than anything, since some Society members attend school here.
But truthfully, I don’t want to know who or what he is.
Things are already too messy, and that will only complicate them further.
I close my cubby and head into the studio. Julian checks the room, and once it’s clear, he steps out into the hall to wait for me.
After a brief with Professor Harlow, we’re given the rest of the class to work. I’m eager to get started on finalizing my material selections, but before I even get a chance, a shadow falls over my table.
I blink up at my classmate Bethany, who’s hovering over me with a strained smile.
She’s never spoken to me unless it’s required, and even then, it’s only been to lob harsh insults at my work during peer critiques.
I know a few things about her—namely that she’s popular on campus, she thinks she’s better than everyone else, and she’s dating one of Nate’s friends.
“Hey, you left your measurements on the cutting table last week.” She slides a piece of paper toward me. “I wanted to make sure you got them back.”
I glance down to find an address I don’t recognize, along with a time to meet up tomorrow.
“We know you were with Nate that night.” Bethany lowers her voice, losing all pretense of friendliness. “This is your one chance to explain yourself. If you don’t, you’ll regret it.”
Before I can even say anything, she heads back to her table. There’s no name on the note, but after what happened on break, there isn’t a need for one.
If the members of Imperium think I’m going to meet them in private, they’re out of their minds.
I crumple the paper and throw it in the trash, trying to push it from my thoughts as I get to work.
But it stays with me for the rest of the afternoon, and when I get home, I go straight to my room and start googling.
Hopefully Abella will have an update from Romeo soon about what he’s found on Imperium. In the meantime, I need to figure out who to watch out for.
I know some of Nate’s friends were interviewed by the local news after the students went missing. Those are the clips I’m searching for, but a different headline pops up from this morning.
Anonymous Tip Sparks Drug Sting, Leading to Arrests of Two Laurelhaven Students.
I read through the piece, which doesn’t provide much information.
It states that the arrests took place at a Belltown nightclub, and the men are noted to be sons of prominent university alumni.
There’s no mention of what substances they had in their possession, but I wonder if it’s related to whatever Nate dumped in my drink that night.
I spend some time watching interviews and reading through a few articles before it all starts to blur together.
With a sigh, I close my computer and flop down on the bed, letting Beppe do zoomies around my head while I text Eros.
BiteSizedGabi: Are you coming over tonight?
I hesitate before I press send, wondering if that sounds too not-casual. But at the same time, I really want to see him and smooth over any lingering tension. After overthinking it for a full two minutes, I decide to go for it, then hold my breath until he replies.
Eros415: Can’t. I’m busy tonight.
He sends me a selfie in the Ghostface mask, reading a very familiar copy of Pride and Prejudice. When I glance at the missing space on my bookshelf, I gasp.
BiteSizedGabi: You stole my book?
Eros415: Stole implies permanence. I’ll return it once I figure out what’s so great about this Mr. Darcy character you’re obsessed with.
BiteSizedGabi: I’m not obsessed.
Eros415: You have five copies.
Okay, well, I can’t argue that.
BiteSizedGabi: Are you really going to stay home and read?
Eros415: Missing me already?
I stare at those words, trying to identify if that’s what this feeling is. But the longer I think about it, the more confused I get.
BiteSizedGabi: I’m just surprised you’d rather have a night in with Mr. Darcy than me.
Eros415: Show me what we’d do if I were there right now.
A warm flush spreads over me as I consider it.
We haven’t played this game in a while. The send-each-other-spicy-GIFs game.
I type a few keywords in the search box and scroll until I find one that I’ve been thinking about for a while.
It’s a clip of a masked man taking a woman from behind while he snaps a picture.
I was inspired by the selfie Eros left on my phone.
When he receives the message, he starts typing, then pauses several times before finally sending a response.
Eros415: Is that an invitation?
BiteSizedGabi: Yes.
Eros415: Maybe if you’re a good girl this week.
BiteSizedGabi: You’re really not coming over?
Eros415: Show me what I’m missing.
BiteSizedGabi: What do you mean?
Eros415: OOTD.
BiteSizedGabi: Have you been stalking my Instagram, too?
Eros415: I’m waiting…
I roll over onto my back and hold the phone up, angling it to get a shot of my outfit. Today I’m wearing a pink plaid mini dress with a cropped knit cardigan, white tights, and sneakers. I snap the pic and send it to him.
Eros415: You’re a walking distraction.
BiteSizedGabi: I’m not sure if that’s a good thing? Btw, you never sent me a GIF.
A minute passes before he replies, attaching a GIF of a masked man chasing a woman through the forest until he captures her.
Eros415: This what you want, little shark?
A shiver coasts down my spine as I watch it again. He couldn’t have chosen a better depiction of what I’d described when I told him all the things I want to try.
BiteSizedGabi: Enthusiastic yes.
Eros415: You won’t get scared?
I know he’s probably referencing the way I shut down the night we met.
That happens in traumatic situations or when I get too overwhelmed.
But I’m drawn to the idea of fear play because it’s structured.
We’ve talked through what I want and what my limits are.
So even if it’s unscripted, there are still parameters.
BiteSizedGabi: I’ll get scared, but that’s the point. As long as I know it’s you under the mask, I’ll be fine.
A few minutes pass, and I wait anxiously, wondering if he’ll turn me down. Things were tense between us last night as we skirted around the subject of Romeo, but I’m not the only one with secrets.
When I asked Eros why he chose his username, he deflected, questioning my interpretation instead.
I wasn’t sure if it alluded to the contrast between Eros and Agape, or Eros and Psyche.
The second possibility makes me think there must be someone in his past too, even if it never evolved into an intimate relationship.
The thought that he might love someone else makes me slightly nauseous, so I understand why it bothers him that I have a past with Romeo. But either way, it shouldn’t matter. What we are now is all we can ever be.
When he finally texts me back, I’m relieved until I see his message.
Eros415: I have some homework for you.
BiteSizedGabi: Okay?
Eros415: Take the rest of the week to think about it. Give me three reasons why you want me to be your first. Real reasons, not what you think I want to hear. Be brutally honest.
I stare at the screen, stroking Beppe’s fur as I consider it. Truthfully, I don’t know if he’ll even want me if I’m brutally honest with him. But I think that’s the point.
He’s not in this for immediate gratification. He needs it to mean more to me, and I can’t figure out why. As much as I want that too, it also scares me—because it can’t mean more.