Chapter 44
FORTY-FOUR
LAUREL
I woke with arms wrapped around me, morning sunlight filtering into the room. My night had been hours of gritty, drawn-out dozing, only sleeping in fits before waking again.
I swallowed, the fear threatening to overwhelm me as last night’s events caught up with me.
I’d done it. I’d finally managed to soothe one of them. To use my scent for something pure. But it didn’t matter. Kaos still hated me, even as he used me to steady himself.
He’d cuddled me all night, though that word wasn’t right. Could you cuddle someone you’d bound and tied? He’d curled against me, his skin against mine.
It was like he’d stripped me of everything I usually did to keep my walls up, and now he was holding me against his chest, his purr rumbling through my body.
Kaos’s touch felt like sweet poison.
The sensation of his skin touching mine started out normal, comforting, then would crest and break, the contact searing with prickles of pain.
It would build in me, making my head throb, my bond mark burn.
Sometimes, blessedly, the feeling would recede, with a swooping sensation in my stomach and a numbness through the bond.
The lack of pain would release me to sleep, but my dreams were haunted with a crushing, gripping loneliness. I’d awake again, briefly relieved to find Kaos’s arms around me before the pain started again. I wasn’t sure which was worse.
Kaos had claimed something from me, not claimed me.
It was torture enough being near them, having to feel their hatred and disgust and being able to do nothing.
There was a time when I’d believed Jule had been dead and I was sure it was my fault.
That I’d failed him, and though I was 99% sure he was alive, I didn’t want to fail anyone else like that again.
When I couldn’t stand it anymore, I wriggled, carefully slipping out of his arms and sitting on the edge of the bed. I tried to calm myself as I rubbed my eyes, trying to dispel how gritty they felt.
Somehow, I had to try and fix this. As I steadied my breathing, I tried to come up with the words.
My father had signalled for Ocean to be killed. I saved his life.
Before I could speak, the bed creaked, and I turned to face Kaos in the morning light. His hair was pulled back, and his chest was bare. My eyes snagged on a raised scar running over his shoulder, a wonky tri-forked mark.
I froze.
That scar.
How had I missed that last night?
I’d never forget that scar.
I’d been there the day Jule had carved it into his skin.
“Demon,” I whispered as I finally placed who he was.
His eyes darkened.
His hair was long now, and he’d had none of the piercings or tattoos when I last saw him. His body, once packed with muscles, was now nothing but skin and bone.
But the eyes were the same.
I’d seen him countless times in the ring, facing off against feral opponents. Fighting for his life.
My hand flew up to cover my mouth. I’d been so, so wrong. There was only one reason he’d come back, and that was to claim revenge.
Kaos slammed me back into the wall, jolting my shoulder painfully. “You don’t call me that,” he growled, his hands squeezing my arms tight enough to leave bruises. “Ever.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, my skin burning where he touched it. “I just—I thought you were dead.”
He let go, stepping back and folding his arms. “Sorry to disappoint you.”
I shook my head, brows creasing. “No, I’m glad you’re out. I—”
I cut myself off, my mind spinning.
He was a former fighter. This changed everything.
“Ocean was infiltrating, wasn’t he?” I asked, searching his face. “That’s what you’re doing here. You’re trying to stop my father.”
“Clever little duckie,” Kaos sneered. “And now you’re helping us, whether you want to or not.”
Relief hit me so hard, my knees almost buckled. Ocean wasn’t a criminal. This pack wasn’t out to claim me because I was the Crimson Duchess—they were trying to bring my father to justice.
To finally stop him. And I was being forced to do something I’d always been too afraid to try—to actually bring him down.
I sank to my knees, feeling a burn in my nose.
My chest was tight, and I squeezed my eyes shut. What kind of fucked-up revelation was this?
My scent matches were here, and they were everything I’d ever dreamed of. They were here to destroy this life I hated.
Perhaps, if things had been different… if I’d gotten to know and trust Ocean… we could have been allies, not enemies. I would have done this without being forced to, if I’d known they were there to support me. My heroic knights, coming to my rescue.
Perhaps it wasn’t too late?
I peered up at Kaos, to where he was still looking down at me in disdain. I could tell him that I’d actually saved Ocean, and maybe we could start over?
But guilt stayed my tongue. After all, it had been my fault Ocean was taken. If I had warned him to stay away earlier, if I hadn’t reacted to Madison that night, he’d be free now.
Kaos had pulled out my phone and dialled Finch, who answered on the second ring.
“You have a report?” he said.
Kaos snorted. “She recognized me.”
There was a pause.
“So?”
“So, she knows we hate her father.”
“Do you have a point, Kaos?” Finch asked.
“She can properly ask Ocean now.” His black eyes fixed on my face. “But I need your promise, Finch. I need you to promise that if Ocean wants out, we’ll break him out. Tonight or tomorrow.”
There was a long pause. Kaos’s face darkened, and anger pulsed out of him through the bond. For a second, I was sure he was going to smash the phone.
“All right,” Finch finally said. “Laurel, next time you see Ocean, tell him he has a choice. We could break him out tomorrow and give up on our mission. Or we can go through with my plan to try to free him and get revenge.”