Chapter 43
FORTY-THREE
KAOS
A hundred lines of the sitcom floated from the TV, all mixing together like a distant buzz.
I heard the air of the AC as it switched on, but I couldn’t tell if the air was too hot or too cold. It was electric, though, as if static washed through my veins each time I filled my lungs.
My whole body was a magnet, tense, sensing the drag that led to the bedroom.
What awaited me there?
I stood.
I frowned—or maybe I’d stood a minute ago.
Time had started again but wasn’t working right. I wasn’t used to having this pull within the fog. Toward someone.
Her.
The omega.
I blinked, looking down at where a lock of her hair was clasped in my palm. There was a string of rope slung over my shoulder.
Yeah…
I was a monster.
That was what I had been doing.
I took a step toward the room.
Her hands had felt so nice as she’d brushed my hair.
Her scent had been so soft in my nose, almost making me human again.
Ocean needed me to be human.
She could make it so.
The apartment was beautifully dark, how I liked it. The lightbulbs had been too bright, stabbing into my eyes. Little weapons Laurel liked to attack me with. I’d taken them all and tucked them safely into a little nest in the linen closet, scribbling peaceful sleeping faces on them with a Sharpie.
I stepped into the bedroom, finding her curled up asleep on her soft bed. Tsk, tsk. She wasn’t supposed to be here, though I had been taking up the couch bed. Ah, well.
The hair and rope found their place on the nightstand beside her.
Her thick lashes brushed her cheeks, curls tumbling over round cheeks, red lips pressed gently together.
The sweetest demon to ever ruin a pack.
My thumb brushed her lips as I stared down at her.
I cocked my head, smiling as my thoughts tumbled into that moment he’d met her.
The pure blinding adoration that had flowed from my Ocean as he’d scented her.
Ocean deserved the world.
He’d been so hopeful.
I’d wanted an omega for him too. I was wary of dreaming, always had been, but there was no stopping the hope.
Hope she’d torn down.
I was dragged to the present by the shift in her vanilla rose notes spiking sharply in fear.
I refocused.
Thick lashes had lifted, and her large blue eyes were grey in the moonlight.
Oh—hello, sweet demon.
My thumb still rested upon her lips. I was still sitting in the dark by her side, cloaked in silence.
Laurel didn’t move, but it was hard not to notice how tense her body had become.
She was afraid. Or unsure.
I shifted my thumb, stroking her cheek again. She flinched away, daring to push herself up from where she lay.
Her gaze was darting around in the dim light now, and I saw it land on the knife and rope resting by my boots. She stared at them for an age before returning her gaze to me.
Her eyes were wide and afraid, as if I’d lost it.
But I wasn’t mad.
Not yet.
Madness was in my periphery, threatening to swallow our pack whole.
My brother would be mad, his bond pulsing with sickness that would corrupt him forever. It would drive away his soul, just as I’d lost mine.
I wasn’t strong enough to be his anchor; instead, I would poison him more.
But maybe not tonight.
The strongest thing I could offer him now was this bond.
So, if I couldn’t hold on, we’d lose everything.
She made me focus. Gave me something to do. Let me feel comfort that I could give to Ocean through our bond.
“Sit up,” I said. The words were quiet, but a command, drawing a reaction out of her before she even realized.
Her lips parted in fear as she settled back on her ankles, and I saw her eyes dart to the door.
I felt the edge of a smile on my lips as I watched her make the calculation.
Could she run? A fool’s game, since one word from me and she’d stop.
I hoped she tried.
It might help if I got to chase her again.
I was disappointed when, after a long moment, Laurel resettled on her ankles, clearly not betting on an escape attempt.
She was still tense, though, still cautious, which was natural, for how clearly I dwarfed her.
I reached out, ignoring her flinch, and took one of her wrists. With the other hand, I picked up the rope by my side. I didn’t need it to get what I wanted, but I needed her to understand the truth.
I was taking this from her.
This would not be a moment of tenderness, not a mate seeking comfort from another.
There was no mercy, no forgiveness, and she would feel no control.
I pinched her wrist between my thumb and finger, then nodded to her other hand, waiting.
It was impossible not to watch each inch of her slender neck shift as she swallowed, clearly working through my request. If I pressed my lips to her neck right now, would I feel her racing pulse?
My impulsive imagining of my teeth sinking into flesh was interrupted by her doing what I wanted. It was a strange thrill in itself, seeing her lift her other wrist for me.
I grinned before I could stop myself. “Hold still, little demon,” I murmured, lifting the rope and binding her wrists.
She sat still for me as I tugged off my shirt, though the blood was quickly draining from her cheeks, her eyes more flighty as understanding dawned on her.
I dragged her onto my lap.
“Shh, shh,” I murmured, hugging her against my chest and inhaling her sweet floral calmness.
Everything steadied. In my mind, in the pack bond.
This was right.
Of course, it was right.
She was our mate, and we’d done everything right.
She was the one who’d broken it all.
I felt a vibration shudder into my world, striking me down to my soul.
She… I frowned, drawing her tighter against my chest.
She was…purring?
Odd.
Didn’t omegas purr when they felt safe?
Laurel wasn’t supposed to feel safe.
A low rumble ground to life in my throat, just for a moment. A warning.
Her purring didn’t stop, though—it got louder.
I frowned before I felt how violently she was shaking.
Oh.
They purred for fear, too…
My alpha rose like a bear in the night, demanding I let her go, that I fix it or stop. I squeezed my eyes shut, another growl slipping out.
I wouldn’t.
That was why I was here, for these same shattered instincts.
She had broken us.
Now, I would make sure she fixed us.