Chapter 21
Declan, Present
As I turn onto my neighborhood street, my car catches on a bump in the road. It jostles me slightly, making me squeak as the welts on my ass make themselves known again.
I haven’t gotten the chance to assess the damage since Javi spanked the fuck out me then jacked us both off after lunch.
It was almost enough for me to tell him to stop—sitting right there on the edge between pleasure and pain.
But I ultimately loved it.
He’s turned me into a little freak sex demon. I can’t seem to get enough of him.
I act like I’m so bothered by it. Reluctant to give it away every time he comes after me. But the truth is that I’m fucking addicted.
I’m not even sure how long it’s been going on now. Months of secret night hookups. And the occasional in-school hookup.
Okay… maybe more than occasional.
And despite all the time, we still haven’t had actual penetrative sex yet.
I’ve never quite done that before, even though everyone—including Javi—probably thinks I have half-a-million times.
Well, nope. I’m a virgin. But I think I’d like to give it to Javi.
We may not be in love or whatever, but we can sure have a good time together. And that will probably count for something.
Earlier today, he just looked at me in the cafeteria and I got hard.
And now I’m hard again just thinking about that.
God, I’m messed up.
Especially because this thing we have going on doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t erase what happened at the end of last year. How he left me.
I can’t ignore that.
And yet, that’s exactly what I keep doing. Pushing the thoughts away. Enjoying it for now.
I pull into my driveway and turn the car off.
Once I’ve grabbed my bag from the passenger seat and look up, I freeze.
The inky feeling of dread and panic leak into every part of me as I watch Carter fucking Hayes shirtless and sweaty in my front yard.
Bending over and fucking around with the plant beds or some shit.
I glance around the driveway, noting that Harold and Nancy’s car is missing.
I definitely don’t love that.
The best thing to do would be to get out of the car and run inside. Avoid all contact. But I’m still frozen for some reason.
Not my insides, though. They think we’re running a fucking marathon. My heart’s about to beat right out of my chest. The little images I have—the ones I shove down—keep popping up in my head. A memory but not quite.
Finally, my limbs cooperate. Clutching my bag to my chest, I quickly get myself out of the car and start a fast-paced walk for the front door.
I’ll have to pass him to get there, but if I keep my head down and don’t draw his attention, I can get inside without speaking to him.
Right as I’m about to reach the front porch steps, his big, sweaty body steps in front of me.
“Hey,” he says breathily as he drags his forearm across his forehead, wiping away some of the sweat.
I scowl and try to step around him, making it up one step, but he follows, cutting me off again.
“Why are you even here? Go back to your college life.”
He’s completely unaffected by the vitriol I’m trying to throw in his direction. “I don’t really need a degree to work for my dad’s company. So, I dropped out.”
That panicky feeling curls around my organs, squeezing them. “So… you’ll be home now?”
He smiles wider at me, his eyes lingering on my mouth a little too long. “Yeah.” He gestures to the plant bed behind him. “Nancy asked me to help out with some weeding.”
“Okay. Now leave,” I say harshly.
Cocking his head, he lets out a little chuckle. “Why so mean?” He takes a step closer, and I instinctively take one back, tripping a bit on the step below me. “Maybe we could hang out now that I’ll be home again.”
“No.” I walk around him and quickly climb up the steps, reaching for the door knob but finding it locked.
I whip around and plaster myself against the door as I aimlessly dig around in my bag for my keys.
He hums thoughtfully, walking slowly up the steps to reach out to me, pushing a strand of hair away from my face. I shrink away from the motion. I couldn’t possibly press myself any harder into the door.
“That’s funny,” he says. “I didn’t know you knew how to say no.”
I don’t say anything back as I stare at him, trying to breathe through the bile and panic in my throat.
He shrugs and makes his way back toward the plant bed. “We’ll see I guess,” he says softly.
My hand finally clasps against the smooth metal of the key. I unlock and rip the front door open, slamming it behind me and twisting the dead bolt into place. But even through the door, I hear him chuckle one more time.