Chapter 26
Javi, Present
Grant drags me away from the table. I manage to throw one last look back at Declan as he stares after us.
I try to keep my eyes blank, but all I can think about is how cute he looks sitting there.
How much I want to take him into a random room and stuff him full of my cock.
And also… I just want to go back and sit with him.
Listen to him talk to Landon. Hear his voice.
I didn’t really give a fuck that he had his shoes up on the table.
In fact, I love watching him draw. How concentrated he is.
But sometimes I like to just start fights with him in front of other people.
It’s almost like foreplay for us—talking shit to each other in public and fucking each other in private.
Most kids would get in trouble for leaving the cafeteria early, but not us. We’re football players. Plus, it’s Grant. He could murder someone right in front of a teacher and get away scot-free.
In fact, when we pass Dean Nelson, he gives us a polite little wave right before Grant pulls me into the bathroom.
He tosses me a bit against the bathroom wall, which I don’t fucking appreciate. “Watch it, asshole,” I growl playfully. “Did you need something, Grant?”
“You didn’t fucking listen, did you?”
I look up at the ceiling and smile before meeting his gaze again. “I do not know what you are referring to.”
“Cut the shit,” he barks back, completely unamused by my trying to make light of the situation. “Why do you want me to kick your ass? I told you that if you hurt Declan, you hurt Landon. And I’m not fucking allowing that.”
“It’s… different now,” I say tentatively.
He glares at me a long time before saying anything. “So, what? You’re ready to admit that you’re in love with him?”
I hold up each of my pointer fingers and wave them. “Whoa. No one said love.”
He scrubs his hand down his face. “What about everything that happened?” He widens his eyes at me to emphasize his point. “All the shit from last year. You’re cool about it now? Because you really fucking weren’t at the time.”
I’m silent. I’ve never actually talked about what happened with anyone.
Not in depth. Just let all the thoughts rattle around in my head, slowly poisoning me every day.
But Grant, despite that fact that he’s a huge, grumpy asshole, is an astute motherfucker.
Because no, I was not okay at the time. And even now, I push it out of my brain as much as I can, making sure to squash the fuck out of it every time it makes an appearance.
But so far, it always comes back. And the feelings associated with it.
Dread.
Betrayal.
Pain.
“Exactly,” he mutters as I continue to be quiet. Sighing, he runs a hand across his buzzed hair. “Be with him or don’t. Just decide.”
I can only nod in return. He nods back and starts to turn toward the exit. “I have to go walk Landon to class. Make a decision, man.”
He leaves, and after waiting a few moments, I follow after him.
The cafeteria has already been released, so the hall is bustling with everyone trying to get to their next class.
I spot his head of lavender hair walking up with Landon, so I hurry over to where he is, making it just in time for him to turn and run right into my chest.
He bounces off of me and almost falls, but my hands dart out to catch him. “Careful, munequito.”
Raising his head, he meets my eyes. It makes me smile, watching his gray eyes shine against the purple eyeshadow he has swept across his eyelids.
Suddenly, my stomach does some weird-ass fucking dance. Like it’s filled with butterflies all fighting their way to get out.
I’m so fucked.