Chapter 19
Richard
Richard attempted to steer clear of Darcy and Elizabeth for a few days, and he also avoided brothels of any sort.
He could not control his dreams, but he did attempt to distract himself from his salacious daydreams. Most significantly of all, perhaps, is that he called on Miss Cartwright three times that week.
Elizabeth was correct—Miss Cartwright was quite wonderful. She was no Elizabeth, unfortunately, but she was knowledgeable and handsome, and she had lovely manners as well as a magnificent dowry.
With all this effort on his part to move past his feelings for Elizabeth, he was confident that the next time he saw her—and especially the next time he saw them, together—he would not feel as if shards of glass were working their way through his stomach and into his gut.
After a week of avoidance, Richard was riding on a road that bordered Hyde Park, heading towards Miss Cartwright’s home in Regent’s Park, when Darcy and Elizabeth emerged from one of the paths in Hyde Park directly in front of him and only a few yards away.
Richard bowed and greeted them, and they responded in kind.
He was shocked that his envy felt as gut-wrenching as it ever was…
but he managed to not express it. He affixed in his memory Elizabeth’s angry response to his declaration of love, and even more impactful, Darcy’s face as he turned his back on him after that notorious punch at Angelo’s.
You never had her, so you must let the dream of her go.
All of his internal scolding did not make him feel better, but at least his gentlemanly behaviour meant that he did not have to feel even worse because of his own actions.
Elizabeth gave him a genuinely happy smile and said, “I visited Miss Cartwright yesterday, and she informed me that you will be attending the theatre together this coming week.”
He dipped his head in acknowledgement and said, “Yes, I am looking forward to it.”
He knew that his tone was quite flat—nothing like his usual friendly and boisterous manner—but it was the best he could do.
He saw that Elizabeth’s smile dimmed, and she shot a look towards Darcy that, Richard was almost certain, indicated that she pitied Richard. Darcy spoke up, then, firmly stating that they should return to the carriage if they were to meet the Gardiners in time.
In time for what? seemed to Richard to be a waste of breath, so he merely tipped his hat and said, “Carry on, then.”
And as Darcy walked away with Elizabeth on his arm, Richard ruminated on the fact that some people were lucky enough to have no problems whatsoever.