Chapter 20
Elizabeth
Elizabeth Bennet had a problem.
She had quite a happy outlook on life, and thus her current feeling of slowly increasing dread was as unfamiliar as it was unpleasant.
But, she thought, entirely reasonable.
The problem was actually two separate problems that seemed mutually exclusive:
First, after more than two months of seeing Mr Darcy daily, her planned visit to London was almost over.
She could write to her father, asking for more time at the Gardiners’, but she imagined that he would say no.
He was a positively dreadful correspondent, and she had no letters from him to prove her assumption, based on the past, that he was missing her badly and behaving even more indolent than usual.
However, letters from Mama, Jane, and Mary all gave evidence of his melancholy and lethargy, and they all seemed to indicate that they longed for her return for more reasons than them missing her.
Actually, she imagined that Mr and Miss Darcy would be returning to Pemberley before long, as well.
The last three times she had spent time with Georgiana, the girl had seemed to be missing the countryside and her home there quite a bit.
Elizabeth had not heard even a hint of such feelings from Mr Darcy, but she knew from his every mention of Pemberley that he loved it.
At any rate, either or both of them leaving London for the country would mean a separation of many miles and thus hours or days of travel. She was not certain how she could bear it.
Elizabeth’s second problem was that she felt quite worried about Mr Darcy meeting her family.
Obviously, he had already met part of her family: Aunt and Uncle Gardiner and their three children.
But the Gardiners were the very best of her family, other than her elder sister Jane.
Her parents and younger sisters were not nearly as well behaved, and although she loved them, she was not looking forward to her suitor meeting them.
Feeling strongly that she should not allow apprehension of the future to eclipse the joy of the present, Elizabeth had pushed down her worries for several days.
However, she now realised that repressing her worries had magnified the negative feelings.
She would need to face her problems head-on, which meant discussing them with Mr Darcy.
“I positively dread our coming separation, Mr Darcy,” she said as they talked quietly in the Gardiners’ parlour.
“Separation?” he asked. He seemed startled at the notion.
“My visit is coming to a close, and I must return to Hertfordshire soon. And I assume that you must return to Pemberley, as well?
Mr Darcy shook his head, one decisive shake that indicated a negative response to her question.
He said, “Naturally, I cannot drag my sister into days or weeks at an inn, but I can leave her with Aunt Helen. I feel it is about time that I met your father, and thus I planned to arrange for two rooms at Meryton’s inn, The George, for my valet and myself, once you return home. ”
‘Oh!” is all Elizabeth managed to say. One of her worries ebbed, but the other increased.
He went on, “As for Pemberley, I have an excellent steward and housekeeper; and whenever I am in Town, visiting another of my properties, or visiting friends or relatives, we exchange letters to keep me apprised of what is happening, so I may make decisions and arrangements.”
Elizabeth had previously heard the words “properties,” as in more than one, when Mr Darcy was explaining something—but she had of course assumed that meant the country estate of Pemberley, in Derbyshire, and Darcy House, in London.
His wording just then made it sound as if he owned at least two more!
How many properties did he own? Someone had said to her that “Pemberley alone” earned ten thousand a year; she wondered briefly how much Mr Darcy earned altogether.
But then she realised that she did not wish to know.
“Miss Elizabeth….You are happy to have me going to Hertfordshire with you, are you not?”
She looked up into Mr Darcy’s eyes and saw the vulnerability there.
“I assure you, sir, that I am overjoyed to not suffer a separation from you.” She smiled and saw that he quickly reverted to feeling confident again, but she held up one hand to alert him to the fact that there was more.
“I cannot feel equal joy that you will be meeting my family. Perhaps I should warn you that my parents are nothing at all like the Gardiners. And my three younger sisters are…not as well behaved as I would like. My elder sister is, however, practically perfect in every way.”
“I gather that you are saying that you are not feeling embarrassed about me, but you are worried about my impression of them?
She nodded.
“But I have no intention to court or marry any of them.”
“I am quite relieved to hear that, Mr Darcy.”
They both laughed, but then Mr Darcy touched the back of her hand with one finger, saying, “Seriously, I could not allow something as unimportant as ill-behaved relations dissuade me from courting you.”
“I hope you remember those words, Mr Darcy.”
“For one thing,” he went on, “I have some ill-behaved relations of my own. I assume you will not break with me because of my domineering aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh.”
“Domineering? I think I shall bear such a fault, although if you have a murderess aunt, I may have to reconsider.”
“Well, Lady Catherine has not murdered anyone yet, not that I know of, so I suppose our relationship is safe enough.”
Elizabeth laughed, but her spirits were still lower than usual. She felt a deep pride in herself and in her choice of Mr Darcy, pride in her aunt and uncle and elder sister. But there was shame in her life, as well. She hated feeling that way.
Mr Darcy seemed to understand her conflicted feelings, because he held her hand and murmured soothing words until it was time for him to leave.
When they had both stood up, and Darcy had kissed her hand and then finally relinquished it, Elizabeth said, “Until tomorrow, then.”
He said, “Yes…unless…”
“Unless?”
He whispered, “I forgot to check if there was one or more murderesses in your family. If there are three or more, I may have to reconsider.”
“Oh, you!” Her peals of laughter evoked his dimpled grin, and they parted in good cheer, for the most part.