Chapter 16
Darcy
Elizabeth and Miss Bennet returned home, and Richard and Darcy holed up with Bingley to discuss what he could do about his younger sister.
After discussing all they knew about asylums and what it would take to care for her in a private home, Bingley still wished to attempt to avoid scandal by arranging private care with a family member.
He sounded more determined than his usual wont, and both men agreed that he should at least try a private care arrangement with his cousin who, at age thirty, was already widowed.
She had no children, and her husband had been irresponsible with their money before committing the ultimate irresponsible act of dying in a duel.
Bingley planned to utilise two footmen who he trusted as guards, and he was certain that the income from Miss Bingley’s fortune of twenty thousand pounds would provide the funds needed for her care.
“My cousin is a strong woman, physically, and she is strong-willed, too. I am positive that she will be grateful to be given this chance to have her own home again.”
Darcy advised his friend to have his attorneys set up a trust so that Miss Bingley’s money could only be used a little at a time, with its disbursal depending on third-party visits to ascertain if the cousin was taking adequate care of his sister. Bingley took notes on his suggestions.
Raising his eyebrows as he saw Bingley’s much-blotted and nearly illegible list, Richard said that Darcy and he would write the letters Bingley needed to send.
It took several hours to do so, and when the three men finally repaired to the dining room, Darcy declared that they were done with all Caroline-related tasks, at least until the morrow.
Bingley shook his head. “Except, I have to check in on her several more times tonight, to ensure that each new shift of footmen receives the orders directly from the master. I wonder if Caroline will be a burden on me for the rest of my life?”
Richard clapped him on the back. “We all have our crosses to bear, Bingley. Look at poor Darcy, he has the care of his troublesome younger sister, too.” As he spoke, he stepped up to Georgiana’s side and kissed the top of her head, while she protested yet giggled.
Hurst was in attendance, but not his wife. He apologised for their absence, explaining that his wife was inconsolable about her sister’s welfare. “She blames herself for not having seen the signs.”
“Mrs Hurst is not coming down to dinner?” Georgiana asked.
“She finally fell asleep. I will arrange for a tray in our rooms, once she is awake.”
The much-diminished group sat down and ate.
When Hurst had dispatched two helpings of everything and Bingley had eaten many more helpings of most dishes, Georgiana stood and asked if she could be excused.
“As the only lady in the group, I believe I shall go to Madison and ready myself for bed. It has been an exhausting day.”
Bingley offered port, brandy, and coffee. Richard took brandy and Darcy port. They took their ease in the chairs near the fireplace. Hurst sat near them with a glass of port and a cup of coffee, and finally Bingley helped himself to port and settled in.
Hurst turned to Bingley and said, “Bingley, I apologise to you, particularly, but I wished to say that I will try, henceforth, to carry half of the weight of the decisions about care for our sister, and half of the work arranging such. I am so grateful to Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam for helping today when I was absent.”
“Hear, hear,” Bingley said. “Colonel, I barely know you, and you have laboured all day for my family. I have no idea how I can ever repay you.”
“No need to worry about repayment. Honestly, I owe my cousin here, rather a lot. By doing for you, while Darcy is visiting, I discharge some of the debt.”
Darcy held up his hands, saying, “Richard, please halt this nonsense. You owe me nothing. We have each of us been down, laid low by events, at different times of our lives, and we have always attempted to be there for one another.”
He was startled by Richard’s swift glance—because his cousin looked as tortured as he had been more than two months ago.
He wondered if that meant his feelings for Elizabeth were still as strong.
Darcy felt a surge of unease about his cousin for the first time since Richard had arrived, seeming so politely disinterested in her.
Bingley insisted once again that Richard was a hero and that he could not thank him enough, and Hurst echoed his thanks as well. Richard finally muttered something cryptic and then excused himself.
“What did he say?” asked Bingley. His eyebrows were raised, his eyes were round, and he looked more puzzled than concerned.
“I did not catch it,” Hurst admitted.
Darcy just shook his head, as if he was indicating that he had not heard his cousin, either. But Darcy had heard. Richard had said, “It was a relief to have something to keep me away from her.”
With his feeling of unease localising in Darcy’s stomach, the meal they had just eaten seemed to expand in an entirely unpleasant way.
The next morning, Darcy met Elizabeth, as usual, at the bottom of Oakham Mount. So many thoughts were swirling in his mind as he admired her dark curls blowing in the breeze, as he saw how the long, windswept skirt revealed the outlines of her legs, as her eyes sparkled and her smile dazzled.
First and foremost were the vivid images from his dream. He had no idea how his imagination could come up with…even more, and different…outrageously improper…scenarios.
The lustful imaginings fuelled his longing for Elizabeth more strongly than ever before.
Second, he kept having useless recurring thoughts about how much more dangerous Caroline Bingley apparently was than he had thought.
He had always assumed that Miss Bingley saw and accepted reality, although she schemed to have her own way, to manipulate others, to change other people’s minds.
But now he had to face the truth: her plans and schemes were wholly irrational.
And she had dared to add a substance to something the love of his life was about to drink—a madwoman had given his love a chemical that caused her to sleep for hours and hours.
Could there have been enough in the entire cup to have killed her? He could have lost Elizabeth!
The protective feelings he had always had for Elizabeth were more strongly engaged than ever before.
Third, Richard had listened to Darcy’s conundrum about a thief in the household in the same way that he always had—with intelligence and caring and willingness to actively seek solutions—and he had felt the old closeness with his cousin and best friend.
But a single glance and a few words had given him to understand that Richard still suffered from the unrequited love he felt for—for Darcy’s wife!
Yes! Elizabeth was already a wife to Darcy, and she had been for weeks now. If it was any other man harbouring such thoughts about his wife, Darcy would have wished him banished from Netherfield and all of his own properties. With Richard, though….
Elizabeth and Darcy were walking the trail, and he was aware that she kept looking into his eyes, studying his face…. She was concerned, and he tried to smile at her as if nothing was different, but he had the feeling that she was not fooled.
Elizabeth usually directly said something like, “I can see that you are upset.” Or she would ask about his thoughts and feelings.
Today, other than a brief greeting, she was silent.
He took a deep breath and, knowing that she should not always have to coax him to open up, he said,“I am deeply disturbed, and have been for many hours now, that Miss Bingley did not turn out to be a manipulative and conniving woman who wished to engineer a compromise, force a marriage, or ruin a reputation. Those are the things I took steps to ensure against. But I did nothing to protect you from the truth: she is a madwoman.”
“I had the same realisation.” Elizabeth’s voice was calm.
“I could have lost you.”
“But you did not.”
“You could have died.”
“But I did not.”
“I tried so hard to make certain I was protecting you—but then I was in another room, sipping my port, while a madwoman was slipping something into your tea!”
“But you sat with me all night. You protected me by being with me, and she did not do whatever she meant to do while I slept.”
Darcy remained stubbornly guilt-ridden.
“Will…” Elizabeth breathed. “Listen to me: there are many ways in which we could lose a loved one. However, if we take the time to consider and guard against all the what-ifs, we will not have time to live.”
He brought the hand he clutched up to his lips to bestow a grateful kiss. “You are of course correct. And wise. I will try to shrug off useless anxieties about what could have, but did not, happen. But….”
“But?”
“Richard.”
“Oh….” She seemed to ponder what to say.
“He has been very careful around me, William. His behaviour is, honestly, beyond reproach. If I did not know better, I would assume from the way he avoids looking at me, from the way he keeps his physical distance, from the brevity of our polite greetings and leave-takings—I would assume that he did not like me for some reason. I might even be hurt that the dearest cousin and friend of my husband disliked me. But I assume that, instead, he takes such care because some of his feelings for me still linger.”
Darcy nodded, and he found that he was able to truly smile at his love for the first time that morning. “You referred to me as your husband.”
She lifted her chin, instantly on the defensive. “And why should I not? We both said that we already think of each other, not as our intended husband, our intended wife, but as true husband and wife, as lifelong partners, our vows as yet unspoken but writ upon our hearts.”
He stopped walking, and even though they had rather uneven footing, he embraced her fiercely. “That is exactly how I feel, precisely how I have been thinking of you, as well.”
Within his embrace, Elizabeth’s basket pressing between them, her left foot slid a bit; William apologised and released her body but strongly grasped one hand as they continued up the gentle slope
At the top of the hillock, however, he took the basket from her and then crushed her to him.
He kissed her almost wildly, needing there to be not even the smallest separation between them.
Eventually, Elizabeth’s loving caress of his face, her tender hold of his upper arms, her gentle strokes on his back calmed his fierce need for her.
He gentled his hands and mouth and tongue, and he apologised again.
She pushed him away, her eyes sparking rather than sparkling. “Do not dare to continue apologising, Will. I cannot stand you always, always feeling shame for your feelings, regretting your expressions of love for me. I will not stand for it.”
He was shocked, and he looked blinking into her face. “I am sor—”
She began to frown, and he truncated the word sorry. “My—” Again his voice cut out, as he realised he was about to say my apologies. He looked at her helplessly, and her fiery eyes softened.
Lifting the saddlebag over his head, she took out the quilt, and spread it out on the ground. Then she sank down onto the quilt and tugged on his hand. He gladly peeled off his riding coat and lay down with Elizabeth.
“I saw something in Richard’s eyes last night,” Darcy admitted.
“And I have to say that it shocked me. My relationship with my cousin had seemed to be back to what it always had been. When I asked for help regarding the thefts, he dove right in, understanding and helping. He has done the same for me before, and I have done the same for him, many times. But then…seeing that flash of raw emotion in his eyes….I remembered, and I was appalled all over again.”
“But he is behaving well. I wished to tell you that I finally heard back from Alice Cartwright, on whom the colonel called quite a few times. She finally got her forwarded mail; she wrote that, after she left London for her family’s country estate, she has not seen or heard from your cousin.
She reported feeling a bit dismayed and confused about that.
When I asked the colonel about Miss Cartwright, he did not say much about her, but he did give me her direction.
If…if only he would fall in love with her, or any other lady, I am positive things will be better between the two of you. ”
“Well, I certainly agree with that.”
“But, even now, your cousin can remain dear to you, because he is keeping his feelings under good regulation.”
“I hope so.”
“You were explaining how you felt this morning. I apologise for interrupting.”
“The thought that I could have lost you, because of Miss Bingley dosing your tea, and the realisation that other men still want you, because of Richard’s expression—the combination greatly strengthened my wish to make you mine, not four weeks from now, but right away.”
“I think we should wait for that, dearest. But can you think of something you have been longing to do, that is not that?”
Darcy definitely could. He had been thinking of such things for weeks now, dreaming of them, wishing for them. He looked into her trusting eyes and remembered her anger at his apologies. There is no evil in showing her how much I love her, he told himself.
So, Darcy did show her his adoration. And, after an interval in which they ate, he showed her his love in yet another way. As they returned down the trail, several hours later, they were smiling and laughing and feeling altogether better than during their ascent.