Chapter 29
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
EMMA
I got rid of the fucked-up doll in the box that was burning a hole in my handbag. I know it was evidence, but in all honesty, I just wanted it gone. To forget it had ever been there. I’d put it inside a plastic bag and left it in the bins outside the estate. It was time for me to move on and start living my life again. And part of that new beginning meant opening myself up to the opportunities around me. One of those being Alex, and his dinner invitation.
He told me to wear something comfortable, casual and warm, so I went with a burgundy knitted dress that still had a sexy feel to it, with an off-the-shoulder detail, along with thick tights to keep me warm and a pair of boots. It was a cute outfit, and I couldn’t wait to see him and find out where he was taking me.
As I walked down the staircase, pushing my brown curls over my shoulder, I saw him standing at the bottom of the stairs smiling up at me. He was wearing jeans and a black hoody. I’d never seen him in anything other than a suit before, but it looked good on him. Plus, I got to see more of the neck tattoos that I loved, dark tribal patterns that were beyond sexy.
“You look stunning,” he said. “Absolutely beautiful.” As I came to stand in front of him.
“You don’t look too bad yourself,” I replied, giving him an elevator glance. This man could make a paper bag look sexy.
He held his arm out for me to take and led me across the foyer and out the front door. At the bottom of the steps was another sports car, a red one this time, and he opened the passenger door for me, helping me climb in before closing it and going to the driver’s side.
“So, where are we going?” I asked with a hint of excitement. It had been a long time since I’d felt giddy like this.
He turned to face me, and the smirk on his face gave me butterflies.
“I’ve always wanted to try something and never got round to it, so I thought tonight might be my chance to rectify that.”
“That sounds intriguing,” I replied, wondering if his words were a euphemism for something else.
What new thing did he want to try?
“Buckle up,” he mused. “And just enjoy the ride.”
We drove at speed through country lanes, eventually emerging into the town. All the time, I kept one eye on the road and the other on the way his tattooed hands gripped the steering wheel in a way that did things to me that I secretly loved. We made small talk as he navigated the nighttime roads, and I half expected him to pull into an underground car park or pull up outside a fancy restaurant that he would probably claim wasn’t fancy at all. But when he pulled into a familiar car park, I couldn’t help but laugh.
“McDonalds? Really?”
He shrugged and didn’t miss a beat when he replied, “I’ve never tried it. But I hear the quarter pounder here is to die for.”
Still laughing, I teased, “I call bullshit. I don’t think anyone in this day and age can say they’ve never had a McDonalds.”
“I can,” he stated with a straight face to show he meant what he said. “When I was younger, my mother refused to let me try it. Everything we ate was cooked by our chef. Then, as I got older...” He shrugged. “I just never got around to trying it.” He turned to face me as he pulled into the drive-through to join the queue. “You can’t say I haven’t surprised you, though.”
“You’ve definitely surprised me. I wouldn’t have guessed for one second that the great Alex Kingston would bring me to McDonalds for our first date.”
He leaned across the console, moving closer to me.
“You think I’m great?” he asked, unable to hide the smug way his eyes sparkled with mischief.
“Everyone thinks you’re great.” I shook my head, then smiled as he sat back with pride.
“And on a first date, she’s giving me compliments,” he mused.
“As first dates go, it’s certainly memorable,” I replied.
“It is for me, and we haven’t even started yet.” He gave me a wink as he moved the car forward. “What would you like?”
We both decided to go for quarter pounder meals with milkshakes, mine chocolate and his strawberry. He insisted on buying a couple of apple pies as well, as he’d heard so much about those, too. Seeing him order the food like a kid in a sweet shop was endearing. If any other guy had brought me to McDonalds, I might have raised an eyebrow. But it was something completely different with Alex, because I knew he was telling the truth. He hadn’t done the things most of us had because that wasn’t who he was. Or who he'd been made to be. This was all new to him. New and exciting. Which made it the same for me, too.
“Are we going inside to eat or are we staying in the car?” I asked, pointing across the car park and adding, “There’s a space over there if you want to park up.”
“No,” he replied. “We’re going somewhere else. I’ve reserved a special area for us to enjoy these legendary burgers.”
He put the food and drinks in the footwell, then drove out of the car park and headed down the street. After a few minutes, he pulled into a side road and then into another car park beside Merivale’s local park. He found a space to pull into, then turned the engine off.
“Come on,” he said, taking the bags and drinks as we opened our doors. “It’s just over there.”
I frowned at him as we walked into the darkness of the park, taking the path that led to the little lake I knew was at the bottom. Then, as we turned a corner, I gasped.
The trees were lit up with fairy lights, and outdoor heaters were set up to keep us warm. The area had a golden glow, magical in fact, and there, beside the lake on the grass was a picnic, with a blanket, cushions, a hamper, and a champagne bucket with ice and two glasses.
“Alex.” I sighed. “This is stunning.”
“You didn’t really think it’d just be a McDonalds drive-through, did you?” he replied with a twinkle in his eye as he watched me take it all in.
“I wouldn’t have minded if it was, but this, it’s... everything.”
He smiled, took my hand in his, and led me to the blanket. I sat down, letting go of his hand as he placed the food we’d brought beside me. Then he took a lighter out of his pocket and began to light various candles in glass jars that were placed around the edge. Once he was happy that everything was perfect, he took his phone out, tapped away at the screen, and then slow, soft music began to play.
“I’ve made a playlist for tonight. I hope that’s all right,” he said, and my heart melted a little more. He’d taken the time to make a playlist, for tonight, for us. He’d sat and thought about every little detail.
“Of course it’s all right. You’ve thought of everything.”
He smiled, reached for the champagne and took it out of the ice bucket. Then he popped the cork, and I held the glasses as he poured the champagne.
“I think champagne and milkshake go well together,” he joked placing the bottle back into the ice bucket.
“Champagne and burgers are even better,” I added.
“To us,” he said as he took his glass from my hand and tapped it against mine.
“To new beginnings,” I replied.
We sipped our drinks and then started to eat our burgers, and Alex said, “From the first moment I met you, I knew you were someone I had to get to know. But I don’t know enough. Tell me more about yourself.”
I hated those kinds of questions. I never knew what to say. So, I finished my mouthful, laughed, and replied, “From the first moment? But I was awkward and spoke a load of rubbish.”
“You weren’t awkward, at least, I didn’t see that side of you. I think you were brave, coming to an event like that on your own when you didn’t know anyone, and for a work assignment, too. Give yourself credit, Emma, you stood on your own and you fitted in. You more than fitted in, you shone.”
“That’s kind of you to say, but that night was a turning point for me, and not for the best.”
He raised his brows, then looking affronted, he said, “Perhaps in some respects, but there were positives that came out of that night, too. You met me.” And giving me a knowing smile, he added, “Always look on the bright side. When one door closes, another opens. And I have access to some pretty amazing doors. That night was the start of something beautiful.”
“Maybe you’re right,” I said, sipping my champagne to hide the fact that I was blushing.
“I’m always right. Now, tell me about your childhood.”
I put my glass down and tried to think of the right words as gentle music played quietly around us.
“I had the best childhood,” I told him. “Don’t get me wrong, losing my mum at such a young age was tough, but I couldn’t have asked for a better dad.”
“How old were you when she passed?”
“Eight. But dad was always my hero. He was there for me every day, in every way. He never missed a school event or anything that meant something to me. He put his life on hold to bolster mine.”
“You were his life.”
“I suppose I was. Losing him was tough.” I paused to compose myself. Talking about Dad always made me emotional. “Do you know, he used to send me a Valentine’s card every year with a question mark inside and a single red rose. It was only after he passed away that I realised he’d done that, because the next Valentines, there was no card, no rose.” I smiled at the memory. “To be honest, I always guessed it was him, but I liked to play along and hope it was a mystery admirer. And dad would pretend to be angry when he saw the card and rose. He’d say no one was going to steal his girl away.”
I got choked up thinking about my childhood. There were a million stories just like Valentines that I could tell, but I wasn’t ready to share them. Not yet.
“What about you?” I asked, deflecting. “It must have been amazing to grow up in a home like Sunford Manor.”
Alex sighed, but he didn’t look nostalgic about recounting his history, not like I’d been.
“My upbringing was very different to yours, I’m afraid. Yes, we had money, but as we both know, money isn’t everything. It can’t buy you happiness. My mother wasn’t very maternal. Don’t get me wrong, she loved me, but she didn’t really show it through affection. And my father was too in love with my mother to have room for anyone else. He could be a harsh and cruel man, but not to her. Never to her. He treated her like a queen. It was quite fitting that they died together. I don’t think they’d have survived without each other.”
He paused to sip his drink, then added, “I was sent away to boarding school as soon as I was old enough. I spent more time with strangers than I ever did with my parents. But they created me. I suppose I should be grateful for that.”
It was heartbreaking to hear him talk about his past in such a detached way. Like it was something he just had to get through. There was no love, no affection. It was the polar opposite of my childhood.
“You have so many beautiful paintings of your mother’s to remember her by, though,” I said, trying to be positive.
“She loved painting. She never painted me, though. Her passions lay elsewhere.”
He didn’t think she thought about him. And from the pensive look on his face, that still affected him.
“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about the past,” I ventured, not wanting to taint the magical mood of the evening.
“You’re right,” he mused. “The future is more appealing.”
The hint of a boyish smile graced his handsome face as he stared at me in the subtle light of the space we were sitting, the golden glow making him look even more striking. Butterflies fluttered inside me, and I dipped my gaze, feeling the intensity of the moment.
“You said you wanted to get to know me after that first night,” I asked. “But why? There were a lot of beautiful women at that event.”
Alex shook his head and give a wry smile as if he disagreed.
“You’re a beautiful woman too, Emma,” he replied, as I peered up and got lost in his mesmerising stare once again. “To me, you were the most beautiful one there that night. And I don’t make it a habit of getting to know new people. I like to keep my circle tight. But with you, I had to make an exception.”
“I’d heard you were an exclusive group.”
“From Lloyd,” he scoffed. “The biggest ass kisser I’ve ever met, aside from your old boss, that is.”
I couldn’t disagree with that.
“Do you know he calls you three the trio?” I asked.
“Fucking hate that he does that. And he’s the only one.”
“I think he wants in on that trio,” I joked.
“When hell freezes over,” Alex replied. “I’ve known Tobey and Ethan since boarding school. I’d trust them both with my life. You can’t say that about many people these days. At least, I can’t. Not in my position.”
“But you trust me?”
“I trust you.” His eyes mellowed. “You carried yourself with dignity that night, even when Lloyd was condescending towards you. You spoke honestly and freely, and you didn’t care what people thought. Then I had to watch you walk away, and when Lloyd left you alone...”
“You invited me to be with you to watch the performance. I remember.”
“Because nobody should be alone for something like that, especially not you. You’re a breath of fresh air, Emma. You don’t kiss ass, and I like that.”
“I never have. Maybe that’s my problem. I stayed in the same job for four years without a shred of hope of moving on. Meanwhile, others around me, that did kiss ass, did better.”
“You did the right thing, leaving. And when you’re ready for your next challenge, I can point you in the direction of the right people. Like I said, I have a lot of doors available.”
We chatted some more about our likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams, and then another slow song came on, and Alex held his hand out to me.
“Will you dance with me?”
I glanced around at the twinkling lights in the trees above us and the darkness beyond it. “What, here?”
“Yes, here.” He laughed. “It’d ruin the mood if I had to drive us across town to a dance floor.” He leaned closer. “Stop overthinking and let go. No one else is here. Just me. And we might look ridiculous, but who cares.”
He was right.
Why hold back?
I wanted to let go with him.
I stood and let him lead me off the blanket to the grass, and he put his arms around me, swaying us both to the music. It felt so right, being in his arms like this, feeling the warmth of his body against mine. I had my arms wrapped around his shoulders, and as my fingers grazed his neck, he sighed.
“I like this,” he said quietly. “It feels right. You feel right.”
I knew what this was leading to, and I had to ask, “It feels strange being relaxed like this when everything has been so messed up. Is our timing off?”
“Not at all. I think our timing is perfect. This is happening right when we need it.” He pulled away to look down at me as he continued to hold me. “Life can be simple. We can make it simple. We just need to make the right choices, for us.” And then he leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine. “And this is the right choice. I know it is.”
He cupped my face in his hands, and then, the ghost of his lips on mine turned into a proper kiss, a toe-curling kiss. His perfect, soft lips caressed and teased me until I fell headfirst, opening my mouth to him. Our tongues tangled and teased as we tasted each other. My body grew needy as his hands threaded through my hair, pulling me closer and deeper into his kiss. As caressing turned more frantic and greedy, I fisted his hair, too, wanting more.
We stood under the fairy lights and the stars in the night sky, igniting something which had been sparking between us ever since we’d met.
I could’ve kissed this man forever.
It felt like his kiss was hypnotising me. Pulling me into a magical world where nothing else mattered, only him. The rest of the world fell away as we held onto each other, devouring each other. But I wanted more. Wetness pooled between my thighs as we kissed. Promises of what came next teasing me until all I could think about was getting home, letting him take me to bed, feeling him inside me, driving me wild. I wanted it all.
Eventually, he pulled away slightly, and with his face close to mine, he whispered, “Your lips are so soft. Soft and gentle, just like your heart.”
“Promise you’ll take care of them,” I whispered back, and he sighed as he closed his eyes for a beat, and the flicker of a solemn smile graced his beautiful lips.
“I’ll guard them with my life.”
He leaned forward again to kiss me, slowly. A true kiss that showed he meant what he said, then he pulled away to look down at me.
“It’s getting late. We should head home.”
I wasn’t going to disagree.
I glanced at the blanket with the food wrappers and glasses, and he read my mind as he said, “Don’t worry about all this. I have staff on-call, ready to come and pack it all away and leave the park tidy. Come on.”
He held my hand, threading his fingers through mine as he led me back through the park.
“It must be nice to have people at your beck and call,” I mused as we strolled in the moonlight.
“It’s nicer to have someone by my side,” he replied and as he glanced to the side, at me, the last brick in my wall crumbled away.
When we got to the car, he kissed me gently before opening my door. Then he got in the car and smiled across at me as the engine roared to life.
We drove home listening to his playlist as we both grinned to ourselves and made small talk. And when we pulled up outside the manor, I didn’t wait for him to open my door, I got out and went to him, holding his hand as he led me up the steps to the front door.
Once inside, he kept hold of my hand as we walked up the staircase and down the corridor to my room.
Or were we heading to his room?
I really didn’t care at this point. I just wanted to be with him.
When we got to my door, he stopped and took my face in his hands.
“Tonight has been... amazing,” he said, leaning forward to kiss me. It was a slow and sexy kiss, his tongue stroking mine as he tasted me.
But then he pulled away.
“Goodnight, Emma.”
He kissed my forehead, then let go of me and took a step back.
My racing, hopeful heart gave a painful twist as he turned and walked away.
He wasn’t going to take this further.
Did I need to speak up?
To be the one to say, ‘Stop, Alex, I want this’.
Maybe I was, but when I opened my mouth, I couldn’t bring myself to utter a sound. I watched him walk to his door, open it, and disappear inside, and the words I wanted to say stayed in my heart and went unspoken.