Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Natasha
When the wedding day comes to an end, I know it’s time for me and Maksim to have our wedding night. I’m not sure what he’s expecting. Will he want to have sex? We’re strangers. I can only hope not but I will do my duty if I have to. I know my father will want me to do that.
I’m shaking as Maksim and I leave the ballroom and head up to the highest floor of the hotel. The VIP suite.
“It’s beautiful,” I whisper after stepping inside. And it is. Soft white and red decorations. It looks like something out of a magazine. This would be a wonderful place to have a wedding night… if I loved my husband.
But instead, all I feel is a coldness towards him. I can still smell the alcohol coming off Maksim. After I danced with my dad, Maksim didn’t talk to me the rest of the party.
“It is,” Maksim replies in a clipped tone. We both stand awkwardly in the room, neither one of us knowing what to do.
I stare at the bed for a long moment, bracing myself. This is my duty. My father told me that when we danced together. I have to do this.
With a quick inhale of breath, I lay down on the bed.
Maksim stands over me with a frown. Intimidating and strong. My heart rate spikes, making me feel woozy. I’m not sure I can do this.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“It’s our wedding night.”
“And?”
This time, I’m the one who frowns. “And… it’s expected we… My father said this was my duty so I’m willing to do… it.”
“It?”
“You know,” I whisper, my face on fire.
“You mean have sex.”
A rough breath leaves me. “Yes.”
“You want to have sex?” He sounds incredulous. Is he that disgusted by me?
I roll onto my side, away from him, and squeeze my eyes shut to keep myself from crying. “I know you didn’t want this marriage. But you don’t have to be so mean.”
Maksim is quite for a long moment. A heavy weight settles over the room. “I wasn’t trying to be mean. I was just shocked that you would want to have sex. I mean, we barely know each other. I figured you wouldn’t want to.”
“So… it’s not because you find me repulsive?”
“No,” he says with a sharp laugh. “I think you’re beautiful.”
That makes me glance over at him. “Really?”
“Yes. Has no one told you that before?”
“My father never has. And he kept me away from a lot of other people. I thought maybe…”
“I don’t find you ugly, Natasha. You just seemed so afraid of me or upset because of me that you wouldn’t want to have sex. But if you want to… I mean, I’d be willing. I’m always down to fuck.”
His words make my face turn to fire which only makes him chuckle.
“You’re innocent,” he murmurs. “Usually the women I’ve been with in the past haven’t been.”
“How many women have you been with?”
“I’m not sure you want me to answer that.”
I duck my chin and keep my eyes glued to my lap. “Right. It’s just… my father expects me to do my duty. We have to do this.”
“We don’t have to have sex if you’re terrified. How will he know?”
“He’ll know. He… expects to see the sheet.”
Maksim stares at me with wide eyes. “What?”
“You know… the blood,” I whisper. “He expects to see it on the sheet so he knows we… He wants to make sure this peace treaty goes through and that means we have to have… sex.”
“Your father is… an intense man.” He says it like he’s trying to be careful with his words. “You know, my sister told me that you were afraid of your dad. Is that true?”
I have to look away from him. “How would your sister know that?”
“She’s observant. And she told me you looked afraid of him. Are you?”
“No,” I whisper. I can’t tell Maksim the truth: that I’ve always suspected he killed my mom. But I have no proof. I can’t just through these accusations around. Even though Maksim is my husband now, I have to be careful with him. I can’t do anything to upset my father.
“You don’t seem like it.”
“I’m not afraid,” I snap. “Now, let’s just get this over with. Isn’t that what you said?”
He flinches slightly. “I did say that at the altar and I’m guessing I shouldn’t have. But you don’t want this marriage either. We could bond over that. Why does it feel like I can’t say the right thing with you?”
“This isn’t what I wanted. I didn’t want a husband who clearly wants nothing to do with me. It hurts.”
“I… I didn’t realize.” He lets out a sharp breath. “I shouldn’t have shown up to our wedding drunk. I’ll admit to that. And I’m sorry. I don’t want to hate the woman who I’m married to but I never wanted this and I’m not going to pretend that I did. I’ll be honest with you.”
“Your honesty hurts.”
“I’m sorry for that too. I feel like I’m going to have to apologize for a lot in our marriage, huh?” He gives me a cheeky grin that makes my own lips quirk up. “So, you can smile.”
Instantly, my smile disappears.
“Sorry,” he mutters again.
None of this is going right. Maksim and I are just too different. We want different things. I’m not sure we’ll ever get on the same page. I know it’s just the first day we’ve met but everything feels hopeless.
“We shouldn’t keep stalling,” I say. “Let’s get this over with.”
“You sound miserable. I don’t want to have sex with a woman who clearly doesn’t want it. We’re not going to have sex tonight, Natasha.”
I sit up so fast, my head becomes woozy. “But my dad…”
“I have an idea.” And right before my eyes, he takes his jacket off and rolls up the sleeve of his shirt, exposing his forearm. And I have to admit, he has incredibly nice forearms. Maksim is a handsome man. It almost makes me more upset that we’re so different.
He bends down and lifts his pant leg, exposing a small knife he has attached to his ankle. “In case of emergencies. You can never be too careful. It’s a dangerous world out there.”
It’s dangerous in here, I think.
“Are you going to hurt me?” I whisper.
He pauses. “No. I’m not going to use this knife on you.” After grabbing the knife, he brings it to his forearm and cuts his skin. I gasp. It’s a small cut. Not deep. But enough for blood to trickle out.
Maksim holds his arm out over the bed and lets his blood drip onto the sheet. “There. Blood. Your father will think it’s yours. Problem solved.”
I watch him as he goes into the bathroom and wraps his arm with gauze. Why did Maksim do this for me? He willingly cut himself so I wouldn’t have to give my body over to him.
Maybe there’s a nice side to him.
I force myself to join him in the bathroom. “Thank you.”
“Isn’t this what husbands do?” His smile is sweet and nice and makes my stomach flutter.
He really is distractingly handsome. “Besides, I didn’t want to put us both through an uncomfortable situation neither one of us wanted.
This was just easier. I’ve been cut many times before. This is nothing to me.”
“I’m still worried my dad will find out. He’s good at reading me.”
“Then it’s a good thing you’ll be living with me from now on and won’t have to be around him as much.”
“I thought you weren’t happy about this marriage.”
“I’m not,” he admits. “But just like you: I know what’s my duty. And I have to do this to make my own father proud. We don’t have to be enemies, Natasha. Honestly, all of this would be so much easier if we try to get along.”
“This is all so new for me. I’m not used to dealing with men. Or… people in general.”
“I may be a Bratva man but I’m not scary. I’m good at charming women. Let me charm you.”
“I…” A part of me likes the sound of that.
Not having to be afraid of the man I’m married to would be wonderful.
But I still don’t fully trust Maksim. Not after he came to our wedding drunk.
Not after he made me feel bad saying our vows.
He doesn’t want this marriage and I’m not sure he ever will.
Even if he grows to like me, will he ever be truly happy?
Will I be truly happy?
“Maybe we should just go to bed,” he offers. “It’s been a long day. I’m tired.”
“Ok.”
He nods at our suitcases. “You can change. I won’t touch you.”
I practically run to my suitcase and grab a pair of pajama pants and a top. Something simple and cozy.
Maksim gives me the bathroom so I can change in peace. At least he isn’t trying to force me to change in front of him.
But I quickly realize just how hard my wedding dress is to take off by myself. Courtesy of my father who chose this one.
Having no other choice, I open the door and call out to Maksim… only to find him gone.
Where did he go?
It’s then that I see a notepad on the side table that reads he went out to give me some space. It sounds nice in theory but… he left me. On our wedding night.
All I can do is slump to the floor in a big, poofy dress and cry.
Maksim
I had to get out of there. With how pretty Natasha looked but also how scared she was, I couldn’t take it. Her father clearly made her this way. Afraid and skittish. It’s not what I want in a wife. I don’t know how to act around her.
I’m sure she’ll appreciate having some alone time so I’m giving it to her. As for me, I’m going to find a bar and nurse another drink. As long as Lev doesn’t find out, no harm no foul.
I know I shouldn’t be going for another beer but I just need time to compose myself. Natasha is making me feel strange things and I don’t know how to process it all.
I go down to the hotel bar and after seeing that Lev nor my father are here, I settle in at the bar and order another drink. Natasha will go to bed and then I’ll return to her and try to sleep myself. But there’s no way I can stay in that room and look at her pretty face and not want her.
I could have easily fucked her. Shown her pleasure. But she was obviously scared and I don’t want that in a woman. I don’t want any of this.
I practically down the entire beer I’m given. Just to take the edge off.
That is… until I hear my father’s voice behind me. “Maksim. What the hell are you doing here?”
I turn around to see him and Lev both glaring at me. Fuck.
“You should be with my daughter right now,” Lev snarls. “Not at the bar getting drunk. Well, more drunk than you were.”
“Return to your wife. Right now,” my dad threatens.
“Of course,” I say, not putting up a fight. “My apologies.” It seems I’m going to be apologizing for the rest of my life.
“And Maksim,” my dad calls out. “After tonight, you’re going on a honeymoon with Natasha. To Greece.”
“Don’t make me regret this alliance,” Lev warns.
Fuck. None of this is going right.