Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Ryder
M y head was hammering when I woke up, and my mouth was dry as fuck. I grabbed the half-empty beer off the bedside table to swig it, choking on it and almost throwing up as the taste of cigarette ash hit my tongue.
I forgot I’d used it as an ashtray.
Dragging myself out of the bedroom, I found Tempest curled up on the floor right by the door. I wasn’t about to wake her up when she was so damn quiet, so I stepped over her and went into the kitchen for a drink of water.
Tempest had apparently trashed the place last night after I’d gone to bed too.
My hands were shaky, and I scowled when I almost dropped my damn phone as I checked it. The battery was almost dead since I’d left it in the kitchen all night.
I frowned at the time on the screen, realizing I’d slept in.
Apparently, it was almost ten in the morning. On Tuesday.
Didn’t Marco say it was Sunday when he was here? Had we slept for almost two days?
I put my phone back down and found my cigarettes, lighting one and flicking the ash in the sink as I smoked. I needed a fix of some kind to stop the shakes, it was driving me insane.
I heard Tempest throw up, and I sighed, moving back in the direction I’d seen her last.
“You okay?”
She wasn’t on the floor, and relief filled me when I found her hunched over the toilet and not ruining the carpet.
“I’m dying,” she said as she gagged, her skin clammy and her hair tangled on top of her head.
I grabbed a hair tie and tied it up for her so she didn’t get vomit all through it, resting my hip against the sink to watch her. “We slept for almost two days.”
“No wonder I feel sick. I’m sober,” she joked, sitting back with a wince. “Do we have anything left?”
“Maybe some weed, but that’s it.”
“Call Channing to do another drop off.”
“He told us the last lot was meant to last until Thursday,” I reminded her, and she scowled.
“Don’t worry about it, I’ll ask.”
“Suit yourself, but he won’t show up like Santa,” I deadpanned, flicking ash on the floor and groaning as I heard Jett’s car pull up outside. “I don’t need this bullshit today.” Multiple car doors closed, and I frowned, leaving Tempest to die in the bathroom while I headed to the front door, emotions hitting me as I found myself face-to-face with Beckett. “Beck?”
“Hey, Ry,” she said with a small smile, studying me for a second before stepping closer to hug me. I instinctively jerked back, but I found myself almost craving the hug, leaning into her and letting her tighten her arms around me. “What did you do to yourself?”
The familiar pang of shame and embarrassment hit me, especially when I glanced over her shoulder and found Maddox and Jett standing behind her.
They were all judging me, it was all my family did.
“Can we come in?” Beckett asked gently, and I almost said no. I didn’t want her here, seeing me like this. My comedown days were the worst, and since today seemed to be a self-aware kind of day, I knew I’d end up fighting with her.
Maddox moved closer and raised his knuckles for me to bump, clapping me on the shoulder as Beckett slipped inside. “Hey, bro.”
“Hey. No charges?” I managed to ask, a smirk tugging at his lips.
“Nah. There was a thief in the night, so I heard.”
I chuckled lightly, letting him inside and almost getting knocked over by Jett as he hugged me so tightly that I thought he was trying to fix all my problems with it. “Weird way to propose, but okay.”
“We’ll save the celebratory kiss for when you’ve showered and brushed your teeth. You stink,” he teased, ruffling my hair as he stepped back. “You should’ve called. I’ve texted you three times this week alone, dude.”
He had? I hadn’t really checked.
We walked inside, and I hated how they looked at the mess with worry, just like Marco had done.
“It was clean until Tempest threw a tantrum yesterday. Wait, on Sunday. We slept through yesterday,” I said out loud as I tried to remember, and Beckett frowned at me.
“Marco said he cleaned up.”
“He did. Then Tempest had a tantrum,” I repeated as if she hadn’t heard me.
“Where is she?” Maddox asked just as Tempest heaved again from the bathroom.
“Temporarily regretting her life choices,” I said dryly, hearing the toilet flush.
Tempest appeared in the doorway, looking like death warmed up. “I need coffee.”
“On it,” I answered with an amused smile as she wandered into the kitchen and sat at the table, resting her arms on it like a pillow for her head as she closed her eyes.
The flashy coffee machine was her pride and joy. As much as I’d given her shit for spending the money on it when we were rationed, I had to admit that it made good coffee.
Beckett and the guys watched me make her what I hoped was a good latte, then I placed it in front of her and ran my fingers through her tangled hair that was still in the messy ponytail I’d put it in.
“Hey, drink that and have a shower. You’ll feel better.”
“‘Kay,” she groaned, sitting up to sip the coffee, and since she didn’t throw it, I assumed I’d made it right.
I left her at the table to wake up properly, motioning for the others to join me in the living room, where they sat on the couch, and I sat on the floor in front of the coffee table opposite them, lighting a cigarette and tossing the packet on the table.
Jett moved to sit on the floor with me, a big grin on his face. “Are you ever going to come out of the house again? The only time I’ve seen you recently is when a sex tape leaks.”
“The only new sex tapes are ones people have to pay for,” I said with a snort, flicking my eyes at Beckett before looking at him again. “Did you subscribe to mine or Tempest’s Onlyfans?”
“That’s not a joke?” Maddox chuckled, eyeing me. “You’re really doing porn?”
“Tempest has a promising career in choking on dick. As her boyfriend, it’s only fair I support her and help where I can. Which means I had to make an account to verify shit since I’m in her videos,” I smirked, making him laugh.
I caught them up on everything we’d been doing, not giving a shit when Beckett faked a gag. I had to put up with her and Maddox banging while the world accused them of incest, so the least she could do was tolerate the conversation.
Offering to show either of the guys would earn all three of us a stab wound from Beckett, so I didn’t risk it.
I missed being able to share things like that with both the guys, they’d been my best friends for so long, and now I had to worry about upsetting Beckett for showing them a random nude on the internet.
Beckett and Maddox filled me in on their trip to jail, and Tempest padded in to steal a cigarette, dropping down onto my lap when I held out an arm for her.
She got comfortable, and I noticed Beckett studying us. My sister would probably never get along with Tempest, too much had happened since we hit high school, but she wasn’t picking a fight with her, which was a good start.
“I’m surprised either of you settled down,” she finally stated, and Tempest scoffed, staring at her in challenge.
“We didn’t. We still fuck other people.”
That annoyed Beckett as if it was all Tempest’s idea, her eyes sliding to mine, and I shrugged. “It works. Who gives a shit. You wanted to fuck two people, and we didn’t want limitations.”
Maddox seemed to understand, nodding as he leaned back on the couch and put an arm up for Beckett to curl into his side. “It suits you guys. I get it, I like watching Jett fuck Beckett. It’s hot.”
“Ew, dude,” I groaned, and he grinned.
“Sorry. I forgot she’s your sister.”
“You also forgot somewhere in the past year that she’s your sister too, apparently.”
He flipped me off, and Beckett scowled, but Jett laughed, taking my side. “Trust me, I don’t let him forget about it.”
Things felt normal just laughing with my best friend, Beckett, and Maddox, and it was nice when Tempest even managed to talk to Beckett without threats being made.
It helped that she only stuck around for a cigarette before wandering off to shower, but that was beside the point.
Once she was gone, Beckett sighed. “I love you, Ry. But you stink. Go shower too, we can wait.”
I raised an eyebrow, tilting my head slightly. “You want me to go and shower with her? You’ll be waiting for us for hours.”
“Ugh, I preferred it when you hated each other,” she grumbled.
“I never hated her,” I mumbled. “I hated that I didn’t.”
“I heard about you and Raven,” she said lightly, warning flashing in her eyes as her voice dropped. “Don’t fuck with her. She’s already got three assholes in her life, she doesn’t need a fourth.”
“She needs someone with a cock to take her virginity. She doesn’t seem that fussy about who does it at this point, so why can’t it be me? I’m good in bed.”
“You’re also too rough for her. When you’re sober, sure, maybe you could tone it down and not make it all about you, but I’ve heard a lot of stories from when you’re not sober. You’re selfish and suck at boundaries. Most girls know that about you when they jump in your bed, but Raven? She doesn’t know what she’d be in for. All you’d do is hurt her by accident, or start a war with the guys. It’s not worth it.”
“Pussy is always worth it. Right, Maddox? I mean, Skeet almost fucking shot you for dicking Beck,” I said bitterly, still annoyed that they’d kept it a secret from me.
“Right,” he answered, not bothering to argue. “We heard you had some good races at the track a few weeks ago. I’m sorry we missed it.”
“I was glad you did. Jett beat me all three times, and you would’ve kept me away from Raven,” I teased, letting Jett start rambling about the entire race with excitement.
I thought he would’ve told them, but apparently not.
I’d missed this.
Tempest
I had the world’s longest shower, trying to avoid returning to the living room while Ryder’s family was here.
I’d just smothered myself in moisturizer when Ryder walked into the bathroom with a raised eyebrow. “It’s okay, they’ve gone.”
“I just figured you’d want to spend time alone with them, and I’d only end up picking a fight with Beckett. I texted Mase. He told us to film him some anal cream pies,” I giggled, making him huff.
“Is the prick paying for it?”
“C’mon, Ry. It’s Mase.”
“If he wants a cream pie in your ass, then he can come and give you one himself,” he joked, stripping naked and stepping around me to get in the shower. “And then I’ll charge him for touching you.”
“Good sex is free, it’s the creepy old dudes that would have to pay,” I pointed out, a sigh leaving him as he started washing his hair.
“That’s a bad business plan, baby. I’ll allow Mase and his boys, but that’s it.”
“You don’t get a say in it. Will you charge girls to fuck you?” I challenged.
“Considering I haven't touched anyone else since the hotel, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”
“That’s because we haven’t left the house for you to find someone. Next party, you’ll be balls deep in someone barely legal.”
He glanced at me, lathering his hair with shampoo. “Are you getting jealous, baby?”
“What? No. I just think if I have to charge, then you do too,” I growled, crossing my arms over my naked chest as if to punish him by cutting off the goods. “Anyway, Mase said they don’t have anything for us until tomorrow, so we’re on our own today.”
“I bet he’s lying to you, and Channing just told him no.”
“Mase wouldn’t lie to me.”
“Yeah, he would. He does what Channing says, and Channing says to lie to you regularly,” he said dryly, rinsing his hair and grabbing a cloth to scrub himself. “Mase is a pushover, which is why he’s not right for you and I am.”
I watched him as he washed himself, deep in thought. “I could never love Mase, and I’ve told him that from the beginning.” He slowed the cloth as he scrubbed his arms, his eyes lifting to mine. “But you? If I could love anyone while still being myself, it would be you. You get me, and I’ll always get you. We can fuck everyone on planet earth, and I guarantee neither of us would find someone who just fits like we do for each other.”
“Love’s bullshit, remember?” he answered, reminding me of my usual outlook about the subject.
“It is, but your bullshit is almost endearing,” I smiled, grabbing a towel for him. “Since we can’t buy much today, how about we go to the track for our rush? Gets us out of the house.”
“So Riley can beat you up again? Pass.” He turned off the water and stepped out, accepting the towel to wrap around himself. “Maybe I want to go to Wet Dreams?”
“If either of us step foot in there, Mom will only kick us out. Beckett’s back, so surely Riley won’t start fights if she’s even there.”
“Now that Beckett’s out, she’ll just help her. Neither of them like you, remember?” he said flatly, rubbing himself dry. “Maybe if you just stay in the car with me, we’ll be fine.”
“I can do that, but if you keep racing, I’ll get out. I get bored.”
“I’m aware.” His gaze raked over my naked body, stopping on his name as always. It had healed but looked so obvious against my pale skin. “I love my mark on you.”
“I’m aware,” I mocked, moving closer to thread my arms around his neck. “I also know you love staring at it when you fuck me.”
“You really want to go to the track?” he asked, leaning down to bite my lip.
“We’ll only lie around the house bored if we don’t.”
“Fine. No bringing anyone home though. I want to play with the knife again tonight.”
His worries about hurting me had faded a lot since he’d been back on the drugs, thankfully. I loved it when he got rough with me.
“You do?”
“Yeah. I was thinking maybe you’d want to put your name on me,” he suggested, holding my gaze to wait for a reaction.
“Is this how messed up people like us confess our feelings now? We cut each other up?”
“Yeah, baby. I want scars to match yours. I made you bleed, so I think it’s only fair,” he murmured, lifting a hand to cup my cheek. “You and me against the world, remember?”
“It’s always just been you and me,” I whispered, kissing him and knowing nothing could tear us apart.
We were stronger together, and the world would burn before I let him go.
We raced twice before Ryder agreed to park somewhere and hang out. The rush wasn’t enough, I needed more, but no one here would sell to us.
This was Psychos and Devils’ territory, so selling to us would get someone killed.
Riley was here, but she stuck with Beckett and must have been told to behave since she didn’t say a word to me, but that didn’t stop her from glaring at me.
Ryder got sucked into a conversation with Jett and Logan about car stuff that I didn’t understand, and since Riley was obviously on a leash, I wandered off to find a beer.
I wasn’t alone for long before fingers wrapped around my throat from behind and hauled me back against a solid chest. “What are you doing wandering around alone? Anything could happen.”
“Chan?” I asked as I turned, finding him alone behind me. “What are you doing here?”
“None of your business.”
“If that’s code for selling drugs, the Donovans will slaughter you.”
“I don’t need Ashburn Valley brats lining my pockets, plenty of junkies elsewhere,” he chuckled, drawing me closer by the throat and squeezing. “You’re going to do me a favor.”
“I am? Alright, but make it quick,” I answered, reaching for his pants and making him snort.
“Not me. Wolfe.”
“You know he doesn’t particularly like me, right? If he wants to get laid, I doubt he’d pick me first. He just fucks me for convenience when you and Mase do,” I said dryly, his fingers leaving me so he could slide his phone from his pocket to text. A response came through soon after, and he showed me.
Channing: Found Tempest by the bathroom. Will she do?
Wolfe: Be there in a second.
“What—” I started but Channing didn’t let me finish.
“You like being treated like shit, and Wolfe’s in a mood. You’re exactly what he needs. Anyone else would hit him with assault charges,” he cut in, my eyes narrowing.
“I’m dating Ry, you know? If you’re going to borrow me, the least you can do is pay.”
“You think your pussy’s good enough?” he chuckled, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a hundred dollar bill. “You let him take his mood out on you, thank him for it, then leave. Got it?”
“For a hundred bucks, I’ll throw in a blow job for you, big spender,” I deadpanned, snatching the money. “Where’s Mase?”
“Busy. Leave him alone, Tempest. I mean it. What you two had is over. You’re charging now, remember? Mase liked you because you were easy. Adding a price kind of ruins that. Easy means free.”
Wolfe appeared from the shadows, not even speaking to me as he grabbed my bicep and hauled me into the bathroom. He shut us in a cubicle and shoved my chest against the wall, lifting the back of my skirt.
Wolfe wasn’t usually the type to talk much when we fucked, but he was even more quiet than usual.
“Are you okay?” I asked and tried to turn around, but he pressed against me, making me cry out as he pushed my panties aside and forced himself inside my pussy.
“Keep your mouth shut unless my cock’s in it.”
Being sober and not having time to warm up meant it fucking hurt, and I had to bite my lip to try and stop myself from crying. He fucked me hard and fast, his fingers bruising my waist as he slammed into me, and I was about to tap out when he finished and pulled away from me like I had the plague.
He didn’t say anything before fixing his pants and storming out, leaving me to clean myself up as usual.
I locked the cubicle and sat on the toilet, noticing blood mixed in with his cum. I had to start carrying lube or something.
“Temp?” Ryder called out as he walked into the bathroom, apparently noticing me missing. “You in here?”
“Yeah. Give me a second,” I replied, flushing and fixing my skirt before stepping out. He frowned, running his gaze over me.
“Who were you fucking?”
“Wolfe’s in a mood,” I said dryly, pulling the bill that Channing had given me from my bra and handed it to him. “Channing says thanks for the loan.”
He took it, frowning even more. “The guys are here?”
“Chan and Wolfe are. I didn’t see Mase,” I answered, fixing my hair in the mirror. “Can we leave?”
I couldn’t explain it, but I felt dirty. I hadn’t come here chasing sex or a way to ride out a high, so that had felt wrong. I’d fucked Wolfe more times in the past than I could count, but I wasn’t trying to numb my emotions or drown my demons in dick.
It felt weird without Ryder there as if I’d done the wrong thing.
“Yeah, we can go,” he said slowly, taking my hand as we walked out.
He didn’t say much until we got home, his eyes narrowing when I stripped naked to rinse off in the shower and he noticed some blood in my panties.
“Don’t,” I said quietly, obvious alarm on his face.
“What the fuck did he do?”
“He needed a release.”
“That sounds like his problem. Did you get to come?”
I shook my head, a curse leaving him when I started sobbing out of nowhere.
Why was I crying? Ryder got me off plenty, so one missed opportunity wasn’t exactly something to cry about.
“I didn’t like it.”
Admitting that felt ridiculous. I got what I’d signed up for.
“If I have to go and kick his ass, I will. What the hell happened?” he demanded, holding my face in his hands so I couldn’t look away.
“He wasn’t you and it was painful,” I whispered, confusion filling his eyes as I spoke again. “I feel dirty.”
A small smile tugged at his lips, and he pulled me against his chest. “Aw, baby. I finally fucked the slut out of you. You’re feeling guilty for cheating on me.”
“No, I’m not,” I said defensively, but it was weak.
“Shower, and I’ll kiss it better. I can’t believe I cured you,” he teased, laughing as I swatted at him, fighting a smile of my own.
“Be serious!”
“I am. Maybe we change the rules so we can only fuck other people if we’re both there?” he suggested, making me pause.
“You’d be into that?”
“I don’t care. I don’t really fuck anyone else now unless we’re at a drug-induced orgy party anyway,” he shrugged. “Now, shower. Wash the manwhore off you so I can cover you in boyfriend germs instead.”
He was ridiculous sometimes and I loved it.
I quickly rinsed off, and he wrapped me in a towel, making me laugh as he tossed me over his shoulder to carry me into the bedroom, dropping me onto my back and not caring about the bed getting wet.
“Ry—”
“Shut up and let me kiss it better,” he chuckled, moving the towel off me so he could kiss up my thighs and across the letters he’d carved into me, his breath fanning across my damp core.
He took his time, getting me off twice without picking up the pace, then he surprised me as he climbed from the bed and grabbed his knife.
“Can you handle my cock right now?” he asked, lying on his back and offering it to me. “Get on top and put your name on my chest.”
“I don’t know?—”
“I just want to be inside you, you don’t have to do anything other than sit on it and mark me,” he promised, stripping his pants off before removing his shirt and patting his thigh.
I hesitated but did as he asked, straddling him and wincing as I lowered myself onto his dick. It wasn’t too bad once he was in, and he dropped his arms by his sides, letting me put my name wherever I wanted.
I wanted to put it right across his whole chest but decided a smaller version on his pec would suffice, flicking my eyes to his. “You sure?”
“Yeah, baby.” His dick flexed inside me as I leaned forward and pressed the tip of the knife to his chest, his jaw clenching as I started carving into him. “Fuck.”
His dick hardened more somehow, and I became more confident when I realized how into it he was, his blood dripping down his side and onto the bed below.
By the time I finished the last letter, he was squirming, my eyes going wide when I felt him pulsing inside me. “Did you just fucking come?”
“Definitely,” he groaned, his hands going to my hips to pull me forward and backward slightly. “Feeling you clenching around me while carving your name into my chest is kind of hot.”
“Maybe I should cut you more often?”
“I might be into that more than I thought.”
I eyed my name on his pec, the blood droplets continuing to drip and mess up the sheets, but we didn’t care.
I was carved into his skin as he was on mine.
We had a twisted kind of love, my heart beating faster at the realization that this was more than sex or a connection. We’d said it differently than other people until now with long nights awake talking and a bloodied knife, but it was still love.
“I love you,” I said quietly, hurt moving through me as he sat up. I thought he was going to push me off his lap and leave, but he wrapped his arms around me and tugged me closer, the blood on his chest smearing against mine.
“I love you too, baby.”
Then he kissed me, erasing any doubt that lingered below the surface.