Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Ryder
I was agitated. Channing wasn’t able to bring me anything to take the edge off, my arm was aching, and Tempest was driving me insane for some reason today.
We’d had a good night last night, fucking and watching movies together, but this morning all I felt was frustration and irritation.
Apparently, so was she because we kept snapping at each other.
Fucking didn’t fix it. Silence made my head feel too loud, but noise made my head want to explode.
The house was still a mess from her tantrum on Sunday night, and it was now Wednesday.
“I told you to clean up,” I grunted, tapping the couch with my foot to jolt her a little. She’d been lying around on her phone for hours, acting like a bitch.
“You clean it if it’s bothering you,” she answered flatly without looking up, texting away without a care in the fucking world.
“It’s not my mess, Temp.”
“So? I’ll get to it later. Stop nagging me.”
I scowled, walking behind the couch to grab the bottom and tip her out of it, making her shriek as she tumbled to the floor. “Get the fuck up.”
“Why are you such an asshole?” she bit out as she stood to glare at me. “You only get like this when you’re fucking sober. I prefer you when you’re fun.”
“That’s the thing, Temp. Being high isn’t the issue, it’s the comedown. Trust me, I prefer you when I’m high too.”
She flipped me off and stalked into the bathroom, locking herself inside, and I rolled my eyes as the shower kicked on. She couldn’t avoid it forever, she was cleaning this shit up either by choice or by force.
I dropped onto the couch and grabbed my phone from the coffee table, pulling up Channing’s number to text him.
Ryder: Can you come any sooner? This bitch is driving me insane, and I’m going to kill her.
Channing: Think about it. If she’s dead, you only need to buy half the amount and save some money.
Ryder: Not funny. I might literally kill her, dude. At least let Mase come and play with her so she leaves me the fuck alone.
He didn’t reply straight away, and just when I thought he wasn’t going to, a message came through.
Channing: Mase could do with a good fuck to get rid of his mood.
Ryder: Tell him to hurry up then. Temp is his rent-a-girlfriend for the day, free of charge.
He sent back laughing emojis which I hoped meant he’d at least send Mason to occupy the brat in the bathroom, and I logged onto Onlyfans to check my account. Tempest definitely had more subscribers than me, but it was growing.
Between us, we could at least pay for shit.
I chuckled because who would’ve thought we’d be making porn for a living, but also, who would’ve thought either of us would actually choose to date? I couldn’t lie, knowing she was bothered last night about fucking Wolfe without me being there made me feel good.
Tempest never gave a fuck about anyone or anything, so for her to feel guilty?
She must really love me.
I walked over to the bathroom door and unlocked it, it wasn’t hard, letting myself in.
“I locked that to keep you out,” she huffed from the shower, her hair tied up on top of her head to keep it dry as she scrubbed her skin.
“You need to lower your expectations then. You really thought you could lock me out? I’m a Donovan, Temp. It’s in our nature to break the rules,” I snorted, leaning back against the door frame to watch her. “I think Mase is coming over to play with you. Be nice to him.”
She shut the water off and stepped out, frowning at me. “What for?”
“You’re annoying me so I told Channing it’s Mase’s shift. Fuck him and drown in his cum for all I care.”
“What if I don’t want to fuck him?”
“In what world is that likely? You always want to fuck him.”
“Yeah, before. I’m with you now, Ry. Didn’t you hear me last night? I didn’t like sleeping with Wolfe.” She moved closer, and I tossed her a towel. “I’m happy to mess around with him, but only if you’re there too.”
“I insist, go for it. I’m hoping Mase plays with you all day so I can go and get some peace for a few hours,” I answered as I turned to walk into the living room, but she just followed me, the towel wrapped around her. “Temp, I mean it. I literally don’t give a shit about him touching you.”
“I care. Why won’t you join us?” she demanded, trying to argue while drying herself.
“Fucking you won’t give me peace and quiet.”
“Why are you being such a prick today? Channing needs to hurry up and get you a fix so you’re tolerable again!” she snapped as she stalked after me. “This is why I put molly in your drink that night! You’re insufferable sober!”
I halted, not sure I’d heard her correctly.
She ran into me, taking a step back as I slowly turned to face her. “What did you just say?”
“You’re insufferable!”
“Not that bit,” I gritted out, grabbing her throat and shoving her hard against the closest wall to stop her from escaping me. “What about the molly?” She swallowed, my fingers tightening and making it harder for her to breathe. When she stayed silent, I leaned down until my nose touched hers, my voice low. “You’re the one who spiked my drink at Channing’s?”
“I fixed you,” she said as best as she could, my hand loosening to let her talk as my heart burned in my chest. “You hated being sober, and you were an asshole to me unless you were high, so I put a pill in your drink. You had so much fun, remember? It’s just been you and me since. No one understands us, Ry.”
I punched the wall beside her head, making her flinch as I jerked back before I could break her goddamn nose.
“Eight fucking months,” I said slowly, glaring at her as I continued to put distance between us. “Eight months of hell, and it was all ruined because of you?”
“Ruined? I helped you! You were miserable and angry all the time. You don’t have to feel like that again!”
“You ruined everything!” I shouted, my back hitting the wall across the room as I stared at her. “You think this is fun? Craving a release when you can’t have one? Turning your family against you? Hurting each other?”
“That’s why we just need to stay high! Everything’s fine when we’re high!” she screamed back, moving towards me. “Why can’t you see I made it better?”
“Better? You destroyed everything I’d been working hard to fix! I did four months in rehab, Tempest. I had to fight every day to keep pushing and stay sober because it was what I wanted. Why the fuck did you think you had the right to take that away from me?”
“I lost you!” She was crying now, panic lining her face as she grabbed the front of my shirt, her towel falling to the floor. “The only person who ever understood me was you! How many nights did we spend together when no one else wanted us?”
“You mean the nights that I had to make sure you didn’t off yourself because you were so drug fucked that you couldn’t think straight? Those nights? I’m glad you found them fun, but they weren’t.”
“No! When we both?—”
“I remember multiple nights where I was so high I fucked you while you were passed out. Watched other guys run a train through you when your eyes were rolling back in your head, and you barely knew your own name. Did you enjoy the days where we’d fight to the point we’d hit each other?” I growled, shoving her back. “Don’t touch me.”
“Ry, don’t. It’ll be fine. Chan will fix it.”
She seriously believed that.
Her eyes filled with hope, and I could see her thinking hard about it. Channing would show up and sell to us, then what? In three day’s time, we’d run out, start to come down, and take it out on each other?
I’d always said Tempest was misunderstood, that only I got her because I knew those same demons. That was bullshit though.
Tempest was a manipulative bitch, pulling the strings like we were her puppets. She drugged my drink because when I was high, I was just as bad as her.
She didn’t give a fuck about me, she only cared about herself.
I should’ve listened when people said she’d destroy me.
“You need to be gone by tomorrow morning,” I said flatly, pushing her back as she tried to grab my shirt again. “Stop it! You put me in a position where I wasn’t thinking clearly. You might not have shoved the powder up my nose or forced the ice pipe into my hand, but this is on you, Tempest. My family fucking hate me. I hit my mom.”
Nausea swirled inside me at the thought, wondering if I’d hurt her. Not physically, my mom could take a hit from monsters bigger than me, but I’d said some awful things to her while being angry about her dragging me away from Tempest and our hotel room of horrors.
That bitch had somehow scrambled my brain into thinking it was just us against everyone else, but in reality, there were no sides to take.
Tempest thought the world was against her, but she was the one fighting the world.
She’d started this, and I’d jumped to her defense like a fucking idiot, tearing apart my family in the process.
“You’re kicking me out?” she asked with a sob, trying to cling to me as I started walking to the bedroom, ignoring her. “Ryder!”
I grabbed her, shoving her away as hard as I could and not giving a fuck as she hit the dresser in the corner. I hoped it fucking hurt.
I started shoving some of my things into a bag as I spoke, snatching one of her bags and tossing it in her direction. “I’m going to go, and when I come back in the morning, you’d better be fucking gone, or so help me, Tempest, I’m going to fucking kill you.”
“You can’t leave me!”
Her hysterics were probably concerning the neighbors, and part of me hoped they called the fucking cops and took her away.
When I didn’t speak, continuing to shove my things into the bag, she surprisingly pulled a large shirt on and went quiet. I should’ve known better when she left the room and stopped fighting me.
I’d just swung my bag over my shoulder and put my phone in my pocket when a loud bang sounded outside that rattled the windows, my feet moving faster. “What the fuck was that?”
She didn’t reply, and my heart sank as I flung open the front door to find my Hellcat ablaze, her manic eyes on me from a few feet away. “You can’t leave me!”
“You fucking psycho bitch,” I snapped, letting my bag drop to the ground as I grabbed her. All I felt was anger, and I didn’t even realize I’d started laying into her until someone yanked me off her.
“Donovan! Stop!” Channing. It sounded like Channing. I swung around with a snarl, surprised to find a gun in my face. “Don’t fucking come at me, man. I’m the one stopping you from getting hauled off to prison.”
Tempest was curled up on the ground, sobbing with a bloodied face and Mason fussing over her, and I snorted. “She’s all yours, Mase. Might want to take her home before you don’t get the chance.”
“Shut up, asshole,” Mason growled, continuing to look over Tempest’s injuries.
“You see my one hundred thousand dollar car on fire, right?”
Sirens sounded from somewhere, but I didn’t care. The car wasn’t salvageable.
“It’s just a car.”
“Did you assholes know she fucked with my drink that night?” I asked sharply as I looked back at Channing, knowing he was the least likely to lie. From the way his eyes narrowed, I knew it was the first he was hearing about it.
“What are you talking about?”
A bitter laugh escaped me, and I raked a hand through my hair. “She’s the one that spiked my drink. All because she was lonely in her self-sabotaged downfall. The first year and a half is the worst when getting sober, you know? I was eight months in, but it felt like a lifetime. She crushed it all because she was fucking bored and needed someone to drown with her.”
Tempest cried harder, my eyes sliding back to her to find Mason backing away from her with confusion on his face. “You drugged his drink?”
“You said he’d be more fun!” she screamed, trying to crawl towards him, but Wolfe moved closer and nudged her side with his foot, sending her back down.
Did Mason know? He’d always given me shit about getting sober.
As if sensing my thoughts, Mason scoffed. “I said he was boring, but I never told you to fuck with him like that. Why’s his car on fire, huh? I suppose that’s my fault too?”
“He was leaving! Now he can’t leave!” She was being ridiculous, and thankfully, the guys all seemed to agree with me because Mason lifted his gaze to mine, apology on his face.
“I’d never let someone do that to anyone. If you’d asked to get high, I wouldn’t have talked you out of it, but without you knowing? No fucking way, man.”
Wolfe chuckled, the sound cruel as he stood over Tempest. “I could ignore the missing bills from my wallet, even that one time you stole a bag of pills from Chan when you thought we wouldn’t notice, but this? We can’t ignore it. You’re a fucking desperate snake who only cares about yourself. You know what we do with people like that, right?”
I’d seen them throw a guy out before for drugging a girl at one of their parties. It wasn’t pretty, and the guy had been banned from future events.
I was pretty sure he left town from all the random beatings people gave him.
A fire truck pulled up and my phone started ringing, Caden’s name on the screen. He probably just watched me beat Tempest on the cameras.
I answered, his voice surprisingly calm. “We’re on the way.”
“No. Just handle the cops and the fire department. I’ll get a ride with Chan and the guys.” I looked at Channing who nodded, relief filling me. “I’ll come home tonight if I’m allowed.”
I heard someone mutter a relieved curse in the background as Caden replied. “Of course you can. You sure you don’t need us?”
“I need to beat up Channing’s boxing bag for a few hours, then I’ll come over and talk. I just need a little longer,” I promised, grateful when he agreed.
“I can pick you up later, okay? Just call when you’re ready. Is Tempest okay?” His tone said he’d seen it all, and I sighed.
“I couldn’t give a shit. Let her figure her own shit out with the cops when they get here. I’m done.”
“Should I call Archer?”
“No. She can be an adult and call him for help herself.”
Tempest got to her feet, and Mason ignored her, moving to the door to grab my bag for me.
One of the firefighters was on the phone, and I assumed it was someone from my family from the way they waved for us to go.
“Dad? I’m sorry,” I mumbled, eyeing my burning car as they tried to put it out.
“We can talk later. For now, you need to leave. We can collect anything else of yours later. Just go, it’s handled,” he replied. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I said before hanging up, leaving Tempest crying behind me as the guys led me towards their car on the street.
Tempest was screaming at me, but I pretended like I couldn’t hear her, sliding into the back with Mason, who dropped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me in for a hug.
I accepted it, letting myself lean on him as I processed the fact that the one girl who I’d stupidly fallen in love with had been nothing but a lying piece of shit.
Tempest
My throat hurt from screaming, and my eyes stung from crying.
Why had I told him?
The remains of the car sat in the driveway, the scent of smoke still lingering in the air despite me being inside now.
I’d tried calling Ryder twenty-seven times since he’d left hours ago, Mason only allowing two attempts before he switched his phone off. I contemplated calling Mom and then scoffed, putting my phone down.
I hadn’t heard from her, so she’d probably be more worried about what we’d owe the Donovans for Ryder’s car.
Pain seared my chest at the thought of his words. He hated me, I’d heard him say it. I was pretty sure he had, anyway. It was blurry.
I smacked the side of my head as if to rattle the truth to the surface, barely registering the pain. Ryder and I had thrown hands at each other plenty over the past few weeks, but he’d laid into me today without a second thought.
Usually, at least he apologized for getting mad, but today, I could tell he wanted to do it again.
I should’ve stolen Channing’s keys and hidden them. Then none of them would’ve left and we could’ve fixed it.
Right?
“Fuck!” I shouted, throwing an empty beer bottle across the room and watching it shatter, running my fingers through my hair and pulling hard. I had a headache, the erratic panic in my chest only growing with every passing minute.
I thought maybe Ryder would come back, convincing myself he would realize I’d done what I had to in order to keep us together, but he obviously wasn’t.
A dog barked in the street, children laughed somewhere as they played outside, and the sound of my own breathing was loud in my head as I tried to make it stop.
He said I’d ruined everything, and maybe he was right. I always ruined things, it was why my family hated me and why people only wanted me around temporarily.
I wasn’t even sure if it was because I was good in bed or if it was just because my pussy was warm at this point.
It was always my fucking fault.
I tore the bedroom apart looking for my blade, cursing at myself when I remembered I’d thrown it out. I hadn’t needed to cut myself to feel for weeks.
My eyes landed on Ryder’s bedside table where his knife sat, and I hesitated before walking over and grabbing it, wasting no time as I sat on the bed and pressed the tip against my thigh, savoring the familiar burn as I dragged it across my skin and let the blood drip onto the blanket under me.
It wasn’t enough. The burn was barely there.
I did it again a little deeper, the blood running faster with this one.
The noise in my head was so loud, Ryder’s hateful words screaming at me as I shook my head to try and block them out. Nothing worked.
Blood coated my fingers, and the knife shook in my hands as I cut again, managing to cause some pain this time.
Good, I deserved it.
The world had been punishing me for a long time now, and I considered cutting across my wrist to bleed out. My luck, someone would find me and bring me back, thinking they were helping.
I wasn’t supposed to be here, no one wanted me to be. All I’d had was Ryder, and even he’d turned on me.
I hadn’t set his car on fire, right? He’d done that and gaslit me. He wanted to make me look bad in front of the guys so he’d have his friends to himself.
Had he found someone better? It probably hadn’t been hard.
Everyone wanted him, and he’d finally realized he could do so much better.
I didn’t notice that I was fisting my hair until some of it tugged from my scalp, my chest tight as I tried to remember what had happened.
He’d left me, said I was crazy. Did the neighbors see him set his own car on fire?
Why did he do that? He loved me, or did I imagine that?
Had he even fucking been here, or was I having a bad trip?
I lifted my fingers to my face, smearing blood across my skin. I felt the dried blood from earlier when he’d hit me, so he’d definitely been here. Pretty sure my nose was broken.
My phone rang and I dove for it, scrambling to answer when I saw Ryder’s name on the screen. “Ry?—”
“You’re pathetic.” It didn’t really sound like him, but it had to be. “No one fucking likes you.”
“Don’t say that,” I choked out, pressing it harder to my ear. “Come back, please. I’ll do anything.”
“Anything?” he chuckled, seeming to think about it for a second before continuing. “You want to prove your love for me? Get in the bath, Tempest. Go on. Fill it with water and slit your fucking wrists for me.”
He wasn’t making sense. Did he want me to have a bath?
“Will you join me?” I asked desperately, taking the phone into the bathroom and ignoring the blood dripping down my thighs as I put the plug in to start running the water.
“One day,” he mused. “There’s no need for you to stay.”
“Where am I supposed to go?”
“To fucking hell where you belong. You’re nothing, Tempest. Fucking nothing. You think anyone will cry when they find you in that bath? How long until anyone even comes looking for you? I sure as fuck won’t be.”
Tears burned my eyes and I squeezed them shut, shaking my head. “Don’t say that!”
“Why not? It’s the truth. I bet your mom will be relieved to not have to deal with you again. No more embarrassing her or your dad. There’d be no point having a funeral, it’s not like anyone would show up to mourn you.”
“Shut up!” I screamed, pressing my hands over my ears to try and shut him up, dropping my phone in the process. Voices screamed in my head, or I was screaming, I had no idea, but when I finally looked down at my cracked phone, the call had disconnected.
Picking it up, I placed it on the edge of the bath, quickly turning the taps off as the water started overflowing. I stared at the water, contemplating what to do.
I could make it all better if I got in there and did as he said.
Was he lying, or would he miss me?
I’d do anything for him to miss me.
I walked back to the bedroom and found his knife on the bed, the sheets bloodied and reminding me that I’d cut myself, but I was too numb to feel any of the pain now.
I barely felt the scalding water when I returned to the bathroom and climbed into the bath, not caring as water spilled onto the floor. I hesitated before grabbing my phone off the side of the bath, opening a message to Ryder.
I didn't want him to stay mad at me, I needed him to come and find me on the other side.
The other side was a thing, right?
Tempest: I’m sorry.
He didn’t reply and I didn’t expect him to, putting the phone on the floor and closing my eyes.
I just wanted it to be quiet.
Writing a note was pointless if Ryder was right and no one would even find me.
What would I even say? They’d just be glad that I was gone.
I pressed the knife hard against my wrist, definitely feeling the sharp pain this time as it sliced through my skin. A sob left me, more tears managing to fall as if I didn’t want to leave the world behind without letting it take what was left of me.
The blood flowed as I gave my other wrist a matching cut, closing my eyes tightly to block out the burn that reminded me I was alive.
How ironic that the most alive I’d felt in hours was just before I died.