Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ryder
C hanning shoved a joint at me the second we’d gotten back to his place, and I told them everything that had gone down. I couldn’t explain the pain in my chest though, that was a type of vulnerability I wasn’t going to let them see.
We spent a few hours just hanging out, ignoring the millions of calls from Tempest. I was relieved when it stopped, some of the anger melting away.
How could I have been so stupid? She’d always been able to manipulate the people around her, so why hadn’t I questioned her more about my drink being spiked? Of course it was her, it made total sense now.
I’d known I’d been nothing but a meal ticket to her this whole time, but when we’d had nothing and all she’d had left was me, she’d stayed.
Was it just because I could put a roof over her head?
I’d stupidly believed I’d been enough for her and somehow fallen in love with the bitch.
She didn’t want me, she wanted a junkie bestie to put up with her shit and get high with.
Admitting she’d done it to make me fun again was a kick in the guts. What a stupid reason to ruin someone else’s life.
She’d visited weekly when I was in rehab, hearing my struggles and knowing how hard it had been to stick to the path I’d been so desperately trying to stay on.
She was so fucking selfish.
Channing offered to drive me home when I was ready, and we were almost in Ashburn Valley when a text came through.
Tempest: I’m sorry.
I stared at it for a moment, swallowing around the lump in my throat as a flicker of concern pushed past the frustration.
“What?” Channing asked, glancing over at me. “Tempest? Ignore her, man. You could try to get her charged, you know? She fucking drugged you.”
“Can you take me to the house that I was staying at with her?” I asked, and he groaned.
“Trust me, man. No matter what she says, she doesn’t mean it. She’s just trying to get you to go back to her because she’s alone.”
“She said sorry,” I said slowly, sliding my gaze to him.
“So? Of course she is, she’d say anything to get you back. C’mon, think about it. She’ll just act hysterical until you either leave again or kill her. Don’t you remember blacking out and wailing on her? Let her go before both of you end up dead or in prison.”
“Tempest has never said sorry a day in her life, even as a manipulation tactic. I think I should check on her. I’ll call her dad if she hasn’t already.”
“You’re a saint among sinners, Donovan. I would’ve left her to rot,” he muttered, but he turned onto the road that led to my place, a sick feeling growing in my stomach the closer we got.
It only took us a minute to get there, and when Channing offered to come in, I shook my head.
“I’ve got it. I won’t start swinging at her, I’ll just make sure she’s okay, get her dad to come and deal with her, then one of my parents can pick me up,” I said firmly, and he nodded.
“Alright. I’m sorry, man. I really had no idea she’d done that to you. Call me if you need me or the guys, okay?” he said as I climbed out, giving him a small smile.
“Thanks, bro.”
He waved and drove off, leaving me to walk past the shell of my Hellcat and in through the unlocked door, a frown tugging at my mouth when all I heard was silence.
“Temp?”
Nothing. Considering she’d only texted me a few minutes ago, she should’ve popped out of the bedroom or something by now.
Maybe she’d left on foot? Her car was still here, but the house was trashed, so she probably couldn't find her keys.
I found them on the coffee table a second later though, erasing that thought.
I checked the bedroom, my eyes taking in the bloodied sheets on the bed. My knife was missing from the bedside table, the feeling in my stomach getting worse as I left the room and walked into the bathroom.
“Temp? Are you—” Tempest was in the bath, her shirt still on and the water all over the floor. All I could see was the blood in the water though. “Tempest?”
She didn’t respond, and pure panic filled me when she started slipping slightly, her mouth and nose dipping under the water as her wrist came into view.
I’d never seen her cut that bad before.
“Oh fuck. Baby, no,” I choked out, almost slipping on the flooded floor as I scrambled towards her, grabbing her under the arms and hauling her out of the water. It was hot, way too hot.
Had she bled out or just fainted from the heat?
I had to wrap her wrists to slow the bleeding, she was so fucking pale.
I placed her on the bed and grabbed two shirts from my drawer, wrapping them around both wrists and tying them firmly, checking her pulse in the process. It was weak, but it was there.
I managed to carry her out to the living room to grab her keys and put her in the car, remembering to buckle her in. If I braked hard, she’d fly through the damn windshield.
Wasting no time, I sped towards Ashburn Valley Hospital, somehow pressing the right buttons on my phone to dial Archer’s number.
“What’s wrong?” he asked instantly, knowing I wouldn’t call him unless I had to.
“Meet me at the hospital. Now. I’m taking Temp in.”
“What happened?” Doors slammed and he shouted something at someone, telling me he was already on the way out the door of wherever he was.
“She’s slit her wrists really bad. I found her in the bath, she’s not conscious,” I choked out, his car starting and tires spun. “We had a fight and broke up. I didn’t know?—”
“You listen to me. Get her to that hospital, and we’ll deal with this conversation later, okay? I need to call Lex. Focus, Ryder. She’s going to be okay,” he said firmly, and I was pretty sure he was trying to convince himself, but I just took a breath and agreed, letting him hang up.
The car screeched as we arrived out the front of the hospital, and I raced around to her side to haul her out. She was limp in my arms, and I wasn’t even sure if I’d made it in time.
She looked dead.
It was a blur after that, nurses and doctors taking her from me and rushing her away, and someone asking me questions that I couldn’t process to give them an answer.
“Leave him the fuck alone, can’t you see he’s in shock?” Archer appeared in front of me, his eyes taking in my wet, bloodied clothes, and then he pulled me against his chest so tightly that I swore I cracked a rib. That was when the first sob left me, and I couldn’t fucking stop.
How did we get here?
Archer steered me towards the corner of the waiting room, but I couldn’t let go of him. It was like my body had locked up and latched onto him as an anchor.
If he was talking, I couldn’t hear him.
When Lexi arrived, I somehow pulled myself away to sit down and give them a moment together as they found a doctor to talk to, and I had no idea how much time had passed until someone squatted in front of me.
“Mom? What are you doing here?” I asked, remembering how to speak.
“Because you need me,” she answered as if the last time I’d seen her, I hadn’t punched her in the face. “She’s okay, Ry. Doc just told Arch and Lex that they’ve managed to stop the bleeding and stitched her up. She’s weak and needs blood, but they’re going to keep her in here for a little while for observation. She woke up and flipped out, so they had to sedate her again. Do you know when she used last?”
“Sunday, I think. What day is it today? Friday?”
She sighed, putting her hand on my knee and giving it a squeeze. “Wednesday. What happened?”
My throat went tight, and she moved to sit beside me, sliding an arm around me and pulled my head onto her shoulder. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize how bad it was getting again. I never should’ve put my hands on you. I think I need help again.”
“You want to go back to rehab?” she asked, making me nod, and she kissed the top of my head. “Okay. We’ll organize it for you. I’ll always forgive you. Getting help and starting again is all I want for you. I love you so much, even when you give me gray hair.”
“I love you too,” I forced out, trying to keep the emotion out of my voice but failing.
We sat like that until Archer joined us, his eyes on me. “I don’t know what made you check on her, but thank you. If you hadn’t, I’d be burying my baby.” I was confused that he knew I’d left and come back, but he continued. “I spoke to Diesel. He said you two were fighting, and she set your car on fire, so you left.”
“Sort of. I broke up with her because she told me she was the person who spiked my drink. She’s the reason I relapsed,” I mumbled, his eyes narrowing. “I told her I was leaving and she had to be out by morning. She set my car on fire to stop me.”
He leaned down so his voice didn’t travel. “Are you the reason her face is beat to shit?”
I cringed, his nostrils flaring, but Mom put a hand on his chest to push him back.
“We’ll discuss this later. Things have gotten messy, and Ry has decided to go back to rehab. We’ll pay to put Tempest into some kind of program. This can’t go on, Arch. Who cares if she hates you for it, at least she’ll be alive. They’ve been on their own for close to three weeks and look at them. The violence wasn’t one-sided either, not that I’m condoning Ryder’s behavior.”
“Can I see her?” I asked, not liking my chances from the way this conversation was going, but he surprised me as he nodded.
“She’s sort of awake, but she’s drowsy from the sedatives. She said something about you calling her and telling her to do it.” He crossed his arms, waiting for my answer, and I pulled my phone from my pocket with a frown, opening my call log.
“I didn’t call her.” I showed him, his features relaxing. “She thinks I told her to kill herself? I’ve said some nasty shit to her before, but never that.”
“I thought it was weird, but I also know you’re a fucking mess and aren’t yourself these days. I’ll take you to her.”
I glanced at Mom, and she nodded, encouraging me to follow Archer along the white hallway until he opened a door to a room, holding it open for me. I stepped inside, and Lexi gave me a watery smile, squeezing my arm gently on her way out to give us some privacy.
Once alone, I made my way towards the bed, Tempest’s eyes fluttering open to try and focus on me. “Ry?”
“Yeah, baby,” I murmured, sitting in the chair beside the bed to take her hand. She was cold, but not as cold as she had been when I’d carried her in here.
“Are you happy now? You said you would be,” she mumbled, my heart hurting. I knew her hallucinations were a problem, but if she’d imagined something like that, it was way worse than I’d thought.
“I didn’t call you, Temp. It was your mind playing tricks on you,” I said carefully, not wanting to set her off. “You need help. We both do. If I ask you to get help with me, will you?”
Her lip trembled, and she gripped my hand a little tighter, her voice soft. “You don’t hate me?”
“I’m mad, but I want you better. We can do it together,” I promised, relief filling me when she nodded. She tried pulling me closer, and I stood, tugging my ruined shirt off before lying down beside her and wrapping an arm around her middle. “This only works if we both get sober. If you don’t want to, I can’t be with you. That’s not me trying to manipulate you, that’s me being honest.”
“I want to. I’m sorry for spiking your drink,” she choked out, her face pressing into my neck as she tried to curl into me. It was hard with her wrapped wrists and everything connected to her, but we made it work.
I stroked her back, and she sank into me, her breathing eventually evening out as she fell asleep. Someone poked their head in at some point, but I wasn’t rolling over to see who, and they obviously decided not to bother us.
I had to hope Tempest was serious about wanting to get sober because I couldn’t do it for her. If she wasn’t one hundred percent on board, she’d fail.
I’d seen a lot of people come and go in the clinic when I’d been there, and I knew if I gave her a reason to keep pushing, she might at least try.
I couldn’t force her though, and I had to think of my own recovery.
I kissed the top of her head and sighed, wondering what the next few months would bring.
The date on her chart said it was the thirteenth, and my heart hurt a little at knowing we’d both be away from family for Christmas. That first month was crucial though, so I’d do whatever I could to get back on the right path and return home.
The hardest part was admitting you needed help sometimes, so at least I’d finally gotten Tempest to do that.
Now, I just had to hope she wanted the change badly enough to stick it out because those bad days? They fucking sucked, but it was worth it.
I’d gotten clean before, so I knew I could do it again.
Tempest
I hated waking up alone. I’d been in the hospital for three days, and most of it had been a blur of doctors and tests. Mom and Dad had been in here most days, but I’d slept through most of it.
Whatever drugs they had me on was keeping the withdrawals away, but not enough to feel like I had a good hit. It was almost frustrating.
“Temp?” Mom asked quietly, making me realize I’d zoned out and was staring out the window.
“Hmm?”
“I’m proud of you,” she said softly, hesitating before reaching over to grab my hand. She’d been glued to the seat beside my bed since Ryder had left some time through the first night I was here.
I would’ve panicked if I wasn’t so drowsy, and the fact that he’d stopped by this morning helped a lot too.
Anxiety clawed at my insides, knowing he was leaving for rehab this afternoon and I wouldn’t see him again until I got there myself in a few days. I’d told Mom how worried I was that they’d separate us, and I almost changed my mind about going when Ryder said they probably would keep a lot of our program stuff separate.
If we worked hard on ourselves and proved we wanted to get better, they’d let us spend some time together still. If one of us started dragging the other down though?
Well, I’d probably get sent to a different clinic.
I wasn’t sure if being sober was what I wanted, but I wanted Ryder, and I didn’t want to go back to empty sex and nights feeling lonely in a room full of people.
If being sober could make me feel less lonely, it was totally worth trying.
“I didn’t do anything to be proud of,” I said to Mom, and she gave me a small smile.
“Baby, you asked for help. That’s a huge step.”
“I didn’t ask, Ryder kind of threw it at me,” I said dryly, but the knowing look on her face told me she knew he hadn't exactly forced it upon me. “Well, he thinks I should, so I thought maybe I can try.”
“He’s a good man for looking after you.” Her eyes lingered on the bruises on my face, and she grimaced. “Sober, anyway. You both need a lot of self-discovery and therapy. You can’t do it all beside him, okay? He’ll be in there, but I need you to focus on yourself. Work hard so you can update him if there’s something he missed. Cheer each other on.”
“I love him, Mom,” I murmured, picking at the edge of the bandage on my wrist. “But what if he doesn't love me when I’m sober? I’m supposed to be the life of the party, so what happens when I’m not partying anymore?”
“You’ve always been the life of the party, Temp. Even before you knew what a party was. I’m telling you right now, that boy loves you. You didn’t see him when you were first brought in here. He spent most of the night beside you until Rory dragged him home at six the next morning. The way he watched you? It's the same way your father looks at me when he doesn’t realize I can see it,” she chuckled lightly. “Ry doesn’t throw words like love around, so if he’s saying it to you, he means it.”
“I don’t even have hobbies.”
“You’ll find some. You’ll find something you enjoy, and you’ll probably both go out on dates together now too. Trust me, you’ll find yourselves. Give yourself some grace. You need to heal before you climb mountains,” she explained. “And I’ll visit as much as you like. If you want space, I’ll respect it but don’t shut me out. I love you so much. I’m sorry you felt like I didn’t.”
Part of me still didn’t particularly believe it, but the doctors assured me that was in my head. When I explained to them about the phone call to Ryder just before I’d climbed in the bath and slit my wrists, they explained how detailed hallucinations can be.
Ryder even brought me my phone to go through the messages and calls, and the call didn’t exist. It was hard to wrap my head around, it had been so real.
The more the doctors dug into my brain about things, the more I realized how fucked up I was. So many things I’d imagined, and it made me feel fucking crazy.
“I still think I want to do porn. I’m good at it, and being my own boss is awesome. Ry’s happy to keep doing it too,” I stated, and she raised an eyebrow.
“You might change your mind when you’ve had some time to think about it, and you both have a long way to go to heal your relationship.”
“I don’t think I’ll change my mind.”
“Whatever you do, I’ll support it. It’s your life, I’m just happy to watch you thrive. Do you think you and Ry will be into the whole monogamy thing now?”
I shrugged, smiling slightly. “I mean, we like messing around with other people together. Maybe we just save it for the porn videos though. We should probably stop fucking all of our friends, right?”
“Right,” she snorted, eyeing me with amusement. “Do you want me to sneak some decent coffee in?”
“Oh my God, please,” I groaned. I’d do anything for a good coffee. “Am I allowed?”
“I’ll give the doctor a heads up just to make sure, but he hasn’t restricted you from anything,” she winked, getting to her feet and patting my leg. “I’ll go and see what I can do for you. Blackwater’s diner, right? I’ll be back soon.”
She wandered off to fetch me the liquid gold, and I checked my phone, finding a message from Ryder.
Ryder: My dads got out this morning while I was visiting you. So did Zane and Sniper.
Tempest: Are they mad at you?
Ryder: I thought Skeet was going to beat my ass for sure, but I think they were all warned to be nice to me. I wish I could talk to them more about it before I leave, but I don’t have time.
Tempest: Will you have your phone?
Ryder: Not for a while. First thirty days are rough because they cut all contact. You’ll be there soon, so at least I’ll have you.
Tempest: You always have me.
He didn’t reply for a few minutes, and I was starting to think he wouldn’t when a message came through.
Ryder: I love you.
Tempest: Even when I’m crazy?
Ryder: Your crazy makes my dick hard. Except for the crazy stunt you pulled with my car. Insurance better get me a new one, or you’ll be paying me back with orgasms. Just saying.
I giggled like one of those gross lovesick girls in movies, biting my lip as I replied.
Tempest: Orgasms work as currency? Damn, what else can I set on fire then? I love you too.
He sent back a middle finger emoji, and I laughed, putting my phone down.
Mom was right, we definitely had a long way to go to heal our relationship, but at least he was willing to try. I didn’t deserve his love, so I was grateful that he hadn’t turned his back on me and was giving me another chance.
Someone knocked on the door and I looked up, not expecting to find Mason there with my father.
“Found someone wandering in the hallway. Call if you need me, I have to head to the docks for something,” Dad said lightly, nudging Mason inside before walking away, leaving us alone.
Mason looked highly uncomfortable, and I couldn’t blame him. We hadn’t spoken since being in the driveway with Ryder’s car on fire behind us, and I wasn’t sure why he’d even shown up.
As far as I knew, he hated me.
“Hey,” I murmured, patting the bed beside me and letting him know I was fine with him being here.
“Hey. Ry said you’re getting out of here in the next few days,” he said carefully as if he wasn’t sure what he was allowed to say. He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, intending on reaching for me but stopping himself at the last second.
I took his hand, giving it a squeeze. “You spoke to Ry?”
“Yeah, I saw him yesterday. He explained what happened.” His fingers tightened in mine, and I smiled, feeling better now that I’d seen him.
Mason wasn’t just some guy I fucked, he’d been a friend, almost.
“I still did the wrong thing,” I said slowly, making him wince.
“Yeah, you did. Channing won’t let you in the house, and Wolfe’s pissed. I wanted to see you though. So, you’re going to rehab?”
I filled him in on everything, probably doubling up on info that he’d already heard from Ryder, but he didn’t complain.
“Can I ask you a question?” I asked quietly, and he nodded, waiting for me to continue. “If I’m not coming to parties or fucking you and the guys, will you still text sometimes? I mean, Ry will probably invite you over for some fun sometimes, but not all the time.”
“We’re friends, Tempest,” he said with amusement, releasing my hand to get comfortable. “But I’m likely to decline the sex offer.”
“What? Why? Are you that mad at me?”
He chuckled. “It’s not a punishment, Temp. If you and Ry want to mess around with other people, you need to find someone who’s not emotionally invested in you. I’m too in love with you to be a third wheel, and the only person I’m hurting is myself. If you and Ry were chasing someone else to be with you, then sure, I’d jump at the chance, but you won’t ever love me how I want you to. Normal friends don’t fuck.”
“I wish I could've loved you too, Mase. I tried, you know? When I had no one before Ry came back, you’re the only person who seemed to care. Thank you.”
He grinned, not being able to help himself as he leaned closer to tuck my hair behind my ear. “Yeah, well. I was hoping you’d fall stupidly in love with me over it, but I guess I set myself up to fail from the beginning with my competition being Donovan.”
“You’re the best, you really are. You’ll make someone so happy one day,” I promised, patting his leg. “So, just friends?”
His face softened and he smiled, holding my gaze. “Yeah, Temp. Just friends.”
Saying goodbye to him was hard because I needed more time, but he promised to visit us in a month or two when we were allowed visitors in rehab. He dropped a kiss on my cheek, cupping my chin to force my eyes to his as he stood.
“You’re going to do great things one day, babe. I believe in you.”
“I’ll see you soon?” I was delaying him leaving, I knew that, but my throat went tight at the thought of not seeing him again.
What if he decided while I was gone that it was better?
Would I have anyone left other than Ryder when I got back?
He gave me a knowing smile, starting to walk backwards towards the door. “Soon. I’ll come and visit. I promise.”
The only thing that stopped me calling him back was that Mom returned at the same time with my coffee in hand, making me forget all about my fears for five more minutes.
“Everything okay?” she asked as she sat back in the chair beside me, handing me my coffee.
I smiled, actually believing my words for once as I spoke. “Yeah, Mom. Everything’s fine.”
I wasn’t sure what the next few months would bring, but I was going to be okay.
Probably not for a while, but eventually.
My phone buzzed with a text, and I checked it to see a photo of Ryder in front of the rehab clinic.
Ryder: See you soon, baby. I’ll talk to you when you get here. I love you.
I quickly replied, never getting tired of telling him I loved him.
I never thought I’d be excited to go to rehab, but I’d be counting down the days until I got to see the man who saved me in more ways than one.
That day would be the first day of the beginning of my new life, and I couldn’t fucking wait.