Chapter XX Arvi
XX Arvi
I take a step back, at which Arvi snickers, putting the knife away at his belt. “I was joking, laruna. Come on, they have plumbing, and I picked you a room with a private bathroom. It’s through there.”
He points at a set of narrow doors I thought led to a built-in wardrobe.
When he opens them, there is indeed a bathroom with a toilet, washbasin below a tiny mirror, and a metal bathtub.
It’s smaller and less ornate than the one in Vardi’s castle, but I should be able to bathe comfortably.
Arvi lights more candles around it, turning the sparsely furnished room into a charming space.
I touch my hair in deliberation as I wonder if I could go a few more days without washing it, but that’s not important right now.
Arvi leans against the wall, watching me with hooded eyes.
It’s now or never. I feel too embarrassed to do this in front of Raduna.
Arvi’s straightforward bluntness makes me bold enough to ask him.
I take a deep breath and blurt out what I need to say before fear tangles my tongue.
“Khay made me think knights take the queen in a different way than Magnar. Can you explain?”
Arvi’s eyes widen, and for once, he looks miffed. “I think Raduna will explain it better,” he demurs. “I’ll probably scare you, not that it is scary, though maybe it is for a woman, and I… oh, bollocks.”
He closes his eyes and thumps the back of his head into the wall with a mighty thud. I flinch, scared he hurt himself, but Arvi sighs and opens his eyes, unharmed.
“So, I had this girl before Magnar knighted me,” he says, twirling a knife between his fingers, which I think might be a nervous habit.
“She was adventurous and far more experienced than me. Doesn’t matter.
What I mean to say is, she put her fingers up my ass one time, and I thought it wouldn’t be that much fun, but she was so gentle and sweet that it ended up being the best romp of my life so far. ”
I swallow and nod slowly, remembering Khay’s fingers roaming in bathwater and his hot whispers. This might be ours.
“So, ah, it was pleasant? Fingers… in there?”
Arvi nods emphatically. “Yeah. Very pleasant. I mean, when it’s gentle and slow, and it will be!
But the crux of the problem is that, well, cocks are kinda thicker and longer than fingers.
Some… a lot thicker and longer. It may sound unappealing when you’re not, you know, horny, but once you are, it might… sound like a good idea.”
He looks away, the knife twirling faster and faster as Arvi’s cheeks stain with a purple blush. He groans in embarrassment.
“I fucked it up, didn’t I? You hate it. I get it. All right, why don’t you take that bath, and I’ll wait in the bedroom if you need me. I’m sorry.”
“But I hoped you’d wash my hair.”
The words slip out of my mouth before I’m done processing the chaotic ramble of Arvi’s explanation. He stumbles into a stop in the bathroom’s doorway and turns.
“Yeah? Really? Thank you!”
I can’t help but laugh. I’m lightheaded from hunger and the violent events of today.
“I should thank you. It’s a lot of work to get me clean.”
Arvi’s eyes widen, and I press my hand to my mouth, knowing immediately what I said was an innuendo. He closes his eyes and touches both thumbs to his forehead, bowing his head as he whispers frantically under his breath.
“What are you doing?” I ask, getting vertigo. Arvi is difficult to keep up with.
“Thanking Amoya, the goddess of love and sex, for this miracle.” He looks up with a snicker, dropping his hands.
“Not really because fuck the gods. Thank you, my queen, and I’ll do whatever you ask.
After Magnar got you off, it’s fair game, you know.
I used to be very good with my mouth. I can also massage your feet, feed you grapes if Raduna gets some, or perform for your pleasure.
I can dance traditional Agnidari courting dances. ”
I shake my head in bewilderment, and Arvi’s eager smile shrinks. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, releasing air in a long stream through pursed lips. “Bath. Right. Focus on the bath.”
When he looks up, his expression is calmer. “I am very chaotic when I get excited and I need to help my mind calm down sometimes. I hope you won’t think I’m deficient.”
“Deficient?” I repeat the word with disgust, because I never even thought to use it in relation to him. “No, absolutely not. I am just overwhelmed. And tired. And hungry. It’s difficult to keep up with you right now, but that’s not a fault of yours.”
He nods and takes another big breath, releasing the air slowly, then turns on the water, adjusting the knobs until he’s satisfied with the temperature. “Sorry. All right, so how does this go? I never prepared for bathing duty like Khay, so I’ll need some direction.”
I press my lips together, battling embarrassment. But it’s no use being modest anymore. My wedding night is a few days away, and Arvi will be in the room, like all my knights. He’ll see everything.
“I need help undoing the hooks,” I say, motioning at my bodice. My hands shake from hunger.
He drops to his knees, his flexible fingers flying down my front, his claws clicking until all hooks are undone. I reach back to undo the ribbons of my skirts and petticoats, and he gets up fast, walking around me until he sees what I’m doing.
“Could you?” I ask with a sigh, and he takes over, my skirts pooling around my feet in no time.
“The rest is just ribbons,” I say tiredly, the faintest flutters awakening in my belly, but exhaustion finally descends, overshadowing everything else.
Arvi gets busy undoing my blouse, then my chemise, and I raise my arms shakily to help him take them off. He doesn’t stop to stare at my breasts, falling to his knees to deal with my shoes and stockings instead. He fingers the male underwear hanging wide around my thighs and clears his throat.
“Whose are they?”
“Raduna’s. Khay lays out a pair for me every morning. Nowadays it’s either Magnar’s or Raduna’s. I punished Khay, quite unfairly.”
Arvi scoffs. “He humped you like a pubescent boy. I say you were extremely fair.”
I manage a tired smile. “You really do share everything.”
“Yes. I even had the displeasure of hearing Magnar wax poetic on the joys of riding a full day with his cum slowly drying in his underpants. But then, he also told us how nicely you came… How you felt on his fingers… And what you like.”
His voice softens as he slides the stockings down my legs. I step out of them, and Arvi divests me of the rest of my clothes, his fingers gently trailing my skin. Suddenly, he presses his face to my belly and inhales, nuzzling his cheek into my skin.
“You smell really good,” he murmurs, his hot breath tickling my skin. “Thank you for letting me do this.”
Before I have time to reply, he’s up again, adjusting the faucet. He gives me a long, careful look, but not to ogle me. His eyes are narrowed on my face.
“I need to step out for a moment. Since you’re swaying on your feet, please, don’t go in the bath until I’m back.”
I nod sheepishly, remembering how I fell asleep and almost drowned. Arvi walks out into the bedroom, where he wrestles with the window until it slides open.
“Oi! Gunnar! Will you bring me the queen’s bag? Thanks, you’re a champ!”
He comes back, rubbing his hands together. “Right. Do I put you in? I guess it’s kinda high. Hang on.”
One arm under my knees, the other supporting my back, Arvi picks me up with concentration, then lowers me into the warm water, wetting his arms in the process.
I sigh and lie back, but then remember the pins still in my hair.
I straighten with a grunt and reach up, only to have my hands swatted away.
“I’ll do it. Fuck, what’s taking him so long? You’re faint with hunger.”
Not five minutes later, the bedroom door opens, and Raduna announces himself. “I brought food and the bag. May I come in?”
I nod tiredly, because in for one knight, in for all three. Arvi bids him to enter, and Raduna stops in the threshold, balancing a large tray in one palm, my bag held in the other. For a moment, he freezes, his avid gaze tracing my body. Arvi huffs in impatience.
“You’ll look later. Come on, man. She’s starving.”
Raduna shakes off his daze and nods with a mumbled apology. He lays the bag aside and grabs a stool, sitting by the tub.
“We have bread with paté, a fresh zucchini salad, and plums for dessert. To drink, I brought you weak tea, milk with honey, and wine mixed with water.”
I nod, my eyelids so heavy, I can’t keep them lifted. Raduna hums, cutlery clinking against the plate, then brings a fork to my mouth. “Open, my queen.”
I let him feed me, the hot water untying the knots in my muscles.
Arvi excuses himself and goes into the bedroom, and I keep my eyes closed.
I barely have enough strength to chew and swallow, every bite of food taking effort.
When I say I can’t have anymore, Raduna coaxes me to drink the milk, then to take a few more bites.
Slowly, my stomach fills, and the jitters in my hands subside.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to wash myself,” I mumble. “I guess I can just soak.”
“Or I could wash you if you’d like,” Arvi offers. “I cut my nails just now. I won’t hurt you.”
Raduna gasps in outrage. “What, all of them?! By the gods! Arvi, you need your claws!”
“No, I don’t. I have knives,” Arvi says, his voice growing sullen. “Though you’re right, I’ll look pretty fucking stupid if she says no. Ah, who cares. They will grow back.”
“But even Magnar cut only two!” Raduna says, incredulous.
I crack one eye open, his distress rousing me enough to look. I just catch the moment when Arvi snatches both palms out of Raduna’s stunned hold, clenching them into fists at his sides. He gives me a defiant look.
“You said you wanted me to wash your hair, and since I have no clue how to care for it, I thought it would be safer if I cut them. So. Are we doing this, laruna?”
I blink at him, finally understanding what a blunder I made. Arvi is bald. Obviously, he doesn’t deal with long hair on a daily basis like Khay. And yet, he was determined enough to please me that he even cut his nails, which seems like a big deal.
“Yes, we are,” I say. “You can… I mean, if you want… You can wash all of me.”
Arvi makes that gesture again, both thumbs pressing to his forehead as he bows his head, and Raduna scoffs. “Cut it out. You’re not religious.”
But Arvi shakes his head. “I’ve just regained my faith. Amoya has blessed me greatly tonight.”
“Our gods never listened to me,” I confess, sitting up while Arvi rummages in my bag, pulling out soaps and bottles of cosmetics. “Maybe yours are better. You should teach me that prayer.”
Arvi comes to my side, shooing Raduna off the stool. He has a soap in each hand, smelling them in turns, until he settles on the one scented with orange and basil and hands the other to Raduna.
“You don’t have to pray, though,” he says, lathering his hands. “You’ve got three knights ready to make your every wish come true. Do I wash your face with soap?”
I nod emphatically. “Please. I want to rinse away every nasty memory from today.”
“Of course, sweet. Close your eyes.”
Unlike Khay, Arvi uses his hands, his declawed fingers gliding slowly over my forehead, down the slope of my nose, around my cheeks and lips. Both men are quiet, the air tense with concentration. He rinses the soap off and swallows audibly.
“Do I have permission to touch you everywhere, or is something off limits?”
I sigh, suppressing shame. “Everywhere.”
Both men gasp in surprise, but my eyes are closed, which is the only way I can handle it. My exhausted body, now fed, awakens with sensation. As Arvi’s warm, safe fingers glide down my throat, I realize I need a distraction.
“So, why is cutting your claws so shocking?”
Arvi grunts, his hands splashing into water as he wets them to make more lather.
Raduna’s voice is low and rumbly as he speaks.
“Agnidari men take great pride in their teeth and claws, my queen. Sharp, healthy teeth and long nails are the marks of a great warrior. Arvi’s have always been the longest. He cultivated his claws because he doesn’t grow long hair, which is another thing warriors take pride in. ”
My eyes flash open, and I sit up, causing Arvi’s hand to slide from my collarbone down to my breast. He snatches it away with a hiss, his cheeks dark. I wanted to say something else, but his reaction makes my stomach fill with ice.
Just like with Khay, I’m terrified I’m putting Arvi through something he’d rather not do.
“You… Do you hate touching me?”
Arvi throws me a look of utter contempt, his brows gathered into a thick frown, pierced lips twisted.
“Excuse me? What the fuck gave you that insane idea?”
I blink in confusion, remembering Arvi’s professions of lust. However, washing me is different, and he did express some dislike for human bodies earlier.
“Um, you flinched away.”
His face smoothes, and he sighs heavily, leaning with both hands spread wide on the lip of the tub.
“Really, laruna, that innocent act is gonna kill me. It’s like you have no idea—how much we want you.
What I’d like to do is climb in this tub with you and do filthy, nasty things, but my queen has commanded me to wash her, so that’s what I’ll fucking do.
It takes every bit of my self-control to do only that, and I am still grateful for the privilege.
Yeah? Please, don’t ever think again that I don’t want to touch you. ”
He's right. They’ve told me repeatedly they want me, they showed me, they made it clear. And yet, again and again, it’s as if I forget it as soon as my blush of embarrassment fades away. Because deep inside, I don’t believe it’s possible for me to be wanted like this.
“I’m sorry I’m so dense,” I mutter, looking away, my cheeks heating with shame.
Arvi snorts with disdain, gripping my jaw and turning my face until I’m forced to look at him, his hold verging on painful.
“No, nuh-uh. First of all, you don’t apologize to me, because this I fucking hate. And second, you’re going to look me in the eye and say, ‘I’m smart and beautiful’ ten times in a row right now. Go on.”
Panic swirls in my belly, my throat closing up with a ridiculous terror. I try to look around his angry face at Raduna, hoping he’ll save me, but the big knight leans against the wall, watching us with a serious expression. Arvi tightens his hold.
“Look at me.”