Chapter 24 #2
“Look,” Holden said, “if you’re serious about Flynn, it can wait until you finish school, Bailey. You need to keep your eye on the prize.”
“But that’s the problem, Holden. I don’t want that prize. You do.”
The words fell out of me much easier than I expected. It was a relief to purge them from my system. My chest was still tight, my heart aching, as I watched my brother’s brow furrow in confusion.
“What do you mean?”
“Do you know why I went to that race tonight? Why I worked on Owen’s car at all? Because I missed my job.”
Holden blinked. “What?”
“I’m a mechanic, Holden. It sounds cheesy, but it’s my calling. I love working on cars. I don’t love going to school.”
“Bailey, we talked about this last year. You can’t know unless—”
“Unless I try? Well, I have.”
He looked skeptical. “And you call this giving it a fair chance?”
I licked my dry lips. “I gave it the only chance I could, and I know I’ve disappoi—” My voice broke. “Disappointed you,” I rasped out. “I’m sorry.”
Holden stared at me, looking conflicted. “Come on, Bailey, you could never disappoint me,” he said. “Sometimes, your choices disappoint me, but only because I know you can do such amazing things. You’re too smart for your own good. You deserve better than the little shithole where we live.”
“Maybe, but that’s where my brothers are, and that’s where I want to be. It always has been.”
“So, I railroaded you into going to college. That’s what you’re saying?”
I hesitated. “Not entirely. I wanted to try, you know, in case you were right. But I didn’t think it was for me. I just know it meant a lot to you, being able to give me this, so…”
“So you’ve been faking it for me,” Holden said flatly.
“I guess so.”
A gust of wind ruffled my hair and cut through my coat. I shivered, longing for a hot shower, a warm bed, and Flynn beside me. Even more than that, I longed for my brother’s approval.
“Well, I guess we have a lot to talk about this weekend,” he said. “But about Flynn…”
“I really care about him,” Flynn said. “This isn’t some casual thing for me. I know Bailey is young, and if he changes his mind—”
“I’m not changing my mind,” I cut in sharply. “We’re together. Holden might not like my choices, but he doesn’t get to make them for me.”
“That’s true,” Holden said quietly. “I know it might seem like I want to control you, Bailey, but I don’t. I just worry.”
“I’ll take good care of him,” Flynn said.
“You’ve got my word on that. I understand why you might want more than an ex-con for your brother.
He deserves the absolute best, but for some reason, he’s chosen me, and I’m not gonna let him go.
If I lose my job over this, it’ll be worth it, and I think you know how much I want to keep working for you.
But Bailey’s worth everything to me. I tried not to go there because he’s your baby brother and all, but how could I not fall for him?
He’s smart, like you said, and just amazing in every way. ”
That was probably the longest speech I’d ever heard Flynn make. Longer, even, than when he explained how he went to prison for manslaughter.
“Hell,” Holden said. “It’s hard to argue with that.” He shook his head. “I’m not going to fire you or come between you two if that’s what Bailey really wants. I’m not a total asshole.”
“Just half of one,” I snarked.
He barked a laugh. “Well, I wouldn’t be doing my job as a big brother otherwise, would I? Do I need to give Flynn the shovel speech?”
“I won’t hurt him.” Flynn locked eyes with me. “I love him too much for that.” More softly, just for me, he said, “I love you, Bailey.”
My heart thumped hard. “I love you, too.”
We stood, staring into each other’s eyes, until Holden expelled a loud breath. “Well, Jesus, don’t let me stop you from—”
I threw my arms around Flynn’s shoulders and jumped. He caught my thighs and hitched me around his waist as I pulled his head down for a kiss.
Holden broke off speaking, muttering something under his breath, but I had more important things to focus on.
Flynn loved me. That was a fucking momentous occasion. Milestones like this had to be celebrated, right?
Flynn kissed me back, soft and sweet, even as his arms were like bars of iron under my weight. He supported me easily. I broke the kiss, pressing my forehead against his.
“You didn’t have to say it back,” he said quietly.
Surprise flitted through me. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“You’re young. I’m your first real boyfriend. You might want to get out there and meet other people. Younger people.”
“I don’t need to meet anyone else,” I said. “You’re it for me.”
“But—”
“Listen to my brother,” Holden said dryly. “Bailey knows his own mind.” A note of regret crept into his voice. “When he’s not being bullied by me, anyway.”
“You don’t bully me,” I protested.
Flynn set me down on the ground but kept me close. I turned, tucking into his side.
“I know how you hate getting my lectures, Bails. I know I’m too fucking bossy. I want to do better, I’m trying, but—”
“You wouldn’t be you if you weren’t bossy,” I said.
“I don’t care about that. Holden, I wasn’t afraid of disappointing you because you’d lecture me.
I didn’t want to disappoint you because you’re so damn perfect at everything you do, and I know you wanted the same for me, but I’m just… not like you.”
“Are you kidding me?” Holden said, looking stunned. “Bailey, you’re the smartest one of us all. I just wanted to give you everything because I love you so damn much.”
My eyes started burning. “Fuck,” I muttered. “Don’t be nice right now.”
He chuckled. “Sorry, kid. I can’t help it. I’ll always be proud of you. No matter what.”
I sniffed. “Okay, Dad.”
He rolled his eyes. “That’s not the insult you think it is.”
“It’s not an insult at all,” I said, smiling.
“Damn, I wish I could hug you,” he muttered. “Today’s been stressful, and I don’t think it’ll go well.”
“That’s okay,” Flynn rumbled. “I got you.” He pulled me into his arms and squeezed me. “This hug’s for Holden.”
I held him back, tight. “Thanks.”
“Yeah,” Holden said, an odd note in his voice. “Thank you, Flynn.”
“Anytime.”
“But don’t think this lets you off the hook for fucking my little brother behind my back.”
I jerked out of the hug so fast I nearly fell down. “What the fuck, Holden! You just said—”
He laughed, and I faltered. I glanced up at Flynn, who looked just as confused as I was.
“Sorry,” Holden said. “You deserved a little shit after hiding this from me.”
“I’m real sorry about that,” Flynn said.
“He wanted to tell you from the start, but I knew you’d bring up school, and I wasn’t ready to talk about all that.”
Holden nodded. “I understand, but from now on, we need to be honest, Bailey. Even if it’s hard, even if we’re not on the same page. If I don’t like what you have to say, I’ll get over it. But do not hide what you’re feeling.”
“I got it,” I said. “No more secrets.”
“Good. Now let’s go pack a bag and head home for the weekend. We’ve got a big birthday dinner planned. We’re not going to let a little crime get in the way of a good time, right?”
I grinned. “Yeah. And this year, I actually get my birthday wish.” I leaned into Flynn’s side. “Right, babe?”
“Whatever you want,” Flynn said.
“Just you.” I smiled up at him, sappy as shit, but I didn’t care. I felt a hundred pounds lighter after coming clean to Holden.
Tonight had started off shitty, but it had forced me to face some hard truths, and what do you know? The sky hadn’t fallen on my head.
Holden was disappointed, even if he didn’t lay all the blame on me. I hoped I could make it up to him, and that eventually he’d see that he’d already given me everything I needed to make good choices.
To live right and to live happy.
With my brothers. At home.
With Flynn by my side.