23. Chase
News spread like wildfire around this office. The faculty were in the lounge on our floor talking about the accident of “beloved student Nate Atkins”.
“You look unusually annoyed, Dr. Lowe,” one of the old hags that flirted with me daily said to me as she droned on and on about how sad it was what happened, “I can’t believe you won’t be attending the funeral for Nate.”
“I wouldn’t feel comfortable in that environment,” I said truthfully, though I would’ve gone if it were an open casket, to really admire my work. But it wasn’t, “feels like an insult to the family to go when I wasn’t personally involved.”
Her frown deepened, showing off the intense frown lines. Her frizzy red hair fell in long stringy strands around her face. God, she was annoying. I didn’t even know her name as her voice pierced my thoughts, “Well, I’m going to go,” her hand ran up my arm, “I was thinking maybe we could meet up afterwards, you know, now that you and her aren’t a thing anymore.”
She was walking a wafer thin line bringing up Emma. I didn’t know what anyone did or didn’t know about our relationship, but one thing was fucking clear, she was in fact mine. Whether she agreed to it or not.
“I don’t know what you’re trying to say,” I told her, shrugging her off of me. Her face fell in ugly disappointment, “but we are happily together.” I wanted to say more, I wanted to tell her that I found her repulsive and hideous. But it was getting close to the time my kitten should be showing up and I didn’t want to waste more time on the unfortunate looking woman.
Her jaw dropped as she sputtered for words, reminding me of a fish out of water. I left her standing, not interested in anything more, making my way down the elevator to Emma’s office. The commotion of Nate’s death was weird to me. Who really cared about him to begin with? Just like with Murdock, everyone was feigning giving a fuck when in one or two days it would blow over and he would be forgotten.
Could never be me.
As I turned into the back cubicles where Emma and Anna worked, I saw her before she saw me, her eyes red with tears, her chest heaving as she spoke with Anna, a shrill sob left her throat as she turned towards me.
“You,” she pointed her shaking finger at me, “he’s dead, Chase.”
Ah, so she found out.
I didn’t know what to do with my face, so I just blinked.
Anna wrapped her arms around Emma embracing her, but her eyes never left mine as more tears rained down her puffy cheeks. Anna looked like shit as well, as if she’d been crying all day and night. Ugh, all of this over Nate? I thought it was unbelievable the impact a tiny little ant of a human being could make on one office.
“I just can’t believe he’s gone,” Anna sniffed pulling away from Emma, “we were just talking to him last Friday. When I got the news I just,” she sputtered wiping her nose on her sleeve sniffing, “I just didn”t want to believe it.”
Emma’s entire body was convulsing at this point, I went to her trying to take her in my arms when she shoved me away, “No!” she pushed at my chest shoving past me, creating more distance between us, “Don’t touch me, Dr. Lowe.”
Her nostrils flared as she glared at me, the tears never stopped flowing and watching them confused me. Nate and her weren’t dating anymore, he was trying to take her from me, he was trying to come between us. Emma was my entire heart outside of my body, she was the only thing I lived for, so why was she upset that she now had one less problem without him?
“Anna, please tell our boss I’m leaving,” she stormed out through the doors, a crying mess leaving me standing there unsure and awkward.
Anna took her seat back at her desk, blowing her nose loudly, shaking me from my confusion.
I took off after Emma, catching her just as the elevator opened. She slammed her finger on the close button just as I wedged my foot between the doors. She huffed as I got in.
“Emma,” I said softly, reaching for her, “I don’t understand why you’re upset.”
She moved out of my reach holding her pointer finger up, “Don’t fucking touch me Chase.”
“Kitten, I don’t…,” I started before she cut me off.
“You did this,” her voice whispered, “didn’t you?”
I just looked at her, we were having this conversation again? I thought we were perfect after the weekend, I thought everything was on an understood level. No one touched what was mine and got to live to tell the tale.
“Emma, you’re mine. He tried to kiss you, he touched you, he,” I was starting to stumble over my words, “he was trying to take you from me.”
The elevator had stopped moving and we were on the first floor, her eyes wide in disbelief just staring at me as I spoke the words. She still cried silently, her features morphing to something unpleasant.
“You’re fucked in the head,” she whispered, “I can’t believe I let you fuck me.”
Her feet moved quickly as she made her way out of the building and out into the empty campus toward the bus stop.
“Emma, what do you want from me? I told you the truth like you asked me to do,” my eyes scanned the surrounding area to see if there was anyone watching before I grabbed a hold of her arm.
She whipped around to face me, “Get off me.”
“Kitten, don’t do this to me,” I pleaded with her.
“Don’t call me that!” she snapped, “You have no regard for human life, you have no remorse! Do you even care that someone is fucking dead! You killed him,” her voice broke then, “You killed that random person, you stole a car to make it look like an accident,” her voice was getting shrill as her words tumbled out, “You mutilated a woman and threw her in a body of water. And I justified it. I gaslit myself into making it okay, because of how badly I wanted you to want me.”
“I did all of that for you my sweet kitten,” I tightened my grip on her arm, “all of those things brought me to you, you’re who I”m meant to be with. I want you more than I”ve wanted anything in my life. I belong to you, and you belong to me.”
“You didn’t do shit for me,” she spat trying to pull her arm free of me. “You manipulated me, you made me think for a second that I was special. But I”m not, not to you. Whenever something doesn”t fit in your life plan, you get rid of it. And I refuse to stick around and wait for you to do the same damn thing to me. And I don”t belong to anyone,” her snarl as she spoke the last words gave me chills, “and I don’t want you to belong to me.”
My grip intensified on her arm. She was not going to leave me. I wouldn’t allow it.
“You aren’t leaving me Emma,” I snarled.
Her gaze hardened as she jerked in my grip, “Yes I am.”
She thrashed to get her arm free, and when that didn’t work, she reared her leg back and kicked me in the dick. Fire shot up through my torso landing like a fucking rock in the pit of my stomach as I doubled over.
“Don’t contact me anymore Professor Lowe,” she spat the words at me while I gripped my balls willing for the pain to subside. I felt like I couldn”t even speak, the pain was like rushing water through my ears. The only thing I could hear was the voice in my head telling me to get up and take her. To take her and run far away.
“You can’t leave me,” my voice came out in a pathetic grunt.
“Worried your demented secret is gonna get out?” she mocked me as she took a few steps back.
The tingling sensation made its way down my spine as my body straightened a bit. I was throbbing in the worst way, barely able to see straight. I made eye contact with her. She looked at me with disgust.
“Kitten,” I wheezed, fearful that if I moved, my legs would give up on holding me up.
“I’m not your fucking kitten,” her voice cracked.
I went to stand and my vision blurred in a flash of agonizing white. By the time it focused, I was still hurting. Too much pain to even move and Emma was nowhere in sight.
“Emma?” I croaked.
The empty campus was the only answer as I stood crestfallen on the sidewalk. Straightening, nausea came on powerfully as I turned and threw up on the street. My eyes stung, the same way they did all those years ago.
This heartbreak though, I thought as my stomach emptied itself on the curb, I was sure I’d never recover from.