Chapter 4 #2
When I get outside, I turn left to start the long loop around the edge of the property.
As I round the lake and come to the split in the path, I stand there looking out over the water while catching my breath and deciding which one to take.
Laughing at the irony of this situation and my life, I decide to take the path that leads back around the lake towards the clubhouse.
My gut tells me to stay closer than normal.
As the path breaks through the trees beside the wall that surrounds the property, I push myself harder, sprinting the rest of the way to the clubhouse.
Slowing my pace to a slow jog as I come around the front, I take note of an SUV leaving.
Couldn’t tell you how I know it, but I can feel his eyes scanning my body.
I warm from the inside, and not because I’m running.
My core clenches at the thought of Blitz drinking me in.
Shaking my head hard to escape those thoughts, I finish my run just as the SUV exits the property.
I go to the side of the clubhouse to stretch and cool down when my phone chimes with a message.
Blitz: Please be careful while I’m gone
His text warms my chest while pissing me off simultaneously.
The same man who made it very clear this morning that I was nothing and no one is now trying to show me he cares?
Fuck that and fuck him. Maybe it’s time I finally do what I should have done when I woke up inside a goddamn motorcycle clubhouse—run far and fast. Once I’ve cooled down and gotten my emotions kind of under control, I go to get ready to meet Ainsley out by the pool.
We’ve been relaxing, laughing, and reading for a few hours when the rumble of bikes drowns out our music. Ainsley stretches, then stands from her lounger. She wraps a towel around her body, then gathers all her stuff.
“Better get in and get a shower before Mercy decides it’s not an option.” Ainsley winks at me.
I just chuckle and get up to follow suit, knowing that I’m going to need to be behind the bar for the guys.
I head inside and hustle through a quick shower.
Just as I step out of my bathroom into my room, there is a hard knock on my door.
With my towel wrapped around me, I throw on my robe before answering the door.
My eyes go wide when I see the man on the other side.
“Mercy, um, what can I do for you?” I stumbled over my words.
His eyes never leave my face but are as hard as ever. “Terro needs you now.”
“Do I have a second to put clothes on?” I mumble looking at my feet as fear rises to suffocate me.
Mercy just shrugs and steps back, leaning against the wall across from my door, arms crossed over his chest. Closing the door to my room, I take several deep breaths, trying to fight the panic attack rising.
Wildly I look around the room for an escape.
Terro having Mercy escort me to talk to him could only mean they know something that could cause them concern.
I don’t have any idea how long it takes for me to finally get my spinning thoughts under control before I’m able to get dressed.
Just as I slide my feet into my sandals, there are three hard knocks on my door, causing my heart to drop into my ass.
“Coming,” I yell nervously, swallowing the bile pushing up my throat.
I pull the door open to find Mercy’s ever-present glare there. He gives me a nod before stepping back so I can step through the door. Looking over my shoulder, I raise an eyebrow in silent question to Mercy.
“His office,” his tone is bored.
Nodding, I turn away and fight my instincts to run away from the predator at my back.
We make it to the end of the hallway and find the great-room full of brothers and Club Bunnies.
I search the room, sighing when I find Twitch behind the bar, thankful that it’s not a Club Bunny fucking up my stuff.
I turn left and go down the long hallway with all the offices.
We pass the first door, which is Prez’s office.
The door on the right is the conference room where outsiders are brought in for meetings.
We finally make it to the second door on the left and find it slightly open.
I stop, taking a deep, calming breath before raising my hand to knock on the door.
Through the crack, I watch as Terro lifts his head and our eyes collide.
When I see care and concern on his face, some of the anxiety and stress fall away marginally.
He waves me in, so I pull up my figurative big-girl panties and push through the door.
The sound of the door clicking closed behind me has me spinning around and releasing an inaudible sigh when I don’t see Mercy right behind me.
“Charlie girl, come sit,” Terro calls to me.
Spinning around, I drag my feet to the chair across from his desk.
Sitting down, I finally realize that Anvil is leaning against the wall behind Terro.
I sit on the edge of the chair, back straight, hands in my lap.
Anvil peels himself off the wall and stalks towards me, squatting down when he reaches me.
“Breathe, sweet girl,” he mutters. “We just want to check in on you.”
My eyes come up to meet Anvil’s and then Terro’s over his shoulder, the fear and anxiety refusing to let go.
“Check on me?” I question.
Anvil reaches out, causing me to flinch before I can stop myself. Instantly I drop my eyes to my hands, apologizing. Anvil slowly drops his hand and moves back, giving me space.
“Yes. We know Blitz is your anchor, your safe place,” Terro says gently, almost hesitantly. “It's just … this is the longest stretch he won't be here since you arrived. We wanted to check in, make sure you’re comfortable, and that being behind the bar won't feel too overwhelming.”
Searching his eyes for any chance of him misleading me, I find nothing. “Thank you, but at this moment I think I’m okay.”
Terro sits back in his chair, and Anvil sits on the corner of Terro’s desk.
“Okay, we’re looking to have an open party to try to pull in some new prospects. Anvil has a couple of his military buddies who are looking to be sponsored. Do you think you’ll be up for that?” Terro asks me, eyeing me closely.
Even with the stress of being here, I relax back into my chair slightly. “Depending on the size of the party, I may need another bartender to help me, but I should be good to handle it.”
“I’m not sure an outside bartender is what we need to do right now. Is there any of the Club Bunnies that you would be okay with helping you?” Anvil asks thoughtfully.
Something about his tone of voice makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck. I think over who we currently have around the club, not really excited about anyone that is available.
“Does Ainsley or Tasia have any bartending experience?” I inquiry thoughtfully.
Terro and Anvil chuckle, shaking their heads, making both look like bobbleheads.
“Charlie girl, we all know the last thing we need right now is Ol’ Ladies serving drinks to assholes during an open club party. Are you sure that there isn’t anyone else you could use?”
“What about Sunny?” Anvil asks. “I’m pretty sure when she was stripping she would also bartend some.”
I think about Sunny and her sweet personality. I still wonder every day how she ended up here with us, or stripping for that matter. Out of all my options, it seems she’s my only choice.
Sighing, I nod. “Can she have a couple of days off duty before the party? That way she can work with me and get trained? I just want to make sure she’s okay and won't get too overwhelmed.”
To my complete surprise, Anvil’s face goes hard at my request, but he says nothing as Terro agrees. I’m finally able to relax when Terro shatters every ounce of calm that has settled in.
“We need you to do something for the club over the next few weeks.” Terro’s eyes harden, becoming the Vice President that he is.
“With Blitz gone and not hovering, the guys may get a little more loose-lipped at the bar and with you.
We want you to keep an ear out for someone not being as truthful and upfront as they're supposed to be.”
Swallowing hard, I nod slowly. I’m barely able to get words out when I ask, “Is there anything in particular that I need to keep an ear out for?”
“Not directly,” Anvil starts. “We got a hint that there might be someone feeding information where it shouldn’t be. It could be anyone—brother, Club Bunny, hanger-on, or associate of the club. You know how people get with the bartender. Lips get loose and things get said.”
Sweat rolls down my back, caused by stress and anxiety. “Yeah, I think I can do that.”
“I knew you would, Charlie girl. You’ve always put the club first.” Terro smiles softly at me, making my heart stutter and shatter because they have no idea who or what I am.
Fighting every fiber of my being to not blurt out the truth to the men sitting in front of me, I stand and move to the door.
“Charlie,” Anvil calls out. “If you hear, see, or find out anything having to do with someone betraying the club, be sure to let us know. We wouldn’t want suspicion to land on you seeing as your past is still pretty murky and unknown.”
I don’t turn and look at them. “I understand. When you have the details for the open club party, let me know so I can be sure we’ve got everything we need ready to go.”
“Thank you, Charlie,” Terro answers me.
As quickly as I can, I pull the door open and rush out into the hallway.
Instead of taking the right to go back towards the great room, I turn left, rushing towards the back exit.
I need out. To get some space where I can catch my breath as the memories of a very similar conversation try to pull me under and swallow me whole.
It’s been so long since memories of NOS have tried to drown me that all the mental tools I used to cope have gone out the damn window.
I barely make it through the door before I hit my knees, throwing up while tears stream down my face.
The weight of the lies is trying to pull me under and silence me forever.
A small hand rubs my back, scaring the ever-living hell out of me.
Without thinking, I wrench away from the touch, falling on my ass and shaking with adrenaline and fear.
I scut away from the figure, tears still running down my face, blurring my vision.
It takes longer than I want to admit to get my fear, stress, and anxiety under control enough to see who is there.
Sunny is sitting in the dirt cross-legged, just taking me in.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to act like a rabid animal,” I state flatly, coming across like a bitch unable to stop myself.
“It’s okay. You're not the first person to get pissy when feeling like a cornered animal. I was reading a book in the shade over there and saw you burst through the door. I didn’t want you to be alone while so upset.
Now you're okay, so… yeah.” Sunny says so softly that her words don’t hold the sting they would’ve if coming from anyone else.
Sitting there in the dirt on my ass, covered in sweat, tears, and vomit, I watch as Sunny walks back over to the blanket she has spread out under a large tree and picks up her book.
I’m too stunned to speak, and I don’t know if it’s because of her or the rollercoaster that is my mental state right now.
I draw my knees towards my chest, embrace them with my arms, and rest my head, letting my thoughts wander.
I allow the box with my past crammed in it at the back of my mind to open, just enough to remember what is at stake if I don’t keep my shit together . .. my life!