Chapter 9 #2
Once she was nude, Monster wrapped his arms around her waist, feet swaying, as he walked toward the extra-large garden tub.
When he stepped over the side, Carys protested. “I am perfectly capable myself, Monster.” Her voice held a cold and distant edge. Apparently, she’d come fully awake and wasn’t going to be compliant.
“You’re capable of more than even you know, sweetheart, but let me do this for you, please?”
Carys remained stiff in his arms as Monster sank down into the steaming water, but she didn’t protest again.
Once settled, he positioned her in front of him, between his legs. “Relax.”
He coaxed her to lean back. It felt perfect to have her there, and even Ulf relaxed.
For long moments, Monster just held her.
“What’s going to happen to me?”
Monster heard the fear in her voice, and it made him cringe. He’d done that. He let her believe the club might hold her hostage or hurt her. While he never said so, he didn’t dispel her obvious beliefs.
Reaching for the body wash, he squirted a healthy amount onto a bath sponge before drawing it gently up and down her arm.
First one, then the other. Monster reached around and washed her torso under the water. Avoiding her breasts and pussy, he continued to wash her. This was about her, pampering her, making her feel loved.
His choice of words rocked him back on his heels. Was it love? Monster couldn’t say one hundred percent, but the thought of losing her made him want to let Ulf have his body forever so he could sleep until he withered away.
That’s not how it is anymore.
Ulf spoke in his mind with a touch of self-satisfaction.
His wolf was right. Now that he’d found himself, for lack of a better term, Monster didn’t slip away when Ulf came out, and obviously Ulf didn’t slip back when Monster was in the driver’s seat.
“Nothing bad, Pixie.”
Three words were all he could choke out.
“Lean back.”
Gently, he coaxed her back to wet her hair.
Once she was back against his chest, Monster rubbed some shampoo into his palms and proceeded to wash her hair.
Rinse, repeat, and condition.
Carys still wasn’t talking to him.
“Up we go.” Monster stood with Carys and grabbed a couple of towels. She took hers from him rather than let him dry her.
After drying himself, he reached for a smaller towel and started drying her hair vigorously.
Her laugh, distorted by his shaking her head while rubbing her cropped hair, shot to his soul. He was afraid he’d never hear it again.
“What are you doing, Arden?”
Arden.
It flowed from her lips so naturally. It wasn’t spoken with a sneer this time or to create distance.
“I told you,” he said, tossing the towel aside and wrapping his arms around her from behind. “Taking care of you.”
Her laughter died, and she nibbled her lip. “You really hurt me.”
Not wanting to lose the easy mood he’d barely created, he spun her around and sat her on the counter.
Caging her thighs with his arms, he leaned in so they were eye to eye.
“I know, and I’m sorry. I wish I didn’t have to apologize.” The raising of her eyebrow said she’d misunderstood his words. “What I mean is I wish I hadn’t hurt you, didn’t have something to apologize for. The fact is, I do need to, and I will. I’m kinda stupid at this whole … thing.”
Looking down, she spoke softly. “I poured out my soul, and you just stared at the road. But I could understand that. What I can’t seem to just accept was how you looked at me, like I was your enemy.”
Her words were like a knife to his chest, one he’d put there himself. Cupping her cheeks, Monster did his best to explain.
“I heard your father ask if you’d gotten the information from me.
I didn’t hear anything before that, and when you turned and looked in my eyes, I saw guilt, and part of me convicted you right then and there.
It wasn’t right, I know that, but I can’t take that back.
I wish I fucking could, but I can’t. However, the enemy I hated in that moment wasn’t you, Pixie, it was me.
Ulf was howling at me to be fair, but I ignored him. ”
He shook his head, trying to dislodge the words he needed but couldn’t seem to find.
“After … Kansas, my head was wrong. I don’t know how to explain it, but my thoughts barely made sense to me. I was warring with emotions, and Ulf wouldn’t shut up. It overwhelmed my higher reasoning capacity. I’m not used to having Ulf there. Not coherent anyway.”
“What?”
He barked a humorless laugh. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not an excuse.”
“I’m not asking for an excuse, just an understanding.”
Monster searched her gaze and found nothing but truth and concern. This was supposed to be about her. Him apologizing, but instead, she’d turned the table.
“Long story short. Ulf broke free when I was still a boy. Too young to shift. It was violent and … anyway, it caused him to be feral. I’ve worn silver ever since to keep him from breaking loose and hurting someone.
I tried once to exist without it, and he didn’t give my body back for three days, and even then, I almost couldn’t come back. ”
Monster dropped his gaze and hands. He’d never laid himself bare like this with a woman.
Carys reached out with her hand and placed it on his chest, over his heart. The organ in question skipped a beat. “Because of that, we only shared conciseness for a few minutes or so before and after a shift.”
Monster looked up into her caring eyes. “Until you.”
Her gasp of surprise was like a balm to his soul.
“He started breaking through with more than just broken words and disjointed thoughts. An odd assortment of thoughts and incomplete pictures. I thought maybe things were starting to be okay, he’d matured enough, so I dropped the silver.
” Monster wondered if his eyes reflected the awe that he felt at bonding with his wolf.
“Then, Ulf started talking to me a lot. Complete thoughts and complex feelings, not just bits and pieces. I was convinced it was because of you.”
The relief he felt at having admitted that out loud was short-lived, because he had to keep going. All in. Honesty.
“So, when I heard your father’s words, I jumped to conclusions and Ulf was pissed. I threw him back in his cage because I didn’t want to hear him stoking my guilt. When my emotions toward you felt wrong to him, he forced a change. Something he hadn’t done since that first time.”
Everything so far had been tough, but the last was going to be tougher.
“The first time was in defense of someone I loved.” Monster stroked her cheek, watching his own finger glide across her skin.
Down her neck to her throat. As gently as he could, he held her there.
It was something he did for comfort. Feeling her pulse spoke to something deep inside him.
His hand on her neck was his equivalent of holding hands.
“I’m scared that may have been what triggered him to do it again. ”
His thumb absently stroked up her artery. The way her face ever so subtly tilted toward the action and the glassy look in her eyes told him she enjoyed it too.
Monster watched the play of emotions skitter across her blue eyes. Carys licked her lips and looked as if she had something to say, but held herself back.
“Defending you against me,” he murmured.
“Um, am I your mate?” Her voice was quiet and scared. Monster couldn’t tell if there was hope there or not because his heart was pounding so hard all he could hear was the blood rushing around his body.
“I didn’t think so until you kissed Ulf’s nose. It felt different somehow, but honestly, I don’t know. With us still blending together, I don’t have a handle on the instincts. I’ve kissed every inch of your body and I didn’t get that telltale shock Kansas described.”
The thought disappointed Monster. He realized how much he wanted her to be.
“Maybe it’s different for me, but it doesn’t matter, Pixie. I want—”
Before Monster realized what she was up to, Carys leaned forward, pressing her lips to his.
It took a moment for his shock to recede. Her tongue swept across his lips. When his brain caught up, he took over the kiss. Sweeping into her mouth like an invader.
And then it happened.
A jolt of electricity shot through his lips and settled in his soul.
Ulf howled in victory.
I knew it.
As he pulled back, he pushed her away with his grip on her neck. She bit at his lip with a mewl of protest.
“Holy shit.”
More flashes of them assaulted him. Like the first night when their eyes clashed across the bar.
Just snippets. Her in a white silk sheath dress holding a bouquet of wildflowers in one hand and her other wrapped around her mother’s arm.
Him handcuffed to the bed instead of her.
They started flying at him too fast to focus.
“You …” One word was all he could manage before his need to claim her overwhelmed him.
Tightening his grip on her neck, he pulled her close and devoured her mouth. She returned his kiss with as much enthusiasm as him, maybe more.
Thank fuck. Using his other hand, he gripped her hip and slid her to the edge of the countertop. Rocking against her ripped a groan from his throat. Tearing his lips away from hers, he spoke. His voice raspy with need.
“Need to be inside you, claiming you.” Monster was prepared to beg, but Carys halted his words when her soft hand wrapped around his cock. She stroked up and down, before she rubbed the head through her juices. He couldn’t resist thrusting up against her clit.
“I’ll need more groveling and ass-kissing to forgive you.”
“I promise, later.” He thrust into her hand.
“Oh, Arden.” She aligned the head of his cock with her pussy and rocked forward. Coaxing a few inches inside her. “Yes.”
Three letters, one syllable, and his world tilted on its axis.
It was as if that word gave him permission to unleash everything inside him into a physical manifestation. Monster had never been good with words, so he poured the pain, the love, the sorrow, and hope into every thrust, praying she could feel it all too.
Bite her. Make her ours.
It wasn’t so much Ulf’s voice as it was a whisper across his mind.
There was a slight hesitation. While she’d said yes, and she was the daughter of a wolf, she hadn’t been raised in the pack. Did she know about the claiming bite?
“Harder,” she ordered. Without thought, Monster thrust faster and deeper, but it wasn’t enough. Never enough.
Releasing his grip on her throat, he grasped both her hips, lifting her off the counter. Pulling her tight against himself and ramming her down on his cock, grinding against her.
“Fuck. Yes. Right there, Arden.”
He repeated the action again and again. The sound of her breathing and the flutter of her body told him she was close, so fucking close.
“Need to bite you.” The thought of her walking out of the bathroom without his claiming mark was unbearable.
“I don’t care what you do, don’t stop.” The last word was stuttered and drawn out. Her orgasm hit and ripped his from him. Without thought of location, he struck. He locked his teeth into the skin on her shoulder, right at the top of her bicep.
“Oh.” She groaned, and her orgasm intensified, wringing him dry.
Monster stumbled forward, resting her ass back on the counter as his knees threatened to give out. Claiming sex, even standing in a bathroom, was different from any other experience he’d ever had. More intense and … connected.
That was the overwhelming part of it to Monster, being connected to another person in a way that was unexpected and overwhelming, but in a good way.
Once his legs were solid, he carried her to his—no, their—bed.
As he snuggled in next to her, he wondered if she was feeling even a fraction of what he was. Monster wasn’t sappy and clingy, quit the opposite most would argue, but with Carys in that moment, he felt like the biggest stage-five clinger on the planet.
Pulling her into the little spoon position, he slid his hand up between her breasts to her throat. He didn’t grip, just rested it there. It was a comfort thing that calmed his soul. He kissed her cheek, and his lips came back wet.
He pulled back as if burned. “Pixie?”
When she didn’t answer, he shifted her body so he could peer down into her eyes.
“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” Do you regret it? The last he couldn’t bear to voice aloud.
She shook her head but didn’t speak.
“I need words, babe. I don’t take hints well, you know that.”
She laughed despite her tears.
“That’s the understatement of the century,” she said between sniffles before her laughter died down completely.
He couldn’t help the smile that crept across his lips.
Brushing her short locks from her face, he asked again, “So, tell me, why the tears?”
She reached up and cupped his cheek.
“I guess it’s a little of everything hitting me all at once. I feel like I boarded an emotional roller coaster, and the attendant clocked out. So, I just keep going up and down, up and down.”
Monster could relate. Boy, could he relate.