Chapter 10
TEN
CARYS
“That sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it?” Monster was just staring down at her with his intense gaze and letting her ramble. “I just mean, today was a lot.”
“I’m sorry I added to that, Pixie,” Monster apologized, and she hated it.
“I should’ve waited to claim you. Given you more time to deal with everything and more time to …
decide.” He dragged his index finger along her claiming mark, and a shudder coursed down her body.
“I’m sorry I didn’t give you …” Whatever he was going to say was lost as his voice trailed off.
A wave of lust shot through her body at his gentle caress of her claiming mark, but then the meaning of his words sank in.
“No.” She wound her hands up around his neck. “That was the only part of the day that made the rest worth getting through.”
His shy smile bottomed out her stomach. He was all hard edges and sharp angles with everyone else, but lying in bed like they were, Monster was a different person. He was Arden.
“It’s just … I can’t stop thinking about how I should’ve done things differently. Maybe if I had, Kansas would still be alive.”
“No,” Monster cut her off. “His death isn’t your fault.” A look crossed his face, and she realized something.
“If it’s not mine, then it’s not yours either.” His eyebrows rose at her in question. “Don’t look at me like that. I know that look.”
“But I …” He cut himself off and looked at her.
“Let me guess, you’re the one who brought me here in the first place.” He broke eye contact.
“If that’s what you’re thinking, then it is my fault.”
“No, Pixie. That’s not … I mean …”
He ran his hand through his hair and plopped back on the bed with a curse.
“You can’t have it both ways, Monster. If it’s not my fault, then by logic, it can’t be yours either.” She could hear the sadness and defeat in her voice. Maybe she should go. Let him sit with his grief and process it. Hell, she had some processing of her own to do.
Guilt swamped her. She’d known exactly what she was doing when she let him claim her.
He was lost in grief and passion, but she knew.
She loved him almost from first sight, and after the rejections earlier, she needed to be wanted.
In that bathroom, he wanted her. Truly and deeply, he’d wanted her, but he wasn’t in the right headspace to make that sort of life-altering decision.
Now, she was feeling sparks of regret coming from him.
“I have some things I need to handle.” She swung her feet to the floor and sat up, bringing the sheet with her. “I’ll call you when I have a free moment, and we can discuss things then.”
Monster gripped her arm when she went to stand up. “No. You can’t leave.”
Carys’s emotions were all over the place, so to say she wasn’t thinking perfectly reasonable, wouldn’t be inaccurate.
His words pissed her off.
All she wanted to do was slink off and lick her wounds. Give him time to understand if that spur-of-the-moment decision on his part was what he wanted. He indicated Ulf wanted her for a mate. He even alluded to loving her. Maybe she just wasn’t his mate, but they were bound together all the same.
Plus, she needed to prioritize her mother over whatever was or wasn’t between them. They could sort through their emotions later; she wanted every second with her mother she could have.
Maybe there wasn’t anything to discuss if he was insistent she couldn’t leave. Was he still seeing her as the enemy?
“Even after what we shared, you’re holding me here?
I told you I wouldn’t say anything. Do I need to swear an oath of fealty to your motorcycle god?
” Carys was talking nonsense now, but she couldn’t help it.
She could tell he had regrets, but to think it meant so little that he would still hold her hostage because she knew too much …
She did not have the emotional bandwidth to handle anything else. Her thoughts were all over the place too and she wasn’t rational.
She wrenched her arm from his grasp and turned to face him as she stood clutching the sheet to her chest. He was smirking up at her, the arrogant prick. Smirking up and lazily stroking his cock.
“Listen, Monster.” Yep, she spat his road name at him.
“I’ve known about shifters since I could fucking walk and I’ve never said a word.
Hell, I clocked you guys in the bar within ten minutes.
As far as dear old Dad, good riddance. You did me a favor.
You rid the world of the man who killed my mother.
So, if I have to cut my palm with your boot knife and bleed into a gasoline fire over an oil drum while making motorcycle sounds, I will, but I’m leaving … why are you laughing?”
He was practically crying because he was laughing so hard. Frustrated that his merriment was starting to get to her, she kneeled on the bed and slapped his chest.
“My freedom is not funny.” Monster captured her hands, holding them against his chest.
“No, sweetheart, it’s not,” he said between laughs. “But a blood sacrifice over a gas fire?” He laughed again, and it was contagious. Carys bit her lip in an effort not to laugh.
His face grew serious, but it looked like it took effort. “We actually all spit in an oil can and you have to chug it while we sing Welcome to the Jungle.”
They both burst out laughing then. “Gross.” She managed between bouts and chest slaps.
This was a side of Monster that people didn’t see. Most just saw a big, scary, brooding biker, but she was gifted with this side of him, and she loved it.
Pushing her merriment aside, she asked, “If it's not for the club, then why can’t I leave, Arden?”
He stared up into her eyes while brushing her wispy bangs aside before leaning up for a quick kiss. He twisted around to rummage through the bedside table drawer.
“Here, hold this,” he said as he pressed a small velvet bag into her hand. It was light and felt empty.
Reaching to his left dislodged her a bit from her half-position on his chest, so she sat back on her knees to watch as he cuffed one hand to the bed. She hadn’t noticed the sliver cuffs hanging from the rings where her leather cuff had hung.
Had it really been less than a day since he’d cuffed her there?
When Monster had the left wrist cuffed, he raised his right arm to the other one. “A little help, Pixie?” Without thought, she straddled him and did as he asked after placing the string of the little bag between her teeth.
“Didn’t you say you wanted to do this?”
She nodded as she retrieved the bag from her mouth and stared down at him.
Carys had a lady boner from the sight before her. A strong alpha male like Monster, cuffed to the bed … at her mercy was hot. The position of power he put her in was sexy. Most men were too insecure to do something like that, and it was a massive turn-on for her.
Monster was a man who was fucking impenetrable with everyone else, but vulnerable with her.
She was lost in taking inventory of the moment and rocking against his abs. Her brain was wavering between the hornball side of her brain and the side that was trying to understand what it all meant.
“Ask me again, Pixie.” His husky voice cut through her intrusive thoughts.
“What?”
“Ask me again why you can’t leave.” His voice sounded cocky, as always, but his eyes were unsure.
“Okay, why can’t I leave?”
“Because you hold the only key.” He shifted his eyes to where her hand caressing his pec had the little velvet bag dangling from her fingers.
Opening the bag, she pulled out the little silver handcuff key.
“You always will.”
It felt like forever that she stared at it lying in her palm. It wasn’t a key; it was a metaphor.
It was—she shot her gaze to his eyes—his heart.
“Does this mean … do you …” she trailed off, not wanting to assume, but it was there in his eyes, she was sure.
“Isn’t it obvious? You own me, Pixie.”
You own me wasn’t exactly the three words she’d hoped to hear, but they might as well have been coming from Monster.
Leaning down, she devoured his mouth. There was truth in his kiss. He loved her. His lips said what his voice hadn’t.
She levered herself up. “Now, what am going to do with all this power?” She dangled the key in front of his face.
“Whatever you want, babe. As long as it involves you riding my face or cock.”
His words caused a shudder to track down her spine. Placing the key back in the velvet bag, she laid it on the bedside table and started to crawl up his body.
“Face first, then, if you do a good job, I’ll let you fuck me.” The man had her speaking in a way she never did, but he just brought it out in her.
“That’s my good girl.”
Carys never knew she had a praise kink, but when he said my good girl, it went straight to her clit.
“Are you blushing, Pixie?”
She wouldn’t meet his eyes.
“Why? There is nothing between us that should be embarrassing.”
“Because,” she whispered like someone might overhear them. “I don’t talk like that. You bring it out in me, I guess.” Her cheeks were on fire with the admission.
“Look at me,” he ordered gently. When she did, she saw such tender honesty in his gaze.
“And you think I’m an overly emotional fuck normally? No, but you bring that out in me, only you. Now, get up here and sit on my face. Now.”
“Topping from the bottom, are we?”
Monster’s laugh vibrated through his abs right against her clit. She wondered if she could come from dry humping his abs.
“And what do you know about that?” He asked with amusement.
“Nothing actually, it was in a book I read once. I bet you can teach me though.” She spoke as she made her way toward his mouth. She stopped her progress when she felt the evidence of his claiming between her thighs.
“What’s the holdup? Bring that pussy up here, or I’m busting out of these cuffs and fucking you into next week.”
It wasn’t an idle threat. She knew he could do it. They didn’t feel like police grade.
“Um, you came inside me earlier.”