Chapter 14
PAGAN
The boys were quiet during our journey to California. We flew to Denver to catch the connecting flight to San Diego, but I didn’t have time to see Ash, which was probably a blessing in disguise.
It would be awkward as fuck trying to explain that I was on my way to see my drug-addicted ex, get her away from her violent boyfriend, and talk her into rehab. Plus, I had my boys with me, and it wasn’t the right time or situation to introduce them.
It was becoming more obvious that my and Aislynn’s lives were polar opposites. She was from a good, loving family, raised by a good woman, and protected by the men in her life. She was beautiful as well as smart, with a bright future ahead of her.
I had a dead-beat dad, a drug-addicted, alcoholic mother, and an estranged half-brother. I’d just about managed to graduate high school before I joined the military, and now I was an outlaw who hung out with strippers and whores.
Hardly the catch of the century.
I never thought it was possible to want someone like that; to hunger for more than you could have. To feel a hollowness that could only be filled by getting so close to a person that you’d want to fuse yourself to them just to make the emptiness go away.
These past months with Aislynn had made me greedy, even though I kept my distance and played it cool, I would have done anything to have her there with me as I walked my boys to a cab, loaded their shit, and saw them off safely.
A friend was meeting me with the bike I kept in his garage.
I rode it whenever I was in California to see the boys.
I didn’t do cages, though I reckoned that shit would have to change soon.
If my boys were gonna come live with me, I’d need wheels.
I could hardly get a prospect to take them everywhere.
Just one more thing to do on my mile-long list of shit to organize.
My life wasn’t my own. On top of running the club and getting my boys and their mom sorted out, I was supposed to give Aislynn attention, too.
Not for the first time, I wished I could go back to the days when I could crook a finger to get some female company and then leave it in the rearview when I was done.
Everything was a lot less complicated back then.
Setting up the club was taking up all my time.
It didn’t help that I needed eyes in the back of my head to keep tabs on Huntley and his law enforcement boys, either.
Add on moving my boys to Coal Creek, finding and furnishing a house, and getting their mom into treatment, and it left no time for Aislynn, especially when she lived so far away because I had to factor a five-hour ride into the equation, too.
It was no wonder I was stressed to fuck.
The ride was uneventful. Once I got out of San Diego, it was pretty much plain sailing. The Kings of Anarchy mother chapter was situated in a town called Anarchy in Kings County, but I wasn’t riding that far east. Instead, I headed to Santee, just outside El Cajon, where Bree lived.
I made good time on my bike, which was what I’d aimed to do. I wanted to get to Bree before Rex and Roman did, just so I could get the lay of the land and talk to her without them there.
As soon as I pulled up outside the house, I could see something was wrong.
Bree had always been house proud. She’d nag me to mow the lawn out front and back and to keep the place looking nice. Now the grass was knee high, and the driveway had a beat-up old Ford balancing on bricks because the wheels had been taken off.
Fuck me, I hadn’t knocked on the damned door yet, and I was already irritated to fuck. This wasn’t how I wanted my boys to live. There was no way I would have left them in a dump. It was the reason I paid their mother more than enough green to make sure they all lived large, Bree included.
I dismounted, then took off my helmet and hung it from the handlebars before heading down the path and rapping hard on the front door.
Silence.
I knocked again with my fist, thudding hard and continuously until I heard a muttered voice from inside the house, saying, “Alright, alright. I’m coming,”
The chain rattled behind the door, and it cracked open.
Shoving my boot inside the threshold, I pushed the door hard and stepped inside, watching with distaste as my ex-woman staggered backward against the wall.
Breanna had always been pretty. Not beautiful and charismatic like Aislynn, but still, she was appealing with black, shiny hair, and big light-blue eyes that seemed to take up half her face.
Now, those eyes were dull and empty, the pupils blown from drug use.
Her skin was sallow, and her hair was greasy and unkempt.
My heart sank.
She was further gone than I realized.
Her eyes fixated on me, but she was so high it took her a few seconds to focus before she slurred, “Hey. Where are the boys?”
“On their way,” I replied. “Put ’em in a cab.”
“Oh,” she said, looking as if she hadn’t taken in a word I said.
“You been on the blow?” I demanded.
“Yeah, I had a bump,” she admitted. “I wasn’t expecting the boys back yet.” She wandered toward the living room, gesturing at me to follow.
“It’s Sunday,” I reminded her. “I gave you the flight times. Thought you might be at the airport to meet them off the plane.”
“The car’s in the garage,” she lied through her teeth.
“What garage?” I asked, walking into the living room and almost shuddering at the smell of drugs and nicotine permeating the air. “I’ll go down and see if I can hurry ’em up. You need wheels.”
“It’s okay,” she said vacantly. “I can deal with it.”
“What garage?” I insisted.
Her eyes flashed, which was a relief; anything was better than her acting like a fucking zombie, spaced out on drugs,
“It’s fine,” she insisted, sharper that time.
I folded my arms across my chest and dipped my chin. “Why are you lyin’ to me?”
“I’m not,” she began. “I—”
I leaned down and hissed, “Stop fuckin’ lyin’ to my face.”
She looked down and shifted on her feet.
I scraped a hand down my face, studying her. Jesus, she really was a mess. There was no way she was just taking coke. I knew the signs; God knows I’d dealt with it every day of my childhood.
“What you takin’, Bree?” I asked.
“I’m okay, Aiden,” she murmured. “I’ve just not been sleeping well lately, so Kev got me something to help me out. I’m going to stop. I promise.”
“Darlin’,” I said quietly. “I can’t help you unless you tell me everythin’.”
Her eyes lifted to meet mine, and they filled with tears. “Don’t take the boys away.”
“I don’t wanna do that,” I assured her. “But you gotta get help, Bree. I’m not lettin’ my sons grow up the way I did. I’ll get you checked into a place where you can dry out and get some counselin’, but it can’t be here. Gonna take you and the kids to Wyoming.”
“Kev won’t like it,” she said with a slight shake to her voice.
“That prick can fuck off,” I shot back. “I’m guessin’ he’s the one who’s been gettin’ you the blow.”
Her eyes cast down again, and she nodded.
My mouth tightened. “Pack what you need. Get a few cases together for you and the boys. I’ll ask Big Daddy for a couple of prospects to come over and pack your shit up. They can bring it over to Wyoming in a U-Haul.”
“I can’t leave just like that,” she protested.
“Why, Bree? I can enroll the boys at school in Coal Creek. We’ll find you a facility where you can get better, then set you up in a new house. That asshole you live with will have you back on the smack the second you get out of rehab. I can help you, but not from a thousand miles away.”
Breanna bit her lip nervously. “I don’t know if I can.”
A muscle ticked in my jaw.
I was giving her an out, but she wasn’t taking it.
I knew how this went. I’d lived it for years.
Did I want to take my boys away from their mom?
Hell no. But I’d be fucked if I left them in a smack house with a mother who couldn’t care for herself or them.
The place was a pigsty. It looked like nobody had dusted or vacuumed for weeks.
I could understand it if Bree worked, but she didn’t need to with the cash I sent her every month. The boys weren’t staying here.
“What the fuck ever, Bree. I’m gonna take Rex and Roman regardless,” I vowed.
“No!” she wailed. “I’ll stop. I promise.”
“Not takin’ any chances, woman. You’ve gotta choice to make now. You either choose your boys, or the smack, but you’re not havin’ both.”
She stared up at me with eyes that used to be so pretty but now were bloodshot and lifeless. “I’m their mother.”
“You are,” I agreed. “But you’re also a drug addict.” I rested a hand on her shoulder. “You know, Bree. You know everythin’ about me. And that’s why you also know I can’t leave Rex and Rome here with you like this.”
“I’ll die without them,” she cried. “I love my boys.”
“They love you too. That’s the only reason I’m givin’ you a choice.”
“I can’t leave,” she whispered. “I’m not ready.”
My lip curled. “You’re choosin’ drugs over our boys?”
“I’m not an addict,” she retorted sullenly.
My throat heated. I grabbed her arm and got down in her face. “You’re a fuckin’ mess, and so’s the house. Never seen you like this before, Breanna. You were always a good woman and a good mom. What the fuck happened?”
Her face twisted angrily, and she let out a brittle laugh.
“You’re what happened, Pagan. You! You stand there acting holier than thou, like you’re so much better than me, but really, you’re just a criminal.
I got with you when you were a Marine, but then you left the military and joined that fucking club.
You think you’re all that, but you’re not.
You’re no better than a common thief. I may take a few drugs here and there, but at least I’m honest about who I am.
You swan around like you walk on water.” She shook her head, looking me up and down in disgust. “What a joke.”
“I never put the crack pipe in your hand,” I responded. “Your punk-ass boyfriend did that.”