Chapter Fifteen #2
A knock on the door jerks me awake. I look around, panic washing over me when I don’t recognize anything around me.
As the memories come back to me, so do the tears.
I curl in on myself, working to avoid my injury and let the sobs rack my body.
I lay there alone, as I have been my entire life, finally letting it all go.
I sob for my dreams lost.
I sob because Rusher will never have the family he deserves.
I sob for the loss of Auntie Lynn.
I sob because everything I thought I knew and had under control is no longer true.
I’m so lost in my self-pity that I don’t hear the door open or footsteps come across the floor.
It isn’t until the bed dips behind me that I even know I’m no longer alone.
A soft hand wipes the hair stuck to my face by my tears.
I look up at the woman in front of me, eyes filled with so much compassion and understanding that I shatter all over again.
She doesn’t say anything but pulls my head so it’s lying in her lap.
Ainsley sits there, just running her fingers through my knotted and matted hair.
She gives me the space to break while silently letting me know I am not alone, which only causes the sobs to worsen.
Sitting up, I pull away from her. The sobs are gone, but the tears are still falling.
“Are you ready?” Her question is soft, unhurried.
Tilting my head to the side, I don’t say anything for a long moment. “Ready for what exactly?”
She lets her eyes roam over me. “Well, love, you’ve been asleep for about six hours.
I know when Raider stopped to see me on his way out last night he said you were taking a bath and to give you thirty minutes.
When I stopped by after thirty minutes, you were out cold.
So, I left and let you sleep, checking on you every so often.
Now though, I highly recommend a shower or bath because girly roses really smell like pooo …
” she ends singing the last part as if she's a member of Outkast singing Sorry Ms. Jackson.
With tears still running down my face, I throw my head back laughing.
“Wow,” Ainsley says, her voice full of awe. “You truly are beautiful.”
I blush at her words, shaking my head. “Thank you. Can you help me get to the bathroom and into the tub?”
“Absolutely, let's get you all cleaned up, then Charlie will bring us some breakfast and we can chat. Us Ol’ Ladies have got to stick together.”
“I’m sorry, did you just call me an old lady?” I ask in mock horror. “I know it’s been a rough week, but I didn’t think it had been that rough.”
Ainsley’s eyes go wide, and her mouth falls open. I burst out laughing at her face. “I’m just kidding, but we will definitely have to talk about what that means after my bath.”
She smacks my leg. “You're going to be a handful, and I can’t wait to watch you bring Raider to his knees.” She stands holding her hands out. “For now though, let's get you squeaky clean and then Charlie and I will tell you whatever you want to know about the men of King of Anarchy.”
I take her hands, making my way to my feet, testing my bad leg to see if I could put pressure on it.
The injury pulls, causing my leg to give out.
Ainsley catches me by the arm, making sure I don’t fall.
We slowly make our way into the bathroom where she leaves me leaning on the bathroom counter so she can start the water in the tub.
“Alrighty, I’m going to help you into the bath, and while you’re relaxing, I’ll grab you some clothes and see if Hermes has your phone ready.
Then I’ll come back and wash your hair for you so we can make sure you don’t get your leg wet.
Don’t worry, Remedy left us with everything we will need to doctor and bandage it if you do. ”
“Wow, you all really have it all together,” I comment as I strip off my clothes
Ainsley chuckles under her breath. “Not even in the slightest, but the guys make sure the women are all taken care of and have what we need.”
A nod is all I have to give her because outside of Auntie Lynn, I’ve never had anyone take care of anything.
It was always just Rusher and me picking up and moving at the drop of a hat when Shea would show up wild and distraught, starting over in a new town and new place, finding a new job, and pinching pennies.
I am too scared to believe the people here are going to be anything for us.
Raider will tire of me, and then I’ll be alone and jobless with nowhere to go. Oh shit, my job.
“Oh fuck, I need to call Erin Rose at Petty Cleaning. I don’t even know how long I’ve been gone. I was supposed to be working,” I gasp, panic rising in my chest.
Ainsley looks up at me, eyes wide. “It’s been you the whole time! Oh my god, Charlie is going to eat this shit up.”
“What in the world are you talking about?” I’m finally undressed and hobbling to the tub. Ainsley helps me climb in and get seated with my leg propped on the side of the tub.
“Alright, you soak. I’ll be back in a bit to finish up and with all the goods.”
I watch her retreat, closing the door behind her as she goes.
I lay my head back on the side of the tub, closing my eyes and trying to relax.
The water is hot and soaking into my sore muscles, helping to pull the tension out a little at a time.
Lying there, I slowly unpack the feeling now that it's not all so raw and overwhelming.
Auntie Lynn is gone. I will never hear her laugh and words of nonsense that somehow always end up being words of wisdom.
The knowledge that at any moment Shea could get her hands on Rusher, snatching him away to parts unknown.
The knowledge that I have no fucking idea what happened with her and Raider.
Worst of all is trying to figure out if I can trust and believe what he is saying and doing.
Who is lying? Is it Shea lying about him not wanting her or the baby, so she was in danger, or is it Raider knew nothing at all about Rusher and is truly shocked by him?
The tears start again, running completely unchecked, and I don’t even try to stop them.
I let myself feel the emotions and try my best to process things so that when I get out of this tub, I can hold my head high and start dealing with things.
If there is one thing I will not do, it is let the assholes win.
I’m done letting Shea run my life and rule the world like she doesn’t have consequences.
I must have drifted off to sleep again because before I know it there is a soft knock on the door and Ainsley is poking her head around the door with a small smile.
“Are you ready to get your head scrubbed?” She smiles.
I nod, giving her a genuine smile. “Yeah, let’s do it. I’m getting hungry.”
“A woman after my own heart.” Ainsley bounces over and does exactly that.
We shampoo and condition my hair twice before she deems it clean.
She then helps me out of the tub and into the bedroom, where I find the woman who was behind the bar when I first arrived.
Ainsley hands me a pile of clothes. I find a tank top with a built-in bra, a pair of flared yoga pants, and a worn-looking hoodie.
Pulling it over my head, I don’t even try to hide the moment I pull the collar up to my nose, breathing in deeply. It smells just like Raider.
“I pulled it out of his closet. Figured it would give you some comfort,” the new woman says.
I give them both grateful smiles. “Thank you. It’s Charlie, right?”
Her face lights up. “That’s me. I’m so glad to see you're back and okay. We were all so worried about you.”
I don’t know what to say or how to feel at the thought of others worrying about me. My gaze flicks between them as my anxiety and nervousness grow.
“Sit and eat something before you fall over,” Charlie finally states so I don’t have to say anything.
Sliding onto the bed, I shift so that I’m in the center and able to lean back on the headboard.
Ansley hands me a plate with crackers, cheese, meats, and some fruit.
I take a bite and groan. My stomach growls, finally letting me know I am in fact ravenous.
We sit in comfortable silence as we munch on the food.
Looking around the room, I did not see a window or clock.
“Umm, what time is it?” I ask them.
Charlie pulls out her phone. “It is just past ten in the morning. Sorry, I didn’t have more breakfast food for you. The guys came in just as I finished cooking and wiped everything out.”
“Oh,” I fight the urge to ask about Raider, instead staying on a safe subject. “What day is it? I’m still not sure how many days I’ve lost.”
“Lord, that was always one of the hardest parts once you're no longer captive,” Charlie says. “I mean until I got a routine set and went back to work, I could never keep up with a damn thing. Any who, it is Monday.”
My heart drops because that means Rusher has practice, and I don’t know whether he has what he needs or if he made it there.
My face and breathing must give away the fact I am having a silent freak out because both women look around and at each other before Charlie types away on her phone.
It’s not two minutes later that Raider comes through the door looking exhausted and stressed.
He first looks around the room before coming over to me.
He takes me in, eyes growing dark as he places his knees on the bed, leaning close.
“What’s happened? What’s wrong?” he demands, his voice hard.
I just shake my head, unable to stop the spiral of my thoughts and fears.
Like lightning, his arms snap out, fisting the hair at the base of my skull like he always does when he needs me to comply and give control over to him.
“Words, Tasia,” he growls, leaning close. “The next time I have to remind you to give me the words, I’ll be pulling you over my legs and spanking your ass.”