Chapter Seventeen
Anastasia
After Raider hands me my new phone, I immediately call Rusher. It rings for several minutes, and just when I think he isn’t going to answer it, he does.
“Ma?” He sounds out of breath.
“Oh, my sweet Rushy. You’re okay,” I sob once again because I know for a fact in this moment he really is okay.
“Ma, where are you? Are you okay?” he asks me in a hurry.
“I’m okay. I’m at the biker clubhouse,” I manage through my sobs.
“We just got done with practice, and I will be there soon,” he says, and before he hangs up, I hear him tell his friends he needs to get home right away.
I hang up the phone and find the girls watching me with soft smiles. I chuckle, wiping my tears. “I’m sorry, I’m not usually so damn weepy.”
Charlie waves me off. “If you weren’t weepy, I would worry we have another psychopath on our hands. The psycho twins are more than enough for us all.”
“Are you talking about the two really, really big scary guys that say nothing, but you know are reading your weaknesses like it’s their job?” I whisper, looking between them.
They both burst out laughing.
“Oh my god. I have never heard a more exact description of them,” Ainsley gasps out between giggles.
I look between the two of them, completely lost on how they find them fun at all. They finally get their giggles under control, and Ainsley drops a bomb that leaves my head spinning.
“The more talkative of the two is my ol’ man,” her smile and eyes go soft.
I look between the two of them, waiting for them to tell me they are joking.
“Are you serious?” I know I sound judgy, but I can’t stop myself from speaking. “He’s fucking scary. I know I sound like a bitch right now, but blink if you need saving.”
Charlie and Ainsley both burst out laughing so hard that they fall off the bed. I just shake my head in disbelief. It takes them a lot longer to get themselves under control than before, and when they do, they come to sit beside me, each wrapping an arm around me.
“He is big, intimidating, has the emotions and ability to recognize emotions like a rock, and there is definitely a touch of psychopath there as well, but he is mine and I love him with everything I have,” Ainsley tells me.
“That’s the biggest thing about these men. They’ve all been through some shit and have walls built up so high you think you’ll never see past them. When they let you in though, it’s the safest, softest, and best place in the world to be,” Charlie says, a hint of longing in her voice.
“Right now, everyone is majorly on edge with the sex trafficking ring and the fact that they keep finding connections to people in the club,” Ainsley murmurs, looking sad.
“Hopefully, they will have it all figured out soon so we can finally enjoy the great things happening for the club,” Charlie cheers.
A set of hurried knocks catch our attention, and Ainsley squeezes me tight before standing to go answer the door.
She pulls it open and standing in the doorway is my heart and soul, still sweaty and dirty from practice.
Rusher’s eyes scan the room quickly, and when they land on me, I don’t see the half-grown man looking back at me.
All I see is my baby. Heartbroken, scared, and completely devastated.
Without a word, I hold my arms out for him, and he comes to me and wraps me in a hug so tight I can’t breathe.
“I got you,” I whisper, his hold on me tightening.
“You just walked out. I thought you were never coming back,” Rusher mumbles. “I tried to be strong, like you always taught me to be, but it was hard.”
“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry,” is all I can say as he shatters in my arms.
“You were gone, and Auntie Lynn was gone. I was so scared,” he says just as the sobs take over him.
Sitting in that bed, I make a silent promise to him. I will fight until my heart no longer beats to make sure he never feels like this again. We’ve both been through so much, and it all ends now. I will not let anyone take anything else from him.
“We’re going to be okay. From here on out, it’s going to be better. No more running, no more taking small pieces from people. We’re going to be just fine.” I kiss the top of his head.
The sobs slow, and he pulls back, smiling up at me. “Ma, Ainsley and Charlie took me to the store and got me everything I could have ever wanted. You should have seen me out there today. It was so awesome.”
The smile on his face is so bright and happy I can’t help but smile back at him.
While on the inside, my heart stops because I have no fucking clue how I am going to pay anyone back for the equipment.
That look on his face as he talks a mile a minute about how great practice was means I will fucking figure shit out.
I lay down beside him, and we lay there like so many nights when he was smaller, talking about anything and everything that pops into his head.
At some point his stomach growls, and he pops up off the bed, phone in hand and texting a mile a minute. “I’m going to find some food. Will I see you at dinner?”
With eyes half open, I answer, “I’m going to rest. I’ll check on you in a bit.”
He grins at me, looking so much like Raider as he leans down and kisses me on the head. “You sleep, Ma.”
Before he leaves, my eyes are closed and I’m asleep. I jump, and my body tenses when I feel a hand slide across my waist.
“Shhh, just go back to sleep, Tasia,” Raider’s voice washes over me, both deep and soothing.
“Why’re you in my bed?” I grumble, trying to shift away from him.
The hand wrapped around my waist tightens, pulling me back to him. “Tasia, please. I haven’t slept more than a fucking blink in nearly a goddamn week. You can be mad about being in my room and in my bed after I’ve had some sleep. Please just let me keep you close.”
Something about his words put a small piece of my soul back in place.
How many nights, days, hell, hours did I dream of this very moment?
Of his crawling into bed with me, choosing me and not Shea.
Deciding that for tonight, for this moment, I’m going to do what I’ve been promising myself I would and I’m going to pick me and be selfish.
I wrap my arm over his, lacing our fingers and relaxing back into his chest.
“Thank fuck. I really did not like the idea of fighting you on this,” he sighs before kissing the back of my head and promptly falling asleep.
Thankfully, between one breath and the next, I fall into the best sleep I’ve ever had.
I lie to myself that it’s not because for the first time I feel safe, cared for, and happy.
The sound of a vibrating phone breaks through the very steamy dream I was having about Raider.
As I slowly wake up, I find I am laid practically all the way on top of Raider, who is on his back.
He has his left leg bent up, hiking the leg I have thrown across his waist up.
Raider has his right arm wrapped across my back, holding me tight to him with his left twisted into the hair at the base of my skull.
I shift, and two things happen. One, I get to feel Raider’s very large cock rub against my core, and two, he tightens his hold on my hair causing me to moan. The phone vibrates again, causing Raider to curse under his breath.
“Do not fucking move,” he demands as he tightens his hold for a second before letting go to reach for the phone.
“What?” he answers the call.
“We have visitors,” a voice says.
“Tell them to fuck off.” Raider’s sleep-roughened voice makes my pussy clench.
“Prez, it’s Jose, and he doesn’t look good,” the person on the other end of the phone says.
“Fucking hell, I do not have time for this shit. Let him through the gate, but do not let him anywhere near the clubhouse,” Raider instructs.
“You got it, Prez.” The other person hangs up.
Raider drops the phone on the bed beside us, sliding his hand back into my hair, using his hold to tilt my head back to meet his eyes.
“My dreams of this moment ended in so many different ways. None of them included me getting out of the bed without my dick sliding deep into your pussy. Unfortunately, that cannot happen.” Raider frowns before kissing my forehead.
I don’t even try to hide the dopey grin on my face at his words. “I can’t say I haven’t had the same dream.”
Raider grinds his solid cock up where it rests at my pussy, tightening his hold on my hair while he runs his right hand down my back, cupping my ass.
“If you keep talking to me like that, I will tell Jose Alfaro to fuck off and do all the despicable things I’ve dreamed of since I was old enough to know what fucking was to you right now.” Raider’s words are rough and dripping with need.
Being braver than I thought I could be, I shift up, planting a kiss on his mouth.
I intended it to be a soft peck only. Raider doesn’t let it be that.
He traps me to him, our mouths dancing together so softly, almost unsure.
Then, like a bomb going off, the kiss turns scorching.
He is no longer letting me lead but instead dominating me so there is no mistake about who is in charge and what he wants.
I slide fully so I’m straddling his waist and cupping his cheeks, getting lost in each other.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
“Ma, are you coming to breakfast?” Rusher yells through the door.
The pout on Raider’s face is beyond comical to see on a grown man with an impressive beard. I burst out laughing, which causes him to give me the first genuine smile I’ve seen on his face sense we were kids.
“Oh, you find this shit fucking funny?” he snarls playfully, smacking me on the ass.
“Not the interruption, no, but seeing a big scary biker pout is quite funny,” I give him a quick peck before rolling off him.
Rusher knocks again on the door. “Ma? If not, I've got to run. Practice starts soon.”
“I’m coming. I’m coming,” I call out to him.
Raider leans down close to my face. “You’re not coming yet. Tonight though, you are mine. Do you understand?”
A blush spreads from my hairline to my toes. “Raider, we’ve got so much history, and as much as my body is begging for it, I don’t know if my heart can take it.”
He cups my cheek. “I know there are so many things that need to be said. And we will say them because this is not just a one-time thing. When I finally slide into that sweet heat of yours, you will be mine. Forever.”
I shake my head. “I can’t be yours if you aren’t mine alone.”
“The moment I finally get my forever, know this—Jesus himself couldn’t make me stray. I’ve lost you more times than I’m ever going to be okay with, and none of those were because of something I did. I will not lose you because of anyone else or because I’m a fucking dumbass ever again.”
The lump in my throat is too big for me to get words out, so I just nod. Raider leans in close, his hand firmly wrapped in my hair. “Tonight I make good on my promise of what would happen if I had to ask for the words.”
“Now go have breakfast with our boy. I’ll have Twitch run him to practice and then right after lunch we have a meeting with a few brothers and Ainsley.
When that’s done, I want to take you on a bike ride once Remedy has checked your leg.
” He then kisses me firmly before sliding out of bed and holding out his hand for me to follow.
He helps me to the door, standing just behind it out of view of Rusher. Rusher looks me up and down before looking up at Raider, who has his head stuck around the door.
“Help your momma. She’s injured, and walking is difficult,” Raider instructs him.
“You’re hurt? You didn’t tell me that last night.” Rusher’s worried tone pulls at my heart.
“I’ll be okay, I swear. It’s just super sore, so I need to lean on someone just a little when walking,” I reassure him.
“After you guys are done eating, Twitch will run you to practice. Your mom and I have a meeting,” Raider calls from somewhere behind us.
“Yeah, sure.” Rusher’s eyes look thoughtful. “Well, come on, Momma. Let's go eat. Charlie makes the best breakfast.”
My heart nearly explodes out of my chest when he calls me that. He has never once called me anything but Ma for a long time, and when he would as a small child, I would correct him. Now though, I am his everything. I wrap my arm in his. “Lead the way.”
He smiles down at me, nodding. On the way there, he tells me about everything and everyone at the clubhouse.
The way he talks, it’s like he has finally come home and found his place with his people.
Yeah, nope, I can’t think about that right now.
There is still way too much unresolved and unknown shit for me to think that this could possibly be our forever home.
There is also the thing about Auntie Lynn’s place and what’s going to happen with there because I have no doubt Shea has been working on getting her hands on that for a long time.