Chapter Ten #3
Being forced to look inward isn’t easy, and I don’t like what I learn.
Because I dive into work for all the right…
and wrong reasons. It is right that I want to find a cure for what ultimately took my mother from me.
It is right that I dedicated my life to a cause.
But it is wrong that I buried myself and my feelings and needs because I was afraid of more loss.
I essentially lost Shane when he walked out of my life almost three weeks ago, and I haven’t had a good day since, so I know what I have to do.
I rub my hands together nervously. I don’t want to show up on Shane’s doorstep only to find he isn’t home, so I called McKay-Taggart to ask when he’ll be in the office.
My call was transferred directly to Ian, which surprises me, and he was almost gleefully willing to help.
He called me this morning, letting me know Shane is back in the office.
So here I am, following Ian down the hall. He pauses at the entrance of the same conference room where this all began. “Go easy on him,” Ian says, a grin on his face.
Who knew the big man liked to play matchmaker? “Thank you,” I say, drawing a deep breath before I gather my courage and step inside.
Shane stands at the window overlooking the outdoors.
“Hi,” I say, and he turns to face me.
I am surprised by his appearance—the scruffy beard, the exhaustion in his eyes, and the rumpled wrinkles in his clothes, dark jeans, and a light blue polo shirt. I drink him in, his face just as handsome, the scruff adding to his sex appeal. And I couldn’t care less about the wrinkles.
I’m feeling suddenly shy but know that won’t work for why I am here.
“Hey.” He shoves his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “How have you been?”
“Good.” I swallow hard. “No, that’s a lie. Not good. Not even close.”
He narrows his gaze, worry in his gorgeous blue eyes. “Did you get an infection from where I had to cut you?” he asks.
“No, nothing like that. I healed just fine. In fact, you could probably be a surgeon in your next life.”
Relief crosses his features. “Good. Then what’s wrong?”
It is now or never, I think, crossing the room to where he stands. “I’ll tell you what’s wrong. I missed you,” I say, cupping his face in my hands and pulling him down so I can press my lips to his.
He groans, his hand coming around the back of my neck, his palm pulling me into him as he opens his mouth and slides his tongue inside in an act of pure possession. If I had any questions whether my feelings are reciprocated, they are gone in that instant.
He lifts me and I wrap my legs around his waist, kissing him with everything I have, drinking in his familiar scent, his taste, all I missed for the last couple of weeks.
He lifts his head, pressing one more kiss on my lips and allowing me to slide back to the floor. The hard press of his groin sends sparks of awareness shooting through my body.
“I missed you, too,” he says.
My heart skips a beat at his words. “We need to talk about where that leaves us. What do we do about these crazy feelings we have when our lives are so…”
“Busy?” he asks.
I nod.
“First question. The danger I face doesn’t bother you? You can handle my job?” he asks, sounding like he dreads my answer.
I don’t have to think to answer. “Of course, I hate it. Who wants the person they love to be in danger?” No sooner have the words come out than I panic.
Talk about too much too soon. Blurting things out again. Things I haven’t given any thought to. “I’m sorry. Don’t freak out. I didn’t mean—”
“You better have meant it,” he says on a low growl.
I blink in surprise. “I didn’t just send you running?”
“Hell, no. Will the potential danger I’m in send you running?”
I shake my head. “Just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean I don’t respect what you do.
Or think you’re good at it. It feeds your soul…
just like my profession feeds mine. Which brings us to the next question.
Finding time to be together.” I pull my bottom lip into my mouth, worried this issue will be our deal breaker.
“Well, not all my assignments are long-distance, and I’ve earned enough seniority with Ian to turn things down on occasion.”
He raises his eyebrows in a challenge, and I can’t help but grin. “I’ll see your turning down assignments and agree to try not to take my work home all the time and to take weekends off when you’re in town.”
He braces his hands on my hips. “Look at us negotiating a relationship like mature adults. You know, I never wanted to be home the same way when I was married before.”
I know the admission isn’t an easy one. “It’s hard to make things work when both people aren’t invested in the outcome.”
He rolls his shoulders, his discomfort clear. “I never realized it before. I always blamed the fact that I worked, that my job was dangerous, that Amy couldn’t handle it. I guess I was partially to blame.”
I brush my hand over his scruffy cheek. “I like it,” I say, laughing. “But seriously, life is about changing and growing.”
“And meeting the person you love. The one who completes you.” He grasps my wrist, rubbing his thumb over the pulse point I know is jumping at his touch. At his words. At the idea of us. “You do that for me, Talia Shaw. I think I’ve been waiting for you all along.”
I smile wide. “Well, I promise you, I’m going to make it worth the wait.”