Chapter 13
Jason
It’s the day of Nick’s wedding. I should be happy, but instead I feel like shit for how I’ve been treating Mia.
I haven’t been mean to her. I just haven’t been like I usually am around her.
I’m not holding her hand. I’m not complimenting her.
I’m not putting my arm around her or giving her a hug.
It’s been hard not to do that stuff, but I made a commitment to treat her like a friend, nothing more, and I’m keeping that commitment.
All last week I thought about Mia, about how much I like her and how much I miss her when she’s not around.
And then it hit me that I was doing it again.
I was letting myself fall for her just like I did the night of the wedding.
I was dreaming about her, imagining a future with her, forgetting the fact that she’ll be gone soon.
Last weekend I treated her like a girlfriend and started to believe that she was, but I can’t do that.
It’s not fair to either of us. Mia’s not my girlfriend and never will be, so I can’t play this game where I pretend that she’s mine.
And yet whenever she’s around me, I find myself wanting to hold her hand and put my arm around her.
It feels natural to do those things and unnatural not to, which is why I’m struggling to stay away from her.
I did okay last night. Mia didn’t want to go to the rehearsal so I dropped her off at my apartment.
When I got home, she was already in bed.
I was on the couch all night, but I couldn’t sleep.
I laid awake thinking about her in my room, wanting to go in there and apologize for being cold and distant.
I wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her how she makes me feel and how she’s on my mind every second of the day.
But instead I remained on the couch until morning.
When she got up, I was already dressed and ready to take her to breakfast. After we ate, I drove around, showing her the town.
I was really just killing time until we had to leave for my parents’ house.
The less time we have alone together at my apartment, the better.
I keep thinking about last weekend, before she left.
We went to my apartment so she could get her things and ended up having sex.
I had no intentions of doing that. It just happened, but it can’t happen again.
‘You waiting for someone?’ Dad asks, coming down the stairs.
‘Yeah, Mia. I was just going to let her know I’d be upstairs changing.’
He nods. ‘She’s up with the girls. I need to go check on some things in the barn.’ He goes down the hall.
Mia and I arrived at my parents’ house an hour ago to help with whatever last-minute things needed to be done.
Turns out they didn’t need our help. Mom just told me they did so I’d get here early.
She was worried I’d show up late. She should’ve been worried about Brody. He’s the one who’s never on time.
Maybe I’m imagining it, but I feel like my parents are starting to see me as being less mature and responsible than my brothers.
I think it’s because I’m still single, which is completely unfair.
Being single doesn’t mean I’m irresponsible.
It just means I haven’t found the right girl.
But my parents equate settling down with maturity, so to them, my single status means I need to grow up.
‘Lyndsay looks gorgeous,’ Mia says as she runs down the stairs. ‘I absolutely love her dress!’
Mia’s been hanging out with my brothers’ girlfriends since we got here.
I’m not even dating Mia and yet she’s like part of the family.
I’m not surprised everyone loves her. She’s got a bright and sunny personality that makes you want to be around her.
And she’s a hugger so she fits right in with the rest of us.
‘Is Lyndsay almost ready?’ I ask.
‘Yeah, she’s just finishing her hair and touching up her makeup.’
We walk to the living room and sit down on the couch.
‘How’s Nick doing?’ Mia asks.
‘Good. He’s not even nervous. But he’s wanted to marry Lyndsay since high school so it’s not like he has any doubts.’
‘I’m really happy for them. They’re a great couple.’
‘They are. They remind me of Mom and Dad. Always looking out for each other. Hardly ever fighting.’
The front door swings open and Gina storms into the house, with Sawyer following behind her.
‘What the hell did I do?’ Sawyer yells.
‘Are you serious right now?’ Gina stops behind the couch where Mia and I are sitting and glares at Sawyer across the room. ‘I heard you! You asked that girl out!’
‘I did not ask her out!’ Sawyer goes over to Gina. ‘Why were you even there? You were supposed to be here, helping Lyndsay get ready.’
‘She didn’t need help. She has like ten girls up there. And stop changing the subject. Why was that girl at the brewery with you? And why were you telling her to meet you at your apartment Monday night?’
‘Because I . . .’ Sawyer looks down, shaking his head. ‘Let’s not do this right now.’
‘Oh, we’re doing it. I’m not waiting. If we’re through, just tell me. I’m not going to be your girlfriend all night only to be dumped tomorrow for some blonde with fake boobs. Is that really what you want? Because if it is, why’d you ever date me?’
‘Guys,’ I say. ‘Why don’t you take this outside?’
‘Stay out of this, Jason,’ Sawyer says, keeping his eyes on Gina.
‘I’ll just go,’ Gina says. ‘I can’t watch people get married after finding out my boyfriend’s cheating on me.’
Sawyer throws his hands up. ‘I wasn’t cheating on you!’
‘Then how do you explain what I heard at the brewery?’
‘You heard me making an appointment, not a date.’
‘Since when do you have appointments in your apartment?’
He sighs. ‘Gina, please, I’m begging you. Just end this. It’s not what you think.’
‘We should go,’ I say to Mia.
‘No, wait!’ Gina says, looking at us. ‘Mia, what would you think if you heard Jason asking some girl to come to his apartment on a night he knew you had to work?’
‘Oh, I don’t think I should be getting involved in this,’ Mia says, sounding flustered. ‘And I’m not dating Jason so it’s really not the same.’
‘But if you were dating him, and you found him making plans with some girl, would you just assume it was nothing?’
Mia looks at me. ‘I’d talk to him after she left and ask him to explain. I’d want to believe he wouldn’t do something like that to me.’
‘I want to believe that about Sawyer, but why would he invite a girl up to his apartment if it was just something innocent? He could just talk to her in the bar or in his office.’
‘Gina, for the last time,’ Sawyer says. ‘There is nothing going on with her. I love you. Why would I mess around with some other girl?’
‘Because you can,’ she huffs. ‘Like I don’t notice all the girls hitting on you at the brewery?’
‘Yeah.’ He takes Gina’s hand. ‘And when they do, I tell them I’m taken. I tell them I have a girlfriend I’m going to marry someday.’
Gina rolls her eyes. ‘You don’t tell them that.’
‘Maybe not the marrying part, but I tell them I have a girlfriend. And I do plan to marry her.’
Gina yanks her hand from Sawyer’s. ‘I know what you’re doing and it’s not going to work. You can say all the sweet things you want, but it’s not going to change what I heard.’ She folds her arms over her chest. ‘Just tell me the truth. How long have you been seeing her?’
‘About three weeks.’
Gina’s jaw drops. She looks like she wants to kill Sawyer.
‘But it’s not what you’re thinking.’ He steps closer to her. ‘You really want to know the truth?’
‘Just hurry up and tell me,’ she says, blinking really fast like she’s trying to hold back tears.
‘That girl, the one you saw me with, makes jewelry. She does custom pieces. I heard about her from the jewelry store in town. She lives about an hour away. The first time I met with her I drove to her shop. We talked about what I wanted and she said she’d work up some ideas.
I went back a week later and saw her drawings.
They were good, but I wanted this piece to be perfect.
So I invited her to come to my apartment this week to show her some of the clothes you have there, along with some of your jewelry, so she could see your style.
That’s why she was at the brewery today.
She’s in town working with some other clients and will be here for a few days.
The only time I could meet with her is Monday night, before she heads home. ’
‘I don’t understand,’ Gina says. ‘Are you saying you hired this woman to make me jewelry?’
‘Not just any jewelry.’ He pauses. ‘She’s making your engagement ring.’
‘Shit,’ Gina mutters.
‘Yeah.’ Sawyer laughs a little. ‘You just ruined the surprise.’
‘But I thought we were going to wait.’
‘I didn’t say I was proposing. I said I’m getting your ring. It’s handmade. It’s going to take awhile to make. I knew you didn’t want a traditional ring so when I heard about this girl and saw her designs, I hired her. I guess now that you know, we could work with her together if you want.’
‘No.’ Gina cracks as smile. ‘I want you to do it. I want the ring you designed.’ She hugs him. ‘I’m sorry. I got jealous and ruined your surprise.’
‘So we’re good?’ Sawyer says. ‘Because I need to go change.’
‘Go ahead.’ Gina lets him go. ‘I’m going to go check on Lyndsay.’
They leave and I’m alone with Mia again.
‘Another one of your brothers is getting married,’ Mia says. ‘That’s exciting.’
‘I worry about those two. They fight constantly.’
‘I think they’re just both really passionate. They seem perfect for each other.’
I stand up. ‘I need to go get ready.’