Chapter 13 #2
‘Okay.’ Mia smiles at me and I feel a pain in my chest. She’s being so nice and I’m being cold and aloof.
But I don’t know what else to do to keep myself from falling for her even more.
Just looking at her, at her deep brown eyes and long dark hair and that beautiful smile, has me wanting to take her in my arms and kiss her.
Then I see her with my family, how well she fits in, and my mind starts going again, dreaming of a future where we’re together.
‘Are you coming back?’ she asks. ‘Or will I just see you after the wedding?’
‘I’ll come down after I’m dressed. Mom wants my brothers and me to meet her and Dad in the barn before we go out to the orchard for the ceremony. She wants to do some family pictures. If you want to wait there while we take photos, you can. Or you can go upstairs with the girls.’
‘I’ll think about it.’
I go up to Sawyer’s old room where my brothers are getting ready.
‘There you are,’ Nick says when he sees me. ‘Where the hell have you been? We’re supposed to be in the barn in five minutes.’
‘I can be ready in five minutes.’ I yank off my t-shirt and grab my dress shirt from the hanger.
‘He was downstairs talking to Mia,’ Sawyer says, standing in front of the mirror, messing with his hair.
‘What’s up with you two?’ Nick asks. ‘You almost seemed angry at her last night. You two not getting along?’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was acting normal last night.’
‘You wouldn’t even look at her,’ Brody says. ‘Kate and I thought you guys had a fight.’
‘Why is everyone watching me with Mia? We spent a night together. That doesn’t make us a couple. We’re just friends. Not even that.’ I finish buttoning up my shirt and put on my tie. ‘And before you ask, nothing happened last night. I slept on the couch.’
‘What about last weekend?’ Brody asks, leaning against the wall. Mom told us not to sit down or we’d wrinkle our suits and ruin the pictures. But there’s no way we’re all going to stand for the next two hours or however long the ceremony and pictures take.
When I don’t answer Brody’s question, Sawyer turns away from the mirror and looks at me. ‘Did you do it or not?’
‘It’s none of your business.’
‘He did it,’ Nick says.
‘Why the hell are we talking about this?’ I quickly take off my jeans and toss them on the bed. ‘Nick’s the one getting married.’ I pull on my dress pants. ‘We should talk about him. Or Sawyer. He just proposed to Gina.’
‘You did?’ Nick and Brody say at the same time.
‘I didn’t propose to her,’ Sawyer says, turning back to the mirror. ‘She caught me talking to the jewelry designer and thought I was cheating. I had to fess up and tell her I’m having her engagement ring made.’
Nick chuckles. ‘So you’re next, huh? I thought it’d be Brody, now that he and Kate got a house.’
Sawyer looks back at Brody. ‘When are you asking her?’
He shrugs. ‘I don’t know. I haven’t decided.’
‘Tell me before you do. We can’t be doing it at the same time. You know how girls get when someone takes away their special moment. Actually, Gina probably wouldn’t care, but Kate might.’
‘Okay, am I good?’ I ask, desperate to get off the topic of marriage. How did all these idiots get girlfriends and I’m still single? I must be doing something wrong.
‘Yeah, you’re good.’ Nick walks up to me. ‘Be nice to Mia. She drove all this way to help you out.’ He continues to the door and we follow him out to the hall and down the stairs.
Nick doesn’t understand what’s been going on with Mia.
None of my brothers do, which is why they shouldn’t be giving me advice.
They get to be with the girl they want, the one they can see a future with, the one that makes them feel that spark.
I’m not that lucky. The girl I want I can’t have, so why would I keep acting like she and I are anything more than two people who shared a night together?
When we get to the barn, my parents are there, along with Uncle Mitch and my four cousins. I look for Mia and see her standing off to the side, looking like she feels out of place. I head over to her, but Nash gets there first.
‘Hey,’ he says, smiling at her. ‘You look kind of lonely over here.’
‘She’s with me,’ I say, coming up next to him. ‘Mia, this is Nash, my cousin from Chicago.’
Nash shakes her hand. ‘It’s good to meet you.’
‘You too.’ She smiles at him.
Nash turns to me. ‘I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.’
‘Mia is just a friend. We met a few months ago at a wedding.’
‘Your brother played in the band,’ Mia says to Nash. ‘He’s really good.’
‘Austin was there?’ Nash asks me.
‘Yeah, I didn’t know until I saw the band warming up. We talked when they had a break. I’m surprised he didn’t tell you.’
‘Nash.’ Callie walks up to him, holding the baby. ‘Can you take her? I need to use the bathroom before the ceremony starts.’
Nash takes the baby, who’s all dressed up in a pink dress and little white shoes. ‘Babe, this is Mia,’ he says to Callie. ‘Jason’s girlfriend.’
She’s not my girlfriend, but hearing Nash call her that is making me have those feelings again, the ones I’m trying to stop.
Mia smiles at Callie. ‘Your baby is adorable.’
‘Thanks! You can hold her if you want. Sorry to run off, but I really have to go.’ She takes off for the bathroom.
‘Here.’ Nash hands Mia the baby.
‘She’s beautiful,’ Mia says, smiling at the baby. She rocks her side to side. ‘What’s her name?’
‘Addison,’ Nash says. ‘But we’ve started to call her Addie.’
‘What a pretty name.’ Mia’s eyes haven’t left the baby and she can’t stop smiling.
Mia and Nash continue to talk about the baby until Callie returns.
‘Okay, I’m back,’ Callie says, racing up to Nash. ‘We should go take our seats. It’s filling up out there.’
Mia hands Callie the baby. ‘She’s really sweet. Thanks for letting me hold her.’
‘Sure! You can hold her again later so I can get a dance or two in with Nash.’
‘Two?’ He smiles at her. ‘We’re doing more than that.’
They go out the door to the orchard.
‘I should go grab a seat,’ Mia says.
‘Mia, wait. I need to say something.’
I can’t take this any longer. I can’t take seeing her sad because of me. I at least need to explain.
‘Jason, we need you over here,’ Mom says. ‘Your Uncle Mitch is taking a few photos for us.’
‘Wait there,’ I say to Mia.
I hurry over to where my family’s lined up and stand between Brody and Sawyer. Mom insists we line up by our ages.
‘I thought photos were after the ceremony,’ I say to Brody.
‘Those are with the photographer. These are just Uncle Mitch taking pictures with his phone.’
‘Okay, give me some big smiles,’ Uncle Mitch says.
He takes like 30 photos before Mom finally tells him it’s enough.
‘Well,’ Mom says, a big grin on her face. ‘I guess it’s time.’
‘Brody,’ Nick says. ‘You got the rings, right?’
‘No. I thought Jason had them.’
I look at him. ‘Why would I have them? The rings were your job.’
‘Didn’t I give them to you?’
‘No.’
Brody searches his suit pockets. ‘I don’t have them.’
‘What the hell?’ Nick races up to Brody. ‘Are you telling me you lost the rings?’
‘What’s happening?’ Dad says, walking over to us with Mom.
‘Brody lost the rings,’ Nick says.
‘Brody!’ Mom says in her scolding tone.
‘It’s not like I did it on purpose,’ he says.
‘Okay, everyone just calm down,’ Dad says. ‘We’ll find them. They gotta be around here somewhere.’
‘Sawyer,’ Nick says. ‘Could you go tell the minister we need a few minutes?’
‘Sure.’ He takes off.
‘I’ll text Lyndsay to let her know,’ Nash says, getting his phone out.
‘You’re telling her you lost the rings?’ I ask. ‘You sure you want to do that?’
‘I’m telling her people are still being seated and we need more time.’ He sends the text, then looks back at Brody. ‘Where were you the last time you had the rings?’
‘I don’t know. I can’t remember.’
‘I’ll check the house,’ I say, but instead I go over to Mia.
‘What’s going on?’ she asks.
‘Brody lost the rings. They’re trying to find them. Can we go in the house for a minute? I need to talk to you.’
‘What about the wedding? We’re supposed to be out there.’
‘It’s delayed until we find the rings.’
‘Don’t you want to help look for them?’
‘My brothers can handle it. Come on.’ I take her hand, something I haven’t done since she got here. She glances at me, like she’s not sure what’s going on or what I’m going to say. I haven’t figured that out myself, but I’m hoping it’ll come to me when we get inside.
We go into the house and I take her to the kitchen.
‘Mia, I need to apologize.’
‘For what?’
‘For how I’ve been acting. You did a really nice thing for me coming to the wedding and making the drive here and I’ve been treating you like shit.’
‘Jason, I don’t expect you to treat me like we’re dating. I know you just want us to be friends.’
‘That’s not what I want.’ I look her in the eye. ‘When I said that, I wasn’t being honest. I want us to be more than friends. But we can’t. And that’s the part I’m struggling with. I finally find the perfect girl and I can’t be with her.’
She looks down. ‘I’m not perfect.’
‘You’re perfect for me. You’re smart. Kind. Beautiful.’ I pause. ‘I’ve been pulling away from you because I don’t know how else to deal with these feelings I have for you, how to make them stop.’
‘Oh God.’ She holds her stomach and runs to the sink.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘I think I’m going to be sick. Could I get some water?’
I race to the cupboard, grab a glass, and meet her at the sink. I fill the glass with water and hand it to her.
‘Was it because of what I said?’ I ask as she drinks the water.
‘No.’ She shuts her eyes and takes some deep breaths.
‘This is the second time this has happened in a week. Maybe you should go see a doctor.’
‘I’ll be fine. I just have to wait for it to pass.’ She was leaning over the sink but slowly straightens up. She grabs hold of the counter and takes another deep breath.
‘Are you okay?’
‘Yes. I just felt lightheaded for a moment.’
‘Mia, I’m worried. I think I need to take you to a doctor.’
‘I don’t need a doctor. Just go. Go back to your family.’
‘After you almost passed out? Yeah, I don’t think so.’
She looks at me. ‘Jason, I’m fine. I promise. Just go.’
‘I’m not leaving you. Not when you’re sick.’
‘The wedding’s about to start. You have to get out there.’
‘Stop worrying about the wedding. Something could be seriously wrong here. When’s the last time you felt like this?’
‘Jason, please. I don’t want to do this now.’
‘Do what?’
‘Tell you this.’
‘Tell me what?’
She looks down.
‘Mia, what is it? What are you not telling me?’ I put my hand on her arm. ‘You’re sick, aren’t you? It’s something serious.’
She doesn’t answer, which makes me start to panic.
‘Dammit, Mia, just tell me!’
She looks up at me. ‘I’m not sick. I’m pregnant.’
‘You’re what?’ I hear Brody’s voice and turn back to see my whole family standing there.
‘She’s pregnant,’ Sawyer says.
My family’s staring at me, looking as shocked as I feel.