Chapter 19
Jason
‘Hey,’ Nick says, sitting beside me at the bar. ‘Care if I join you?’
We’re at Sawyer’s brewery. I came here hoping it would get my mind off Mia, but so far, it’s not working.
‘What are you doing here? I thought you were still on your honeymoon.’
After the wedding, Nick and Lyndsay drove down to Chicago and stayed at a resort hotel with a spa.
‘We got home this afternoon. And don’t call it a honeymoon, especially around Lyndsay. I promised her I’d take her on a real honeymoon later this year.’
‘Where does she want to go?’
‘Somewhere in the Caribbean. I would’ve taken her now, but she didn’t want to leave the orchard when we’ve got so much work to do. So how was your game? It was the last one, right?’
‘Yeah, we lost.’
‘Hey,’ Sawyer says to Nick. ‘What are you drinking?’
‘The stout.’
‘How was Chicago?’ Sawyer asks as he gets the beer.
‘Good. Nash, Jake, and Uncle Mitch met us for dinner last night.’
Sawyer brings Nick the beer. ‘Did you tell them the good news?’
‘About Jason getting married and having a kid?’ Nick glances at me. ‘Nah, I figured he should tell them himself.’
‘Would you stop it with the marriage stuff?’ I say, keeping my voice down so the people around us don’t hear.
As far as the town knows, I’m still engaged.
People have been asking me about it all week, wanting to know who Mia is and where she’s from and why they never saw her before now.
I told them Mia and I have been on-and-off dating since last year and that just recently it got serious, but people are still spreading rumors about us that aren’t true.
‘You never know.’ Nick drinks his beer. ‘Maybe the marriage will actually happen.’
‘Yeah, I don’t think so. Who told you about it?’
‘I did,’ Sawyer says.
‘I could barely understand him when he called,’ Nick says. ‘He couldn’t stop laughing.’
‘You think this is funny?’ I say to Sawyer.
‘Dude, if you saw your face at breakfast that day when Mom and Dad showed up, you’d be laughing too.’ He glances behind me. ‘I have to go check on a table.’ He takes off.
‘Sawyer said Mia went back to Madison,’ Nick says.
‘Yeah, yesterday morning. She said she had things to do before her parents got there.’
‘Was that really the reason, or was it something else?’
‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ I gulp down my beer.
‘So something else. Let me guess. You got scared and pushed her away?’
‘I’m not scared. What the hell would I be scared of?’
‘Getting closer to her. Falling for her even more than you already have.’
I take another drink of my beer, annoyed that he knows me so well.
‘What are you going to do about it?’ Nick asks.
‘I don’t know. I’m going there Friday night. We’re taking her parents to dinner and then Saturday is her graduation.’
‘And she’s not planning to come back with you after that?’
‘She hasn’t decided.’ I sigh. ‘I fucked up. I got angry at her before she left. And this was after barely talking to her for the two days before that. I’m not surprised she left.’
‘And you haven’t talked to her since?’
‘Only about the graduation. I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants her to live with me, but the other part is telling me to stay away from her. Being with her is just going to make it that much harder when she leaves.’
‘What do you want more? To be with her this summer or to protect yourself from feeling like shit when she leaves?’
I pause a moment. ‘To be with her. I miss her. I can’t stop thinking about her. But that’s what worries me. If I miss her this much now, think how bad it’s going to be when she leaves in a few months.’
‘You can’t worry about that. If you do, you’re going to get scared again and push her away.
If you decide you want to live with her this summer, you need to stop this back and forth shit.
And you both need to decide what this is—if you’re just going to live together as friends or if it’s something else. ’
‘We’ve tried being friends, but it keeps turning into something else.’
‘Then you have to be okay with that. And so does she. You’re basically dating for the summer.’
‘Which is stupid. Why would I do that?’
‘Because you’re not ready to lose her.’ He takes a drink of his beer. ‘There’s nothing wrong with dating her as long as you both know what you’re getting into.’
‘What would you do?’
‘I can’t tell you that. Besides, it doesn’t matter. You and I aren’t the same.’
‘You’d move with her. You’d move to Boston.’
‘It’s different for me. I lived in New York all those years, so yeah, leaving Haydon Falls wouldn’t be as big a deal for me as it is for you.
’ He turns to me. ‘I’m not saying you should go.
I’m saying do what feels right today. Don’t worry about three months from now.
You’ve been crazy about this girl since the night you met her.
What if she’s it? What if you were meant to meet her that night?
Do you want to go the rest of your life wondering what might’ve happened if you’d spent the summer with her? ’
I look at him. ‘So how do I get her back?’
‘You go there this weekend and tell her you fucked up and want another chance.’
‘Chance for what? I don’t even know what I’m asking for.’
‘You’ve got two days to figure it out.’ He finishes his beer, then gets up.
‘You’re leaving?’
‘Yeah, I need to get up early tomorrow.’
‘Did you just come here to get me to do something about Mia?’
He cracks a smile. ‘I’m taking over for Dad. He said talking to you is like talking to a brick wall. He needed a break.’
‘So he sent you?’ I shake my head. ‘I love how all of you talk about me when I’m not around.’
‘Like you don’t do the same thing?’ Sawyer says, appearing behind the bar as Nick leaves. ‘So what’d he tell you?’
‘To stop worrying about what happens when she leaves.’
Sawyer nods. ‘It’s tough, man. I get why you’re worried. But Nick’s right. You’ll never have a chance with her if you keep thinking about her leaving.’
‘Her leaving is the reason why I don’t have a chance with her.’ I rub my jaw. ‘Shit, I did it again. I’m thinking about her leaving.’
‘You’ll work it out. You want another beer?’
‘No, I need to get home. Hey, if I move in the Carson house, you want my apartment for the summer? It’s a lot bigger than your place.’
‘Maybe. I’ll think about it.’
I leave and go back to my apartment. It feels empty without Mia there. She was only here a few days, but it was long enough for me to miss having her around. I always tell people I don’t mind living alone, but I’d rather be with someone. I’d rather be with Mia.
* * *
On Friday, I get to Mia’s apartment a few minutes early, wanting to talk to her before her parents get there. I’ve done some more thinking and have no doubt that I want her to stay with me this summer. I’m just not sure she’ll agree to it.
‘Jason,’ Mia says, greeting me at the door. ‘Come on in.’
‘Hey, before your parents get—’ I stop when I see they’re already there, sitting on the couch in Mia’s tiny apartment. It’s much smaller than I was expecting.
‘Mom and Dad got here early,’ Mia says.
‘I see that.’ I smile at them. ‘How was the trip?’
‘Wonderful,’ Harriott says. ‘It’s so easy to drive around here. There’s almost no traffic.’
‘It’s a big change from Boston,’ Mia says to me. ‘They’re not used to it.’
Harriott gets up and gives me a hug. ‘It’s good to see you again, Jason.’
‘You too, Mrs. Daniels.’
‘Call me Harriott,’ she says, going back to the couch. ‘You’re going to be my son-in-law soon.’
I look at Mia, but she looks away.
‘When’s dinner?’ Walter asks. ‘I’m starving and I’ve gotta take my pill.’
‘We could go right now,’ Mia says. ‘There’s no reason to wait now that Jason’s here.’
‘You haven’t even kissed him hello yet,’ Harriott says, winking at Mia.
‘Oh. You’re right.’ She walks up to me and gives me a quick peck on the lips.
I guess I have my answer. She’s not going to live with me. She doesn’t even want to kiss me. I screwed up too many times.
‘Walter!’ Harriott yells.
Mia and I look back and see Walter on his knees, holding onto the chair by the couch.
Mia races over to him. ‘Dad, are you okay?’
‘I’m fine. You just got too much damn furniture in too small of a place.’
‘Let me help you up,’ I say, reaching under his arm. He looks annoyed, like he doesn’t want my help, but he lets me lift him up to standing.
‘It’s that damn hip of mine,’ he grumbles. ‘I think that damn surgery made it worse.’
‘Walter, watch your language.’
‘It can take awhile to heal after joint surgery,’ I say, keeping hold of him as he slowly makes his way to the door. ‘I tore my shoulder the summer before college. It took the whole next year to heal. Lost my baseball scholarship.’
‘You were good enough to get a scholarship?’ Walter asks, sounding impressed.
‘I was.’ I smile at him. ‘But then I hurt my shoulder and it ended my chances of playing again.’
‘You play in a rec league,’ Mia says, walking ahead of us with her mom.
‘Well, yeah. I meant college ball.’
‘That’s a shame,’ Walter says, holding onto my arm as he walks. Mia said he hates using his cane so tries to go without it, but after falling just now, I think he wants some extra support.
Mia keeps looking back at me and smiling as I help her dad. I know she’s had it with me, but I hope she at least knows I’m a nice guy. I only treated her the way I did because I was stupid, and afraid. Nick’s right. I was afraid of getting close to her so I pushed her away.
We go to dinner and I feel like Mia and I are a couple again. But it’s all for show. We’re back to our fake engagement routine, except this time Mia isn’t being as affectionate. She’s not holding my hand or touching my arm or sitting as close to me as she did last weekend.
As we’re finishing our meals, a guy stops at our table.
‘Mia,’ he says, smiling at her. ‘How have you been?’
‘Kurt. Hey.’ She clears her throat. ‘I’ve been good. How about you?’