Chapter 18 #2
‘Good.’ I don’t know this guy. Or do I? My memory hasn’t been great since I got pregnant. ‘What’s your name again?’
‘Craig. We’re in boot camp at the gym.’
‘You must be thinking of someone else. I’m not in boot camp. I’m not even sure what that is.’
Nora laughs and turns to the guy. ‘Are you asking her out?’
She’s so bold, which I admire, but it also embarrasses me sometimes.
‘I was just saying hi.’ He looks back at me. ‘But what do you think? You want to have dinner this week? I could tell you all about boot camp. Maybe you could come with me sometime.’
‘I don’t think so.’ I look at Nora. ‘But maybe you could go with my friend, Nora.’
‘I’d rather go with you,’ he says in a flirty tone.
‘She’s pregnant,’ Nora says, chomping on her chips.
He backs away, like I have a contagious disease. ‘Is she serious?’
‘Yes.’ I rub my stomach. ‘I’m due in October. Twins!’
‘Okay, well, I need to get going.’ He takes off.
Nora stares at me, her eyes bugged out. ‘You’re having twins?’
‘No, I just said that to get rid of him. I told you guys won’t go out with me. Did you see how fast he ran out of here when I said I’m pregnant?’
‘I think it was the twin thing. He might’ve been okay with it if you said you’re just having one.’ She pops a chip in her mouth.
‘I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t, which is fine. I’m not looking to date right now.’
‘So, to summarize, you like Jason, you think he’s hot, and you’re not dating anyone else.’
‘Yeah? What are you saying?’
‘I think you should go live with Jason. Spend the summer with him.’
‘I don’t think he wants that.’
‘You said he’s the one who suggested it.’
‘Yes, but then later that day, he barely talked to me. I can’t take all his back and forth. One minute he’s kissing me and the next he’s acting like he just wants to be friends.’
‘Maybe you should cut him some slack. You did kind of appear out of nowhere and tell him he’s having a kid. The guy’s probably just confused.’
‘I know he is, but I don’t want to spend all summer with him going back and forth between wanting to date me and wanting to just be friends.’
‘What do you want?’
‘I don’t know,’ I say, looking down at my half-eaten sandwich. I haven’t had much of an appetite since leaving Jason’s apartment yesterday.
‘Yeah, you do.’ Nora nudges my knee under the table. ‘What is it you want, Mia?’
‘I can’t have what I want. That’s the problem.’
‘You could have it for the summer.’
‘And get close to him and then have to leave? Why would I do that?’
‘You never know.’ She wipes her hands on her napkin. ‘Maybe spending three months with him would change things.’
‘He’s not going to move to Boston. And I can’t stay here.’ I slump back in my chair. ‘I never should’ve done the fake engagement thing. It messed everything up.’
‘If you’re really that upset about it, it’s not too late to get out of it.’
‘Meaning I should tell my parents the truth?’
‘Maybe. From what you said, they seem okay with you having a baby. Maybe they’ll be okay with you not being engaged.’
‘They will be eventually, but not yet. Monday, when I was sightseeing with them, my mom kept telling me how lucky I am to have found a great guy like Jason who didn’t run off when he found out I was pregnant.
Then she went on to tell me how hard it would’ve been to raise the baby on my own, to the point that I started to think I couldn’t do it. ’
‘Of course you can,’ Nora says, reassuringly. ‘Your mom’s from a different era when women didn’t make the kind of money they do now.’
‘Even if I get a good job, Boston’s expensive. And so are babies. What I make may not be enough.’
‘Isn’t Jason going to help?’
‘We haven’t talked about it.’
‘You need to. Even if you two decide not to live together this summer, you still need to talk to him. Why don’t you call him tonight?’
My phone rings. Jason’s name lights up the screen. ‘I think he heard us talking about him.’ I show her my phone, then answer the call. ‘Hey, Jason.’
‘Hey. I was wondering about this weekend.’
‘What about it?’
‘I need to know what time to be there.’
‘For the graduation? I thought you weren’t coming.’
‘Of course I’m coming. It’s Saturday, right? I was thinking I could come Friday after work. We could take your parents to dinner.’
‘Um, yeah, that’d be nice.’
‘Great! I’ll be there around five. Just text me your address.’
‘Okay. But wait, don’t you have a game on Friday?’
‘It’s tonight. And tomorrow I’m having an end-of-season party for the team. Nothing fancy. Just pizza and ice cream. Mia, I hate to run, but I have to grade quizzes before class.’
‘Okay, bye.’ I end the call and text him my address.
‘What’d he want?’ Nora asks.
‘He’s coming to graduation.’ I set my phone down. ‘And he wants to take my parents out Friday night.’
‘See? He’s not angry at you. You’ve been worrying for nothing.’
‘He’s only doing this for my parents. To keep the fake engagement story going.’
‘Or he has feelings for you and wants to see you.’ She spots the professor guy by the trash can. ‘I’ll be right back.’ She bursts up from her chair, taking her tray with her. She stands beside the guy, waiting for him to clear his tray. ‘Are you new here?’
‘I am.’ He turns to her and shakes her hand. ‘Steve Wren.’
‘Nora West. Where are you from?’
‘Arizona. I worked at a small college there. I assume you work at the university?’
‘I’m a professor in the physics department.’
‘Physics.’ His brows rise. ‘Impressive. I work in the English department.’
‘Have they given you the campus tour?’
‘Briefly, but I still find myself getting lost.’
‘I’d be happy to show you around.’
‘I’d like that.’ He smiles at her like he’s interested in more than a tour. ‘Do you have time now? I’m supposed to pick up my staff ID and I have no idea where the administration building is from here.’
‘I can show you.’
‘Great! Let me get this for you.’ He takes her tray.
As he’s dumping it, Nora texts me, He’s even hotter up close! And he smells amazing!
‘Ready to go?’ the guy asks.
‘Just a minute.’ She runs over to me. ‘Sorry to rush off but—’
‘It’s fine. We were almost done anyway.’
‘I’ll call you tonight!’ she says as she hurries back to the guy.
Seeing her with that guy makes me wonder how long it’ll be before I date again, or if I ever will.
I wonder how long it’ll be before Jason finds someone.
I’m surprised he hasn’t by now. He’s smart, funny, athletic, hot.
I wish I’d stayed in touch with him after the wedding.
Maybe things would’ve turned out differently.
If we’d dated before finding out about the baby, would I have been able to convince Jason to move to Boston with me?
There I go again, fantasizing about what will never be. Jason and I aren’t a couple. We can’t be. I just need to be okay with that.