Chapter 24
MAE
“Okay, what’s the emergency? And why are we drinking wine on a Monday? Not that I’m complaining,” Jules asked as she approached.
I’d snagged us two Adirondack chairs and a charcuterie board already. And wine, of course. Jules had to run some errands, so we drove to Golden Grove separately, a newer winery that was quickly becoming one of our favorites, behind lakeside.
“Got us white. Figured it was lighter,” I said as she sat. “Being it’s Monday and all.”
Laughing, she grabbed a handful of grapes and the wine. Didn’t even ask what it was, but I had more important things to tell her.
“The emergency is that I kissed Beck. Or he kissed me. Whatever.”
Jules froze. Clearly, this was a legitimate emergency because she didn’t even take a sip of the wine but instead put it on the table between us, turned to me and just stared.
“Yeah, told you.”
“Are you serious?”
“Deadly.” I took a sip of wine and reached for a piece of cheese.
“Okay.” She picked her glass back up. “Start from the beginning, please.”
As we sipped wine and tackled the charcuterie board as if neither of us had ever eaten, I started with our late-night hangout in Beck’s room and ended with the toe-curling kiss.
“I just… it felt so natural. We just sort of looked at each other and…” I shrugged.
“Was it good?”
“Beyond good. I don’t even remember why we stopped. When I think back to what could have happened… honestly, Jules… I am so confused right now.”
“Okay, what happened afterwards?”
I was a little fuzzy on the details. Thinking back, I was fairly certain my brain wasn’t functioning normally at that point. “We just sort of agreed that anything more was a bad idea and went into our separate rooms.”
“That’s it? You guys didn’t talk about it?”
“Not really. It was actually worse the next morning. Beck acted totally natural. Didn’t say a word. And I felt like an idiot, not knowing what to say. So we sort of… ignored it. Went down to breakfast but then finally broke the ice. By then we’d gone into festival mode, though.”
I told her about my little jealousy incident and our discussion on the way home.
Recalling everything made it seem more real.
Last night, after he dropped me off, I figured I’d be too exhausted to do anything other than pass right out.
Instead, I lay on my bed, checking my phone to see if he texted.
And basically obsessed over every word from the car talk.
“Holy. Shit.”
“Exactly. Now you know why we’re drinking wine on a Monday afternoon. I really need to dry out this week.”
“Same. Delaney and I… actually, never mind. Doesn’t matter. We need to figure this out.”
I love that she said we. I’d made friends in France, but there was nothing like old friendships with people who you’d known most of your life. It was good for the soul.
“So,” she said, as if trying to figure out a math problem. “You pretty much put the brakes on it as Beck is going to prove that he’s not the king of one-night stands and can take anything seriously for more than five minutes. Does that sum it up?”
“Kinda. But I’m second-guessing myself.”
“What are you second-guessing?”
“Can I get you ladies more wine?” an attendant asked. I hadn’t even seen him coming.
“You know what,” Jules responded for us. “We’ll take a bottle of whatever this is,” she said, lifting up her glass.
“Sure thing.”
“A bottle?” I asked. “We both have cars.”
Jules chuckled, picked up her phone and apparently sent off a text.
“What are you doing?”
“Asking Boo if he can pick us up later.”
“He’s still in town?”
“Yep. He got pulled into a squash tournament and actually beat the club pro.”
“Interesting. As for the second-guessing, I said no because I was scared. But what if I’m more scared of what happens if I say yes?”
“Sounds reasonable to me. I actually think you did the right thing.”
“You do? Because Beck is highly unlikely to change?”
“I do. But it has nothing to do with Beck. You have to figure yourself out first. We both know you adore each other, and now it’s pretty obvious you have the hots for each other too. So let’s pretend Beck really could show up emotionally for you as well.”
That was a perfect summation of everything, actually. Jules always did have a way with words. Her being a writer had always made sense.
“Okay.” The attendant came back with our wine. We thanked him for the refills as I looked out to the lake. It was always slow on a Monday, even in the spring. But this weekend, we’d be surrounded by people and those calm waters would teem with tourists. “I’m with you so far.”
“Best-case scenario, everything works out between the two of you. He buys the bar. Which is likely, right?”
“I think so. We didn’t talk about it much, for obvious reasons.”
“Let’s go with him buying the bar. That ties Beck to Cedar Falls. And now the two of you are in relationship bliss. Get where I’m going?”
“I do.”
“A pause button is a good idea, until you figure out what’s next. The last thing you want is for the two of you to work out but your dream job is in the city, or whatever.”
The idea of Beck and me “working out” seemed so far-fetched. He was more likely to break my heart than heal it.
“Problem with that is… what’s my dream job?”
“Are you asking me?”
“Maybe? I’ve asked myself and don’t have an answer.”
We polished off the bottle, and the charcuterie board, but eventually got hungry for real food. While Jules went up to the bathroom and texted Boo to pick us up, I closed my eyes and thought about our conversation.
Jules made a lot of sense. So maybe I had done the right thing? Problem was, that didn’t help clarify my life path. In the meantime, I completely forgot about Thursday.
“Speaking of wine,” I said when she sat back down. “I forgot to tell you. I ran into Thayle and Neo Grado at the festival. She invited us to a girls’ night at GVV on Thursday and even has an empty cottage… a bachelorette party canceled. What do you think?”
“I think, sign me up. A lakeside writer’s cottage? Sounds like a dream.”
“Only you would think of that first. Who works on a girls’ night?”
“Writing, at least the fiction, isn’t work for me.”
Jules wanted more than anything to make that her career. In the meantime she pieced together college writing courses and tutoring and all sorts of soul-sucking things while she worked on her own stuff on the side.
“I’m gonna ask Delaney and Pia. Who else?”
We chatted about Thursday, all talk of Beck and my future over. For now.
Problem was, my phone just buzzed in my pocket, and I reached for it more quickly than I should. When Beck’s name lit up and my heart did a little “pitter patter,” it was time to face reality.
Like it or not, pause or otherwise, I’d caught feelings for my best friend and would need to buckle up. It was about to be a bumpy ride.