Chapter 36
MAE
I could tell something was up as I walked toward the bar. Normally, unless it was dark, you could look straight in through the clear windows. But both were draped in black cloth, a “closed” sign on the door. It seemed an odd requirement. Why would a faulty valve require covering the windows?
I used my key to open the door, unsure what to expect.
It certainly wasn’t an entire room full of candles, the only source of light, and one table set for dinner in the center.
Beck was, as usual, behind the bar. But he was wearing a different outfit than before, dressed more for…
well, dinner. He looked so handsome in navy pants, a white button-down shirt with its sleeves rolled.
For my benefit? Beck knew that was a “thing” of mine.
He came around the bar with two glasses of wine.
“Hungry?”
“Yeah, but… what is all this?”
“Dinner,” he said, handing me a wine.
It was more than just dinner, obviously. I honestly didn’t know what to think, but after spending the day doing more research, and trying to figure out my life, maybe I could not think just for the night.
I took a sip. “This is good. What is it?”
“I asked Emilio for his best red, and he gave me a Nero d’Avola a friend of his makes. It’s a bit dense for what we’re eating, but hopefully you like it.”
“I love it.”
“Good.” He clinked my glass. “Salute.”
“What are we toasting to?”
“Possibilities.”
A shiver ran up me, both at his words and the way Beck looked at me. Sighing, I gestured to the bar. “It looks beautiful. Where did you get so many candles?”
“Pia had one hell of a candle stash.”
I loved the way his smile reached all the way up to his eyes. Beck was always smiling, but when it was sincere… not flirty or him being silly, I could tell. Right now, he was genuinely happy.
“Sit,” he said, heading to the table and pulling out my chair. “This was the best I could do to keep it warm.”
Our plates were covered, but after I sat, Beck removed them. “Baked manicotti.”
“Is this Bella Luna?”
“Of course,” he said.
Their manicotti was to die for. I hadn’t had it in years.
“This is all pretty incredible. I’d have thought, with a forced night off, you’d want to get out of here. Especially with no electricity and all.”
“Just the opposite,” he said as I began to eat. “It felt like the appropriate place to talk. The start of what I hope to be an exciting future as O’Malley’s new owner.”
“I like it,” I admitted. “It almost makes me wish it was always like this. Maybe you should get rid of the lights and go for a ‘pre-electricity’ vibe.”
“Jesus,” he said, taking a sip of wine. “I’d have to get in an hour early to light all the candles. Flipping a switch is a hell of a lot easier.”
“True.”
We ate. Drank. Talked quietly about our day since meeting up for ice cream.
“Why didn’t you tell me what was wrong?” I asked, the question having been on my mind all day. “I was worried.”
“Sorry about that. I just… didn’t want to burden you with the bar. Figured you’d come with me.”
“It’s never a burden. Being with you is… easy.”
“Easy?”
“Uh huh.”
“Is that it?”
“Fishing for compliments again?”
He winked. “Always.”
“Enjoyable.”
“That’s better.”
“There’s more, but I don’t think your head will fit through the door when we leave, so I’ll stop there.”
“Which head?” he teased, making me laugh.
“You’re not that big,” I managed. “Don’t flatter yourself.”
“How do you know?”
I didn’t. But I wanted to. My thoughts on Beck might have been a jumbled mess lately, but that much was clear.
“I’m pleading the fifth.”
His eyes widened. “Mae O’Malley. Did you cop a peek the night we went skinny dipping?”
How could I have forgotten that? A lakeside beer party took a turn the summer between junior and senior year in college.
“Absolutely not. Did you?”
“Hell yeah. Are you kidding me? One hundred percent.”
He really was nuts.
But he’s my nut.
The thought popped into my head before I could stop it.
“You said this was a perfect place to talk,” I ventured. “Was there something specifically you were hoping to talk about?”
Despite the fact that my heart began to race as I asked the question, it was a necessary one.
“Yes,” he said, matter-of-factly. “But first, in case things go sideways, there’s something I need to do.” Pulling out his phone, he changed the song as the first chords of “Tennessee Whiskey” began to play.
Without warning, he pushed back his seat and held his hand out to me. I took it, standing. Beck led me to the dance floor, a small area we cleared out on weekends, and pulled me into his arms.
As I laid my head on his chest, we moved to the slow chords. I listened to the words, knowing he’d put the song on for a reason. The bachelor pact rule. The bar. The apartment. His declaration.
Was it really possible Beck could be a different man for me than he’d been with any other woman all these years?
I looked up, to ask him that very question, when he leaned down and put his lips to mine. It was a kiss unlike any other. Slow. Sensual. Full of promise, and hope. We moved together in perfect rhythm, kissed like we’d been doing it for years.
His hand on my back tightened, pulling me closer just as the song ended.
Breaking the kiss, he continued to look into my eyes.
“I wanted to talk to you about us,” he said. “I have been in love with you all my life, Mae. If I’ve acted like an immature idiot, it’s because I never thought I could have the one woman I really wanted. Still don’t.”
I opened my mouth to respond, but he pressed a finger to my lips.
“It’s a big ask. The biggest one there is. So until you know for sure, don’t say anything. Think about it. Us. Me. Cedar Falls. What you want for your future. I know it’s all tied together.”
Wow. Sometimes I thought Beck knew me better than I knew myself.
I’d planned on telling him about my research.
My business idea. But instead, I realized he was right.
Committing to staying here was a big deal, especially because I would be committing to him too.
And where I lived, which could be changed at any time, a relationship with Beck wasn’t so straightforward.
His life was here. At O’Malley’s. With his friends nearby.
And mine?
Maybe he was right. Until I knew that answer for sure, not saying anything at all was probably for the best.
I wanted to respond. To tell him what I was thinking.
To tell Beck I loved him too, and not just as a friend.
But those were words I could never take back.