Chapter 37
BECK
“Whoa, didn’t expect you back tonight,” Mason said as I walked up the back stairs onto the deck.
He, Parker and Cole had all gotten a head start, obviously.
Pia and Delaney had said the same thing.
They were watching a chick flick in the living room and had hardly looked up, except for Pia to ask, “What are you doing back so early?”
“Grab a beer.” Parker opened the lid of a cooler.
“You lazy motherfuckers. The kitchen’s right in there.” I pointed inside.
“Yeah? You go in there and rattle a beer bottle around,” Parker said. “See what happens.”
The ladies had looked rather intense.
“And this is why living alone, no one to complain if you get a drink, is the way to go.” Cole had his feet up on a wicker ottoman in front of him.
“You don’t get lonely in that sparse-ass apartment?
” I asked, using the bottle opener and taking my beer to the railing.
The view was as good as it got, Mason’s inheritance in one hell of a prime location.
Unlike other places around the lake where the houses were on top of each other, he had enough land to actually afford a bit of privacy.
“Nope.”
“Liar.” Mason tossed a bottle cap at him.
“I get my needs met,” he said, to which all three of us laughed. No doubt he did. Cole was a good-looking guy, especially if a woman liked the Clark Kent-turned-Superman thing. He had more than his share of secrets that most people would be surprised to learn about.
“I’m sure you do,” Parker muttered. “But there’s something to be said for an actual relationship. I know we thought it was a bad idea—”
“It’s a terrible fucking idea.”
We all ignored Cole.
“But I think with the right person, marriage isn’t as bad as we thought.”
“How would you know?” I asked. He was engaged, but not married.
“We’re close enough,” Parker argued.
“That’s the whole point, though,” Cole said. “Our parents thought it was a good idea too. Until they didn’t.”
It was true. None of our parents had good track records. But that didn’t mean a happy marriage was an impossible standard.
“Mason’s parents were happy,” I said quietly, not sure if I should go there. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to mind.
“I think about that a lot,” Mason said. “And get my dad more now than ever. If something ever happened to Pia, I can’t imagine ever marrying again. But he wasn’t as miserable after my mother passed away as I’d thought. He just missed her, a lot. There’s a difference.”
“To Papa Bennett.” Parker raised his bottle, and we all followed suit.
“Look at Mae’s parents,” I ventured. “And Emilio and his wife. And Maggie. And—”
“Okay,” Cole said, annoyed. “I get it.”
“Why are you home?” Parker asked. “Mason said you had some big romantic date at the bar.”
“Pfft,” Cole scoffed. “A romantic date at O’Malley’s.”
My buddies backed me up by each giving our friend a death stare to which he frowned but said nothing.
“It’s complicated.”
As much as I hadn’t wanted to leave her, and Mae had asked me over to her place, I knew without a doubt it was the right thing to do.
I told her I was giving her space, and so I needed to follow through to show I was serious.
As much as it killed me, I even broached the idea of hiring another person.
Mae working there was temporary, and without her mother, who said she’d be happy to do the books until I got someone, I’d need some permanent help.
We agreed if the bar re-opened tomorrow she didn’t have to come in. That would be two days not seeing her, since we were closed Monday. I was already miserable at the thought of it.
“Always is,” Mason said. “Spill.”
Where to even start?
“Bottom line is that Mae isn’t sure about her future, including me, and doesn’t want to ruin our friendship in the meantime.
At first my plan was to go all in, Beck style, but then I realized, with some help,” I admitted, “that’s not going to win her over.
Growing the fuck up, and doing it for the right reasons, is my only chance.
In the meantime, I’m giving her space. Not because I want to, but she needs to be sure.
Which is smart, I guess. I can’t imagine getting involved and then Mae decides small-town living isn’t for her. ”
“Isn’t that why she moved to France in the first place?” Parker asked.
“That and getting into pastry school. But yeah, Mae always talked about moving to a bigger city, with restaurants that could appreciate the kind of thing she enjoys creating.”
Mason shook his head. “I know a little something about the kind of decisions she’s making. It’s brutal. You’re right to give her some space to figure it out.”
“Mmm.” Parker made a face, like he didn’t agree.
“What?” I asked him.
“I get what you guys are saying, but neither of you know how good it can be unless you give it a go.”
“Oh, it can be very good. I’m sure of it.”
The guys laughed.
Cole was quiet, so despite myself, knowing his history, knowing very well he disagreed with the idea of marriage, I asked him what he thought.
“You’re the big city guy now. Any chance she’ll stay?”
I wanted him to say, “Sure,” and that the city wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. That there was a lot to do, but having the people that meant the most around you was more important.
“I wouldn’t get your hopes up.”
I waited, but that was it. Cole fielded a scowl from Parker and an eye roll from Mason by taking a sip of Scotch. The conversation moved on to talk of big city versus small-town living, but I wasn’t in the mood to join in.
I wouldn’t get your hopes up.
Thinking back to the day Mae was accepted into pastry school, I remembered her dancing around the kitchen table.
Literally dancing, hugging her parents, and me, as excited as I’d ever seen her in my life.
Living in Paris obviously appealed as much in real life as it had in her dreams. Mae had been prepared to stay there.
Paris. And I was trying to compete with the city of lights with a few dozen candles? In a bar she’d been going to since she was born? Suddenly my beer tasted bitter. I plastered a smile on my face when Parker busted my ass about a college prank they were reminiscing about. But it was forced.
I thought giving her space would help prove I was worth staying for. Now I wasn’t so sure.
* * *
“I hear you had an exciting day in here yesterday.”
I hadn’t even seen Mr. O’Malley walk in. It was a busy afternoon, thankfully for the staff, after being shuttered yesterday.
He came behind the bar to shake my hand.
“Welcome back,” I said, waving to Jenn to let her know the drinks were up. “How was Florida?”
“Better than expected, thanks to you.”
“All I did was accept your offer.”
“You did more than that,” he said with a knowing look, although he’d never outright ask how I got that amount of money to him so quickly.
“Anyway.” I re-directed the conversation. “You got out just in time.” I told him about the valve and we talked about the closing while I worked. Or more precisely, while we worked. He probably didn’t even realize he was serving customers, it was so automatic.
“Mae said she was off today.”
At the mention of her, I stiffened. There was nothing I wanted more than to pick up where we’d left off last night. When we danced, I imagined it was our wedding night, and Mae was my wife. But today, that felt like a pipe dream.
“She’s been living here,” I said. “The festival went well.” I grasped for topics that weren’t solely related to his daughter. “We’ve had a steady stream of customers from it.”
“That’s great. I’m glad you two were able to pull it together so quickly.”
Watching him working, something occurred to me.
“This is your legacy,” I said. “You always have a second home in here.”
“Thank you, son. I’ll admit coming in here today, there’s mixed feelings.
I spent more time in this place than anywhere else, I think.
Maybe my own home. Just remember to keep your priorities straight.
The people here”—he waved a hand to the customers at the bar—“are like family. But they aren’t family.
Mrs. O’Malley and I had more than one growing pain until we finally settled in. ”
“I’ll remember that, sir.”
“The Mrs. will be in tomorrow to help out with the books until you find someone. Mae said you were looking to hire?”
“Yeah, know someone who might be interested?”
“Let me think about it. And of course, Mae can help out until she figures out what she’s up to next. Although I think she might be onto something already.”
I tossed a bar rag over my shoulder and had been reaching for a clean pint glass. My hand froze.
“Oh yeah?”
“She’s been on the computer since we got home. Was looking at a pastry place in Brooklyn. I asked what she was up to, but she said it’s a surprise.”
I lined up a row of shot glasses like soldiers… anything to keep my hands busy while my mind spun.
Brooklyn.
It made sense. There were limited opportunities for her in Cedar Falls. That she was researching, and obviously excited about the possibility of leaving… I was such an idiot to think there was any possibility she might want to stay here.
Could I go with her?
I never imagined a life anywhere but Cedar Falls. More importantly, she hadn’t even asked for that.
Putting a smile on my face, I joined Mae’s father, pretending all was well. Pretending the woman I loved wasn’t slipping through my fingers.