Chapter 40
MAE
I looked around at the brick interior and barnyard wall accents, feeling like I’d left Cedar Falls.
Beck said The Grapevine Bistro and Bar was one of the best new lakeside places to hit our town in years, and I had to agree.
It definitely had a vibe, and I could easily become a regular at this place.
Looking at the door for the millionth time, there was no sign of Beck.
I couldn’t wait to tell him what I’d been up to.
As he walked in, I remembered him saying once, “Don’t walk into a place as if you work there.
Walk in as if you own it.” That’s exactly what he did now.
Confident, but not overly so, he strode toward me.
With every step, my body reminded me in little ways about last night.
About our kiss.
Reminded me this was no longer just my friend. Brakes or not, we’d begun to become much more than that, and denying it was silly.
“What’s cooking, good looking?” he asked, sitting across from me.
We’d snagged a window seat, and though there was a deck, it was closed. The wind made it too chilly to sit outside. May in the Finger Lakes was like that. One day, it felt like summer. The next, I was cursing myself for not wearing a jacket.
“Something yummy. I think it’s the steak behind me.”
“Steak for lunch.” He leaned over to see. “My kind of guy.”
“Welcome to The Grapevine,” our college-aged waitress said. She was pretty. Young. And into Beck. Her smile was bigger for him than it had been for me, and she looked at him like, well, she’d be more than happy to jump his bones.
Not that I blamed her.
“Can I get you something to drink?”
“A Coke, please,” he said. “Any lunch special today?”
While she rattled them off, I watched the exchange. He wasn’t flirting, precisely, but Beck couldn’t turn off the charm. It was ingrained from years of being fawned over. No doubt, by the time our meal was over, she’d be slipping her number to him on a napkin. Never mind I could be his girlfriend.
“I’ll get your drinks while you look at the menu,” she said to Beck.
“I might as well be invisible,” I teased.
“Not to me.”
He said it with a smile on his face, but Beck wasn’t teasing me back. He was serious, and it occurred to me that I must have been blind all these years to miss the signs. Granted, we’d been separated in college, and then again while I was in Paris. But still.
“We have a lot to talk about.” I took a sip of my diet soda, looking over the glass at him.
“Agreed.”
Much too soon, the waitress was back. I had a feeling we were going to get excellent—maybe too excellent—customer service on this lunch. We ordered just as a boat cruised by.
“I think that’s the Sunset Cruise. Its owner is married to Marco Grado. I met her for the first time at the girls’ night.”
“You never did tell me about that.”
He was looking at me so intently. Beck had that way about him, always making you feel like you were the center of the universe when he looked at you.
“It was a lot of fun. Like I said, we met Rae and had a tour of the main tasting room. I’d been in the barrel room before, but we got to see more of the process. All while drinking wine, of course.”
“Of course.”
“It’s an impressive operation they’re running, ramping up production. Adding a brewery. Thayle said they’ve had two wines final in international competitions since they took over. Pretty impressive.”
“I’ll have to get back down there one of these days. And speaking of day trips, I was thinking about the bar you went to in Kitchi Falls. What’s it called?”
“Boots and Brews?”
“Yeah, that one. I started cleaning out my things to take to the apartment and found my old cowboy boots.”
“I haven’t seen you in those in years.”
“Seems like the perfect excuse.” He grinned. “Maybe I’ll hit the tattoo place too.”
“You thinking of a new one?”
He had two, one on his arm and another on his back. They were sexy as hell, I didn’t mind saying.
“I’m thinking of a sleeve.”
Now we were talking. “Oh yeah? What would you get?”
“I have a few ideas. Thought I’d run them by you.”
And he did.
We talked tattoos. Ate our sandwiches. But finally got to the important stuff.
“I have to tell you something,” I blurted.
Why did Beck suddenly look like he was going to lose his lunch?
“I already know.”
That took me aback. “You do?”
“About Brooklyn?”
Brooklyn? What the hell was he talking about?
“Your dad mentioned it. Said you were looking at a job there.”
A job in Brooklyn? I was beyond confused.
“It was on your computer.” He clearly picked up on my confusion. It dawned on me then, what he was talking about.
“My dad said I was looking at a job in Brooklyn?”
Beck shrugged. “Something like that. Said you were being mysterious but that’s what it looked like to him. Guess I shouldn’t have mentioned it.”
I was about to clear things up when he added, “Kinda wish you did, though.”
His tone was hurt. Defensive.
But honestly? That was bullshit.
“So you think I’m that much of a cocktease to rile you up last night, all while I was getting ready to leave town? Seriously?”
At least now I wasn’t the only one confused.
“I don’t get your meaning.”
Maybe I was being unreasonable. But Beck should know better.
“That’s not me,” I said. “I’d never play with your feelings like that. I thought you knew me better than that?”
“Huh?” he asked, just as the waitress approached.
But suddenly, I wasn’t in the mood for her either.
“We’re good,” I said, before she could start side-eyeing Beck again. If she was surprised by my change in manner, Beck was too. But he didn’t say anything.
“I had a Brooklyn pastry catering business pulled up on my computer,” I said.
“And lots of others too. Because I’ve been researching the possibility of starting one of my own.
With the bed and breakfast order, and a few other leads…
I was trying to figure out the logistics of it.
And if I could sustain that kind of thing here, in Cedar Falls. ”
To say he looked shocked was an understatement.
“You honestly thought I would lead you on and then skip town? Really?”
“Guess I should’ve known better. But people like you don’t stay with people like me.”
In one statement, he knocked down everything we were trying to build. I was behind the scenes, fighting for us, and he was just waiting for me to disappear.
“You’ve got to be kidding me?”
“Wish I was.”
Beck doubling down wasn’t a surprise. But that he so thoroughly got me wrong was. So much for honesty and vulnerability.
“God, Beck.” I shook my head, hurt blossoming. “I was really hoping this would go differently.” I was expecting today’s lunch to be the start of something. Telling Beck about the business, getting his support… showing him I wanted this, or at least to try, despite the risks.
Instead, I was getting more of Mathieu. Emotional immaturity.
The last thing I needed in my life right now.
He looked like he meant it. Like that belief—people like me don’t get to keep people like you—was tattooed on his arm.
And it almost broke my heart. Almost. But I couldn’t keep offering softness where there should be trust.
“I think,” I said, picking up the napkin in my lap and folding it, “we should probably end this conversation before it gets any worse.”
He paused.
Beck could have responded in a million ways. Instead, he did the most Beck thing imaginable and shrugged his shoulders as if it didn’t matter.
As if I didn’t matter.
“Can I get you guys anything else?”
By “guys” the waitress meant Beck since I’d been invisible to her since he sat down.
“I’ll send you half of the bill,” I said, standing. “I’ve gotta go.”
The air felt heavy. Suffocating. Our waitress’s small smile made me realize I had to get the hell out of there, now. Before I said something stupid.
“Mae,” he called as I walked away, but it was too late.
People like you don’t stay with people like me.
He thought I was leaving. Jumped to that conclusion based off a website my father noticed. What other false conclusions would he invent, thinking he wasn’t good enough?
I wasn’t walking away to prove a point. I was walking away because if I stayed, I’d start fighting for something he’d already given up on.