Chapter 12
12
Kai
W hen the sound of Cole talking to someone had first penetrated Kai’s stupor over the beautiful images on the computer screen, he’d been too scared to leave Cole’s room, but the longer the voices vibrated against his eardrums, the more curious he grew. He’d gathered his courage and left the safety of Cole’s room. The sight of Cole standing in the doorway with his hand on some stranger, the look almost intimate, had caused a sharp pain in Kai’s chest. But the pain had dissolved into rage. How dare Cole touch someone else? Cole had sworn they were mates, hadn’t he? Wasn’t being mates supposed to mean something? His fox chattered furiously in his head, demanding Kai set him free to rip off the pretty blond boy’s balls with his sharp teeth.
He hadn’t even realized he’d made any noise until Cole turned to look at him. Satisfaction and the urge to give chase shot through him when the boy turned and ran to his car, obviously intimidated by Kai. When Cole asked him if the other man had scared him, Kai glared at him, offended at the same time as furious. “Why were you touching him?”
Cole stepped closer. “Does it matter?”
“Yes, it matters!” Kai snapped.
“Why?”
Kai froze, chest heaving from his rage. Why did he care so much? His fox made a high-pitched, aggressive sound inside his head as he thought about Cole being close to someone else. He cared because… because Cole belonged to them. The idea caused Kai’s heart to pound against his rib cage harder than it had the first time he’d ever stolen into someone’s home to rob them of their valuables for his uncle. “I-I….”
Cole moved until they were mere inches from each other. Kai almost gasped when Cole cupped his chin and tilted his head up. “Were you jealous, kit?” Cole murmured, rubbing his thumb along the line of Kai’s jaw.
“No,” Kai croaked.
“Liar,” Cole accused softly before covering Kai’s mouth with his.
Kai did gasp this time, his lips parting on a swift intake of breath, allowing Cole access in the process. Cole’s tongue surged inside, filling Kai, only to dart away before Kai could taste Cole in return. A whimper broke free, and Kai grabbed the front of Cole’s shirt, fearful Cole would leave him wanting… wanting what , he didn’t understand, but he tangled his fingers in the soft material of the T-shirt and held on tight. “Cole,” Kai begged.
Cole slid one strong arm around Kai’s waist while cupping Kai’s cheek in the other hand. “I’ve got you, kit,” Cole rumbled before diving in for another kiss.
A heavy warmth settled between Kai’s thighs, causing his cock to harden and his balls to throb with the need for release. He eagerly opened his mouth, accepting the erotic thrust of Cole’s tongue, this time meeting it with a tentative swipe of his own. Cole’s low groan vibrated all the way into Kai’s chest, and Kai loosened his death grip on the shirt to wrap his arms around Cole. Kai whimpered when Cole nipped at his bottom lip, mind fuzzy and pulse pounding in his ears, blocking out everything except the scent of Cole in his nostrils and the taste of him on his tongue.
He couldn’t have said how long Cole ravaged his mouth. All he knew when Cole stopped was that he didn’t want him to. He chased after Cole’s lips, but Cole prevented him from his goal by cuddling Kai close to his shoulder. Cole struggled for breath, every ragged indrawn gasp shuddering through Cole’s large frame. Did he really affect Cole to such an extent? The idea caused butterflies in Kai’s stomach, and he unconsciously nuzzled close to Cole’s throat.
Cole moaned and tightened his arms around Kai. “Kai,” he rasped.
Kai brushed an openmouthed kiss over the pulse point at the base of Cole’s neck. He drew in deep drafts of Cole’s delicious fragrance, the rich, earthy smell calling to his fox on a profound level. Flicking his tongue out, he tasted the salty, smooth skin.
“Fuck!” Cole howled, and Kai found himself pressed against the wall beside the bar separating the kitchen from the living room, blanketed by Cole’s larger, harder body.
Cole shoved his thigh between Kai’s legs while running his hands down the sides of Kai’s body and around to cup Kai’s ass. Kai squeaked in surprise, but he didn’t get a chance to voice any possible objection because Cole’s mouth captured his again, demanding and urgent. Kai opened under the onslaught, a moan slipping free as he ground against Cole’s thigh. He grasped at Cole in the rising storm, anxious for an anchor before he could be swept under, unable to find the surface again. Cole’s kiss grew more passionate, eager, and hungry the longer it went on, and surprise crashed through Kai when Cole lifted him up to fit himself between Kai’s legs. Apprehension began to set in, and Kai gripped Cole’s shoulders, pushing at him a little, trying to break the kiss to protest. Only Cole didn’t notice. Kai’s nervousness deepened, and he grew more frantic, shoving harder and struggling to turn his head.
When Kai began to cry, his tears seemed to bring Cole to his senses. Cole pulled away, dazed at first, and then horror dawned over his handsome features. “Kai,” Cole managed to gasp as he lowered Kai to his feet. “I-I’m sorry. I….”
Cole stepped away from Kai, running a trembling hand through his hair. Disgust and bitterness twisted his lips. Kai didn’t know how he remained standing, his legs weak and shaky, but he wasn’t afraid of Cole despite his reaction to the hot make-out session mere moments ago. He reached out a hand toward Cole, but Cole moved even farther away from him.
“Don’t,” Cole said angrily. “I’m sorry, kit. I didn’t… I….”
He broke off whatever he’d been about to say, spun on his heel, and slammed down the hallway and out of the house. A piercing, mournful howl seconds later broke Kai’s heart, and he raced toward the door, knowing he was too late to catch Cole but needing to try anyway. An empty moonlit yard met Kai when he reached the open door, and Kai closed his eyes, sagging against the wall to sink down to the floor. He hadn’t meant to hurt Cole, but everything had been moving too fast. He’d never even kissed someone until Cole. The idea of anything more had terrified him, but at the same time Kai knew he wanted Cole. He needed to explain to Cole, to make Cole understand what he felt, but Kai wasn’t even sure he understood it himself.
Kai remained by the door for hours, never moving, watching the trees for Cole. The moon moved across the sky, constant in her bathing light, but Cole didn’t appear. At some point, Kai began to nod off. His eyelids grew heavy, and he sensed he was falling asleep. He tried to stay awake but lost the battle sometime after midnight. What time it was when Cole returned, Kai didn’t know, but he roused when he felt strong arms sliding beneath him, lifting him from the floor. He struggled to wake up, to tell Cole what he wanted to say, but he could do nothing more than grunt.
“Go back to sleep, kit,” Cole’s voice rumbled in his ear.
Kai mumbled something unintelligible, but he couldn’t pull himself out of slumber enough to be cognizant of anything except Cole’s broad chest beneath his cheek and the arms cradling him close as Cole carried him. Then the softness of his mattress welcomed him, and Kai knew no more until he awakened the next morning.
L ight streamed in the window, and Kai sat up, rubbing at his eyes. He glanced at the clock and saw it was already morning. Memories of the night before set in, and Kai shoved the blanket aside to scramble out of bed. He needed to find Cole, to make him understand.
He made a pit stop in the bathroom first and then continued on his hunt for Cole. Kai followed the smell of freshly brewed coffee and fried eggs toward the kitchen. He noticed the pizza boxes were gone from the table by the front door and wondered if they had been wasted. His stomach gave a loud growl as he remembered he hadn’t eaten since lunch the previous day. He found Cole seated in the breakfast nook, sipping a mug of coffee, and he couldn’t help noticing the dark circles under Cole’s eyes and the way Cole wouldn’t meet his gaze when Kai entered the kitchen. Cole stood and began preparing a plate of food for Kai. Ignoring everything else, Kai approached Cole, and when Cole turned toward him to offer the food, Kai stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Cole’s waist. With a swift intake of breath, Cole tensed.
“What are you doing, kit?” Cole asked.
Kai laid his head on Cole’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
The tension in Cole’s body eased, and Kai closed his eyes when Cole set the plate of food on the counter to return Kai’s embrace. “For what?” Cole murmured.
“I wasn’t afraid,” Kai whispered.
Cole grunted. “Don’t lie to me, kit. I should be whipped for what I did last night.”
Kai made a horrified sound and stared at Cole. “No!” he protested. “I wasn’t afraid, I swear. I….” He looked down at the dark green shirt Cole wore, noting how much it reminded him of Cole’s eyes. “I’ve never….”
Cole took Kai’s chin between thumb and forefinger and gently urged Kai’s gaze to meet his. “I overwhelmed you.”
“A little,” Kai admitted. “I-I’m not scared of you, Cole,” he added.
“I made you cry,” Cole replied, his tone pained, eyes haunted.
Kai reached out to smooth away the lines of stress at the edge of Cole’s brow. His fingers shook as he waited for rejection, but Cole leaned into his touch, eyelids lowering to half-mast with what Kai could only identify as pleasure. It fascinated Kai to be able to influence someone as powerful as Cole. He’d never take advantage of it, ever, but he couldn’t understand how someone as beautiful, strong, and amazing as Cole could ever be hurt by him. He was insignificant, a nobody, a freak.
“I’ve never done any of those things before,” Kai explained, “and everything moved faster than I knew how to handle. It’s not your fault.”
Cole tightened his arms around Kai. “I should have noticed you were upset. You never should have gotten to where you had to cry. I’m a selfish bastard.”
“You are not! You’re the kindest, most generous person I’ve ever met,” Kai admonished. “Since my parents died, no one has cared whether I’ve eaten or even if I lived or died. I pushed you last night. You tried to stop, and I didn’t want to. If anyone is at fault, it’s me.”
Leaning his forehead against Kai’s, Cole sighed, the rush of breath fanning over Kai’s cheeks, sending warmth through Kai’s veins. “I never want to be a reason you cry, kit. Ever.”
Kai’s heart swelled, and a piece of the wall he’d erected over the years broke off and fell away. Swallowing hard, Kai managed a trembling smile and kissed Cole’s cheek, breathing in the sandalwood and cinnamon smell he’d become familiar with around Cole. He opened his mouth to reply to Cole, but his stomach chose to growl at that moment, loudly. Kai flushed in embarrassment.
Cole chuckled and nuzzled Kai’s temple. “Let’s eat, okay? Then I challenge you to a rematch at Need for Speed .”
Kai frowned. “But I kicked your butt yesterday.”
“Big words when I couldn’t concentrate because of a certain distraction.”
Kai’s breath hitched at the implication, and he hid a pleased smile as he stepped away to pick up his plate from the counter. “Sounds to me as if someone doesn’t want to admit he lost fair and square.”
Cole laughed out loud as he followed Kai to the table. “You keep telling yourself that, kit. We’ll see how bad you kick my butt today, hmm?”
“You’re on,” Kai replied.
The conversation caused a shift in their relationship, and everything seemed to get easier. Kai found himself shying away from Cole less and less with every passing second. He caught himself studying Cole whenever Cole wasn’t paying attention: his movements, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he laughed, the curve of his mouth when he smiled, the way the red in his hair shone in the right light, how his laughter rumbled in his chest, reminding Kai of the deep thrum of bass in a stereo, and the way he would catch Cole staring at him from the corner of his eye when Kai wasn’t looking his direction. All of it caused his belly to tighten with warmth and his fox to chirp in satisfaction. Kai made the conscious decision not to worry about any of it and to accept the emotions and see what would happen. His fox wanted to be there, and his animal spirit had never steered him wrong before.
By lunch, they’d played several rounds of Need for Speed , and Cole had given Kai another guitar lesson. “You’re picking it up fast,” Cole praised when Kai finished.
Kai beamed. “Thanks.”
“Are you hungry yet?”
He considered his belly for a moment and then shook his head. “Not yet.”
Before Cole could say anything else, a knock sounded on the door, and Kai tensed, his momentary lapse into happiness forgotten. Cole placed a hand on his shoulder. “Relax, kit. It’s just my mother.”
Kai frowned. “How can you tell?”
Cole tapped his nose. “Scent.”
“Oh.” Kai still hadn’t grown accustomed to using his sense of smell to identify others.
Cole squeezed his shoulder and released him before walking to the door to let his mother in. Kai didn’t cower this time, merely watched with caution as the pretty redhead entered the house and greeted Cole with a huge hug. She turned to Kai and smiled. “Hello, Kai.”
He nodded to return her greeting, never taking his eyes off of her as she moved farther into the living room.
“Did you tell Dad already?” Cole asked her.
Sara Ferris frowned. “I did. He wasn’t thrilled, but he understands.”
“Who knows? Maybe in six months at the next summit, things might be different.”
Kai tried to interpret Cole’s meaning, but he couldn’t come up with anything. Guilt bit deep again. Cole wasn’t going to the summit because of him. Before he thought twice about it, Kai blurted out, “I’ll go with you.”
Cole, who’d turned his back to Kai to speak with his mother, visibly tensed. He spun to look at Kai. “No, kit.”
Regret had already begun to edge its way in, but Kai stiffened his spine. Setting his mouth in a determined line, Kai said, “I want to go.”
Cole approached him and set his large hands on Kai’s shoulders. “Are you sure, Kai? You know there are going to be dozens of people there. Other shifters.”
He hesitated for a second. “Will you be staying in hotel rooms?”
“Lodges. To keep the possibility of any infighting, our pack will be staying in several on one side of the campus, and the other pack is staying in the other. We would have a private lodge, though. Just you and me.”
Kai bit his lip, gathered his courage, and replied, “Then I can stay in the lodge for the duration of the summit.”
Sara smiled. “See? It’s all going to work out. Your father is going to be thrilled.”
Cole still didn’t appear convinced. He peered into Kai’s eyes. “Tell me the truth, Kai. Why?”
“For you,” Kai replied. “You’ve already made it clear you won’t go without me. If I need to go in order for you to, then I will.”
Cole huffed, but Kai could see a slight flush on Cole’s cheeks. “You don’t have to do it for me. I can always go to the next one.”
Kai took Cole’s hand between both of his. “I really want to.”
Cole swept him up in a tight embrace, and he could sense Cole’s emotions—sheer elation and something much deeper. Pride. Kai didn’t understand how he could pick up on Cole’s feelings or what Cole was proud of, but nothing mattered to Kai at that moment save making Cole happy. He had done so much for Kai already that to be able to do something for Cole in return seemed small in comparison.
“Thank you,” Cole murmured near his ear.
Flushing, Kai kept his face burrowed against Cole’s chest when Cole released him to continue the conversation with his mother. “I guess we’re going to the summit.”
“Magnificent! I’ll let your father know. We’ve chartered a private jet for the trip, which means no worries about arrangements.” Sara moved closer to them, and Kai tensed a bit. “Kai?”
He lifted his head to look at her. She held out her arms with a warm look on her face. “May I hug you?”
Kai started, but after a contemplative minute of silence, nodded. “Okay,” he whispered, stepping away from Cole.
Sara slipped her arms around his body, and Kai forced himself to stand still as she tightened her hold briefly before letting him go. She reached up to touch his cheek. “You are going to be a wonderful mate for my son.”
“Mom!” Cole admonished.
Kai widened his eyes at her as she moved away. He swallowed hard at the sudden weight on his shoulders of being considered Cole’s mate. But hadn’t he told himself he would give it a chance? For Cole? He hadn’t thought much past the time they’d spent in Cole’s home, to the future and what it might mean for him, for them. Cole would be Alpha one day. Kai couldn’t imagine standing by Cole’s side, not when his scars and the things he’d done made him hideous. He would never be good enough to be Cole’s mate.
“What, sweetie? He is your mate. I’m not saying anything new or shocking.” Sara pouted at Cole.
Cole gave her a look Kai couldn’t interpret. “Just leave Kai be, Mom. Don’t push anything on him, okay?”
“Me?” she asked in feigned surprise. “I would never!”
Skepticism shone clearly on Cole’s features. “Uh-huh,” he replied, tone derisive.
She rolled her eyes and shrugged her elegant shoulders. “Can’t blame a mother for wanting the best for her son.”
Kai winced. If she knew everything about his past, she wouldn’t be saying he would make a great mate for Cole but rather chase him out of Cole’s home and their pack territory.
“Ignore her, kit.”
With a wan smile, he turned his gaze away from the both of them. The patterns in the flooring became interesting, and he stared at them while Cole and his mother continued to talk.
“We’re leaving next Friday morning. Your father wants to get there before everyone else and make sure there are no issues with the reservations. You know how things can be sometimes. We want to make sure we have the entire compound rented.”
“I’ll make sure we’re ready on time. Are Kasey and Seth going this time?”
“I am pretty certain they are. Kasey wants to see his brother.”
Cole grunted. “It’s hard to believe they have such an outdated law. Thayne didn’t do it on purpose.”
Kai looked up at Cole, curious about Nick’s mate and what he’d done. Cole must have seen the question on his face because Cole started explaining. “A few months ago, Thayne was exiled from his pack.”
Kai frowned. What had Thayne done to cause them to throw him out?
“Thayne made a Created One.”
“What’s a Created One?” Kai asked, tilting his head a bit.
“It’s when a born wolf completes a certain ritual and turns a human into a wolf.”
Kai raised his eyebrows. He didn’t know they could do such a thing. “What’s wrong with making a human a wolf?”
“Created Ones are… unnatural, and they rely on their animal instincts more and more the longer they’re wolf, to the point where they become dangerous,” Sara interjected. “Not only could they expose us, but they also begin to crave flesh. Any flesh.”
Shock and awe caused Kai to gape at Sara. He’d never considered eating a human, even in his fox form.
“In Thayne’s pack to make a Created One is punishable by death or exile,” Cole finished. “But in Thayne’s case it wasn’t intentional. He didn’t know he’d turned a lover of his until later. It doesn’t excuse the tragedy of the lives lost because of his mistake, but he did help destroy the Created One.”
“Destroy?” Kai asked in horror. “You mean killed them?”
“Yes. There is no choice because eventually it will become too dangerous to remain alive and could even expose our kind.”
“But—”
“We cannot risk humans finding out about us, kit,” Cole interrupted him. “Or allow it to hurt innocent people. Our pack does not have such unbending rules as Thayne’s old pack regarding mistakes made. We do not exile or put someone to death for making a mistake, but if someone does it intentionally, then they are punished and removed from the pack.”
“Oh stop, Cole. You’re scaring him,” Sara admonished.
Kai shook his head. “No.”
“There’s no need to hide how you feel, Kai.”
“I’m not scared. Just shocked.”
Sara gave Kai a sympathetic glance. “I know it’s a lot to take in, sweetie, but we aren’t as ruthless as it sounds. You’ll find we are mostly a peaceful lot unless provoked.”
Kai remained silent, lost in thought about what he’d just learned. What if they found out about his past activities? Would they banish him as well? The idea of not being able to be with Cole sent a sharp pang to his chest. His fox chirruped at him in melancholy.
“My job is done here, then,” Sara said. “Betas attending the summit will be meeting with your father this evening to discuss rules and what to expect from the other pack. I really think you should be there. Hopefully both of you, but I understand if being around so many people might be overwhelming, Kai.”
A shudder wound its way through Kai at the idea. “I think I’ll stay here.”
Sara embraced him again before he could protest, and then she was on her way out of the house. Kai stared after her as the front door closed behind her. She reminded him of a whirlwind, fierce and wild.
“Don’t worry. You’ll get used to my mother’s ways,” Cole said as if reading his mind.
“I’ve never met anyone like her,” Kai replied honestly.
Cole smiled. “She’s definitely one of a kind. I wouldn’t change a thing about her.”
Butterflies tickled Kai’s innards with warmth at Cole’s affectionate grin. He turned his head to hide the flush warming his cheeks.
“Let’s get something to eat, kit.” Cole ruffled Kai’s hair and turned toward the kitchen.
Kai trailed behind him, not all that hungry as he thought over the enormity of what he’d promised. At least he could remain in the lodge while there. What the hell had he gotten himself into?