Chapter 14
Harper
In the morning, I wake up and feel that embarrassment burning in my chest all over again. I know what Lincoln said and what the other two did, but that was in the peaceful nighttime. In the sunlight, the truth of what’s wrong with me looks ugly and harsh.
My room is empty, the chair next to the bed vacated. It’s early enough that the sun is still coming up properly, and I slip into the shower, washing as much of yesterday as I can from my skin.
The house is quiet when I’m out and dressed, and I head downstairs, hoping to avoid the men and their pity.
The gurgle of the coffee maker greets me, and Lincoln is there, barefoot and still in sweatpants with his back to me. He turns when he sees me and pulls another mug down from the cabinet without saying a word.
We make our cups of coffee in silence, and there’s actually something comforting about his quiet presence in the kitchen.
I remember the things he told me last night and marvel that someone so calm could have gone through so much.
But it explains how he seems to know what I need, and I’m grateful for it today, when I’m still getting my head back on straight.
Cash and Everett come down one after the other, and I brace myself for there to at least be some awkwardness. Maybe for them to tiptoe around me to avoid setting me off or to ask me to give them a heads up if I’m going to have another episode.
Instead Everett gives me his usual nod and morning grunt, and Cash flashes that grin. They make coffee and breakfast, and it could be any other morning since I came to stay with them.
Cora shows up a bit later, bleary-eyed and clutching her new stuffed animal. She makes a beeline for me, hugging me around the shins, and I pet her hair and try to reassure her.
No one mentions what happened yesterday and there aren’t any more probing questions. They don’t ask for follow ups about what I told them last night or anything. Instead, Cash turns to Cora as she sits down, waiting for breakfast.
“Ready to learn some more, little star?”
Everett and Lincoln pay attention, watching as Cash goes through the signs he’s picked up online. He says each word as he signs them, going slow so Cora can see the way he moves his hands.
Ever since that first morning, where I explained to them how Cora communicates, they’ve been doing this with her.
All three of them picking up signs from the internet, double checking on their phones as they go through each one so Cora will understand.
She’s picked up a small vocabulary of new words, ranging from colors or animals and requests for food.
They even came up with a special sign for Bessie, the cow that Cora is obsessed with and always wants to talk about.
It’s become something of a morning routine, and judging from the way Cora takes to it and focuses on what they’re showing her, she enjoys it as much as they seem to.
She signs back each word Cash shows her, her little fingers clumsy at first, but gaining confidence with repetition. When she does it perfectly the fourth time through, Cash grins at her accomplishment.
“You’re so clever,” he says warmly.
Cora’s whole face lights up, the sound that escapes her—not quite a laugh, but very close—hits me hard.
“What do you want for breakfast?” Lincoln asks, tipping his head at her.
Cora thinks about it and then does the sign for ‘waffles’.
“Waffles…” Lincoln makes a show of considering it seriously. “Yeah, we can do that. Will you come help me?”
She scrambles off her chair to run over to the stove. All three of the Alphas jump in to help put breakfast together. Cash drags a chair over so Cora can reach the counter, and Lincoln guides her through measuring ingredients for the waffle batter.
I can tell what they’re doing, keeping Cora busy so she doesn’t have time to worry about me, and it makes me feel warmer than I would have expected. I’ve never needed help with Cora before, but lately I’ve been wondering if that’s just because I’ve never had help with Cora before.
Everett leans against the counter at one point, cup of coffee in hand, and gives me a little smirk. “Lincoln’s taking charge now, but he didn’t used to be this good in the kitchen.”
“Everett,” Lincoln says. “Shut up.”
Cash laughs. “I remember those days.”
“No, you don’t.”
Lincoln doesn’t turn away from the counter where he’s greasing the plates of the waffle iron with sizzling butter.
Cash’s eyes are dancing with amusement. “Oh, I definitely do. Not every day that you walk into your house and find smoke billowing out of it.”
“What happened?” I ask.
Lincoln sighs, like he knows he’s not getting out of this without the story being told. “I tried to make soup,” he explains.
“Soup!” Cash crows. “He tried to make soup and ended up with something burned on the bottom of a pot that was never the same again.”
“We had to throw that pot out,” Everett replies. “Luckily, it was winter, and cold as fuck outside, so we just tossed it into the snow and let it sit there.”
“Until summer,” Lincoln adds.
“We might have forgotten about it,” Cash says in a low whisper, like it’s a secret. “It wasn’t really recognizable with the burnt shit and the rust.”
“How did you burn soup?” I want to know.
“The recipe didn’t say how long to simmer it for. It just said ‘let simmer’, so that’s what I did. And then… I got distracted.”
Cash laughs and even Everett chuckles at that. “Broke so many fire codes I should have arrested him,” Everett says.
Their banter is familiar now, and there’s something about the way they go back and forth with each other that makes the knot in my chest unwind.
I expected to learn more about them—whether I wanted to or not—by living with them, but I didn’t expect to learn this.
They’re not just attractive Alphas. They’re not just powerful men who have important positions in this town they call home. They’re good men, who have chosen each other as family and demonstrate that in everything they do. I can’t help but envy that bond.
My hand goes to my neck unconsciously, and I run it over the badly healed bites there.
They’re a constant reminder that I tried to have something like this.
I wanted a family, a bond that would see me through whatever bullshit life threw at me, and it fell apart. Worse, it was just flat out rejected.
Part of me still wants that even now. Even though I feel like I have to be honest with myself and accept that it will never happen for me. The little family I’m making with Cora will just have to be enough. The two of us, alone and unwanted by anyone else.
At least I can make sure Cora never feels the pain of being alone.
Later in the day, Cora and I head out so I can drop her off to spend time with Lainey and I can go to the bar for my shift. Cora’s in good spirits after her morning being taught to cook with the men, and she shows off her new signs to Lainey, who beams at her.
On my way to the bar, my phone rings, and I pull it out to see it’s Paul calling from the mechanic shop. Before I can let my mind run away with what he could be calling about, I answer.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Harper?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s Paul. Just wanted to give you a heads up about your car.”
I take a deep breath. “What’s the news?”
“Good, for once. The parts finally came in, so now we just have to put them in your car and you’ll be good to go.”
“Oh.” I blink, surprised that things are moving along this fast. “That’s great. How long do you think that’ll take?”
“Depends on a couple things,” he says. “But if all goes well, you should be back on the road in two days.”
Two days. When I first got here, two more days of waiting would have felt like an eternity.
Now, it sounds like no time at all. And I should be happy about that.
I should be relieved and excited even that I can finally get back on the road and get back to what was passing for my life before all of this happened.
I had a plan, and my car giving up the ghost threw a wrench in it, but the plan was always supposed to pick back up and keep going.
But… something constricts in my chest, and it feels a whole lot like loss.
I can’t think like that though. This was always going to happen. That was the point.
So I shake myself and force a smile, even though Paul can’t see me right now.
“That’s great news,” I tell him. “Thanks for letting me know.”