Chapter 10
10
ALTA
T he familiar masculine scent of cedar and spice infiltrated my senses, sending a flurry of excited butterflies to overtake the growing rage John had conjured. Two large hands wrapped around my biceps, preventing me from yanking away.
“Easy there, Lady,” Cas said in a soothing tone.
The soft fabric of his cotton T-shirt brushed along my forehead as I nodded and took a deep breath in, hoping it would halt the building angry tears.
“I’ll go ahead and start the interview. Mathews, let me know when the other husband arrives. He should be here any minute,” Chandler said at my back, his husky tone radiating restrained anger.
Sealing my eyes shut, I inhaled deeply, savoring his scent, then pulled away from Cas’s warm body. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him first. Instead, I glanced to Chandler, whose red cheeks and blazing eyes told of the fury boiling just below the surface. The man was all jokes and easy conversation, but his look and posture now were a startling reminder of the marine beneath the suit.
“What, Chandler?” I crossed both arms over my chest in an attempt to ward off the cold wind. Should have grabbed my jacket off the back of the chair before storming off.
“I wouldn’t go as far as giving him the title of savior,” Chandler said with a nod to Cas, who grunted and retreated toward their SUV. “But hero is one word they used when awarding him the Silver Star for valor in battle.”
Eyes wide, I slowly turned my eyes to Cas, who was storming toward me with a black coat clenched in his fist. When I turned back, mouth open to ask one of a million questions clogging my thoughts, Chandler was nowhere to be seen.
Heated fingers grazed across the tops of my shoulder, startling me out of the trance I’d slipped into.
“How did he…?” I thought out loud as a heavy coat engulfed my thin frame, smothering me in delicious heat instantly. I peered up at Cas, whose own gaze wasn’t on me for once. I turned, following his line of sight to the building. Understanding settled when I locked on John’s open office window. “Oh. So you two heard it all?”
“Enough.”
The scratch of flint drew my attention back to Cas. Gaze on me, he lit the end of the cigarette, the cherry burning bright with his first deep inhale, then blew out the harmful smoke in the opposite direction of where I stood.
“I don’t know how I feel about you two eavesdropping.” It was the truth. On the one hand, it was good that they knew I would stand up for them, but I also didn’t want them to think I was an ignorant girl for ignoring John’s clear warning.
“First.” He paused to take a deep inhale of smoke. I watched in fascination as his lips curled around the end. The tip of his tongue flicked against the center of his bottom lip after each drag. “It isn’t eavesdropping if two people are yelling so loud that you can’t help but hear it. Second, why does it matter if we heard if you meant it?”
“Meant what?”
A muscle twitched along his scruffy jawline. “Don’t play dumb, Lady. You’re not.”
I arched a brow and stepped back to lean against the building’s cold brick. “Yes, of course I meant it. Wouldn’t have said it otherwise.”
“Are you scared of me now that you know the truth?”
“The truth that you’re a hero?”
He flinched. Physically cringed, as if my words were poison-laced arrows shot into his skin. At his side, a scarred hand clenched into a tight fist. “I’m no one’s hero. I’m the man people call in to wreak havoc, not the hero who saves you from it.” He nodded toward the open window. “You defended me. Defended us in there with that dipshit. Why?”
He said it in surprise, as if he’d never had someone stand up for him. Maybe he hadn’t.
I focused on the pebble rolling back and forth beneath my boot with each push of my foot. “My dad is a game warden in Texas. A veteran too. As a kid, I remember hearing late-night conversations between my mom and dad, her counseling him through the actions he had to take at work to survive, or even sometimes talking about things he did while serving. It imprinted on me. The bits of a person that get chipped away with each life they took, even though it could’ve been their own if they hadn’t. I’m not defending people who use their power as a way to take lives just because they can. But that’s not who you are, or Chandler, or my dad, or most people who put on an officer or military uniform. That’s who I defend. The good guys who have to make a tough decision that will haunt them for the rest of their lives.”
Mustering a sliver of courage, I peered up into his narrowed, searching eyes.
“What?” I asked.
“There’s something else. You’re leaving something out. Tell me.”
“No I’m not.” How in the heck could he tell I left another key person out of my explanation? Was I really that easy to read?
“Lady, I want to know. Tell me. Now.”
Inside the long sleeves of Cas’s coat, I worked the edges of both thumbs with my index fingers. Other than my family and the officers who’d handled my case, and my friend Beth, no one else knew the truth of how Lance died. It wasn’t something I wanted to advertise because of what I did to her. Not me technically, but what she did to save me. She took a life to protect my own, and now she was the one who had to live with it. Not me. I had scars of my own, but Beth, she was never the same either.
I cleared my throat. “It’s nothing.”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
An older model navy pickup truck sped into the parking lot before screeching into a spot.
“I’ve seen firsthand what the weight of taking someone's life can do to someone. Even if it was justifiable.”
Before he could press for details, I shoved off the brick and shrugged out of his coat. “The other husband is here. Thanks for this.” Without the swaddling warmth of the oversized jacket, a shiver shook down my spine as I walked to meet the husband halfway.
“Hi, Mr. Brandon, I’m sure you remember me?—”
“Yep, the woman who couldn’t do anything, so they had to call in the FBI. Sure, I remember you.”
I stumbled on the flat black asphalt. “Sir, that’s not?—”
“And you know what, I’m fucking pissed that this didn’t happen sooner,” he roared in my face, sending a waft of alcohol up my nose. “If you hadn’t dicked around when my wife first went missing, maybe she’d be here now instead of still fucking missing.” The man stood tall, towering over me with his large build that probably took hours in the gym to maintain.
Instead of backing away, I straightened my spine, prepared to stand my ground against anything else he had to say.
“Step back. Now.” Cas’s dark, meddlesome voice at my back made my heart rate pick up.
The enraged man’s violent gaze lifted from mine and froze. A spike of fear shined in his bloodshot eyes. One step, then another, he backed away until he was well outside my personal space.
“The others are inside. Tell them who you’re here to meet with, and they’ll show you to the division director,” Cas demanded.
I held my breath. Not until the crunch of the dead leaves beneath tennis shoes faded did I turn. Immediately I stumbled backward a step. Shoulders back, pushed-up sleeves exposing the one full sleeve of tattoos, and head slightly bowed, dark eyes peering down, Cas looked as menacing as he sounded.
“Don’t you ever do that again,” he stated, his teeth clenched in his tight jaw.
“Do what? My job?” I protested, even though my voice was no more than a whisper. Somehow the ‘I’m a stone-cold killer’ look was a turn-on. Every inch of my skin lit on fire with the want for him to reach out and touch me. To have those long, thick fingers wrapped around my throat again, taking from me what I would willingly give.
“He was twice your size, Alta. When dealing with men like him, you need someone else with you, especially when they're emotionally unstable. He just lost his fucking wife—who knows what he’ll do. Hell, he could’ve had a gun, for God’s sake.”
“So do I.”
One small step from him put us nose-to-nose. “Don’t. Do it. Again.”
Tipping my head back, I stared into his dark eyes. The bright sun illuminated his features, shining flecks of light brown amongst the dark irises. Something he said worried me.
“Size,” I whispered, hoping it would help piece everything together faster. “They were both massive men.”
Cas stood silent, his eyes searching mine like he could see the wheels of my mind turning.
Maybe….
“Where’s Chandler’s iPad with the other crime scene and case photos?” I rushed out, a hint of excitement in my trembling voice.
Cas’s eyebrows narrowed in confusion. “At the cabin?—”
That was all I needed to hear. Turning on the balls of my feet, I took off running across the parking lot toward the exit.
“What are you doing?” Cas yelled after me.
“I think… I might’ve figured something out. Something we can profile about this guy,” I shouted back. At the edge of the road, I turned to see him still standing in the parking lot, hands on his hips.
“I have the car keys.”
Looking up the road, I turned back with a broad smile. “Scared you won’t be able to keep up? Get Benny, would you?”
Even from where I stood, there was no mistaking the grumbled curses.
Knowing there was no way he could resist the challenge, I turned and took off once again, only to have two dark shadows by my side less than a quarter-mile later.
“Running helps me think,” I said through my even, deep breaths.
“We’re in hiking boots.”
“Already coming up with excuses for why you’re going to lose, huh?” I laughed and rammed a shoulder into his ribs.
Retaliating, he shoved me into oncoming traffic with a deep laugh before tugging me back to safety. “Come on, Lady, let's see if you could’ve cut it in the marines.” Without warning, he upped his pace, leaving me to breathe in his dust.
“Well, poop,” I exclaimed with a happy smile.
This was fun. I snuck a quick peek down to Benny at my side, who looked up at the same time. I could’ve sworn he was smiling.
For the first time in forever, we were having fun. And it was glorious.
“What do I get,” Cas wheezed, “for winning?”
Shoulder against the side of the cabin, I gripped my ankle and pulled it back, stretching my tight muscles. “It was a tie, and you know it. Don’t try to cheat.”
His lips twitched upward in an almost smile. “What are we doing here again?”
“iPad.”
“Kitchen table is the last place I saw it, I think,” Cas said as I squeezed past.
“Thanks.” Ignoring the wonderful warmth his body emitted and the sweet smell of manly sweat, I strode to the kitchen table and swiped the iPad open. “Something you said back there, about the husband being twice my size. It made me realize I had the same thought about him and the first husband. Both abnormally large, strong, and fit.”
“Could be a coincidence. Aren’t most dudes fit?”
An incredulous laugh rattled through my chest. “Um, no. But if you seem to think so, maybe I should go where you hang out, if they all look like you.” Well snap . “I mean your friends. If you think everyone’s fit, I’d love for you to meet your friends. I mean me to meet your friends. You know, because they sound hot like you.” Double snap. “I’m going to stop talking now and focus on these pictures,” I grumbled in complete embarrassment.
Heat crept across my cheeks.
Focus. Focus on the task at hand.
Thankfully Cas didn’t mutter a word about my ramblings of finding him attractive; he simply disappeared into his room. At the sound of a shower, I sneaked to the front door, locked it once, twice, and a third time, then went back to my seat, resuming my picture-scrolling with hopes that my random connection wasn’t so random after all.
“It can’t be a coincidence,” I mumbled as I flipped through the pictures again and again. I saved pictures of the husbands in a separate file to make the comparison easier. Like the two husbands here, the others were all fit too—a few looked like they had some illegal steroid help—massive and, by their looming postures in the pictures, also dominant.
I peeked to the couch. Half an hour ago, Cas emerged from his room, freshly showered and dressed in a pair of mesh shorts and a long-sleeve T-shirt. Since then, he lay on the couch in complete silence, just staring at the ceiling. It was unnerving how well he played the silent, hot guy.
I needed to break the silence before I exploded.
“Want to see what I’m seeing?” I asked, swiveling in the chair to watch for a reaction that I didn’t get. “Okay fine. I’m going to run back to the station?—”
“For fuck’s sake, woman, no more running. I had enough of that shit in boot camp. Bring that thing over here. I’m not getting my ass up. My legs are sore.”
With the iPad cradled against my chest, I couldn’t help my smile as I shuffled across the room to the couch. Tentatively, I kneeled on the floor beside his head and rested the screen on his chest.
“Okay, see this guy? This is the husband of the first woman who went missing.” Fingertips on the screen, I spread them wide to zoom in. “He’s a head taller than all the people around him, and look at the cuffs of his T–shirt. If he breathed too deep, they’d rip apart.” I swiped to the next. “And this guy. I mean, the low-dip tank top is a dead giveaway, plus his anaconda arms.”
“Anaconda arms,” Cas chuckled. “Is that even a thing?”
“Yes,” I responded defensively. “Well, it used to be. Haven’t been around a lot of girls recently to be in the know for what’s said nowadays.”
Before I could swipe to the next example, a hot hand wrapped around my wrist. The iPad slipped from my grasp and fell to his hard stomach. “Tell me one thing about you. One thing so I’ll stop feeling so damn stupid obsessing over a woman I don’t even know.”
Obsessing? That word should’ve caused fear, but instead, a flood of relief washed through my veins.
This wasn’t just a one-way street. He felt it too.
The thumb circling the underside of my wrist created a reverberating shock through my veins with each pass.
“I’m not that interesting,” I whispered as I licked my lips.
“One thing. I’m not asking for much here, Lady. And make it something terrible so I’ll be able to stay away, like I should.”
Lady. My middle name. Keeping my focus on his still-brushing thumb, I smiled as I spoke. “My name. I’m named after my great-great aunt. Most people knew her as Lady Bird Johnson, which is why my nickname has always been Birdie. No one ever uses my middle name. Well, except you. And bonus answer, I kind of like it.”
“Me too. Suits you.”
Cas’s hand inched up my arm until his palm pressed against my cheek.
Turning my face to his, I kept my gaze on his chest. “I don’t know what’s going on. It’s… I haven’t?—”
“This is me hanging on by a fucking thread. Every second you’re in the room, it’s torture to stay away. I want you in ways I haven’t wanted in a long damn time. In ways I shouldn’t want you. Tell me to stay away, Lady. Make me stay away.”
He pulled me closer, brushing his nose against the sensitive skin of my lower neck and inhaling deeply. Every thought, every nerve and sensation narrowed on the places he touched. Every breath, every brush of his skin against mine sent a wave of lust and heat to my core, increasing my already rapid breaths.
“Make me pull away,” he whispered so softly that it almost got lost in the sounds of my heavy breathing.
Too long ago. Way too long ago was the last time a man made me feel this way—needed and desired and okay with allowing it. And not just allowing it, but requiring it.
Make him pull away? Heck no. I wanted this.
Slick lips tentatively pressed against my pulsing vein, urging a trembled moan to pass my lips. His hand tightened around the back of my neck, making it arch and giving him more area to explore.
“Fuck, you taste good.” He dragged the tip of his tongue up the length of my neck before wrapping warm lips around my earlobe. “What are you doing to me?” he whispered into my ear. “I should stay away from you, for your own good, but I can’t. I want to taste every inch of you, hear you when you feel safe enough to let go, feel you giving me the control to make it the fucking best you’ve ever had.”
Words stuck in my throat, and all energy went to my pounding heart, on the verge of a heart attack. Yes, to everything he said. Yes, and tack on a please to the end. It’d been so long. Too damn long.
Now, with him, it was time to end the ten-year dry spell.