Chapter 14
14
CAS
T he rattle of a truck pulling into the drive pushed me deeper into the darkness the forest provided. Bright beams of light cut through the trees, forcing me behind a thick oak trunk to ensure I wasn’t seen. Not that waiting was wrong, but watching from the shadows for her to return from her shift might come off as disturbing instead of why I was really out there.
I was freaked the fuck out.
The more Peters and I studied the bastard abducting those women, the more I knew my Lady was a potential target. Alta coming home three hours late from her shift didn’t help my over-the-top protective instincts either. Which was why I was out here at three in the morning, waiting and watching to make sure she made it home safe.
Just as she killed the truck’s engine, a new truck roared up the short drive and skidded to a halt beside hers.
Jealousy set my lip in a snarl as her dipshit boss stepped out of the other truck and stormed to her door, which still hadn’t opened. On silent feet, I weaved between the trees, moving close enough to hear their conversation.
Okay, maybe now it was creepy, but fuck, I needed to know why he was there so late.
A rogue thought dropped like lead in my stomach. What if they were together? What if she played me? My feet paused. My fingers twitched against my thigh, desperately wanting to dig into my pocket and pull out a cigarette.
I shook my head to dislodge the idea. No, Alta wouldn’t do that. Something else was going on.
“Birdie,” John yelled at the windshield. “Open the fucking door.”
The driver door swung open. Shoulders slumped, spine rounded, she looked exhausted as she climbed out. Exhausted and dirty. Unease dropped my gut as Alta stepped into the light from the front porch. That wasn’t fucking dirt. I had seen enough in my lifetime to know exactly what covered the front of her uniform. Blood.
“John,” she said with a sniff, her voice hoarse and weak. “Go home. You can lecture me tomorrow, but tonight, I need a shower and would like to forget today ever happened. We got the guy, that’s what matters.”
“You could’ve been killed,” John yelled in her face.
Red-hot rage set one foot in front of the other. By the time I made it to the edge of her lot, Alta was halfway up the front steps with John two steps behind.
“Go home, John,” she said just as I stepped around the corner of the house, still hidden by the shadows. “I want to be alone, okay? Go home.”
“Birdie—”
“I said go home!” she screamed.
“No,” John responded, his voice cold and determined. “I’m not leaving you alone.”
The grind of the flint of my lighter snagged their attention. After a deep, soothing inhale of glorious cancerous smoke, I moved into the light. “She won’t be,” I stated while releasing a cloud of frosty breath and smoke. “Listen to the lady and leave.”
Alta faced the door, almost like she was scared to make eye contact, while the idiot John stepped closer, cutting off my path to her.
“What the fuck are you doing here? You stalking her?” Jealous anger dripped from each of his accusing words.
“Making sure she’s safe.” My gaze locked on John, I said, “You okay, Lady?”
Keys rattled in her hand as she lifted them to the first lock instead of answering.
“Just go, John,” she whispered. Her voice sounded as tired as her body looked. “I’ll come in tomorrow.”
“Then he goes too.”
“Nope,” I said, letting smoke filter through my wide smile.
“John, please,” Alta begged. At the second lock, her hand slipped, sending the keys falling to the porch. “Go.”
Five seconds, maybe less, was all the fucker had to obey her order. Hell, I should’ve clocked his ass for the fact that she had to repeat herself, twice. But I couldn’t trust myself like this. Not with the anger and unease flooding my veins. Who knew what I would do to him. Every instinct commanded me to protect her at all cost.
Protect my Lady.
Mine.
Hadn’t even kissed her, and yet every cell in my damn body screamed it. She imprinted on me in a way no woman ever had. Alta Johnson was mine, but I was just as much hers too.
“Now,” I said in a voice so calm there was no mistaking the underlying threat.
Smarter than I took him for, John heeded the warning and stepped off the porch, never taking his eyes from mine. In the most drawn-out retreat in history, the bastard’s truck finally sped away, kicking gravel and dust in its path.
Her mouth opened.
“Don’t waste your breath.” Between two fingers, I pinched out the cherry of my cigarette and stuffed the filter into the pocket of my coat. “I’m not leaving.”
Alta’s hazel, tear-rimmed eyes found mine.
At the sight, my heart, hardened by years of being unwanted and having any sympathy or useless emotion beaten out of me in the marines, splintered.
A sob bubbled from her chest. Without warning, her knees buckled, sending her tumbling to the porch.
Within seconds, her lean frame was tucked in my arms, held tight to my chest. I cursed her fucking three deadbolts as I worked to hold her and open the door at the same time.
Inside, a pitiful whimper brought my attention to where Benny sat on his hind legs, paws reaching for the beautiful creature in my arms.
“Down, boy. She’ll be okay.” The sole of my foot slammed against the door, securing it shut. “You watch the door, and I’ll take care of her.”
I swear the dog nodded before swinging his dark eyes to the door.
Having memorized the layout earlier, I carried her into the small bathroom. My knees cracked as I squatted, setting her on the floor with her back resting against the tub. I unlaced her boots and placed them beside the door in a perfectly straight line. Next came her socks, which were tossed into the overflowing hamper.
I stayed quiet as I worked. She would talk about what happened when she was ready, but I did have to make sure the blood on her clothes wasn’t hers. Each second that question went unanswered was torture.
“Are you hurt?” I asked in a calm, even tone, completely different than the mess of emotions inside me.
The top of her black beanie wobbled up and down as she nodded with her forehead pressed against her bent knees.
“Show me. I need to stop the bleeding.” Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. She had to be okay. But it wouldn’t surprise me if my bitch of a life gave me a hint of one good thing, then ripped it away before it could be great. Why did I ever think someone like me could have a sliver of something wonderful like her?
“My heart,” she mumbled through a sob, both delicate hands clasped over her heart. “My heart is… my heart is broken.”
Um.
What?
“I shot her.” Swollen hazel eyes peered up to meet mine. “I killed her,” she cried.
What. The. Fuck.
“It’s okay, Lady. You’ll get through it. I’m sure she deserved it?—”
“She was innocent,” Alta seethed, narrowing her bloodshot eyes. “That bastard made me kill her.”
“John?”
“No,” she huffed, like I wasn’t smart enough to keep up with the flow of the conversation. “The other guy. But we caught him, poaching jerk.”
Okay, maybe I was starting to catch on.
Reaching up, I tugged off her hat and held her tear-streaked cheeks between my calloused hands. So tiny, so frail tucked between the hands of a trained killer.
“Poor Darla,” she cried and slammed her eyes shut. “She was so beautiful.”
And I was lost again.
“Darla?”
Slick cheeks slid against my palm as Alta nodded.
Yep. Very, very lost.
“How do you live with it? Taking a life?” Once again, those eyes fluttered open to search mine.
Leaning closer, I unzipped her thick coat. “You’re asking the wrong person, Lady. I’m perfectly okay with taking a life.”
One long blink, then another, and I swore she read through the lie. Through that lie and every lie I’d ever told to keep from allowing anyone in. If no one mattered to you, then no one could disappoint or hurt you. That was the one truth I held on to and believed wholeheartedly since I could remember. But one ferocious, scared, stunning Lady saw straight through it all, she saw me.
Unnerved by the way she cut through my bullshit, I stood from the floor and reached into the shower. After turning the faucet all the way hot, I spun toward the door.
“Cas?” Hand on the doorknob, I peered over my shoulder to where she now stood, nervously fumbling with the zipper of her coat. “Thank you.”
My brows furrowed, not understanding. “For what?”
“For being you.”
Benny’s coarse fur tickled my palm as I ran my fingers along his head. The denseness of the early morning air made the quiet night deafening. Through a puff of smoke, I watched out into the trees to the spot where I’d stood waiting an hour or so ago. Something felt off. The way Benny sat on high alert told me he felt it too. Almost like someone was watching.
Benny’s head pulled from my hand to whip toward the door before padding over and sitting on the front mat. The door swung open, allowing a freshly bathed Alta to tiptoe out. Cutting my gaze to her, I sucked in a deep breath. Fuck, she was even more beautiful with her hair down. Visions of my fingers tangling in its depth, holding her exactly where I wanted, filled my mind before I could blink.
“I thought you left,” she said while rubbing her arms.
In response, I held up the nearly gone cigarette between my fingers.
“Right,” she breathed with a sigh of relief. “I’ll be inside when you’re done. But you’re coming back in, right?”
My brows furrowed together, not understanding. Did she think I would leave?
“It’s just that—” She buried her face in her hands. “I’m not good at all this, and I don’t know if you’re leaving because I’m a mess or if you’re going to stay.”
“Do you want me to stay?” I asked after the last drag of the cigarette.
Her head cocked to the side. “Only if you want to.”
Fuck this bullshit talk.
“Lady, it’s a yes or no answer.”
“Yes,” she said quickly. “Of course I do. I feel… I can be me when you’re around.”
After pinching off the cherry of the cigarette, I hooked an arm around her shoulders and urged her inside. Benny’s long nails clicked along the worn wooden floors toward his bed before he fell into it with a loud huff.
Alta settled on the couch, tucking a random pillow under her arms and crossing her legs in front of her like a pretzel.
“Listen,” I said from where I leaned against the kitchen counter, running a hand along the rough stubble along my jaw. “We need to figure out next steps for you. Was Darla armed when you shot her?”
“Armed?” she scoffed. “How would she be armed?”
“People sneak guns into state parks all the time?—”
“Oh,” Alta said with a cringe. “Sorry, Darla is… wasn’t a person.”
I felt my brows shoot up my forehead. “Then what was Darla?”
Nervously she picked at a seam on the pillow. “A deer.”
“A deer?”
“Darla.”
“Darla was a deer?”
“Yes,” she said with a cringe.
“You named a deer Darla.”
Alta’s shoulders rose and fell. “It fit her. Darla the deer.”
The randomness of our conversation and her utter goodness pulled a wide smile up my cheeks. “Got it. Darla was a deer, and you had to shoot her.”
Those hazel eyes rolled to the ceiling. “Yes. She was wounded. It was the only humane thing to do. Stop looking at me like that,” she grumbled. “I name all the animals, okay?”
Grabbing a stool, I shifted along the top to get comfortable, then waved a hand for her to continue. Her pointed huff in exasperation made my already broad smile grow.
“Okay, so it varies. The first letter of the animal's type has to match the first letter of the made-up name.” One look and she knew I wasn’t following. “Examples. Molly the moose, Chippy the chipmunk, Hailey the hawk, Oscar the otter. You get the picture. They all have names because they’re personal to me. I take their safety seriously, more seriously than the park visitors.”
Of course she did. This woman was beyond anyone I’d ever known with her pure, genuine heart. Staring at her tucked on the couch, far out of my reach, realization smacked me across the face. I would ruin her. The darkness inside her I’d felt when we first met was merely a shade of gray compared to my dark abyss of a soul.
At her widemouthed yawn, I stood and gave a pointed glance to my watch. “It’s late. I should go. You good?”
Her head bobbed up and down, but sadness still lurked behind her eyes. “Yeah, I’m good. Thanks again for staying with me.” She looked down to Benny, who’d trotted over to say goodbye. “It’s nice to have someone to talk to who responds.”
“Stop by tomorrow morning. Peters and I want to go over a few things about the case.”
“Sure.” The soft pitter-patter of her bare feet against the wood floor trailed me to the door. “You don’t… do you want to stay?”
Turning from the door, I faced her. “An hour ago, you were a sobbing lump on your front porch. You need time to decompress and sleep. If I stay, Lady, you wouldn’t get either.”
For the first time tonight, the corners of her lips twitched upward in an almost smile. “And you said you couldn’t be gentle. You thinking of me first says otherwise.”
Before she could blink, my hand tangled in her long damp hair as I shoved her back against the door. Curling my fingers into a fist forced her neck to arch. “Patient, Lady. I’m a patient man. Knowing when to strike, waiting for the perfect moment is control, not gentle.” Her body quivered as I bit down on her long, lean neck.
As quickly as I’d pinned her against the door, I released her and moved aside to open the door. With one last perusing look, I smirked at the tiny indentions in her skin. “Lock the door behind me.”
Halfway back to the cabin, still smiling, it hit me.
Those few minutes alone with her, listening to her random ramblings… for the first time in my life, I was happy.