Chapter 19
19
RAE
E very worry about being naked outdoors, the sun highlighting every imperfection, vanished when he sealed his face between my legs. He licked up my wetness, sucking my clit with every pass. I writhed on the bed’s soft mattress, the pleasure too much and not enough at the same time.
I dug my nails into the thin mattress to keep from reaching for his head.
“You’re delicious, Sunshine. I could eat you forever and never have my fill.”
“Okay,” I said breathlessly.
His chuckle tickled. I sucked in a breath when he added another finger, the fullness almost too much. I tried to push away, but a hand wrapped around my waist and held me in place.
“If you want to take me, all of me, I need to make sure you’re ready.” He thrust those fingers in and sucked on my clit. A rush of pleasure washed away any hint of pain. “That’s it, relax. I’ll take care of you,” he purred.
Back arched off the bed, I squeezed my eyes shut as bolts of desire and pleasure surged through my veins. Sweat slicked my hot skin. Too soon an orgasm ripped through me, tearing me apart in the best way possible. I floated above the bed, breaths coming in rapid succession as I hovered in the bliss only a full, earth-shattering orgasm could offer.
When I managed both eyes open a slit, I found his stormy gray ones on me as he planted soft kisses and nips to my inner thigh.
Pushing up, I reached for his swim trunks but paused, my fingertips brushing the elastic. Peering up through my lashes, I silently asked for permission. With a cocky smile, he hooked both his thumbs into the low-slung shorts and tugged.
My mouth gaped open when his full, hard erection bobbed only inches from my face. A whimper escaped at the thought of him in my mouth. I licked my lips and leaned closer, but a fist in my hair stopped me short.
“If we want this to last longer than a few minutes, then I can’t have your mouth on me.” He flexed forward, brushing the head of his dick against my lips. “Later.” Bending forward, he kissed me hard, forcing my mouth open with his tongue. We lay back on the bed, his massive body covering mine.
Elbow to the mattress, he hovered, careful to not place his full weight on me. We both moaned into the other’s mouth when he slid between my folds. Back and forth he flexed his hips, coating his cock in my wetness.
“Alec, I’m not… I mean, there hasn’t been a reason for me to be on birth control.” I cringed internally, hating that this might have to stop.
He simply kissed and nipped at my lips. “I had a vasectomy at eighteen, determined to not create more monsters like me. And I’m clean.”
I groaned in relief.
With a shift, he used his hips to widen my legs and push against my entrance. Lungs full, I held a breath as he pushed forward. Inch by inch he watched me, searching for any sign of pain. Fully seated, our lower halves sealed together. His lids fluttered closed, and a soft groan passed his parted lips.
His heavy breaths fanned across my face.
“Fuck, this feels better than I imagined.” Slowly, his eyelids opened. “Every inch of you was meant for me.” He thrust, making me gasp. “Inside and out. You’re squeezing the life out of my dick,” he panted. “I’ve never felt anything better.”
A hiss whistled through his clenched teeth as he pulled out to the tip. I whimpered, missing the fullness, which turned into a groan when he slammed back in and ground against my clit.
In and out he thrust, each harder than the last. The entire cabana bed moved as he picked up the pace, our pants mingling. Sweat dripped from his brow to the sheets beneath me. Still sunk deep inside me, he kneeled on the bed, lifting my hips to rest on his thighs.
A wicked smile spread across his face as he dipped a hand between us and flicked my clit. Another orgasm ripped through me, a silent scream releasing as I shattered. Still, he continued to pound into me. That hand snaked up my stomach, tweaking one nipple and then the other, eliciting a pitiful whimper from me.
That rising hand wrapped around my throat and constricted. A thumb pressed beneath my chin, arching my neck and directing my gaze from where he pounded into me to his strained face.
Another rush of wetness slicked between us at the utter helplessness I had under his control. And I fucking loved it. This was pure trust. The hand cupping my ass, holding me to him, squeezed tightly, shooting a burst of pain.
With a barked curse, he slammed into me and stayed seated as his own release rocketed through him. His muscles tensed and twitched as his hips slowly flexed, wringing out every second of pleasure.
Panting, I tried to shake my head when he released my backside and slipped forward and rubbed against my overly sensitive clit. That hand around my throat tightened a fraction, a warning. Within seconds, another wave of pleasure had me whimpering and squeezing around him.
Lines of sweat streaked down the sides of his face as he panted, smiling. Reaching over, he grabbed the towel I’d discarded earlier and wiped his face, then down his defined chest and rippled abs.
When I tried to wiggle off him, he shook his head and gripped both hips, holding me in place.
“You’re not going anywhere, Sunshine. Not now, not ever. Just give me a second to be ready for round two.”
Round two?
Hell yes.
The most glorious hot bath relaxed every single sore muscle and chased away the memory of why I was staying at this glorious estate. Standing in front of a mirror in the expansive master bathroom, I studied my reflection. My grip tightened on the towel secured around my chest before releasing, allowing it to flutter to the floor and puddle at my feet.
My gaze stayed locked on my own in the mirror, too afraid to slip lower. With an inhale for courage, I squared my shoulders and looked down. Alec’s praises and compliments of my body, the one I’d been critical of my entire life, sank deep and inspired this. I looked over my reflection, taking in every curve and dimple. If he found me beautiful, imperfections and all—just as I did him, though his were internal—why couldn’t I? Why could I only see the bad just like him?
I shivered at the memory of him kissing every inch of my skin, of the pleasure-filled sounds he made while he licked me clean. Palms to my waist, I brought them straight out for a rough gauge to how wide I was there.
Huh. My reflection’s head tilted as I inspected the rough measurement. That couldn’t be right. It looked smaller, thinner than I remembered.
Doing the same with my hips, I laughed to myself. Yep, those were still wide, yet when Alec’s huge hands held me, they felt tiny.
Maybe, just maybe, he was right. I’d allowed society’s negative words and harsh looks to alter the way I saw myself. I’d allowed people who didn’t know me from Eve, whose opinions did not matter, to make me feel bad about my body.
How fucked-up was that?
I had great legs, a pretty little face, thick naturally shiny dark hair with a soft wave some women spent hours mastering. Sure, there were some areas that weren’t perfect, but who was? This was me. I should be proud of that, not embarrassed.
My hands tightened into fists at my side.
How long had I believed I was unattractive because of the double digit on the back of my pants or the small cup size listed on my bras? How long had I failed to see the beauty in myself because I was too focused on the rest?
Shaking my head in disappointment at myself, I tugged on a pair of panties and one of Alec’s old army T-shirts. I had plenty of my cute matching outfits in the other room, but this felt better—right, considering I was sleeping in his bed tonight. Collar pressed to my nose, I inhaled, securing his unique masculine scent into my memories. He thought it was odd that I wanted a slightly used shirt of his, but I told him to add it to my list of quirks.
Like the online stalking I’d done the day before he reentered my life.
The tile was cool beneath the balls of my feet as I tiptoed across the bathroom. The cold air-conditioning whooshed over my hot skin when I pushed the door open to the bedroom. Alec lay sprawled across the California king bed, one arm tucked behind his head while he read something on his phone.
Those gray eyes slid to me as I hurried to the bed. “I like you in my clothes.”
“Yeah?” I questioned without expecting an answer. Climbing onto the bed, I scooted to the area he patted in request next to him. When I relaxed back, I groaned. “This bed is heaven.”
An arm snaked beneath my shoulders and curled, tucking me against his side. I kept my arms close to my chest to keep from wrapping them around his naked waist.
“There, that’s better.” Keeping me secured next to him, he went back to studying his phone. I smiled at nothing and shifted to find a comfortable spot. Cheek to his chest, I nuzzled his pec like a cat. Several minutes of comfortable silence passed, but the urge to hold him became too much.
“Alec.” His skin pebbled where my breath brushed.
“Yeah?”
“Will you tell me why?”
Not tearing his gaze from the phone, he smirked, that adorable dimple popping out to say hello. “I need you to narrow that down for me.”
“The restraining. Why?”
I immediately wanted to eat my words when his entire body tensed, my comfortable muscle pillow now stone. I shifted to stare up at his face, but he kept his gaze straight ahead. His Adam’s apple bobbed with a hard swallow.
“Did you notice my back earlier, in the pool?” I nodded, too afraid to speak. All those scars. I shivered and nestled closer to his body heat. “When he was feeling incredibly cruel, maybe from a bad day at work or wanting to get back at Mom for whatever thing she did wrong in his eyes, he’d secure my hands and tie me down to anything heavy or immovable.” Alec’s voice hardened, fury tightening his face. “Then he’d beat the shit out of me with his belt.” There was no warmth in the smile that crept up his lips, forming more of a sneer. “He enjoyed using the end with the buckle.”
“How did I not know?” I placed a soft sorrow-filled kiss to his skin. “How did no one know?”
“He hid it well and paid off anyone who came around asking questions. My mom couldn’t leave, couldn’t even trust the police department. My dad had everyone in that town in his pocket.”
“Is that why you didn’t come back?” I whispered.
Eyes closed, he leaned his head back against the wooden headboard. “That day, the day I finally grew some balls and fought back, was because we’d just made plans. Life plans, and I knew if I wanted any of those to come true with you, I had to stand up to him. So I did. That night I didn’t bow down when he came after me. Instead I fought back. We fought, and I won.” My head moved with each of his harsh breaths. “And I kept hitting him. Face smeared with blood, eyes almost swollen shut, and I just kept pounding my fists into his smiling face. And I liked it. That’s when he laughed and said I’d finally become the man he’d trained me to be, that he was proud of me. That stopped me from killing him. And just like that, fear wrapped around me when his words sank deep. When I stumbled off him, he just kept laughing, saying I couldn’t change who I was, what I was.
“And I knew he was right. I could feel it, the rage rolling through me, desperate to finish him. To take my hate out on him.” Slowly, those tormented eyes slid to me. “He’d wanted me to attend this military academy for years, but I kept saying no because I wanted to be with you. After that night, I realized I’d only ever cause pain, so I told him I’d go. I dropped off that note in your locker on our way out of town. And I never came back because I knew, I knew if I saw you, I’d risk it all, and that wasn’t fair to you. Even after he murdered my mother?—”
I gasped and covered my mouth. Pushing to sit up, I stared wide-eyed at his tense face. “He murdered your mother and is still out there living in that damn compound outside town?”
Alec nodded. Twirling a damp strand of hair around his finger, he held his focus there. “The official ruling was suicide, but to me, he killed her. She wouldn’t have OD’d on pills if he hadn’t beaten the joy out of her life for years and controlled her every movement. She was trapped. Me and my sister got out, but she was stuck there.”
“How brave of your mom to wait until she knew you two were safe.” I lay back down and snuggled against his side, hoping to offer some comfort even though I couldn’t hold him. “I can’t imagine living in that kind of hell.”
We stayed silent, both of us lost in thought.
“It’s why I wanted to become a Ranger,” he said after a few moments.
“To protect others.” That made sense. If he only knew we both had that same purpose, his way was just legal and mine wasn’t.
“Yes, but to be above the law when needed. To be the one person someone could turn to if there was corruption or dishonesty in their town’s police force. I can’t be everywhere at once, but I offer justice where I can.”
Pride pulsed through me at the gorgeous, honest man beside me. “And here I thought you couldn’t get any sexier.”
He laughed, a bit of that tension leaving his tight face. “Does my badge turn you on, Sunshine?” His gaze flicked to me, those eyes sparkling with heat. The same type of heat that simmered beneath my skin and pooled low in my gut.
“Very much so. But who you are is the best part.”
The front of his mesh shorts shifted, ever so slowly tenting, giving me insight to exactly where his thoughts had wandered.
Same as mine.
“Alec,” I said, licking my lips. “Can I touch you?”
“Touch all you want, just don’t get any ideas of climbing on top.” His breath fanned over the crown of my head.
That was fine. My plans had me on my knees anyway.