Chapter 13
Chapter
Thirteen
SAVANNAH
I ’d never been the type to think, Oh, isn’t that sweet when I saw men with their kids. There was no warm, gushy feeling that washed over me, and having kids wasn’t even at the top of my list. As far as I was concerned, a family would happen when I was ready, and fathers spent too little time with their children.
A man spending time with his family wasn’t something that should be celebrated but expected. Not that I had a great role model after my father died. Heck, my stepfather was spending the rest of his life in prison on countless sexual assault charges.
Yet, here I was, walking hand in hand with a mafia don who was holding his son in his other arm, and my heart was nothing more than sticky goo. My mouth had run dry when Nathan walked into Cutter’s room. The tailor-made suit hugged his muscled body, and his dark tattoos peeked out from the open V at his neck, while the rings he wore accentuated the artwork on his fingers and hands. He was lethal, and yet when Cutter ran to him to show off the fancy new suit—that looked like a miniature version of Nathan’s—I wanted to burst into tears for no apparent reason.
Nathan squatted, smiling, and complimented Cutter, and even though Cutter hadn’t called him dad, I could see the bond slowly building. Now, here we were, walking down a hallway lined with armed guards, and it felt like I’d stepped out of reality and straight into an episode of The Sopranos .
Goran and Ivan walked at our backs, and even though I told Nathan I understood and would only go out with protection, being shadowed like this was going to be hard to get used to.
I realized as we continued into the far wings of the mansion that I hadn’t grasped the sheer size. You could easily get lost, and I was never letting Cutter use the whole house for hide and seek. I’d never find him.
The door to a grand dining hall was already open, and as we walked in, all heads turned in our direction. I’d walked into many rooms filled with powerful men, but nothing could’ve prepared me to see all the Mikhailov heirs sitting together as one.
“Nathaniel, I was beginning to wonder if you were going to show,” Dimitri said, and Nathan’s hand tightened on mine.
“Work ran late. Do you want us to leave?”
There was a frigid tension between the two men, and I hadn’t forgotten Nathan confronting his father for bringing a mistress to his club and holding a gun to the girl’s head. Apparently, four years hadn’t improved their feelings.
“Don’t be foolish,” Dimitri said, standing. He walked around the table with a smile on his face as he stared at Cutter.
Nathan was holding my hand so tightly that I thought he was going to break my fingers. “Breathe,” I whispered under my breath, and his muscles relaxed some.
“So, this is my grandson. I’d almost lost hope that any of my children would give me any before I died,” he said, and Nathan’s jaw twitched. “Hello, and what is your name,” he asked in a baby-talk voice. I bit my lip as Cutter tilted his head and stared at Dimitri.
He stuck out his small hand, and Dimitri looked at it in confusion. “Здравствуйте, меня зовут Каттер,” Cutter said, and my eyes grew wide as everyone looked at one another. Dimitri stood up straight and reached out to take Cutter’s hand.
“Приятно познакомиться с вами, Каттер. Я твой дедушка Димитрий.”
“What did he just say,” I asked Nathan, who was grinning.
“He just said, ‘Hello, my name is Cutter,’ then my father greeted him back and introduced himself.”
“Great, he’s smarter than I am in three languages,” I said, making Nathan laugh.
“I’m still learning,” Cutter said but smiled wide as Helena clapped and gave him a thumbs up. “Do you speak Italian?”
Dimitri laughed. “No, I don’t, but maybe I should learn.”
“I’ll teach you,” Cutter offered.
“Where the hell did you get this kid, Nathaniel? No kid of yours could be that smart,” Ronan said, and I glared at him. I recognized him from FBI surveillance images. He was Nathan’s oldest brother and, from what I’d learned, a real asshole.
“You’re just jealous that a four-year-old is smarter than you are,” Titus said. Ronan scoffed, but I was happy he jumped in before Nathan got riled up.
“Agent Freeborn, we meet again,” Dimitri said, and the happiness that had been surrounding Nathan was gone in a blink.
“Mikhailov,” Nathan growled.
“Yes, of course. That’s what I meant.” He didn’t shake my hand before he turned and walked away. I tugged on Nathan and mouthed that it was okay.
“I’ll introduce you to everyone. You know my mom, Helena. That is Ronan and his girlfriend Renee. You’ve met Titus, and beside him is his fiancé, Vera, and my cousin, Aaron.” I waved at everyone. It was apparent who was fine with me being here and who wasn’t, as four smiled and three scowled at me.
“Nice to meet you,” I said.
“Well, come sit down. We’ve waited long enough to eat,” Dimitri ordered, and I understood what Helena had meant. Everything he said sounded like he was talking down to Nathan or was disgusted with him. I couldn’t imagine him treated like this his entire life.
I sat down beside Helena, who gave me a warm smile and squeezed my hand. Cutter sat between me and Nathan, but he’d pushed the chairs close enough that his arm was draped on the back of mine.
Dimitri signaled, and servers walked in with trays filled with food. There was no way I’d ever been at a more awkward meal. No one spoke except for Cutter, who was busy asking Nathan what everything was and how to say it in Russian as it was placed on his plate. I managed to get two mouthfuls down before Dimitri turned his attention to me again.
“We should talk, Savannah. I would be very interested to know the names and locations of those you worked with,” he said, and I froze as I looked at him.
“You would like me to give up the names and locations of all the FBI agents I know?”
“Only those who are poking around undercover,” he said, taking a bite of the rib-eye steak he was eating.
“No, I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”
If it was possible, the room grew quieter. “Are you refusing me?”
I nodded. “Yes, I am. What you’re asking will endanger countless agents and their families. I won’t do that. Just as I didn’t reveal anything of your family to the FBI, I won’t reveal anything from my job to you.”
“Are you really going to put up with this, Nathaniel? If she is unwilling to help the family, then what value does she bring to the table?”
“Why does everything come down to what you can gain,” Nathan asked, his voice even, but I could feel the rage radiating off him.
“Because information is power, and the families that I’d negotiated unions with all brought political power and money. Other than her looks and ability to birth a child, what does your wife bring?”
Nathan burst from his seat, and his fist slammed down. Cutter jumped and tucked himself into my side as he looked up at Nathan’s angry face. Suddenly, Hailey and Holly poked up from under the table and laid their heads on Cutter’s legs.
“Do not disrespect my wife. If this is how the dinner is going to be, then we will be leaving right now.”
Dimitri took another bite of his steak and waved his hand at Nathan like he was overreacting.
“I was only stating facts, but if you’re so sensitive on the subject, then I will change it.” It was a backhanded slap to Nathan, calling him weak. I grabbed Nathan’s arm to get his attention. He looked down, and I darted my eyes to Cutter, who was staring at him, fear evident on his young face.
I could see the effort it took for him to swallow down the rage, but he sat down, and idle chit-chat started about local news, weather, and celebrity gossip. Nathan’s cousin, Aaron, was next to ask me a question.
“Savannah, what is it like to be an agent? I mean, we’ve grown up on the other side, always skirting and avoiding people like you, but what is it like from your side?”
It was a valid question, and I wasn’t sure how to answer it. I’d spent time assuming the worst of families like the Mikhailovs with good reason, and yet…there was so much more that you were never privy to as an agent. The family dynamics, the love, and the children affected. Emotions had become conflicting the moment I met and fell for Nathan, but now, with Cutter, Helena, and Titus, it was hard to decide what was right and wrong anymore. Luckily, before I could answer, Helena grabbed my hand and glared at Aaron.
“We have had quite enough shop talk this evening already. Can we just enjoy our meal, speak about things that have no meaning, and relax?” Aaron nodded.
I understood by the look in her eyes that she didn’t want the conversation about my job to get going again. I respected her need to keep the peace, at least for a meal.
“Vera, where are you from,” I asked, trying to make conversation. I didn’t really see Vera being Titus’s type from the little time I’d spent with him, but who was I to judge? She ran her fingers through her blonde hair and gave me a cool stare.
“Why do you want to know,” she asked, and the conversations quieted. I glanced around, and all eyes were turning in our direction.
“Just trying to be friendly.”
“Or just trying to pry information from me that you can use to rat me out to the FBI,” she said, and I grabbed Nathan’s hand before he could lose his mind again.
“I wouldn’t do that,” I said.
“Vera has a point,” Ronan added. “We don’t really know where your loyalties lay other than in my brother’s bed.” Nathan sucked in a deep breath, his glare trained on Ronan and as murderous as I’d ever seen.
“Very direct of you, but I think you have your facts wrong, Ronan. I went to Italy to work and keep space between me and this family…for obvious reasons. In all that time, when I could’ve easily spilled details about you all, I didn’t. Maybe you have forgotten, but I also brokered a deal for safe passage once a month to Canada for your shipments. I’m also not the one who chose to bring me here, but since you all seem so concerned…I’m tendering my resignation with the FBI.” I made sure to look both him and Dimitri in the eyes. “Now that that is out of the way, I’d appreciate not being questioned on my loyalty anymore this evening.”
Dimitri smiled and sipped his wine. “That is all fair, but tell me, Savannah, have you been to see your brother yet? I’m curious to know if you’ll have the same outlook once you lay eyes on him.”
“Dimitri,” Helena said, but it was too late. I could feel the shift in the room as Nathan slowly stood.
Dimitri knew what he said was a slap in the face. My half-brother was no better, if not worse, than my stepfather. Instead of rotting in prison, which is where I wanted him to be, he was held captive by the Mikhailovs for what he did to Nathan’s younger sister, Kaylani. I’d never been comfortable with this piece of the deal. My morals screamed that he needed to be punished, but not by being slowly tortured to death. I’d relented, knowing that nothing was going to change Nathan’s mind, and at least he had given me the file he’d gathered on my stepfather so I could have him put away for life.
“You came to my office and said you were holding this dinner to get to know your grandson, but as usual, you lied. This is nothing more than a fishing expedition and a way to throw jabs at my wife and our relationship. I won’t let her fall prey to your twisted games. I warned you what three strikes would get you, and you’ve already crossed one off. I’d be wary, Father. I keep my promises,” Nathan said, and Dimitri’s face turned so red that he looked ready to explode.
“I’m sick of you threatening me,” Dimitri growled.
“That makes two of us. We’re leaving.” The finality in Nathan’s voice left no room for negotiation. He picked Cutter up while Hailey and Holly began to whine.
“I’m so sorry,” Helena whispered as I stood to leave.
“Mark my words, son, one day, this decision will come back to haunt you,” Dimitri said, but it felt more like a threat.
Nathan grabbed my hand and marched us out of the dining hall. His face was all hard lines, and the anger in his eyes was truly terrifying. I didn’t scare easily, but it felt like I was locked in a cage with the hungry polar bear tattooed on his hand.
Goran and Ivan had fallen into step behind us, and no one spoke, not even Cutter, who was usually chatty. I glanced up at our son. Cutter had his arms around Nathan’s neck, but his sad face stared at me.
It was so hard to know how much of that he understood. He was wise beyond his age, but he was still only four. What he certainly knew was that anger and hostility were floating around, and he wasn’t used to that. We’d lived a quiet life filled mostly with laughs and smiles. I wouldn’t leave Nathan because of Dimitri, but I’d be damned if I let that man, and his poisonous ways, touch our son.
Nathan placed Cutter down as we stepped into his room, then turned to look at me. I swallowed hard as his dark eyes searched my face, the power of his stare touching my soul.
“I need to cool off before I can talk, so I’m going to the gym.” He kissed my forehead and left without another word.
“Mommy?”
I kneeled and smoothed out the collar on his suit. “Yeah, Bud?”
“Do we have to live here? I want to go home.”
My heart shattered into a million little pieces.
“I’m sorry, Bud, but this is our home now,” I said, cupping his small cheeks.
“But they don’t like us. I want Marko, and I want my friends,” he said, and my eyes stung with tears that I couldn’t shed.
“I know it feels like that, but your dad loves you. So does Grandma Helena and your Uncle Titus, and don’t forget about Hailey and Holly. They would all be so sad if you weren’t here.”
His head dropped, and he looked at the floor. “He’s not my dad.”
I bit my lip. “Why do you say that?”
He shrugged, his small shoulders lifting and dropping dramatically. “He scares me.”
“I know this is hard for you to understand right now, but your dad was protecting us. He’d never hurt you.” I touched his chin, and he looked up at me. I wanted to wrap him up in my arms and tell him that monsters didn’t exist and shield him from all the terrible things forever. “I know this is all new and confusing, and you’ve been such a champ. I’m so proud of you and how you’ve handled all these big changes. Do you trust me?” He nodded. “Then know that I will never let anyone hurt you, not ever, and even though your dad seems scary, he’s a really good man. All he wants is to keep mean people away from you. Okay?”
“Okay,” he said, but he didn’t sound sure, and it was tearing me in two. “Can I go to bed now?”
“Yeah, Bud, let’s get you changed.”
There was a soft knock at the door, and Titus was leaning against the frame. “The girls were pretty worried about Cutter. Do you mind if they come in?”
“No, of course not.”
Cutter smiled as the two massive dogs bounded in and began licking his face. I mouthed thank you to him and had to wipe the tears from my eyes before Cutter saw.
“Can they stay,” Cutter asked excitedly.
“Sure, if your mom says it’s okay,” Titus said.
“Mommy, please, can they stay, please, please, please,” he begged dramatically and grabbed the front of my dress.
“Fine, but you have to get changed and brush your teeth.”
With a cheer, he raced into the bathroom with the two dogs hot on his heels. I waited until he was gone before meeting Titus as he stepped into the room.
“Thank you for bringing them. It was exactly what he needed right now.”
He chuckled softly. “Don’t thank me. They were whining at me and telling me off.”
I smiled. “Well, either way, thank you. Are you sure it’s okay if they stay the night?”
“They are bonded to him now. Good luck getting them away, and trust me, no one who wants to hurt him will get near him if they are around.” He cleared his throat. “Listen, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for what happened at dinner.”
“Thanks, but you’re one of the few who don’t seem to mind that I’m here.”
Titus had a casual way about everything he did. As he shrugged, there was an ease to him that helped settle my nerves. “My brother is many things, but a threat to the family is not one of them. If he trusts you, then I do.” He poked his head out the door. “Where is Nathaniel?”
“He said he needed to cool off, and he’s gone to the gym. I don’t know where that is.”
“Downstairs in the basement. Do you want me to stay with Cutter until he falls asleep? I’m really good at reading bedtime stories.”
I ran my lip through my teeth as I thought. Cutter came running into the room and raced to show me his teeth. Kids were amazing. The way he could switch off all that worry and be happy in the moment was a skill I’d surely love to learn.
“Cutter, would you be okay if Uncle Titus reads you a story? I have something I need to take care of.”
He nodded, and I kissed his forehead. “I’ll be back to say goodnight, but don’t try to wait up. It’s already past your bedtime.”
“I won’t, Mommy.” He wrapped his arms around me in a brief hug. “I love you,” he said, and then ran for the giant bed, leaping like he was Superman. The dogs hopped up with him and laid down.
“Go, I promise we will be fine,” Titus said.
“Thank you.”
I didn’t know if this was a good idea, but I had to see Nathan.