Chapter 14
Chapter
Fourteen
NATHANIEL
S weat dripped onto the floor as my knuckles bled from the relentless blows to the heavy bag. With a yell, I jumped in the air and brought my fist down so hard that the bag swung out and touched the mirrors.
Son of a bitch. I hated that man. Just when I thought there was no possible way I could hate him any more than I already did, he pushed the bar higher. Why? That was the question. What the fuck did I do to him other than be born? He never put Ronan, Titus, or Kaylani down, and he never questioned them if they offered advice. He never mocked them or ridiculed their choices in business and relationships. He didn’t even like my car. But he wouldn’t come between me, Savannah, and Cutter.
Grabbing the swinging bag, I leaned into it, panting hard. The fear in Cutter’s eyes had brought up too many memories that were clogging my throat and choking me just like a hand squeezing the life out of me.
“ L ook what Dad got me,” Titus yelled as he came running into the house. I looked up from the homework I was doing and jumped up at the sight of the grey puppy in his arms.
“That’s so cool. Can I hold it?”
“Her name is Mandy,” Titus said, handing over the soft puppy that immediately licked my chin.
“Mandy? But that’s a girly name,” I said, and Titus smacked the back of my head.
“Because she’s a girl, you idiot. Do you want me to call her Tony?”
“Whatever. Do you think Dad will let me get one, too?”
“No.” I jumped at the sound of my dad’s angry tone and turned around to face him.
“But Dad, why does Titus get a puppy,” I asked, sulking on the inside that once more I was being left out of all the cool stuff.
“Because you’re useless and would forget to feed it,” he said, walking over to the couch and sitting down.
“No, I wouldn’t, I promise. I’ll do whatever you want. Please, can I get a puppy?”
“I said no!” My lower lip trembled as he bellowed at me, and I hugged Mandy tighter to my chest. “You want to do something, then go back and not be born. Now give your brother back his reward.”
“Dad, that was mean,” Titus said, taking Mandy from my arms.
“Stay out of it, Titus. Your brother never knows when to quit.” I turned to run out of the room, but he yelled my name, and I skidded to a halt. “Take your shit with you, it’s not like studying is going to help you anyway, get it out of here.” Tears stung my eyes as I raced back to the table, gathered my schoolbooks, and ran out of the room. He never wanted me to be born?
Slamming my door closed, I dropped my bag on the floor and walked to the large window, looking down on the grounds crew. I wanted to be free, to run away, to get away from my father forever. Why did he have me if he never wanted me? I wasn’t the one who made me. It’s not like I had a choice.
I whipped around, my heart pounding at the sound of the door opening. Titus poked his head inside. “Can I come in?” I shrugged. He stepped in and closed the door, then set Mandy down on the floor. “I’m sorry.”
Mandy trotted over to me and wagged her tail as she sniffed my feet. Sitting down, the puppy crawled in my lap, and I could feel myself wanting to cry, but I sucked it up. The last thing I needed was Titus telling Dad that I bawled my eyes out like a baby.
“He doesn’t mean it, Nate,” Titus said, sitting down across from me.
“Yeah, he does. He hates me. He’s always hated me, but I don’t care. I’ll get myself a puppy with my money. Screw him. I hate him.”
“That’s not a good idea, Nate,” Titus said, rubbing the head of his new puppy.
“Don’t take his side,” I said, my body filling with anger.
“I’m not. I think he should’ve let you get one, but I don’t think getting one behind his back is a good idea.”
“Whatever, I don’t need your help. Just don’t rat me out. He never comes over to this part of the house. It’ll be fine.”
I knew why this memory haunted me. It was the first time I realized just how much my father detested me. I did get a puppy. I’d saved up my allowance and gone down to the shelter, where I found Jasper and snuck him home to my room. I’d kept him hidden while caring for him and didn’t tell anyone. When the house was quiet, I would take him out to play for hours in the backyard, but all of that came to a stop six months later when I was at school, and Jasper started barking at something.
“ N o, Dad. Please don’t take him,” I begged as I fought the guard who had a hold of me. “He’s mine. I bought him myself, and you didn’t even know he was here because I’ve been doing such a good job taking care of him. I wanted to prove that I could do it.”
“I don’t care where you got the money or what you wanted to do. I told you that you couldn’t have a dog, and you disobeyed a direct order,” my father said, picking Jasper up by the scruff of his neck.
“Stop it. You’re hurting him. He’s mine. Give him back,” I yelled and was blinded with tears as the back of his hand struck me. I bit my tongue and tasted blood.
“You watch your mouth. You don’t speak to me like that,” Father said, pointing a finger at me.
I blinked through the tears, my hands balling into fists as anger, instead of fear, filled me. “Why not? That’s the way you talk to me,” I snarled, and my head snapped to the side as his hand connected again.
“That the hell is going on in here,” Mom said as she rushed into the room. “Dimitri, what the hell are you doing?” She put herself between me and Dad. “Don’t you dare hit him.”
“He’s exactly like you. The boy doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut and does whatever he wants. Look what he brought into the house?”
“It’s a puppy, Dimitri, not a bomb. Give it back to Nate.”
“No, he needs to learn to listen and obey. Mario, take this thing to the pound where it belongs,” Dad said, and I fought the guard holding me.
“No, no, don’t take my puppy. He’s mine,” I screamed, but my dad walked out of the room with the guards, and Mom held me back as I cried.
“I’m so sorry he’s like this. I’m so sorry,” she said, holding me tight.
W hat I couldn’t figure out was why I’d wasted so much time trying to earn his approval or why it even mattered. I couldn’t remember a birthday he attended, but he always made time for the rest of my siblings. Why did my mother bother to write Love, Mom and Dad when it was only ever her? He missed my graduation from Wayward Academy because he was in Tahiti with his secretary. I knew what he was working on, and it had nothing to do with the businesses.
“Are you okay?”
Savannah’s concerned voice washed over me like a warm bath, and I looked over my shoulder at her standing just inside the gym. I couldn’t have said when she arrived. Marching over to her, I cupped her face and assaulted her mouth with a harsh kiss. Pushing her up against the wall, I was relentless, wanting nothing more than to lose myself in the feel of her.
Grabbing a handful of her dress, I pulled it up. She pulled back from the kiss and gripped my forearms, stopping them from going any further.
“I know you’re hurting, but you can’t fuck all the pain away. Talk to me.”
“I don’t talk about my feelings,” I growled but let go of her dress.
“Well, I think it’s time you learned. You have a son upstairs who needs you to be different from your father.” I sucked in a ragged breath and closed my eyes. Savannah placed her hand over my heart. “Now tell me, are you okay?”
Pushing away from the wall, I wandered over to the bench and sat down. “Yeah, I just…fuck, I just.” I couldn’t find the right words for the fucked-up shit swirling around in my head. “He’s such a fucking prick. I have come so close to killing him so many times, and I don’t know how I’ve stopped myself.”
Savannah walked over and sat down beside me. I watched her as she picked up my hands and stared at my split knuckles before her eyes found mine. “He doesn’t deserve you as his son, or this blood spilled because of him.”
“I know. I’m a fucking adult. You’d think I could ignore his constant jabbing and disapproving remarks.” I brought her hand to my lips and kissed her knuckles. “I’m sorry he treated you like that.”
“Don’t be. This way, I know exactly where I stand. I’d rather that than have him be nice to my face but stab me in the back. Now I know to look over my shoulder.”
I snorted and then smirked. “That is very introspective of you.”
“I know,” she said, her eyes shining. “Has it always been like this between you two, or has it gotten worse?”
“Always the same. He says I’m like my mother as if that’s an insult. He’s called me everything: weak, pathetic, and an idiot. He even said he wished I was never born.”
“Oh my god,” Savannah gasped. “I can’t even imagine.”
“He’s not going to stop. I’ve told him I’ll kill him if he tries to hurt you or come between Cutter and me, but I don’t trust him.”
“Do you want to move? I don’t care if we stay here,” she said, and I rested my head back against the wall.
“I need to speak to Cesare first and get this hit canceled. The man is fucking stupid when it comes to all things Russian. He always thinks we’re out to get him and pops up to annoy us like a bad rash on the ass every couple of years. I’d love to kill the fucker, but he has a seat on the council. How? I don’t know.”
“Okay, so I can explain to him that I didn’t know who he was and….”
“No way, I’m not letting you anywhere near that bag of crazy. I’ll take care of it as soon as the fucker returns my calls. I may have to pay him a visit to get this sorted. In the meantime, we’ll stay here. But as soon as the threat is lifted, we will move out. Hell, I may even move states.”
“But all your businesses are here, and your family. Are you sure you want to do that?”
Wrapping my arm around Savannah, I kissed the top of her head. “We’ll see. I just know that if I stay here, then one day, his blood will be on my hands.”
She was quiet for a long time. We sat there staring at the empty workout equipment, our thoughts and ghosts waltzing together.
“I need to ask you something,” she said, and I knew what was coming. “Is Alex really still alive?”
“Yes,” I said. He’d been imprisoned and tortured every day since I brought him to my cells.
“Can I see him?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said, and she sighed.
“Nathan, I’ve never been able to let the death of my sister go.”
“And nothing good will come of you asking him why he did what he did. It won’t change the fact that he assaulted her and then killed her.”
Savannah looked at me, our eyes locking, and I could see the strength in her stare. “I know that, but I need the closure. I want to look him in the eyes and tell him that it was me who decided to let him rot in your cells. I’m not looking to save him or change your mind. I don’t care what you’ve done to him. Not anymore.”
“You’re sure about this?” She nodded, and even though it was against my better judgment, I nodded. “Fine, I’ll make the arrangements, but Savannah, you cannot ever ask me to let him go. I won’t do it, and I won’t fight with you about it. He is mine until I choose to end his life, which could be tomorrow, next year, or ten years from now. Understand?”
Savannah stood and held her hand out to me. “Yes, I understand. Now, let’s get you cleaned up, and if Cutter is still awake, you can say goodnight.”
Taking her hand, I stood and pulled her into my arms before she could walk away. “I scared him, didn’t I?” She looked away, and that was all the answer I needed. “Fuck, I am turning into my father.”
Savannah shocked me to my core as she snatched my jaw and squeezed hard, forcing me to face her furious stare.
“Don’t ever say that again. You’re nothing like that man, and you never will be, do you hear me? From this moment on, you’re no longer his son, he doesn’t deserve you, and I will kill him before he ever turns you into the cold-hearted piece of shit that he is. I let my fear of what he would do make a decision that affected us and Cutter. I’ll never let him do that to me again, and neither will you. Yes?” She nodded her head, and I smirked. Grabbing her wrist, I freed my chin before dropping my mouth to hers.
“I fucking love it when you’re like this, it’s so hot.” I sucked her bottom lip into my mouth. “Mmmm, I want to lay you out on the mats and fuck you right here.”
“Cutter first, shower second. But I’ll join you in the shower,” she said as her hand slid down over my thickening cock.
“You keep doing that, and we’re not making it upstairs, let alone the shower.” She laughed and removed her hand. “Who’s with Cutter?”
“Titus.” I stiffened. “Relax, he brought Hailey and Holly to spend the night with Cutter. I think he might have been looking for you, but he offered to read to Cutter while I came to find you.”
Nodding, I grabbed my shirt and jacket before taking Savannah’s hand and walking out the door. “Just so you know, it’s not that I don’t trust Titus with Cutter. It’s just….”
“You don’t want him to accidentally come between you and Cutter when you’re just getting to know one another. I understand. But I have to tell you, I think it’s Hailey and Holly that you’ll have to compete with for Cutter’s heart, not Titus,” she said, making me smile.
I pulled her to a halt. Savannah looked at me and then around in confusion. “You’re beautiful,” was what I said, but in my heart, it was so much more. I knew that not just anyone would be taking everything that had happened so well. Despite everything and the challenges that still lay between us, I’d never felt more in step with anyone in my life.
“I love you, too,” she whispered, and another wound marring my heart healed. With each word and soft touch, she was slowly putting me back together.