Natalie #2
“ Oh, look at you, you precious little thing. You are mine tonight, doll. Your Pa has lent you to me for the night.” At only ten I had no idea what was happening.
The man talking to me was my ‘uncle’, or that’s what Ma and Pa told us to call him.
Him and many other men who would come round to our house.
But this night we went to his house. “I believe your Pa has shown you how men show their little dolls how to love them right?” I nod, because Pa did show us how men show their love.
“Good, now stay quiet and be a good little thing.” I close my eyes, waiting to be forced to the floor like always.
Only it doesn’t come. “I need you to show my lad how it’s done.
Teach him how to stay still won’t you.” Opening my eyes, I look around to where he points.
A young boy around the age of twelve or thirteen stands there, his dark brown eyes meet mine.
They show no emotion, he’s numb just like me.
Just two messed up kids with abusive fathers.
“Come here you little shit.” Uncle tells the boy, who shuffles over with his head down.
“This little doll is going to teach you all her little tricks. Including how to suck a dick. Isn’t that right Pa. ”
Pa comes up beside me, his cock already hard in his hand and I am thrown onto my knees in front of him while the young boy gets in front of Uncle. He winces a little as he lands on the back of his heels.
“That’s right angel. Now get teaching.” Pa chuckles darkly, his voice husky as he grabs my hair and moves my face closer to his crotch.
The rest of the night is a blur of multiple assaults against me and the young boy.
Yet none of us cried, none of us complained.
Just held each other quietly when the two others slept.
Snuggled up on the floor in the corner of the cold room, a ripped blanket thrown over us both to try and keep us warm.
None of us say a word, both taught to be quiet and not make a sound.
He strokes my hair as I lay my head on his shoulder.
Both using each others body heat as extra warmth.
I never saw that kid again.
And I never found out his name.
“I need you to leave.” I climb off Julian, I can barely keep my breathing even. “I am not a thing you can keep. I am not something that can be damaged.” I point to my bedroom door and keep my face down. I can’t look at him. My breathing becomes heavier the longer he just sits there .
Why isn’t he moving?
“Leave, Julian. I mean it.” Please, just leave.
“Treasure.”
“NO.” I start to shake. “No, I am not your treasure. I am a person, a human being who just wanted to spend some time with you. You told me your name, but still can’t take off the fucking mask.
” I’m angry and taking it out on the wrong person.
I know that. But fuck, it feels good letting it out.
“It’s been three years, and I know nothing about you.
Yet you know everything about me. It’s not fair.
” Tears start stinging my eyes. “I thought we were friends. Or in some sort of fucked up relationship.” He still doesn’t move.
“But now, now we are nothing.” I wipe at my face, finally looking up at him staring straight at me.
“Get the fuck out of my apartment Julian. And never come back. I never want to see you again.” My heart breaks just saying the words, it’s a lie.
Of course it is. Julian has been a three year commitment and in my head, we were together.
Fucked up right, well yeah . I’m a fucked up person who cares.
I thought I was in a relationship with my stalker, my protector in the shadows.
He basically sleeps here every night, he does the chores, cooks, and brings me gifts.
Even leaves me love notes. But no, we’re not anything.
He is just obsessed with me, he just said so himself.
The amount of times I have tried to throw myself at him and he’s turned me away should have been a massive fucking clue that he isn’t interested.
So why does he stick around? And why does this feel like I’m breaking up with him?
Yeah I can feel you judging me. But you don’t know everything I’ve been through. Not yet anyway .
“Is that what you really want?” Julian questions, the tone of his voice quiet and defeated.
“Because just last night while I held you, you said you wanted to get to know the real me. We just had our first kiss. And now you don’t ever want to see me again?
So what one is it Natalie?” He stands and picks up his gloves from the floor.
“I’ll leave for now. But remember your promise.
If he tries to touch you or sends everyone else away, call me.
” I look back down at the floor while I listen to him put on his shoes and jacket, then a pen scribbling against paper, and finally the front door opens and closes.
A few minutes pass in agonising silence.
Why did I do that? Why did I just push away the only person who has ever cared about me?
Fuck.
Three hours pass and I’m sitting on my couch, the note still unopened in my hand. Why can’t I open it?
I should open it right?
I stare at it some more, willing the damn thing to give me some kind of hint on what he has written inside.
He didn’t take long to write it, so it’s definitely not one of his stories.
I sigh deeply. Why did I snap at him like that?
He’s been telling me a lot about himself.
But nothing recent, all of his stories have been from when he was a child or teenager.
From his mom teaching him how to cook, to his father sending him to a boarding school in England from the age of eleven until he left at eighteen.
I guessed he was part British from his accent, which he then told me his mother was originally from London.
That she met his father when she came over on vacation during her summer break in university.
Those things are great to know, but what about his full name, how old he is, what he does for work? The general information most people tell others when they first meet.
Flipping the paper around in my hand a few more times, I unfold it.
I’m sorry. Text me to let me know your decision.
I throw the note back on the table. I can’t think about what to do with Julian right now.
Not when I have to concentrate on surviving work today.
I tap the pepper spray in my pocket. I should have used it last night but he was too fast, pinning me before I got the chance to. I’ll be ready this time. I have to be.
Picking up my bag, I start the twenty minute walk to the bank.
“Looking extra freaky today, Quasi.” Katherine laughs as soon as I enter the building.
She is already set up at her desk, her platinum blonde hair in a perfect ballerina bun atop of her head.
Her heavy makeup covers up all her blemishes and makes her look a little plastic.
Not that I think that of everyone who wears makeup, just Katherine who cakes it on while trying to impress our boss.
She always flirts and shoves her silicone cleavage in his face whenever he comes out of his office.
“Must be your red eyes that go with your red scar. Has poor baby Natalie been crying ?”
I ignore her like always and set up my desk.
I can’t let her words get to me today, not today.
I have to keep my mind strong if I have to deal with Howard again later.
Which also means I can’t think about Julian.
I made a mistake kicking him out like I did.
He did nothing wrong but call me his. I want to be his, and have so for years. He just said it the wrong way.
The workday goes by quickly, and soon it is time to close.
My phone has been vibrating like crazy in my bag most of the day.
I’m not 100% sure on who it is but I have a feeling.
I haven’t told him my decision yet. I mean, what can I tell him?
I want him in my life, but in a different way than he wants to be.
It’s not fair on either of us. Not when we both want something completely different.
I want a relationship, he wants a possession.
I have to put a stop to whatever fucked up situation we are in.
My phone vibrates again, this time it lasts longer, letting me know it’s a phone call rather than a text. Pulling my phone from my bag, Julian's nickname flashes on the screen.
“Miss Baker.” Howard calls through the intercom. “Come here please.” I look around the office. Katherine is just leaving, the smirk she gives me sends chills down my spine. “Now Miss Baker.” I stare down at the phone in my hand, it’s no longer ringing.
“I think the boss wants you, freak.” Xander laughs.
He is young and his dark hair flops down over his eyes after he shakes out the gel holding it back making him look even younger.
His tie now hangs loose from his neck, his top button open.
If Howard were to catch him like this before closing then he would have gotten into a lot of trouble, but since we are closed as of five minutes ago, he has relaxed a little.
“Now be a good little girl and obey.” He continues typing up his emails that he has due.
Xander always leaves them to the last minute, he sucks up to Howard, same as Katherine.
Always obeying, always brown nosing up to our boss.
That’s probably why they get the nice side of him.
However , Howard has had a problem with me since I’ve returned to work after my accident.
He used to be nice, but now I don’t look flawless, I don’t fit into his world.
My phone buzzes with another text. He said to message if Howard sent all the employees home, and although he can be a bit of a dick sometimes, I’m sure Xander will help if I scream.
“MISS BAKER!” Howards voice echoes around the almost empty room.