31. Travis
thirty-one
Travis
I was comfortable lying on the sofa. It was starting to cool down some, and the fan overhead was just right. I was floaty, too, the pain pills starting to kick in. The docs had put two plates and a few screws in my arm to secure both bones in my forearm, and it fucking hurt.
My head was on Carina’s lap, my face pressed against her belly, and I had my arm propped up on a pillow. She was reading the draft of Cara’s novel—I hadn’t even realized she was an author—and I was drifting, slowly falling asleep.
I still couldn’t believe the accident. We’d responded to another warehouse fire on the same block as one we’d attended only a month or two ago. It was a freak accident. One minute I was standing on a mezzanine, hosing down flames on the ground level, and the next I was on my side a floor below. The whole platform had given out. My arm landed on a metal bar, and a piece of the support beam landed on my hand, snapping my bone straight through. Apart from being winded—and my bone sticking out of my arm—I’d been fine. Lucky, incredibly grateful to be here, and annoyed that I couldn’t help put out the fire anymore.
Then I realized I had no way of contacting Jacques, Rusty, and Carina. I’d begged the captain to get Chief Cabello to call them. He had, but I’d forgotten I’d put Rusty down as my emergency contact. With the stress of the last few days, just hearing that I’d been in an accident had sent Rusty into a full-blown panic attack. I hated that I was responsible for it.
He was doing okay now—still clingy, but I think that was more about the shock of what had happened rather than his panic attack. He was still in a good mood, though. Every opportunity he had, he teased me about joining Whiskey Riders as their new drummer. I’d had no idea what he or the others were talking about until they explained that in my anesthetic-induced haze, I’d decided to become a drummer.
I hadn’t even remembered the conversation with Carina about her being pregnant until the nurse woke me, wanting to check my vitals.
“This is a hospital for goodness’ sake,” she muttered, and I blinked open my eyes.
She was hovering with a stethoscope around her neck and my chart in her hand. She raised her brow at me, unimpressed, then flicked her gaze to Carina. “Not a hotel.”
I tightened my grip around her shoulders. She was in my arms, and I wasn’t letting her go. Not after the shitstorm that had descended on us in the past few days.
“Shh, please,” Jacques responded. “Let her sleep.”
“I need to check my patient’s vitals, including his blood pressure. How am I supposed to do that when his uninjured arm is being used as a pillow?”
“She’s only just fallen asleep,” Jacques explained. “She’s had a rough few days, and she needs sleep.”
“Your friend here has just had an operation,” she quipped back.
“She’s pregnant, okay? I’m worried about how hard Travis’s accident hit her.”
Pregnant? Seriously? I opened my mouth, but the only thing that came out was a squeak.
The nurse sighed. “I can give you thirty minutes. I’ll come back after I’ve finished the rest of my rounds.”
“Thank you,” he replied and eased himself out of the armchair he’d crammed himself into. Jacques stretched, his vertebrae cracking as he did. Then he stepped closer and ran his fingers through Carina’s hair.
“How are you?” he asked. “Any pain?”
“Carina’s pregnant?” I countered. My eyes were wide, and my heart was beating out of my chest. It was a good thing the nurse hadn’t checked my vitals after getting that kind of news.
“Yeah. You don’t remember her telling us?”
His smile split his lips. I imagined it looked much like my own. Jacques ’ eyes lit up even in the semidarkness of the room, and I wished I weren’t stuck in this damn sling. I wanted to hug him so fucking tight.
“No.” I shook my head. “That’s amazing.” My smile slipped. “Wait, is it amazing? Like, is she staying now?”
“It is, and she is.” He sighed and his own smile slipped. “She was leaving because she didn’t want to ask us for money, and she can’t work here in the States on her visa. She didn’t want to cause any trouble for me if we went through with the divorce and she was pregnant. She was going to go home and raise the baby.”
“Those fucking divorce papers,” I muttered.
“I’ve already rung Michael and instructed him to destroy them.”
“How did he take it?”
Jacques shrugged. “Eh. You know how he is. Not well, but honestly, I need to do what’s best for us, and divorce isn’t good for anyone.”
“Good. I didn’t want her to leave.”
“Do you remember her saying ‘I love you’?”
My gut sank, and I shook my head. “No,” I whispered, wishing that I hadn’t been so loopy under the anesthetic.
“Well, I do love you, drummer boy,” Carina mumbled.
Jacques leaned down and kissed her temple, and she snuggled into me more. I tightened my arm around her shoulder and pressed my lips to the top of her head.
“Love you too, darlin’,” I whispered.
I was still thinking about it days later. I couldn’t believe that I was going to be a father. It scared the hell out of me. I was terrified of becoming my parents, but I knew Jacques, Rusty, and Carina wouldn’t let that happen.
Smiling, I pressed a lazy kiss to Carina’s belly and mumbled, “Peanut, I’ll be a good daddy, I promise. I’ll teach you how to ride a pony. Papa will teach you how to skate, and Dad will show you how to make lots of things. Mommy will be the best around.”
Carina ran her fingers over my jaw and said, “I’ll teach Peanut the violin.”
I hummed. I could just imagine the two of them playing concerts for us. I’d never been more content. I loved Jacques and Rusty with my whole heart. I loved our life together. When Carina had come along, I’d fallen for her in a hot minute. She was everything I’d never known I’d wanted. But now… now I understood what true happiness was.
Carina gasped and gripped my shoulder. My heart pounded in my chest, and I was suddenly very awake. I struggled to sit up, but Carina choked out a half laugh half cry and whispered, “Oh my God, I can feel the baby. I just felt a flutter.”
“Really? Where?” I sat the rest of the way up and held out my hand.
She placed it on her belly and looked at me. I’d never seen her smile so beautifully before. Her eyes were glassy, and her hair was tied up in a messy bun atop her head. My T-shirt—an old Escondido Fire Department shirt—stretched tight across her boobs and belly, and the loose cotton shorts she wore were a faded grey. If I hadn’t already fallen in love with her, I would have right there.
“Linc,” she called. “I felt the baby.”
“No way!” He came running over and rested another hand on her belly. His gaze was filled with awe. “I can’t wait for the doctor’s appointment.” He looked at his watch. “Speaking of, we should probably head off soon.”
“Oh, shit, it’s that time already? I need to get changed,” she said, putting down the e-reader she was holding.
“I’ll get Jacques,” I offered.
He was in the gym doing a light workout. We were attending the team’s friendly pre-training camp practice match tonight. It was a chance for the coaches to check out what work they needed to do to bring the team up to scratch during the preseason and for the team to catch up and have some fun family time before the next few grueling weeks. Once Monday rolled around and the team began their training camp, Jacques would be focused on giving the team the best opportunity to get the cup that shall not be named.
We never spoke about it, and we certainly never named it. Hockey players were weirdly superstitious. We weren’t allowed to jinx them.
I wandered down the long stairs to the ice rink and the weight room next door to it, then leaned against the doorway, watching as Jacques stretched. He was almost in a full split, his arms stretched out in front of him and his chest on the purple yoga mat I’d given him. I licked my lips. Damn, he was fine.
But I couldn’t get distracted. We had an appointment to get to—one I wouldn’t miss for the world.
“Hey,” I called out. “We’re getting ready to go to the doctor.”
“I’m done.”
He stood up and took a swig from his water bottle, then stalked toward me. When he got close enough, he swung his arm around my waist, pulled me in for a kiss that left me breathless, and then led me back to the stairs like nothing had happened.
My head was spinning and my dick aching the whole way up. Any other day, and I would have begged him to drop to his knees.
I swallowed and groaned. “Y’all’s a fuckin’ tease.”
***
“Good afternoon. I’m Penny,” the OBGYN said when we entered her office.
We introduced ourselves, and she prompted, “So, tell me what’s happening.”
To her credit, she didn’t blink when the four of us walked in. She was more worried about having enough chairs. Carina took one of them, and, apparently, because my arm was in a sling, I wasn’t allowed to stand either. I couldn’t roll my eyes any harder at my guys sometimes, but they really were sweet, and I loved them for it.
“Well, I took a pregnancy test, and it’s come back positive. With the benefit of hindsight, I’ve been noticing symptoms for a few months, and my clothes are getting tighter around my belly, so I’m definitely showing.”
“When was your last period?” she asked, jotting down notes.
Carina adjusted her white blouse and looked down. “I think it was when I’d just arrived in the States. These past few months have been a little hectic. But it’s been at least three months.”
Penny nodded and asked, “When did you come off birth control?”
Carina laughed awkwardly and smoothed her hands down her legs. She was wearing the cutest pair of floral pants that were all flowy and shit. “When the pregnancy test came back positive.” She rushed to add, “I was on the mini pill, and I didn’t realize I’d missed it a few times—once when I flew to the States and then the night we got married. But it’s a happy accident. We’re incredibly excited.”
“That’s great,” Penny exclaimed with a smile. “Don’t stress about the mini pill. It isn’t known to cause any birth defects or anything like that, and we can start you on a pregnancy supplement to help the baby’s brain and nervous system development.”
“I’m already on one.”
Penny asked lots of questions about Carina’s health, her pregnancy with Cara, and Cara’s birth. She outlined what the usual steps were moving forward and discussed the options around birth. Finally— finally! —she said, “Let’s get you up and check the baby.”
She squirted some gel on Carina’s belly and moved the wand around. Within seconds we were listening to the whoosh, whoosh, whoosh of a heartbeat. Tears sprang to Carina’s eyes, and Jacques grasped her hand.
“Mom, Dad—” Penny looked at Jacques and Carina. “Meet your baby.”
I held my breath, listening with wide-eyed wonder. That was our baby. I couldn’t believe it. We were going to be dads. With shaking hands, I slipped my good arm around Rusty’s waist and leaned into him, needing to be closer to him. I’d never experienced love at first sight, but now I knew. This was it. I would love this baby with everything in me.
I blinked, trying to stop the sting, and sucked in a slow breath. Rusty wrapped his arms around me, and I buried my face in the crook of his neck. “How could they have hated me?” I whispered, not even consciously realizing I needed to voice the question. “I already love this baby with my whole heart.”
He held me tighter but didn’t fill the void with platitudes. Somehow, he knew I didn’t need the answer to my question. Even if I did need one, he would never be able to fathom their hatred. He didn’t have an unkind bone in his body. My parents, on the other hand….
Carina gasped, and I snapped my face up. Her eyes were wide, and a smile instantly split her face. “I can feel a flutter,” she said excitedly.
Penny grinned and shifted the wand. I saw movement on the screen.
Holy shit. Holy shit. I couldn’t tear my eyes away. That was our baby.
“From my measurements, I’d say you’re about sixteen weeks. But let’s get a full set of scans done so we can be more certain.”
“When will we be able to feel Peanut kick?” I asked.
“Anytime between twenty and thirty weeks gestation. It’s a wide range and depends entirely on the pregnancy.” Penny then spoke to us about Carina feeling movement regularly and it not being a cause for concern if we didn’t feel anything for weeks to come.
I didn’t want to stop the ultrasound, but Penny wiped Carina’s belly, and then Jacques helped her off the examination chair. It was the most incredible thing I’d ever experienced. I was overwhelmed and filled with a joyous wonder that I couldn’t explain. I wanted to jump up and down and celebrate. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. I wanted to kiss all of them and dance until we were too tired to stand.
We were going to be parents.
We were going to have a baby.
I couldn’t fucking wait.
***
Two hours later, we were sitting with our knees practically touching the boards in the front row of the Seal’s training rink. It was an all-out skirmish, the friendly game igniting the team’s competitive spirit. It was black vests against purples, with Jacques captaining the purple team and Rune, the alternate captain, leading the blacks.
Jacques lost the puck drop, but Hewitt sliced in front, snatching the puck from Wilson as he passed. Hewitt flicked a wrister in Jacques’s direction, and I was on my feet, whistling. Carina and Rusty were on either side of me, both of them on their feet and screaming Jacques’s name. Rusty, Cara, and Roe were right there with us, screaming just as loudly. The small crowd of family and friends were as rowdy during a friendly skirmish as on any game night.
If hockey players were competitive, their families were loud.
The puck found the center of Jacques’s stick, and he effortlessly slung it to Hux in a move I’d seen them practicing until they could do it blindfolded. They instinctively knew where the other was on the ice even with the addition of the other players.
Hux barreled through the gap formed by the new first line D-men—a rookie mistake on their part. The lines had been shaken up after Minns announced he was going on the player assistance program and Mironov was demoted to the third line for his antics with Hux. He’d likely be back on the first line before the beginning of the season, but it must have stung knowing how badly he’d pissed off Coach.
Just like they’d practiced, Hux slapped it back to Jacques. They were moving so fast, the puck was a blur. But Jacques was faster. He shot it lightning quick at the net.
Rune’s reflexes were on point. He clearly hadn’t slouched during the off-season either. He dropped into the splits, stretched his arm out, and slapped the puck away. No lamplighter.
“You’ve got this, Jacques, baby,” Carina yelled.
Jacques shot her a grin as he dug hard into the tight turn behind goal and shot out the other side, chasing after the puck.
Jacques moved at warp speed, catching up, then shouldering past Wilson to steal the puck again. Wilson was sluggish and definitely not playing his finest game. He was in for a world of pain before the season starter.
Jacques passed to Hewitt.
Cohen intercepted.
With a few pumps of his legs, Cohen was in our defensive zone. I should have been watching the puck, but I couldn’t take my eyes off Jacques. He was on fire.
The D-men on Jacques’s team worked their magic, squeezing Cohen and forcing a pass. Hux was there in the only open spot and scooped it up. Cara whooped and Monroe whistled and cheered for him. We did the same.
Hux shot it straight to Hewitt, and he screamed up the ice in a breakaway. Stick to puck, he flew along. He passed it to Jacques.
Jacques flew toward the goal, drawing Rune forward.
I held my breath. There was a sliver of unprotected space on the net.
Jacques slung the puck to Hux.
Hux took the shot. It sailed straight for the net.
Rune reacted.
Like it was in slow motion, I watched as he reached out.
His stick connected with the puck.
But it wasn’t enough.
It hit the net, and the buzzer sounded.
We screamed, cheering and shouting our encouragement.
The rest of the skirmish was just as exciting. Our team managed a shutout, a hell of a feat given Rune, the team’s number one goalie, let two in. Everyone had off nights, but I bet he was kicking himself while we were riding a high.
***
I pulled Jacques’s SUV into the drive at Coach’s house, a sprawling estate high in the hills overlooking downtown. Cars were parked all along the sweeping driveway, and we could hear kids’ squeals and smell the smoker going out back. Coach was a master Texan barbecuer. He had a secret family recipe for a dry rub that was to die for. He wouldn’t share it, either, no matter how much I begged.
It was another tradition that the team had started in its first year—a get-together for the whole family after the first skirmish before the preseason training camp. It was a send-off to the summer, a cue for our excitement to ramp up for the fall.
Hockey season was almost upon us.
It was chaos when we walked around the back. Kids were running around. Some of the boys were in the pool with them, while a few others refereed a tiny tots football game. People were gathered around the coolers of beer and sodas, and others hovered near Coach, trying to get a glimpse in the smoker. Most of the wives and girlfriends were gathered around the outdoor sofas and trestle tables, enjoying a drink.
They were a great group of people, but I’d always felt like I was on the outside. Carina felt the same. Rusty and I were the roommates—no one even understood why we attended these things with Jacques—but Carina should have been accepted into the fold straight away. She wasn’t worried, though. Carina had a friend in Kamirah, and now that Cara was in the States, she was enjoying spending time with her too.
“Mum,” Cara called out and waved.
Cara and Monroe were sitting at the end of one of the trestle tables close to the railing. Tiki torches lit the full length of the glass balustrade. Beyond that was the most spectacular view of the city and the Pacific Ocean stretching to the horizon. The sun was setting, the last of its rays casting a pink-and-orange glow over the water.
We sat down after hugs all round, and Hux was there a moment later, carrying a tray of beers and two wines. He placed the wine down in front of Carina and said, “Hope you like wine, Mom.”
Carina grinned, her smile mischievous. “Thanks, son. But I’m going dry for a while.” She slid the glass to Cara, who happily accepted it. “Like, maybe, five more months.” Carina ran a hand down her belly, and Cara froze, her glass halfway to her mouth.
“Wh—” Cara stuttered and gently placed her glass down. “Are you?”
Carina nodded and beamed, her smile like the sun. “About sixteen weeks.”
“Oh my goodness gracious!” Cara whisper-squealed. “This is the best news ever.”
She jumped up and practically threw herself into Carina’s lap, hugging her hard. It took a second for Carina’s words to sink in, but then Hux and Monroe were on their feet and congratulating Jacques too.
When Hux moved onto Rusty and me, he nodded and murmured quietly. “Happy for you guys. Congratulations.”
“Thanks, man,” Rusty whispered with a grin.
It matched mine. Every time I heard the word baby, butterflies took flight in my belly and excitement pulsed through me.
Cara pulled back and narrowed her eyes at her mom. “That’s why you were leaving, wasn’t it?”
Carina nodded, and Cara hugged her hard again. She dropped to a knee in front of Carina and held her hands. “Mum, Jacques isn’t Dad,” she assured her.
I was so grateful that Cara believed in Jacques. Her support meant the world.
“He won’t leave you to raise the baby while he works nonstop.” She looked in Jacques’s direction and narrowed her eyes in a you’d-better-prove-me-right kind of way, then went back to speaking to her mom, adding, “You may have been the one to raise me, but you’re not alone this time. Jacques is here, and so am I.”
“So are we,” I added and wrapped my arm around Carina’s shoulders and gave her a small squeeze before dropping my arm again.
“Thank you,” Carina said. “I panicked for a bit there. But we talked—who would have thought that was important?—and I realized what a huge mistake I was making. I never wanted to leave. I just thought I had to.”
“Can I announce it?” Hux asked.
Carina looked between the three of us, and I shrugged and grinned. Rusty’s move mirrored my own, and Jacques laughed, then gestured for Hux to take the floor. “Sure, go for it,” he agreed.
Hux whistled, and the whole yard quieted. “Can I have everyone’s attention please?” he shouted. “We have an announcement to make. We’re gonna have another team baby.”
Cheers erupted, and I bit back a laugh. How long would it take for him to realize his faux pas?
I looked up and saw Kamirah walking around the house. Minns was behind her, frozen to the spot. He looked like he’d seen a ghost.
Hux’s and Jacques’s teammates sitting at the next table over stood up and made their way over to us. When they reached for Hux’s hand to shake, he belly-laughed and pointed between Carina and Jacques.
Another person reached for him, and he held his hands up in a stopping motion and shouted, “Not us, not us. Gauthier’s gonna be a daddy!”
I flicked my gaze up again, and I watched as Minns exhaled slowly, his shoulders slumping and his head falling forward. Kamirah rubbed his back, and they walked over. Minns stayed back, hovering near where Rusty had gone to stand. But Kamirah slipped between people congratulating Jacques and went straight to Carina. The moment Carina saw her, she hugged her tight.
Hux looked between them, and his smile slipped. He glanced around, and his eyes locked on Minns. With a chin dip, he acknowledged Minns, then turned to Monroe. Monroe wrapped him in his arms, and a moment later Hux chuckled, his grin firmly back in pace.
“Thank you. For everything,” Carina said.
“No, thank you.” Kamirah tilted her head toward Minns and said, “I took your advice. We talked, and it was good. We leave for Fiji in a week.”
Carina beamed. “I’m so happy for you.” She turned to Cara and took her daughter’s hand, holding it tight. “Cara, this is Kamirah.”
Cara lifted her chin and squared her shoulders. She was as sweet as a kitten but as fiery as a lioness when it came to protecting her man. “Hello,” she said carefully.
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness,” Kamirah started but then hesitated. She looked around, as did I, and there were quite a few eyes on her. She seemed to rethink what she was going to say. “I’m glad that Hux found someone who makes him happy.”
“We do.”
“Do you, ah….” She huffed out a breath and licked her lips. “Do you think maybe I could plan a baby shower for your mom? Or help you organize one?”
“I’d like that,” Carina said trying to extend the olive branch. “Cara, I could give you Kamirah’s number, and maybe you two could talk. Sometime. Perhaps.”
Cara eyed her mom, her lips pursed and brows furrowed. She clearly didn’t understand why her mom was trying to get them to communicate. Neither did I.
“Sure.” She shook her head and glanced at Kamirah. “But if Alec gives me any hint that he’s unhappy, you’re out. I’ll organize it myself.”
“I understand.”
“Three cheers for Mom and Dad,” Hux yelled, oblivious to the tension between Cara and Kamirah. Or maybe because of it.
I couldn’t help my grin at his words. I doubted whether anyone else on the team knew Hux’s nicknames for Jacques and Carina, but now everyone was going to be saying it.
“Mom and Dad,” Hewitt yelled and raised his glass.
I laughed. I’d been doing a lot of that lately, and I loved it. Three cheers for Mom and Dad indeed.