Chapter 6
Sven: Nine years ago
six
. . .
This woman… she’s, like, ten times out of my league. I’m not even in the league, I’m watching from the bleachers as everyone else competes around me. There’s a reason I’m a nineteen-year-old virgin playing in the National Hockey League.
I mean, I’ve fooled around before. I’ve been set up on blind dates, and I’ve taken a teammate’s sister to the annual hockey gala at the end of the season. There was a little bit of kissing at the Halloween party, and?—
I’ve never been naked in the presence of a woman.
In high school, I always had more important things to worry about, like hockey. When I moved to Canada for my rookie season, I couldn’t afford to let myself get distracted. And now…
Well, everyone I know already knows how to do this. I mean, I get the gist. Tab A goes into Slot B. I’ve seen enough videos to understand what goes where. I’m sure it feels good. I just… I don’t know how.
Vanessa’s hand in mine drags me toward the elevator bank, and as we wait, she curls herself into my body, her arm low around my waist.
Typically, I’m touch averse. I don’t like physical contact, but the feeling of her warm skin on mine is making me dizzy in a good way. Her hand slides under my suit jacket to press against my abs over my vest. She nuzzles closer, her face buried in my neck, peppering light kisses along my jaw.
I have no idea what she sees in me. Is it just a score? A hockey player to check off her list?
No, she doesn’t seem like a puck bunny. I’ve been propositioned enough at the bars to know when a woman just wants the attention. She seems like she actually wants me, regardless of what I do for a living.
Somehow, that makes me feel worse. My stomach sinks. Nobody wants me, not in that way. Nobody ever has before. I don’t know why she’s pretending to be interested.
The elevator dings and we step in. She presses the button for the seventh floor and then curls into me again. Her face presses into my neck, enveloping me in her light floral scent.
When the doors open on her floor, she releases me to swipe her key, and then she beckons me to follow her into her room.
It’s a generic hotel room. Two double beds, one with clothes layered on top of the linens. Two suitcases — both open, messily stuffed full of clothes.
Vanessa turns to me, hands on her hips. “What’s your deal, dude?”
“My deal?”
“Yeah. Are you not interested in this? You haven’t tried to, like, take off my clothes or feel me up or anything.”
“Do you know who I am?” I ask.
She scowls.
“Do you know my name?” I rephrase.
Vanessa squints. “Shawn? Scott? Does it matter?”
“It matters.” Shaking my head, I exhale slowly. “Sven.”
“Hi, Sven,” she says. “I’m Vanessa. Are you going to fuck me or not?”
It’s my turn to squint at her.
“Why do you want me to fuck you?”
The word is harsh and foreign on my tongue. Even though I toss around plenty of “fucks” in my everyday vernacular, using it in this context is strange and new.
She blinks at me. “Because you’re gorgeous, and I want your massive Viking dick inside of me. Does it have to be anything more than that?”
This isn’t how I wanted my first time to go. This isn’t what I pictured. I don’t want to be used.
“Can we just… slow down?” I pull at my tie, sitting on the edge of the bed.
She sits beside me, one leg propped between us. Her blue eyes are curious.
“Everything okay?” she asks.
“I—I don’t do this. This isn’t what I do.” Running my hands over my pants, I look at her. “I don’t pick up random women. I don’t sleep around.”
Her expression softens. “Am I coming on too strong?”
When I nod, she sighs.
“This guy—” She blows out a breath. “You don’t want to hear about it.”
I do, though. Scooting closer, I set my hand on her hip.
“We went out on a date. And I thought he was interested. But it’s been a while and it’s clear he’s not, and I—I’m just a little bruised. I don’t like rejection,” she mutters.
“Nobody does.”
She shrugs. “Well, my friend Bex made this big deal about me getting back on the horse. I need to put myself out there again. And I guess… I went too far. I overcommitted.”
I give into the urge to coil one of her curls around my finger.
“I know a little about overcommitting.”
She raises her brows at me, encouraging me to elaborate.
“My singular focus for the last fifteen years has been hockey. It’s the only thing that matters.” I lift my shoulders. “I’m good at hyper focus. That’s my jam.”
Vanessa’s soft smile makes my stomach hurt. “What else is your jam?”
Toeing off my shoes, I pull off my jacket and toss it on the desk chair, then settle back against the pillows of the bed. She does the same, sliding off her heels and then coming to lay opposite me, her cheek on the pillow as she gazes up at me.
“I’m really good at chess,” I admit. “I was in several competitions back home.”
“Finland?”
“Sweden,” I correct. “I’m from a small town outside of Stockholm.”
“That must be nice,” she says wistfully. “I’m from Oregon, right on the border next to California.”
“Tell me about it. What’s it like?” I card my fingers through her hair, cupping her cheek because I just have to touch her.
Her hand comes to rest on mine, holding me to her.
“It was fine.”
When I snort out a laugh, she smiles.
“It’s fine,” she repeats. “My parents live two towns apart, so I spent a lot of time going between their houses.”
“Do you have siblings?”
She shrugs. “I mean, my parents both got married and had new kids. But they’re not my siblings. They’re just my parents’ kids.”
I don’t know what to say to that.
“How do you know the bride and groom?”
“We were on the same lacrosse team at Michigan,” Vanessa says. “I’ll miss her next year. I have two years left.”
“Jackson and I play on the same line,” I contribute. He’s a left winger and I’m on the right side.
We talk idly, learning about each other. She likes junk food and salad though not at the same time, hates bell peppers, is moderately obsessed with pesto sauce, and has no idea what she wants to do after she graduates.
“I’ve never had a one-night stand before,” I admit.
“Me, either,” she whispers.
Slowly, I bring my lips to hers. Her eyes flutter closed, and she exhales against me, melting into the pillows. She tastes sweet, like the champagne she was drinking earlier, and I don’t know how I’ve lived this long without doing this.
Vanessa squirms closer, her hand on my chest. I want to put my hand somewhere—do I hold her waist again?—when she takes my hand and presses it to her chest, in the same position as hers on mine.
Her breasts are round and plush. The sensation is nothing like I’ve ever felt before. Twisting my wrist, I cup her and run my thumb over the pebble in the center of the swell, and she lets out a soft moan.
Her fingers tweak my nipple, and I swear my cock goes rock-hard in about two-point-seven seconds.
Moving on instinct, I pull her body into me, and I know she can feel my natural reaction to her ministrations. She grinds against my hardness. My eyes roll back in my head and I swear?—
“I’d really like to suck your dick,” she says, and my traitorous cock jerks against her in my suit pants. “Is that okay with you?”
With my quick, insistent nod, she smiles, her hands moving to my belt. She gets my pants open and then slides her hand into my underwear.
The first contact of her palm against my cock has me panting like there’s an open goal on a power play, and I have the puck. I’ve never had another person’s hand on my dick before.
Vanessa draws me out, squeezing her hand around the base and then stroking the shaft, sticky from the pre-cum leaking from the tip. Her tongue comes out to wet her lips, and I twitch in her grip.
Her shove on my shoulder has me rolling onto my back, and she works my pants and boxers down my hips to pull them off. I’m still wearing my waistcoat, so I unbutton that, too, and then my shirt, leaving me naked in the bed.
She’s still wearing her dress.
“I want to see you,” I tell her. “Can I see you?”
Her blue eyes lock on mine, her fist around my dick, stroking torturously slow, as she nods silently.
There’s a clasp behind her neck. I tug at the strings, and the front of her dress falls away, leaving her bare from the waist up.
Her tits are?—
A fresh dribble of pre-cum works its way out of me, and she smirks, leaning down to swipe her tongue across the head of my dick.
When I groan, she takes more of me into her mouth, sucking on the head and then drawing me inside, swallowing around my length.
Holy fucking shit.
My hips jerk automatically, pushing more of my erection into her mouth.
Her eyes fall closed, her fist tightens around the base of my cock, and she works me into her mouth until her fist meets her lips.
I think I’m dying.
My right hand never felt as good as this feels right now. Hot, wet suction around my dick, and her tongue swirls around the sensitive slit of my cockhead as her hand slowly strokes the shaft.
Fisting the sheet with one hand, I curl my fingers into my palm with the other, biting my knuckles to keep from crying out.
Her hand cups my balls, rolling them in her palm. I didn’t know they were so sensitive. My mouth falls open in a silent O, and she sucks on the sensitive vein running along the underside of my cock.
“It’s okay,” she murmurs. “Let it go.”
She squeezes lightly on my balls, her fingers pressing on my taint, and I?—
Without warning, my cock jerks, and she pulls me into her mouth just before the orgasm barrels into me. The hot, wet suction of her mouth around me is an exquisite heaven that I never want to end.
In videos, sometimes the giver swallows, and sometimes they don’t. I don’t know what happens in real life. But as I watch, her throat works, swallowing my load, and I swear another gush comes from my cock at the sight.
Vanessa pulls back, looking mighty pleased, and she presses a soft kiss to the tip of my dick.
“What the fuck,” I manage, working to get air back into my lungs.
She looks up at me, her eyebrow quirked. “Excuse me?”
“I don’t think I’ve ever come that hard in my life,” I admit.
A pleased smile spreads across her face.
Reaching for her hand, I squeeze it. I’m not capable of much more than that right now.
Being touched on the ice doesn’t bother me because it’s part of the game. But off it? Mingled with the general population who have no reason to touch me? No. No thank you.
Vanessa pulls away and shucks the rest of her dress, leaving her in a tiny pair of black satin panties, and then slides up the bed to rest her head on the pillow opposite mine. Her hand lands on my chest, sticky from touching me.
I curl toward her, setting my hand on her hip and pulling her body into me. She smiles at me, her face hesitant.
Lowering my mouth to hers, I kiss her, and even though she tastes like me, I actually really like it. She softens, becoming pliant, and as I sweep my tongue into her mouth, she melts against me, half pulling me on top of her.
Her legs wrap around my waist, and I push up slightly to look at her body pressed intimately to mine. Even through her panties, I can feel the wet heat of her pressing against my spent cock, and it sends a bolt of need through me.
She pins her shoulders to the bed, pushing out her chest. “Like what you see?”
I close my palm around her breast, my thumb rubbing over her nipple, which tightens beneath my touch. “Yeah. A lot.”
As I lean down, I draw her other breast into my mouth, sucking gently. Based on the way she runs her hand through my hair and pulls me closer, I’m thinking she likes this. Kissing and nibbling, I memorize the taste of her skin, salty and sweet, a flavor I will never get enough of.
Her hips tilt up into mine.
My eyes flick to hers, and as I trail a hand down her side to her waist, she nods quickly.
Sliding her panties over her hips, I’m treated to my first up close and personal look at a pussy. It looks different than in videos. It smells good, too—my mouth waters; I need to taste her.
She’s waxed and hairless, her skin warm and smooth. I trail my hands up her thighs. When my skin doesn’t prickle at the feeling of hers, I do it again, and I duck my head, hiding my smile in her pussy.
Vanessa lets out a soft pant, running her fingers through my hair.
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I tell her honestly, trailing my finger through her wet seam. “You’ll have to tell me if this is what you like.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” she says with a confident grin. “I will.”