Chapter 7
Vanessa
seven
. . .
Sven brings a turkey pesto sandwich to my desk. He stands outside my cubicle, staring at me until I turn to face him.
“Can I help you?” I look away from my spreadsheets for a moment.
He thrusts the sandwich at me. “We need to talk.”
“Now?” Jacky’s in a meeting with Coach Turner—she’ll be back soon.
I don’t know what came over me. Why did I say it? Why did I lie to Robby?
Why did Sven play along?
“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “I think we’re starting off on the wrong foot. I’ll go back down there, tell him it was all a misunderstanding. I can have coffee with him or whatever.”
“You were together.” It’s a statement, not a question.
I nod. “We… right after you and I… we started dating. And then two and a half years later, we broke up. I haven’t seen him since.”
Sven winces. “Ouch.”
Shrugging, I try to play it cool. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”
He snorts. “Yeah, okay. And I’m neurotypical.”
Squinting at him, I try to understand. “What do you mean?”
But he shakes his head. “Do you want to get back with him?”
My stomach turns.
Do I?
No.
Not even a little bit.
The revolted expression on my face makes Sven crack a smile.
“So, until further notice, we’re dating,” he says quietly. “Is that going to be an issue for you? With your job?”
It is. It absolutely is. They’re sticklers about protocols, especially when it comes to players, so I have to rectify it quickly, especially now that Robby thinks Sven and I are dating. Especially since Sven kissed my cheek and held my hand in the bowels of the arena around other players.
This isn’t going to be easy to keep quiet now, and I have no idea if it’s going to be okay. But I’m committed now. And I’m not sure how to reconcile that commitment with the knowledge that I did it, fully aware that it’s against the rules.
It’s like Sven scrambled all the edges of my brain.
Again.
“I’ll figure it out,” I say instead. “There’s—it’s fine.”
“Are we ever going to talk about what happened?” Sven asks, cocking his head. “Or are we going to pretend it never happened for another nine years?”
I gulp. “So you do remember.”
“Vividly.” He presses his lips together, then looks away. “I apologize if I’ve made you uncomfortable.”
“You haven’t.” I think back to when I first started with the team. “You never mentioned it, so I assumed you forgot or just didn’t care.”
Sven shrugs. “Neither did you. Did you forget? Did you not care?”
All I remember was that I didn’t want the team to think I was trying to sleep my way to a job—or worse, use the job to launch myself into the bed of a player. I wanted to get by on my own merit. Besides, he was seeing someone when I started—I was hardly about to bring up our one-night stand when he was happily committed to another woman.
“We might have to pretend for a while,” I start slowly. “We can break up in a few weeks.”
“That’s fine.” He gestures to the sandwich. “You need to eat.”
How did he know I skipped lunch today? Unwrapping the sandwich, I pick out the tomatoes ruining it before taking a hearty bite. He remembered I love pesto.
“You won’t be able to go out with anyone else for a little while,” I warn him. “As long as we’re pretending…”
Sven shakes his head. “I understand what you’re asking of me.”
“There won’t be any problems with that?” I lift my brows. “Any… other partners who may come forward?”
He snorts. “Yeah, that’s not an issue.”
“What, are you, like, a monk or something?”
His eyes soften. “Something like that,” he admits. “I don’t go out much.”
“When was your last relationship?”
“When was yours?” He counters.
“I don’t do relationships. I’ve been single for a while.” I shrug. “It’s what I want.”
“And this won’t be an issue?” He moves his finger between us. “There’s nobody else who may have a contradictory history?”
“No, because it’s not real.” I’m matter of fact. “We’re just pretending. In a few weeks, we’ll break up.”
He mutters something in Swedish under his breath.
I barrel forward, fabricating a story I hope is believable. “It happened over summer. We ran into each other and…” I trail off.
“Fine,” Sven says crisply.
I blow out a breath. We can do this.
This is a lot. I don’t know Sven, not really. We hooked up—once—nine years ago. It never went beyond that. I didn’t follow his career. It’s only by chance that we both work in hockey now for the same team—him still on the ice, me behind the scenes.
Fuck. I have to tell my boss about this.
“What are we doing?” I scrub at my eyes, and as they come away gritty with dark smudges, I realize I’ve just smeared my eye makeup. “What the fuck is today?”
To my surprise, Sven laughs, his body relaxing. “I could ask you the same thing.”
“Why are you doing this? Why are you helping me?”
He shrugs. “You looked uncomfortable. I didn’t like it.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it,” he repeats.
“No ulterior motives?”
He frowns. “I didn’t like the way he was talking to you.”
That doesn’t ease my anxiety in the slightest.
“Robby’s fine. He won’t hurt me. He’s just?—”
“He tried to make you small. He talked down to you. He made you afraid.” A scowl crosses his pretty face. “I don’t like it.”
There’s a noise behind us, and immediately Sven moves, blocking me in with his broad frame—so nobody can catch sight of me in my cubicle with him? So he can protect me again? I don’t know.
He glances around. “Do we tell everyone?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never done this before.”
“That’s my line,” he mutters under his breath.
Glaring at him, I poke him in the chest. “I don’t date hockey players, and I?—”
He captures my finger, smoothly sliding my hand into his and lacing our fingers together. “I know you don’t.”
Patrice, the communications guru, enters the back office. He turns to look at her but doesn’t disengage.
“I should go,” he sighs.
Nodding, I agree, “That’s probably for the best.”
“Text me,” he says, squeezing my hand. “We’ll figure this out.”
Jacky calls me into her office around three. Blowing out a breath, I grab the paperwork and approach.
“We need to talk,” she says.
My stomach drops. “Okay.”
“I’m sure you’ve noticed some things are… different around here.”
My eyebrows go up. “Uh… yeah?” I mean, I haven’t, but I can pretend.
Her hand falls to her belly. “I’m not going to be able to travel for much longer.”
“Is everything okay?”
Jacky shakes her head. “It’s high-risk, and I’m not talking about it because it freaks me the fuck out, but my doctor is this close to grounding me. So I won’t be able to travel with the team for much longer.”
I knew she and Jo were trying for another baby in theory. I wasn’t privy to all of the sensitive details. I don’t need to know until I need to know.
I guess I need to know now.
“So you want me to travel with the team?”
Until now, I’ve handled everything from the ground. I don’t travel. Every once in a while, I can request to attend an away game, but it’s still work, and it’s not exactly restful. Besides, I don’t want my life to revolve around work.
“You and Scott will split the games,” Jacky continues. “You have seniority so you get to pick your preferred trips, but it’ll be as close to 50/50 coverage as we can get it.”
I swallow. Road trips. That’s not the end of the world. I could be getting fired. I’m glad it’s not that.
“Whatever you need,” I tell my boss quickly.
Jacky rubs her fingers together in the universal sign for money.
Right. She can’t volunteer that information. I have to ask for it.
“Is there additional compensation for the added responsibilities?”
She smiles. “Yes, I’m authorized to double the per diem and offer a five percent permanent total salary increase.”
“Five percent?” That’s almost nothing. It’ll barely make a difference after they take out the taxes.
“Your position is salaried, not hourly, and does not account for overtime.” She winces. “Since this is a temporary adjustment of duties and not a change in job function, the budget is constrained. All of your travel expenses are covered, of course. And your meals while on the trip. This salary increase will not be factored into your cost of living adjustment and performance-based increases.”
With a sigh, I roll the idea around in my head. It’s not that bad of a deal. It could be a lot worse.
My eyes fall to the paper in my hands. The one I printed and filled out with mostly lies before I walked in here.
“Before I agree, there’s something else we should talk about.” I hesitate.
“Everything okay?” Jacky’s brows knit in confusion.
Passing over the paper, I wait as she silently reads.
Her eyebrows lift.
She looks at me.
I nod.
She tilts her head to the side, pursing her lips.
“This is legitimate?” she asks.
My stomach twists as I nod again.
“How long?”
“Long enough.”
She sighs. “Van, he’s a player.”
“I know.”
“I mean, if management finds out…”
They’ll protect his job, she’s saying. They won’t do the same for mine.
“They’ll find out sooner or later. We’re not hiding it.” I nod to the official paperwork. “It’s all above-board. We’re legitimate now. Dating.”
It’s not supposed to be a big deal.
So why is my stomach fluttering?
“You’re sure you want to do this?” Jacky asks. Concern is sketched on her face.
“I like him,” I say simply. “The front office may not like it, but they didn’t say it couldn’t happen.”
Nobody has to ever know that it’s not real.
Right?