Chapter 10
“You haven’t answered my question about what you’re doing here.”
I try to sound confident. I really do.
I square my shoulders, clutching the damp towel around my waist as if it’s a suit of armor, but I can hear the wobble in my voice. I sound small. I sound like the biology nerd who spends more time talking to turtles than humans.
My skin is still prickling from the cold water, and the looming mountain of a man standing near my desk chair is making my brain short-circuit.
I just hope I don’t start backing away. He already thinks I’m a dimwit or some delicate flower. I won’t give him the satisfaction of seeing me retreat.
Devlin watches me, his dark eyes tracking the way my chest heaves. “I gave you a three-day break,” he says, his voice like gravel. “Thank God, you’ve been sitting here almost the whole time, only going to classes and to see your animals. I approve.”
My eyes widen. The embarrassment of being half-naked is momentarily eclipsed by pure shock. “You… gave me a break? Err… a break from what? You didn’t even tell me anything. You’ve been stalking me?”
“A break from… me,” Devlin replies after a heavy beat.
He begins to approach me, slow and predatory. I’m too stunned to move, paralyzed at the opposite end of the bed as he enters my personal space.
“What made you think I needed a break?” I stumble over the syllables.
He doesn’t answer with words. Instead, he moves with a terrifying, silent speed.
He’s behind me before I can blink, pressing my bare back sharply against the solid wall of his chest. His hands find my waist, holding me with a grip that feels weightless yet utterly unbreakable. He nudges my head to the side, his lips brushing against the shell of my ear.
“Stop shivering, sweetie. Don’t worry, nothing’s going to happen,” he whispers. The heat of his breath makes my knees turn to water. “I just needed to check that you were all right. I’m very upset that you ran off without telling me, but I knew this would happen, so I followed you straight away.”
“I’m not shivering,” I lie stubbornly, even as a fresh tremor racks my body. “It’s just the cold. From the shower.”
Inside, my head is screaming. Nothing’s going to happen? After the way he looked at me?
My heart is drumming against my ribs so hard I’m sure he can feel it through my spine. I want something to happen. I want that drug-like euphoria I felt in the hallway again. I’m ready to burn for it.
Devlin lets out a soft, dark chuckle against my skin. “Sweetie. Okay, whatever you say. Soon you’ll be under the duvet and it won’t be cold anymore. And I’ll leave.”
His condescension strips away my confidence more effectively than the loss of my clothes ever could, leaving me feeling raw and exposed. Sweetie. The authoritative, patronizing tone—the way he just praised me for ‘good behavior’ as if I’m one of my rescue rabbits.
Irritation explodes in my chest, and I turn sharply in his arms to face him, the towel nearly slipping.
“Don’t call me that. I’m sick of the condescending ‘sweetie.’ I hate it. Stop it. I know you think it’s some clever way to dismiss me, but I’m done hearing it. Just stop.”
To my utter shock, Devlin flinches. His dark eyebrows knit together, and his eyes drop to my lips.
Under the dim glow of the nightlight, his pale skin suddenly darkens.
Is Devlin Bower… blushing?
The star of the hockey team, the brutal machine who fears nothing, is flustered. My heart triples its pace. I’ve lost it. I am officially, dangerously in love with this man.
“Okay, whatever you say,” Devlin replies. His tone is dry, but the red staining his cheeks tells a different story. “Only… that’s not exactly dismissive.”
“Not dismissive?” I ask, breathless.
He jerks his head up, pinning me with an intense stare. “You’re sweet, Val. In everything. Even when you’re angry. I accidentally called you that for the first time… to your face. I didn’t think I’d say it out loud.”
My stomach flips. “Then why are you saying… that nothing’s going to happen today?”
The vulnerability in the room vanishes instantly. Devlin’s face hardens into stone. He withdraws, his expression becoming stern and icy. “Because it’ll be better that way. Go to bed.”
“No way. I’m not taking orders from you,” I snap, the rejection stinging. “Anyway, I’m glad nothing’s going to happen. I think we’re done with this. Leave.”
I try to brush past him to the bed, but he blocks my path, his chest a barrier I can’t move.
“I’m hanging by a thread, Val,” he says, his voice dropping into a hoarse, guttural rasp.
“That’s your problem,” I snort.
I pull a clever move—faking a step to the left, then darting right, climbing onto the bed with the agility of a biologist used to catching escaped hamsters.
Devlin staggers, his own momentum carrying him the wrong way for a split second. He looks at me from the floor, his eyes narrowing.
“Now it’s your problem, Val,” he murmurs.
He lunges.
His hands catch my hips, dragging me toward him.
In one fluid, brutal motion, he rips the towel away. I gasp, my skin baring to the cool room, but I don’t feel the cold for long.
His mouth is on my shoulder, kissing me roughly, his teeth grazing the skin.
“You can do whatever you want, Val,” he rasps, his voice dropping into that dark, terrifying register. “But I’m going to do exactly as I see fit. And right now? I see fit to do this.”
I’m halfway through a scathing remark about his bossy streak when the world tilts. His hand slides down, his palm hot and calloused as it closes around my cock.
Everything disappears. There is only the sensation of his calloused palm, the expert rhythm of his stroke, and the way his mouth worships my skin.
I arch my back, pressing myself fully against the solid muscle of his chest, a broken moan escaping me.
“I never believed I’d see you like this,” he whispers darkly.
I’m on the verge of shattering, my breath coming in jagged hitches, when he suddenly shifts me.
He makes me get down on all fours on the mattress.
Shame flares for a microsecond—I feel so exposed, so vulnerable—but it’s drowned out when I feel his hot breath between my thighs.
Devlin begins licks my hole.
A shocked cry leaves my throat.
My fingers dig into the bedsheets, my head tossing from side to side. Fuck, it’s pure torture.
It’s the most shameful, incredible, mind-blowing thing I’ve ever experienced.
His tongue is aggressive, possessive, exploring me until I’m sobbing into the pillow. He grips my thighs and calves tighter, forcing me to arch my back even further until I’m offering him everything.
He pauses for a heartbeat, almost as he is watching the way I tremble under his gaze, before abruptly pulling me back against him.
He grips my cock again, and within three frantic strokes, I’m coming.
I cry out as I spurt onto his hand, the pleasure so sharp it borders on pain.
Devlin presses his half-open mouth against my cheek, breathing heavily, gasping for air as if he’s the one who just came.
As I come down from the high, still tingling, I mumble, “I want to feel you… Please. Let me touch you. I want to try… I want to put my mouth on you. ”
Devlin’s lips stay pressed to my cheek. He’s frozen.
“I want to touch you with my lips,” I say timidly, my heart in my throat. “I want to feel you.”
Devlin stiffens as if I’ve just stabbed him. He exhales a long, shaky breath. “No. Not today. I’ve already lost control.”
Rage flashes through me. That tone. That wall. “Is it because I’m a virgin?” I snap. “Is that it? You’re being ‘responsible’ again?”
He doesn’t answer. I realize I can’t fight him with anger—he’s used to our fights. I need to be wiser.
I swallow my pride, turning in his arms to look up at him. I soften my eyes, letting all my sensitivity, all my real longing show.
“Devlin, please,” I whisper, stroking the back of his hand. “Let me. I just want to try. I’ll make you feel good. I want to feel your skin against my mouth.”
Devlin stares at me, looking genuinely haunted.
“I want to feel it,” I breathe, smiling with my eyes.
“Stop it,” he rasps. “Fuck. Don’t do that to me.”
“Do what?”
“Do you have any idea what your eyes are doing to me?” He clenches his teeth, his jaw ticking. “I said we just need to slow down.”
My heart breaks. I start to crawl away, my eyes stinging. “So you don’t want to?”
He catches me, his teeth sinking into the meat of my shoulder in a way that makes me gasp.
“You’ve robbed me of every last shred of sanity,” he hisses.
He doesn’t say another word. He just moves, positioning himself, and he nods.
I lower myself between his thick thighs. I’m nervous—terrified, really—but the sight of him, hard and heavy, fills me with a primal heat.
I timidly brush my lips against the tip. He tastes like salt and soap. I take him into my mouth, my tongue tentatively swirling around him.
“Fuck, Val. Fuck,” he groans, the sound vibrating through his whole body.
I’ve barely taken him in three times, barely managed to get a rhythm, when he hitches. His back arches, and then he’s coming.
A thick, hot stream spurts into my mouth, over my cheek, and onto my shoulders. He doesn’t moan, but he makes a deep, guttural sound from the back of his throat. His hand frantically strokes my hair, pulling me close to his stomach.
I stay there, reeling. It’s the most erotic thing I’ve ever known. The weight of him, the reality of it.
But then, the ice returns.
Devlin pulls me up, his voice quiet and almost angry. “After you said this was your first time… none of this is supposed to be happening like this. I shouldn’t have let this happen. It’s all new to you, that’s why you’re so keen to rush.”
The realization hits me like a bucket of cold water. I scramble away from him, pulling the sheet over me.
“You… you only behaved differently after the hallway,” I whisper. “You’re only talking about my lack of experience. You’re only doing all this because I was a virgin and now you feel responsible?! Is this just some stupid duty to you?”
Devlin’s expression is heavy. “Sweetie, believe me, if there is any duty on my part, you can’t even imagine what lies behind it.”
“Stop talking to me like I’m a teenager!” I jump out of bed, fuming. “You’re acting like this because I’m inexperienced.”
“I’m responsible for you,” he says flatly.
“It’s all because of Sasha, isn’t it? Because of my brother?”
Devlin stands up. “Forget about your brother when it comes to us. Sasha knows how I feel about you,” he says, his voice turning into steel.
I freeze. My pulse thuds in my ears. “Sasha… knows? Since when? I only told him I was gay yesterday, and I didn’t even mention you.”
“Sasha knows how I feel. He’s known for a long time.”
“What do you mean?” I laugh bitterly. “That you think I’m an annoying brat?”
Devlin looks like he’s holding back a flood. “Your brother is observant. He is smart. That’s why he is my best friend, by the way. He knew how I feel. You imagined I hated you because you hated me. It’s ridiculous. I’ve never felt a single negative emotion toward you, Val. Not one.”
I whisper, “You’re making a mockery of me. How did he react? Sasha knew what?”
“We talked about it once. We understood each other,” Devlin replies tensely.
The betrayal burns. “I’m so glad you boys sorted it out. Great. You and my brother made some pact? Some decision about how to handle ‘naive little Val’? You kept me in the dark while you decided my future?!”
Devlin stares at me, silent. He has no intention of explaining further.
“Go away,” I say, my voice cracking. “Go. I’m stupid and naive. Thanks for the lesson. Again. You don’t need to feel responsible anymore. I’ll find someone else to ‘practice’ on, so I can lose my virginity properly.”
In a blur of motion, Devlin is on me. He lunges, his hands caging my face with a grip tight enough to sting.
“I’ll prove it every damn day if that’s what it takes,” he hisses into my face. “I’m never letting you go. Never. And yes, you’re my responsibility now because you’re mine. Every inch of you. You’re mine. Mine. Mine! Only mine! From start to finish.”
He leans into my ear, his voice a dark, shaking whisper. “If you ever even look in another man’s direction, he’s dead. Understand? You have no idea how sick I am for you. I haven’t slept for weeks. Only you exist. Only your eyes. But I’m trying to keep control. So cool off until tomorrow.”
He turns and walks out. He doesn’t look back.
I’m glad, because if he had, I would have chased him. I would have kissed him despite the anger.
“I’ll cool down when you stop telling half-truths!” I yell after him.
He stops at the threshold but doesn’t turn around. He steps into the hall, and the door shuts.
The lock clicks loudly.