Chapter 5 Vae #2
I rip my eyes from Mal and focus on starting and driving the car, even with Deacon’s glare burrowing into the side of my head.
“You’re really going to do this?”
I press my lips into a line and guide the car around a roundabout.
“Yes.” I give the shortest version, not giving a second thought about their feelings.
“Uh-huh.”
I steal a quick look at him. His eyes have a stillness that never bodes well for the person on the receiving end. I shift my attention back to the road and pull into the arena, stopping the car in front of the doors.
Mal gets out and wanders off without a backward glance, but Deacon stays in the car, still staring at me, until, with a huff of annoyance, I turn to look at him.
Instead of the frown, I see something that makes me go all shivery inside. It’s a smirk, a very knowing and awful kind of smirk that makes me think I’m in a whole lot of trouble.
“Are you going to say anything?” I snap and look away from him, tightening my fingers on the steering wheel.
I glance at him again. He leans forward, almost as if he’s about to say something low and personal. I hold my breath, every muscle tense. He laughs lightly and unclips his seatbelt and then, in a whirl of that coffee scent that makes me weak, he slips out of the car and disappears into the arena.
I take off just in case he comes back.
My phone pings, and I pull over just long enough to check the message.
The relief I feel when I see Mandy’s name has me almost collapsing.
Instead of going home to face the silent wrath of Raynor, I need to regroup and talk to someone who can give me some clear, logical advice.
I send an instant message and sit back, chewing my thumbnail. It’s a long, long message, and though I’ve put almost all the details in, there are a few I’ve left out, like how I woke up this morning.
Three dots appear, disappear, and return.
The playground is empty. The sky is blue with those white fluffy clouds I love to look at.
But I can’t appreciate any of the beauty today.
I stand up and pace the small expanse of the pirate ship playground I’m hiding on.
She’s going to tell me I’m crazy, that I should totally leave them and celebrate on the way out.
It’s what any sane person would do. But I can’t.
We are so enmeshed in each other’s lives.
My phone dings, and I dive on it.
I pick it up but barely read the first sentence before I get a video call.
I answer it and see my friend. The relief I feel at seeing her familiar face has me slumping against the wooden side of the pirate ship.
I met Mandy when I volunteered to join her ARC team and review her new book; she quickly became my newest and favorite author.
One DM gushing turned into hours worth of messages, and, over the last few months, she’s become the best friend I didn’t know was missing from my life.
“Mandy, thank you,” I breathe out and try not to sniffle. I hate how emotional I am now.
Mandy has the coolest pink hair, cut to her shoulders.
It reminds me of fairy floss and cupcakes.
I have a whole range in my head that I want to create called the Mandee Be Free cake range.
She’s very pale, but has an ethereal beauty to her, and she’s living her dream. I wish I had half of her courage.
I close my eyes and try to hold back the tears.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were going through all of that?” Mandy almost shrieks. “Vae, seriously, I had a feeling you were in love with them, but I didn’t realise it was that bad. Oh, girl, come on now, talk to me, I’m here.”
I sniffle. “They are messing with me. It’s a new game.”
“Wait, wait, wait. Go back to the start. So, you fell in love with them years ago, right?”
I hold the phone up and sit with my back against the wood.
“Yes. I don’t even know when, I just have always been in love with them,” I admit. Is this the first time out loud I’ve said that?
“Okay.” Mandy chews on her bottom lip, her eyes going distant as she thinks it all through. “I just want to ask something, just to sound it out here, don’t freak out.”
“Okay,” I say hesitantly.
“Are they scent matches?”
I gape at my phone, unable to think of anything but those two words. Scent matches. In a world of pheromones, designations, and bonds, a scent match is as good as you’re going to get to having true love.
Mandy leans into her camera, her face filling the screen. “Did I break you?”
I thunk my head back on the wood, but it doesn’t help. “I mean, it’s impossible; they would, I mean, I would know…right?” My grip on the phone slips. I catch it and peer at her face while I try not to beg. “Mandy, I’d know, wouldn’t I?”
“I don’t know. The rest of us need to meet our scent matches, and we get hit with them like a powerful wave of the most delicious thing we’ve ever smelled.
But you,” Mandy leans back, frowning, “you lived with them from the time you were kids. You were there getting used to their scents before they had them. Maybe it’s like that thing people say, you know, about boiling a frog. ”
“Why would I want to boil a frog?” I ask faintly.
“No, it’s a metaphor. It means that if you put a frog in cold water and turn up the heat, it will boil to death, never realising the danger. But if you put it in boiling water, it just hops out. You, my dear, are the frog.”
I blink hard. “I’m the frog?”
“The water’s boiling around you. It was cool, then warm, and now, you are cooking. You are the frog, Vae. What are you going to do?”
I purse my lips, trying not to laugh at her serious expression. “Boil to death?”
“Get out of the pot!”
“Oh.” Suddenly, that’s a lot less funny. “You’re saying…”
“You said you were going to leave. I’m saying you should do it now. Maybe it will wake them up. Maybe without the boiling water, you can get a good feel of the world and some clarity.”
“But-”
“No buts, Vae. You’re boiling to death. They will either prove they don’t deserve you or they will come to their senses, but the only thing I can suggest right now is absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
That’s a miserable thought.
“Where should I go?”
“You should go stay at a hotel for a couple of days, just until you get the lay of the land. Figure out where to proceed from there. Who knows, maybe this hunky alpha Marilyn is setting you up with might be the one.”
I shudder.
“Pack a bag, Vae. Get out of the pot. Don’t let them destroy you.”
I know she’s right; I know it’s what I have to do, but why does it feel like doing it would be like abandoning them?
“Okay, I’ll message you from the hotel,” I murmur.
I hear a kid laughing and running towards the playground.
“I have got to go!”
“Hang in there, V, you've got this.”
I blow a kiss at the phone and end the call.
Then I scramble away from the playground, too scared to go out and face the music, even if it is in the form of a little kid. She’s right…I have to leave, and I have to do it today…no, tomorrow.
One more night.