Chapter 16 Raynor
Raynor
PAST
Vae hasn’t spoken in days. She is silent as she stands beside me in a black dress, her cheeks too white, and her eyes glassy. I reach out and take her hand, half expecting her to pull away, but she doesn’t. Instead, her lower lip trembles.
She looks so young, like she’s still the kid everyone says she is, that I pull her into my arms, resting my chin on her head. Deacon and Mal step closer, the four of us and maybe a handful of other people to mourn the woman who saved us.
The priest reads the words we gave him, and then it’s over.
“Vae, you aren’t alone. We’re always going to be together.”
She stills and then pulls away. “Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting.”
It’s a quote from her favourite book.
Those words sit with me for days, and Vae, she bounces back, throwing herself into the cleaning and cooking, and she never does explain.
But she’s not the same.
PRESENT
Where is Vae? Marilyn had mentioned she was here fifteen minutes ago, and I haven’t been able to think about anything since.
I’m bored out of my brain, and Indy’s appeal had vanished a long time ago. Being here with her isn’t just grating; it’s turning me homicidal. I think Marilyn ordering Mal and Deacon to bring her here with us has kind of killed any lingering charity towards her.
The way she has been pushing us around and posing for the cameras has illuminated exactly who she is, and my temper is threatening to get the better of me.
“Why are we here with her?” I snap at Deacon.
“Because Marilyn threatened to bench us if we didn’t.”
“Look at her. Is this really who you want?” I snarl, my voice full of loathing.
Deacon looks at Indy and shakes his head. “God, no.”
“So, fucking do something about it or I will,” I snarl at him. “I’ll be back when I can stomach being in the same hemisphere as her.”
Mal grabs my wrist, but I discreetly break his hold and wander off, leaving them alone with her.
The speeches are done, and people have eaten, so now everyone is just wandering around catching up. She was supposed to come and eat with us, wasn’t she? Isn’t that why Marilyn told us she was here?
Where has she gone? I can feel her here.
I start my second lap of the room when I spot her. She’s standing close to a very attractive alpha, staring up at him, smiling.
She looks so different. The gown she’s wearing is black, simple, elegant, and floor length. It somehow manages to look both dressy and casual. Her hair is coiled loosely on the back of her neck, and she looks… I don’t know, but there’s something different about her.
It’s like I’m seeing her for the first time.
She grew up.
When the hell did she grow up and get so damn beautiful it makes it hard to breathe? She smiles, and, I swear, the whole room fades away.
I’d asked how do we fall in love, but that’s not the question. That was never the question. It’s not how. It’s when did I fall in love?
I lift a hand to my chest, hoping to relieve the pressure there. He holds out his hand to her, and she lifts hers without hesitation. He takes her out onto the dance floor and spins her elegantly around the room.
No! That should be my dance.
But I’m frozen. I can’t move. All I can do is stare and watch her dance with another alpha.
It hurts.
Malcolm bounds up to me and puts a hand on my shoulder. “Hey, you should have seen what just happened…” Mal’s words fade, and I hear him gasp softly. “Vae?”
“Who is she with?” Deacon asks in an icy voice.
“I don’t know,” I mutter and watch as they sweep past us. I see the exact moment she spots us because she stumbles slightly, but he catches her up, glancing at us and dismissing us like we’re nothing.
That grates on me.
We stand there in silence, watching him spin Vae around. At last, after for fucking ever, the song finishes, and they stop and walk off the dance floor. She pauses and says something to him, and they turn in our direction.
He frowns in concern, but she laughs and shakes her head.
I’ll bet my left arm he just asked her if she would be okay with us.
She gives him one last smile and walks over to us. The material, that dress clings to her breasts, hips, and thighs as she walks. She looks like a femme fatale. I’m not even sure what I want to say to her.
She gets to us and tilts her head back. “Hi.”
“Vae, you have a da-”
I elbow Deacon hard.
“You look incredible, Vae. Absolutely gorgeous.” I smoothly interject over Deacon.
Her smile is radiant, and her eyes get shiny, her cheeks red. I do not want to take this moment away from her, not for anything in the world.
“Vae!” Mal breathes in awe. “You are like a stunningly hot babe.”
Vae snorts out a laugh.
Mal pulls her into a hug, but he’s careful, and he doesn’t rumple her.
Deacon is still scowling, so while she’s distracted, I turn to Deacon and lean in to whisper in his ear.
“If you ruin this moment for her, I will break your knee, and you can watch your season from the injury.”
Deacon growls, but I ignore him, turning back to Vae.
“Will you dance with me?”
She hesitates but gives me a slight nod.
I hold out my hand, and she places hers in mine. I lead her onto the dance floor. A slow modern song comes on, one I really like. I pull her closer than her alpha friend held her. In fact, we’re touching thigh to thigh, chest to chest, her head tucked under my chin.
I sing the song to her, just holding her in my arms. All those revelations fade, and there is just the happiness of being with her.
Wrapping the warmth of this moment around the discovery and holding it close to me because I don’t know what’s going to happen in a few minutes, I don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow, but, right now, the beta I have loved all my life is in my arms, dancing with me, under chandeliers and candlelight, looking like the sexiest daydream I’ve ever fantasised. It’s one of those perfect-life moments.
A song composes in my head, but, for the first time in forever, I ignore my instincts to create and instead focus on the moment.
“Vae?”
“Hmm?”
“You really do look incredible tonight.”
“So do you? All black? Very sleek.”
I chuckle. “It was Deacon’s idea. He was hoping to scare people off.”
“He has a warped idea of what scares people.”
I stroke my hand down her bare back and feel her shiver and press closer.
“Do you, uh, want to go out and get dinner with me after? I know this place has food, but it’s got weird food, and I found a new place.”
She tilts her head back, her eyes alight with curiosity. “You found a new place?”
“I did. Do you want to go with me?”
“Oh, you don’t play fair; you know I love trying new places.”
“So, come with me?”
“All right, it’s a date.”
My stomach bursts into butterflies like I’m fourteen all over again.
I’ve stretched out the moment a little longer, but now I need to relinquish her back to the alpha who is clearly her date.
The owners don’t bat an eye at our fancy dress. Vae takes a bite of the bee-sting and moans. “This is incredible.”
She takes another bite, getting cream on her nose, and I find myself smiling at her, watching how happy she is.
“Raynor, you need to try this.” She holds it up to me, and I lean forward and take a bite.
It is really good.
She spins around, flaring out the train of her skirt. “You guys are pure genius. This is incredible. How did you get the sweet and salty balance?”
The older woman smiles, her cheeks red. I doubt she’s ever seen anyone get so excited over her pastries before.
I watch them talk before Vae comes back to me and hugs me. It’s impulsive and unexpected, and it takes my breath away.
“Thank you, Raynor. This was just what I needed.”
“Anything for you, Vae.”
I take her hand and drive us back home.
She kicks her shoes off and picks them up, walking around the house and out the back.
“Not going to get undressed?”
“No, it’s nice to feel pretty.”
I pull at my black tie and unbutton the first three buttons on my black shirt.
She looks up at the stars and smiles.
“What are you smiling at the stars for?”
“I’m just telling them I found another recipe for them to try.”
“The stars?”
“Whoever is out there.” She shrugs but doesn’t drop her smile.
“Is anyone out there?”
“I don’t know, but does it hurt to talk to them?”
I laugh and catch her up. “Dance with me again, just you and me and the stars you love so much.”
She curls her arms around me, and I move her in a slow shuffle.
“Stay with us.”
I don’t mean to say it, and I wish I could take it back. She shuts down and steps back, putting this space between us that I hate.
“I can’t stay.” Her face creases into a scowl. “You didn’t call.”
That soft accusation hits hard. “I know. I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to-” I cut myself off. “Mal was really drunk, too drunk. It took me until sunrise to get him to bed.”
“Oh.”
She doesn’t look convinced. She looks hurt.
“Why can’t you stay, Vae?” I almost whisper.
She huffs. “Its complicated. There are a lot of reasons, and I just can’t stay. It would ruin everything.”
She backs away from me, and I feel reality bleeding into the magic that has been this night.
“You can’t run away and pretend to be Cinderella. I know where you live.”
She laughs at me. “No, you don’t.”
I catch her back into my arms, but, this time, I try to find the friendship that we used to have. I push the attraction away, and I try to remember that she is Vae.
It doesn’t work.
Apparently, once opened, this Pandora’s box can’t be closed.
I take her hand and drag her inside.
“Time to turn back into a pumpkin.”
She snickers, but when I get to the door, we end up chest-to-chest. The moment stretches out for a long time. I want to kiss her. I want to make her feel good or just babble out all these new thoughts and see if there’s any miracle chance she feels the same.
She ducks her head and breaks our locked gazes first and squeezes through the back door.
I watch her walk away and press a hand to my chest again.
I need time to assess the situation, to figure out a game plan, because it’s not my decision alone.
There’s the pack to consider.
But watching Vae get in a taxi and drive away is almost as painful as seeing her in that alpha’s arms.