Chapter 15 Vae
Vae
PAST
It’s been almost a year since we started college and three weeks since Maria put that seed of doubt in my mind, and they are just having the best time.
The problem is that when I need them, even if I don’t tell them, they are there, rescuing me from a pushy date, arriving with an umbrella when it’s raining.
Bringing me chocolate when I want to cry.
They are acting as if everything is normal.
Like I’m a sister.
They don’t even get why I’m being like this.
I’m going to tell them.
It will ruin everything, but if I tell them, then I can leave and start a new life. I’ve already arranged a transfer to another school. I’ve got a friend I can stay with, too.
They are sitting on the couch for once with no omega or beta between them.
Here’s my chance.
My phone rings.
I glance down at it and frown.
“Hello?”
“I’m looking for Vae McMillan.”
“Speaking,” I murmur, turning away from the guys.
“Hello, my name is Rebecca, and I’m a doctor at Rosemead Hospital. I have a patient here by the name of Maria McMillan. Is there any chance you can come in?”
****
PRESENT
I walk in and stop just inside the doors.
The room is immaculate. Tables with black tablecloths and gold plates are arranged around the room in the most elegant display I’ve ever seen.
There are gold fabric banners running along the roof, leading to where people are walking around talking in the most beautiful dresses.
Marilyn appears beside me, a glass of red wine in her hand.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Yes. I still don’t know why I’m here.”
“Because I need to keep my side of the bargain. I’ll introduce you to Alpha Jansen tonight. Consider this your first date.”
My stomach drops out, and I want nothing more than to reach out and tell her that I can’t. That I’ve changed my mind. But then I remember Indy’s words and Raynor, who never called.
She moves away from me, smiling and talking to an old couple I don’t recognise.
I brush my hand down the front of my dress and take a glass of white wine when the server pauses beside me.
“Thanks,” I murmur.
He smiles slightly and walks off. He was cute. If I were a beta and weren’t at risk of dropping what is almost a pheromone bomb on people, I could try to meet someone like him.
He’s in my league. I have no doubt that he would understand the difficulties facing serving in a place like this. Hell, I’ve served drinks in this building on a different night.
I sip the wine, but I can barely taste it. Where is the pack? Surely, they are here? Raynor said he would be here.
I make my way around the room, staying at the edges, nodding and smiling at people who watch me but don’t try to engage me in conversation.
Where is Raynor?
I hate the staring, like everyone here knows I shouldn’t be here. They know I’m a fake and a phony. I stand out; everyone can see I don’t belong.
An alpha approaches me and smiles. He is gorgeous, with a dark beauty and a chiselled jaw. His tux is black, but with a gold shirt, which is striking. But it’s the friendly smile that undoes me.
“You look beautiful tonight, Vae.”
I jerk, glancing at him and around. “I’m, uh, sorry, but do I know you?”
He’s older but not by much, with dark hair smoothed back and bright brown eyes.
“My name is Jansen Dores.”
My lips part on all the things I want to say but can’t.
He moves up close to me and faces the art on the wall. I turn to it blindly, wishing I could find a way to get rid of him. Or run away. This is my date?
“It’s beautiful, isn't it?”
“It confuses me.”
“Does it? Hmmm, I can see that.”
The piece is abstract with mixed media. It confuses me. I was truthful about that much, but I like the tangled mess; it reminds me of my life in the best way.
He circles around me, and I fall in step with him, watching out of the corner of my eye as he leads me to the next one. This is a photo of a person standing in a window all alone.
“That’s sad.”
“It is very emotional,” he agrees. “What do you think she’s thinking?”
“I think she’s wondering if the people she loves love her back,” I murmur without thinking. I let out a self-depreciating laugh. “Or how much she misses her cat.”
He shuffles closer to me, letting someone pass him by, and our arms brush, but there’s nothing. Absolutely nothing.
“Do you want to go raid the hors d’oeuvre?” he whispers, but his eyes twinkle. Despite not feeling anything, I want to be friends with him.
“We shouldn’t.”
This alpha is exciting in a way that some people are like lights or magnets to others. I want to bask in his radiance.
“I know, but all these boring speeches are going to start, and we’ll be starving for the next two hours. Join me. I promise if anyone says anything, I will completely take the blame.”
I finally dip my chin. He takes my hand in his and leads me through the crowd.
I might not feel anything towards this alpha, but for the first time tonight, I don’t feel completely alone.
He spots a server and crooks a finger. The server beelines for us and dips his head.
“How can I help you, Alpha?”
“Can you grab us a tray? We don’t want to starve while they are all yapping. My growling stomach will ruin the evening.”
The server bites his lip to stop a smile, and I realise that Jansen is an alpha who is gifted at getting people to relax around him.
He’s charming and funny, inquisitive, and everybody’s friend.
He’s just not the alpha for me.
That doesn’t matter, Vae. Better an alpha who treats you nicely than one who doesn’t. You have three who won’t, do you really want to keep getting kicked, ending up like the woman in the photo?
We follow the server into a darkened corner and wait for the tray to be brought out.
“I can help you, if you want. No pressure. You seem like a lovely young omega, Vae. But it’s always going to be your decision. Trust me, if you tell me you don’t want me at all, I am not going to be offended. I just want you to be safe and happy, and I think you deserve that.”
“You barely know me,” I whisper.
“I know, but I trust my instincts, and they say that you are a good person. We might not be a romantic match, but I can be a friend and would be honoured to see you through a heat. Now you don’t need to make a decision, I’m just putting it out there.”
I stare at him, jumping when the server puts the tray down.
“Thanks, Jed,” Jansen says with a wink my way.
I turn and watch him walk away. “You know their names?”
“Of course, I hired them. I should know everyone’s names, shouldn’t I?”
He’s literally the perfect alpha.
Why is life so cruel?
“Try these little crab cakes; they are delicious. My grandma gave me the recipe, and I’ve had them prepared at every event I host. It’s my secret comfort while I'm standing here in a penguin suit, wishing I was at home in my robe, drinking hot chocolate instead of red wine.”
“Hot chocolate?”
“Don’t knock it! I like early nights and movies, hot chocolate, and those little ball things, you know, the ones that are fruit covered in chocolate.”
I grin at him. “I like the little fairy cakes.”
“Oh, yeah, they are great, too. What do you do, Vae?”
“I serve,” I say and gesture to the wait staff. “But I want to open a little cake store. That’s my dream.”
“A cake store! I love it! You have to make something special for me.”
I laugh at his enthusiasm.
“Okay, tell me what cake is the hardest to make?”
“Ooh, there are lots. I don’t like dealing with ice-cream, but I love working with chocolate.”
“You are an alpha’s walking dream.” He groans sensually.
My cheeks heat, and I glance sideways, looking for them because I have to.
“I’m not, though.”
“Oh, you are, Vae. Don’t sell yourself short. And if people have not noticed how wonderful you are, then that’s on them, because you are amazing.”
He turns away, grabbing another tiny morsel from the plate.
“Try this one. My chef swears by it, but I’ve come to realise it’s one of those you either love it or you hate it foods.”
He holds it to my mouth. I can refuse. I can turn my head away, but this is the alpha who is going to save me, and I like him. He’s nice.
Even though this feels so weird.
I open my mouth, and he pops it in. No part of his fingers touch me at all.
But it feels like he has, and I don’t like it.
And that makes me want to cry.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Deacon. He’s laughing. I turn in his direction, unable to look anywhere else.
Mal is on his right, looking resplendent in his tux. On the other side is Raynor, smiling politely but with much more reservation.
They are behaving. None of them are drunk.
Will wonders never cease? I should go to them, say hello.
My heart thumps in my chest, but then it stalls. Indy steps up beside Deacon, her hair in an elegant coil on her head. The dress is skin tight and ends high up her thighs, and her heels make her look like those legs go on forever.
She matches them perfectly, laughing and smiling.
“They look so good together,” I murmur.
“Do they? I don’t know. They look kind of bored and fed up to me.”
I sniffle.
“Ah, I see. Who are they?” he asks kindly.
“My foster family.”
“And you’ve told them how you feel, haven’t you?”
I shake my head. “Of course, not. Look at them; they are shining stars, and I’m just me.”
“Vae, that is absolute nonsense. If I can see your worth, I assure you lots of people can.”
“They can’t.”
“Then they don’t deserve you. How about you be my date this evening? I was going stag, but I’d love to have a beautiful omega like you keeping me company instead.”
“Marilyn said you were my date,” I say in surprise.
“Oh, did she now? Meddlesome alpha,” he mutters.
Mal leans down and kisses Indy on the cheek, and a photographer takes several shots. My heart thumps hard in my chest. My decision is made instantly.
“Okay. I’ll stay with you.”
“Excellent. Now, what can I show you to get your mind off those fools? I know, do you want to see my kitchen and the cake?”
His expression is so open, so honest. There’s no teasing, cruelty, or malice. He’s just being a really nice person. When I glance back at the pack, they are surrounding Indy, a beautiful pack.
It’s time to let go. Just a little bit. It’s time to find my own people and happiness.
I focus on him and only him, forcing a tiny smile that doesn’t show how much my heart is hurting. “Yes, I would like to go with you to see the cake.”
I put my hand in his, and when he threads our fingers together, I don’t pull away.