Chapter 33 Deacon #2
I laugh silently and lean on the trolley.
“I couldn’t sleep last night, so I put all those fish things she had in little jars in her curtain rods and the ugliest pair of sneakers in her wardrobe.”
“You evil genius.”
“What about you?”
“I had a gift delivered while we were out.”
“What kind of gift?”
“You’ll see.”
Indy pays for all our shop and loads up the car with difficulty. I make her sit in the back with the groceries, saying she’s so small that it’s a perfect size for her.
We get home, and after bringing all the groceries in and putting them away, I hand her the present. It’s a large silver box. She smiles warily and opens it.
BOOM
“Happy two-week anniversary!” I cry out.
She blinks and blinks and blinks. I think the veins in her forehead might burst. I’ve never seen anyone as angry as she is right now.
And I feel no regrets.
The glitter continues to rain down in blues and pinks, so fine that it’s almost a mist. I might never ever get it off me, but it will be worth it. A story I can laugh about with the pack once we’ve taken care of this.
Indy tilts her head back and screams. She stamps her feet, throws her arms around, and screams. The glitter spreads farther and farther, coating everything in the vicinity.
“But, babe, don’t you like the present?”
She picks up the rainbow horse dildo and throws it at my head. “You disgust me! I hate you.”
I stare at her in shock. “Babe, you don’t mean that.”
She opens her mouth, closes it, and turns and stalks off.
I lean into the camera. “Phase three: begins.”
In the middle of the night, Indy wakes us all up screaming.
I mean, I would, too, if I woke up to a bed full of crabs. It cost a small fortune, but there are about thirty crabs crawling across her bed as I lay here safe in the spare bed, nary a crustacean in sight.
I lay back and smile up at the roof.
She continues to scream.
It’s music to my ears.
I feel no regrets. Zero regrets, uploading the before and after video onto her social media accounts when Malcolm managed to get her password.
“What did you caption?”
“Rah! Scared you, didn’t I? Sometimes I scare myself.”
Malcolm laughs.
I send Where’s My Phone to our phones and change the ringtone to me singing ‘Baby, Come Back’.
It sounds terrible.
I go through her photos and find a video she’d taken three weeks ago of a guy she was fucking.
“Should I?”
“Yes!” Raynor says.
I don’t just upload it; I just send it to all her family and friends. Then we all rush out of the house and go down to the street. We come up, arguing, but Indy’s eyes are wide and full of tears.
“How did you do it?” She roars.
“Do what?”
“How did you send that video-” She cuts herself off short.
“What video?”
I pass her the wrap.
She takes it, opens it, and bites in. Her eyes widen and water. She rushes to the sink and spits it out.
“What is that?”
“Wasabi, it's really good for you.”
She sticks her head under the tap and tries to rinse it off.
“FUCK!”
She snaps her head towards the hallway where Mal yelled.
“I’m really sorry, Indy.”
“You’re sorry? For what?”
“I accidentally knocked your foundation into the toilet.”
“WHAT?” Her screech is terrifying. And hilarious. No more masks for the princess.
“I wanted to see if the colour matched my balls and if they’d look better with some make up on.”
“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?” Indy howls.
“Seriously, Indy, calm down.”
“What were you doing in my toilet?” She howls and grips her hair.
But my eyes widen as the hair lifts a bit.
“Oh, God, is that a wig? Are you wearing a wig? Your scalp just parted.” I flick a finger up at her head.
Indy clamps her hands down on her head and hisses at me. “Get back.”
She rushes to the mirror down the hallway.
“You know, I’m starting to think she’s like some possessed golem or something. Is anything real?” Raynor murmurs.
I continue eating my food. Her phone is ringing, pinging, the sound of my crying out ‘Baby, Come Back’ at the top of my lungs is so loud and distracting and satisfying.
She looks at all of us and shrieks when Raynor flies his remote control plane at her head.
Indy explodes, she chases after it with her teeth bared. I casually pick up her phone and answer it.
“Hello, Deacon Katz speaking. Oh, hi, Mum, I can call you Mum, right?”
Indy stops, her face going white.
“Yeah, Indy’s here. No, I’m not in any video; what are you talking about?”
Indy snatches the phone and disappears.
I wait, glancing at Raynor and Malcolm with a satisfied smirk.
Raynor goes and sits on Malcolm’s lap and starts making out with him because Indy hates seeing us together. It is apparently disgusting.
Why did we ever date her?
She comes storming out, furious. “How dare you! I’m going to release all those photos. I’m going to ruin you and that omega you love so much. Vae won’t be able to walk down the street without the fans attacking her.”
“We were never anything with Vae. All those photos are innocent.”
“I don’t even care. Your fans are so dumb they will believe anything they see.”
“I’m not sure what you thought you’d get from blackmailing us into dating you.”
“I didn’t realise you were such pigs! You’re monsters. No one’s going to want you. Besides, you aren’t even that good hockey players, and WILL YOU STOP KISSING HIM IN MY LOUNGEROOM, IT’S FUCKING FOUL.”
I couldn’t have written the script for this more perfectly.
Malcolm pulls away from Raynor. “But I love him.”
“I don’t care. You belong to me; you are my possessions. Raynor shouldn’t even be here; he’s useless.”
Raynor pretends to gasp.
“I am not your possession, Indy, and the only reason we agreed to do this was to protect Vae. I don’t give a shit about you. Vae is everything that is good in this world.”
“Oh, the saintly Vae.”
“She is our scent match, Indy.”
“I don’t care, if you go to her, I’ll send those photos out.”
I wait, staring at the phone, waiting for a sign.
“Do it,” Raynor says, calling it before I can.
I close my eyes in relief.
“Time to go home,” Mal says maliciously and lifts Raynor’s hand to his lips. “Right, babe?”
“I’ll send them, I really will,” Indy screams.
The doorbell rings, and I cross over and open it, revealing Jansen with two police officers.
“Indy Danvers, you’re under arrest.”
She screams and protests, but, in the end, nothing matters but that we are free. I end the live stream and share the link to her social media profiles.
I almost want to run over and find Vae, but I need to give her time. We’ve taken out the trash, now we need to prove we’ve changed.