Chapter 17
ZANE
Itexted Jakob and asked him to meet me. He responded by saying it was funny because he’d planned to drop me a line. I suggested that we meet in Delaware Park, by the rose garden overlooking Shakespeare Hill.
When I saw Jakob, I gained an even greater sense of how incredible he looked.
Like, maybe the light hit him a certain way.
That or the blue dress shirt he wore did something (even more) for him.
I can only say that that I nearly lunged at him like I did at his place.
Yeah, I know how unhealthy that would’ve been, but self-control came at a premium after meeting Jakob.
Our last meeting really shit the bed. I only wanted to blow him off—and please don’t think up any dirty puns to pair with that, okay? I would say I’d had my fun, but that would have to be the end of it.
When he stopped before me, I drew a calming breath.
“You said you had something you wanted to talk to me about?” he asked.
“You said you had something you wanted to talk to me about, too. You go first.”
“Why should I? You were the one who reached out to me.”
“Yeah, but you were going to—”
I nearly choked on my own words. I could say that Jakob Martin was driving me crazy, but I think that’s pretty evident.
“Okay,” I said, “if it’ll get the ball rolling, I’ll go first. What came out of my mouth at Spot Coffee yesterday totally wasn’t what I wanted to say.”
“No shit. I’m in the same boat with you.”
“Then we can agree about what we both said?”
“Damn right. I wanted to cut out my tongue.”
I paused, even with my next sentence ready to charge past my lips. With my index finger raised, I wanted to switch gears and direct some pretty choice words at the Larkin Lion but refrained.
“It’s obvious that there’s more going on between us than either of us thought,” I said. “It’s also pretty clear that it’s not going away.”
“God help me…”
“Your enthusiasm is duly noted, Jakob. Anyway, I’ve got a plan that’ll help us manage… whatever the hell it is that’s going on between us.”
“Go ahead and tell me. You’re going to anyway, right?”
“Your vote of confidence is absolutely mammoth, you know that?”
When he smiled widely, I wondered how the hell it was that I’d wound up fucking Jakob Martin. You know, of all the men on earth? Worse, I wondered how I could possibly want to return for Round Two.
“Anyway,” I said, “the sex was just ridiculously good. I wouldn’t admit that to anyone else, but I’ve never experienced anything quite like it before.
I thought we could never do something like that again, partly because it seemed so…
weird. But now that a few days have passed, I think I’m ready to do it again.
I want to. No, I need to do it again. Like, really, really badly.
“So, here’s what I say we do. We’ll just fuck.
It’ll be no big deal. Free country, right?
Nothing stopping us. You don’t have a roommate, so it’s probably best to do it at your place.
We can do it at mine when my roommate isn’t there.
Now, about schedules. I’m good for Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday, anytime after seven.
Sundays we can play by ear. Of course, if either of us feels so horny that we can’t stand it a second longer, we can adjust our schedules. ”
“Uh, Zane?”
“In a minute, Jakob, I’m talking. I know that hockey is the most important thing on earth for both of us. And yeah, our teams obviously hate on another.”
“Zane, look—”
“Don’t interrupt. We at least have to make sure what we’re doing doesn’t hurt our on-ice performance.
If anything, I think it’ll help our play.
Regular fucking will allow us both to release a boatload of tension.
As for the sex itself, I can keep fucking you, but I won’t rule out letting you give it to me in the ass—if I’m in the right mood.
No one ever said Zane Hirst isn’t a fair guy, and—”
Jakob slapped me across the face. He didn’t slap me hard; just enough to shut me up. I touched my fingers to the stinging spot before I snapped back to reality.
“What the fuck did you do that for?” I asked.
“Because I didn’t have a bucket of ice water handy.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Of course you don’t. You’re Zane Hirst. There’s nothing on the planet that wouldn’t fly straight over your head.”
“What’s that supposed to mean.”
“You could be brainwashed with an eye dropper. Need I say more?”
“Gee, suddenly I think duct tape will be as important as lube the next time we fuck. It’s the only way to shut you up.”
“That’s what you think.”
“That it’s the only way to shut you up?”
“No, that we’ll ever have sex again.”
“But… but…”
“Yeah, yeah, Zane, I know how much you enjoyed my butt. Let me tell you, this ass comes at a price.”
“It was the most incredible moment of your life. You said so yourself.”
“I did not say it was the most incredible moment of my life.”
“Not in so many words, Jakob, but your eyes told the whole story.”
You know what he did? He rolled his eyes. Worse, he served up a little snort to go with it, kind of like a side dish.
“So, are you really going to tell me you didn’t like it?” I asked.
“No.”
“So, it was just a mediocre shag-fest then, huh? I can tell you one thing, though. I happen to know that you didn’t fake that orgasm. I gave you the real McCoy.”
“As usual, Zane, you need someone to draw you a diagram.”
If I hadn’t wanted to hump Jakob’s brains out so badly, I would’ve decked him for that. Actually, I would’ve sent him to the moon for slapping me, and I couldn’t decide which was the greater offense.
“I’ve gone along with a lot of things to get laid,” I said, “so go ahead and do your worst.”
“The sex was great,” he said.
“No kidding. You were sleeping with me.”
“I’ve never experienced anything like it in my life either.”
“So, you do want it again.”
I advanced on him, tugging at his shirt, hoping to pull off a quick outdoors romp in the park.
He pulled away from me like the perfect tease.
“If you want sex again,” I said, “why the fuck do you keep pushing me away?”
“I’m not pushing you away. I’m holding you at bay. There’s a difference.”
“There’s a difference, is there? Oh, that makes me feel so much better.”
“I’m holding you at bay, so you don’t fly out of control. I don’t want to lose control either.”
“We wouldn’t have wound up in this pickle if either of us had the first clue about self-control.”
“We’re in a pickle now, huh? Nice Freudian slip. Anyway, at least I’m willing to do something about it.”
Jakob turned out to be a much harder sale than I’d expected.
Seriously. I’d would’ve thought I could all but snap my fingers and he would leap into my bed.
But he didn’t. And it must’ve been more than just a Larkin Lions thing.
Because I no longer knew where he was going with this, I decided to keep quiet and not gum up the works.
“I want to sleep with you, again, I do,” he said, “but it needs to be on my terms.”
“Your terms? That’s just great.”
“I’m sure you’ll live, Zane.”
“Why don’t you go ahead and tell me that those terms are?”
“I don’t just sleep with people. Not the way you want. One-off hookups are one thing, but I’ve really got to draw the line at a friends-with-benefits arrangement.”
“So, what are you suggesting?”
“That we at least go on a real date before diving down each other’s pants again.”
To me, Jakob might as well have said, Let’s jump off a bridge and see it we survive, or Why don’t we enjoy a nice strychnine cocktail?
“You’re not serious,” I said.
“I’m always serious.”
I sputtered, knowing Jakob Martin could seldom finish a sentence without dropping some kind of dumbass remark.
“A first date,” I said, “that’s what people do if they’re gay, isn’t it?”
“It’s what people do when they’re bi. They also do it when… when they don’t know exactly what they are. Not everyone uses labels, you know.”
Jakob’s suggestion pushed me too close to uncharted territory for comfort, and I tried to resist.
“I don’t know if I can do that, Jakob, and not just because it’s the craziest thing you’ve ever suggested.”
“A date sounds crazier than us making the sheets sing?”
“It does, yeah. Even if that seems weird. I don’t care. I’ve got to think about the team. Like, we both need to think about our teams. What the hell would they say?”
“They would only say something if they know about it, Zane. We’ll take the steps to make sure they don’t.”
Drawing a huge breath, I shifted my eyes. God, this guy was impossible.
“But I wouldn’t even know where we should go,” I said.
“How about the Colter Bay Grill? It is kind of like ‘our place,’ isn’t it?”
“Wow, you’re a regular Jimmy Fallon, aren’t you?”
“Look, we can stand here and argue about it, or we can reach some kind of agreement. How ‘bout it?”
“Jakob, if we go on a date now, there’s a chance it could lead to something else.”
“Yeah, I know it could.”
“And that doesn’t scare you?”
“Oh, it does. But the idea that I would even touch you, let alone sleep with you for no apparent reason—twice—scares me even more.”
I considered slapping Jakob across the face. God, that would feel so fucking awesome. One good turn deserved another, right? Ultimately, I understood that Jakob held the cards, and I would have to go along with what he asked if I wanted to fuck him again.
“I can’t do it,” I said. “It’s just too weird.”
“Your loss.” Zane turned and started to walk away but stopped himself. He wiggled his ass in a very subtle fashion, probably knowing I wouldn’t miss it. Then he glanced over his shoulder and peered down as if even he needed to steal a glimpse of his own backside.
That meant I should be drowning in my own lust by now.
“I can’t do it,” I said.
“That’s no problem for me. I just want to make sure you know what you’re missing out on.”
He spoke in a sing-song voice that threatened to drive me insane. And then he reached back and rubbed his ass, pretending to spread the cheeks apart for me. Worse, he kept doing it, probably thinking I would cave in.
But I would show him.
I crossed my arms, saying, “I won’t do it.”