Chapter 30
JAKOB
Something had burned within me since yesterday. It wasn’t that I was mad at him for leaving me hanging. I knew what he wanted to say. Come on, people, I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck. I needed him to say the words I’d longed to say, so I could say them. Does that make sense?
But he hadn’t said what I’d hoped. Now I felt so overwhelmed by emotion that I thought I would burst if the words weren’t spoken. Think of a pot that boils over even after you’ve slammed on a lid.
Something had to give.
“I love you.” The words floated out of my mouth as if from only the slightest provocation.
“What?” Zane asked.
“I love you.”
He leapt from the couch so fast that I took a free fall onto the cushions. Thank God the landing was nice and cozy. He grabbed the remote, pausing the movie, which froze Bill Murray pointing a finger at William Atherton.
My boyfriend paced the room like I’d just told him that his life savings had been drained by a cyber hacker. Not exactly the response I was looking for.
“Hold on,” he said. “Can you say that one more time?”
“Can you dig the wax out of your ears? I won’t have to repeat myself.”
“Yeah sure, whatever.”
“I love you.”
“Yes!!” Zane clapped his hands together, did a spin move, and then proceeded to strut around the room, snapping his fingers. Thank God he stopped himself short of dancing the Charleston.
“Are you going to be okay?” I asked.
“Hell no!” His ear-to-ear smile flatlined. “I mean, uh, yeah, I’ll definitely be okay. I’ve never been better.”
“I’m glad my little announcement makes you feel so good.”
“It does a whole lot more than that, my good man. It makes me feel like a million bucks. You know why?”
“Tell me.”
“Because I got you to say it first! Ha, ha, I win!”
Zane Hirst might’ve chosen to explore his tender side but that didn’t make him any less obnoxious.
“That’s fine by me,” I said, “especially since I figured you would be too chicken to say it first.”
Initially, he seemed not to notice what I said. It passed through one ear and out the other, like most of the things people say to him. When my meaning finally hit him, he did a doubletake.
“Wait a second, what did you just say?”
“I said you were too chicken to say it first. And I stand by that. Bock, bock, bock, bock, bock!”
I rose from the couch and took my turn dancing around the living room like an idiot. Only I flapped my arms like wings and clucked like a chicken. Somehow, I truly believed that Zane Hirst still managed to look like the bigger moron.
“Stop that, would you?” he said.
“Make me. It’s a free country, bub.”
Zane’s face went stony, but I knew it wasn’t because he actually felt angry or even legit annoyed. If anything, he must’ve felt put out that I’d dampened the ridiculous celebration that he seemed to relish.
“Jakob!” He put his hands on his hips to show he meant business.
But I wouldn’t quit. I was having far too much fun mocking him.
“Someone call Colonel Sanders,” I said. “We need to fry you up with his original recipe. Extra crispy!”
When I struck up another round of chicken dancing, he grabbed my shoulders and threw me down onto the couch. Then he pounced, letting me feel his full weight. That feeling always turned me on and now was no exception.
My boyfriend leaned in and kissed me. Just thinking of Zane as my boyfriend so freely felt even more amazing than the taste of his lips. Nothing on earth beat that, and I felt like I’d just scored a two-fer.
His tongue slipped into my mouth and, for a moment, I swore we would soon tear off our clothes and start going at it right then and there. But Zane kept kissing me slowly but greedily, like he wanted to savor every bit of this moment.
The hard-on straining against his pants poked my leg. My own cock felt rock hard and all but cried out for release. My boyfriend’s breathing picked up, and he grunted, which told me he’d sunk deeply into this moment.
Finally, he broke away from the kiss and hauled himself back upright.
I sat up, following him, and lunged forth to steal another kiss from the Remington Riptide.
This was the most carefree I’d felt about our relationship since…
maybe ever. The sex had been steaming hot, but I felt like we’d ascended to a whole new level.
I honestly thought that the three little words I’d said had provided a blessing, a means to quit worrying about the reality that nagged at us. Still, I knew that we would have to worry about those things again, one way or another.
“Okay,” I said, “now that we’ve established that you’re a chicken, do you have anything to say to me?”
“Yeah, fuck off.”
“Is that the thanks I get? I tell you I love you and you tell me to fuck off?”
He rolled his eyes and shook his head, then cast a questioning look at me.
“Got a problem or something?” he asked.
“I’m waiting to hear it.”
“Waiting to hear what?
“Come on, Zane, even you can’t be this much of a dope. I’m waiting for you to say you love me to pieces.”
“You’re gonna wind up in a million little pieces if you’re not careful.”
He shook his fist at me.
“Am I supposed to be scared?”
“Hell yeah.”
“I don’t see why. After all, I know what happened the one time we did have a physical altercation.”
“Never gonna let me live that down, huh?”
“Not when I’m having this much fun reminding you about it.”
Zane groaned cartoonishly, threw his hands over his face, and collapsed into the chair adjacent to the couch.
He slid down the chair like he might fall off and land in a heap on the floor.
I never expected us to develop a real relationship, but then I never would’ve thought I would tell Zane Hirst that I loved him.
Instead of letting the whole thing die, I stared at Zane even though he’d kept his hands over his face. Two fingers parted so he could peek out, and then clammed up the moment he found me staring at him.
Finally, he dropped his hands, looking haggard from the fact that I’d pestered him so persistently.
Here’s the thing: I stared at him like that because I found nothing in the world as fun as driving Zane Hirst nuts.
“You’re really going to make me do this, aren’t you?” he asked.
“Of course I am.”
He tugged at his collar and fidgeted with his hands. Talk about a drama king. You would think the sky would fall if he told me how he really felt.
“What’s the big deal?” I asked. “It’s just three little words.”
“To you they’re just three little words. To me, they’re—”
“Three words with only one syllable each. I can see how that would pose a challenge for you.”
He stood up and paced the room. Honest-to-God, who would’ve thought that uttering three lousy words would pose not only a challenge but a threat?
Then he stopped and slumped his shoulders.
“Okay fine, I love you.” He spat the words out. “Happy now?”
“That didn’t sound very sincere.”
He gritted his teeth and balled his hands into fists. My boyfriend actually choked back a scream. That alone told me I’d won the battle if not the war.
“Okay, okay, fine,” he said, “I’ll say it so it sounds more sincere.” He took a deep breath. “I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. A million fucking times, I love you. Satisfied?”
I paused because I couldn’t grant him the satisfaction of an immediate reply. He could’ve stared holes through me at that moment, but he couldn’t faze me.
“Okay, I guess I’m satisfied,” I said.
“You guess?”
“Look, it’s not every day I admit that you’ve satisfied me, so you should take what you can get.”
Now Zane’s brow furrowed. He wanted to kill me; I could tell. That just meant I’d accomplished my mission.
“In that case maybe you should let me satisfy you again.”
When he pounced onto the couch again, I saw the erection straining against his jeans once more. If I could say only one great thing about Zane Hirst, it was that he could go from zero to sixty in record time.
He eased me down onto the couch cushion, allowing me to feel his weight like he had earlier. At that moment, I didn’t want to worry about anything else.
His tongue slipped back into my mouth, and I threw my arms around his neck and shoulders, squeezing him tight. Then he freed his hand to loosen my belt and help me out of my pants. This was simply an escape, a means to forget the bigger problems that stood ahead of us.
But sometimes it helped us to do what felt good. It helped us to do what felt so right.